I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 6 2016. I’m planning on switching everything over from Patreon to my website (here) over the next few months and thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
I’ve been changing my mind a lot lately because I’m scared I’m making the wrong decision. I hastily decided a few months ago that I wanted to go back to school and finally get a bachelor’s degree. I did all the paperwork and whatnot, signed up for financial aid, went to open house, started thinking about where I would want to go for study abroad….
And today I’m cancelling all of it. My husband AD is currently a full time student taking on about 10k in loans per year and I am the one paying the bills. I no longer enjoy my job and it is so stressful sometimes I come home and just cry. Or I’ll be in such a sour mood when I come home I won’t want to do anything but bitch and complain and he doesn’t deserve that, he’s working hard too, just on calculus and physics homework and stressing out about his new research position. I rushed into my decision to go back to school without putting a lot of thought into it, I just wanted to escape my stressful day job and make a major change. When we actually looked at our finances and how much we were about to be in debt I just couldn’t justify going back to school. That stressful job I have has amazing benefits and I have a steady paycheck. I’m going to stay but keep an eye out for a different job within the company. Or outside of the company, who knows. I’m still ready for a major change, I just don’t know what that change is yet. We are moving to a different apartment in November, maybe that will be the major change that I need. I think I need more of a change than that, but it’s at least a start.
I got approved for 2 weeks of vacation in July so we’re going to make the most of it and go on a big trip. We’ve talked a lot about where we’re going to go and I think we’ve decided on Colorado. Unless I change my mind again. I don’t think I will but we’ll see.
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