I originally wrote this for Patreon on December 2nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
If you’ve been here for a little while or you have archive access, you’ve probably already seen some of the sets that Edgar and I created last time I was in Chicago. We created so much that day and I’m excited to share this bathtub set with you! We started out with a plain bath and then added one of my favorite bath bombs from Blood Lily Bath that turns the water dramatically black. The bathtub was huge and super slippery of course so it was actually pretty difficult for me to pose in but we were able to create a lot of really great images despite the bathtub challenge.
In other news, my birthday was on Thursday (Nov 30) and it was wonderful! Antisocialdisposition took some time off from school and working on the NASA USLI project to spend extra time with me which made me feel extra special. Wednesday night we drove almost 2 hours to Greensboro to watch Devin Townsend in concert. He is one of AD & my favorite musicians and we have made it a point to see him every time he visits anywhere near us. The 2 times we saw him before this one we drove all the way to Atlanta (4 hrs away)! The show was amazing as always, and I bought my favorite album of his (Addicted) at the merch booth before we left. It has been playing nonstop in my car since the concert. We got home late, went to bed, slept in and had a lazy morning, then he went to campus to work for a few hours and I had the afternoon to myself. I treated myself to an awesome bath, complete with a crystal grid of course, and read from my new book that AD got me for my birthday, The Hidden Life of Trees. I’m only a couple of chapters in and I really love it so far! I worked on a special new project for a couple of hours, then AD came home and we went to our favorite sushi place! I’m one lucky human.
I hope you have a fantastic weekend filled with all of your favorite things! <3
Video tier! I’ve just uploaded:
10 videos to show you how I celebrated my birthday (Devin Townsend concert, bathtime with crystals, & sugar consumption yay), a butt-centric body movement video, &9 cheeky boomerangs with my sister Gemini.
All members have access to this complete 36 image photoset by clicking here, the 10 videos to show you how I celebrated my birthday by clicking here, the body movement video by clicking here, & 9 cheeky boomerangs with my sister Gemini by clicking here.
I originally wrote this for Patreon on October 28th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
Gemini and I were both at our parents house recently and I brought my camera and some film along just in case I felt like taking some photos. We were looking for snacks in the fridge and saw a whole bunch of juicy looking cherries and knew that they would make a great (and messy) prop for a photoshoot. We have both been wanting to take photos with either blood or something that looks like blood for a while… cherry juice definitely looks like blood! I’m glad I waited until this weekend (the one closest to Halloween) to share this set with you. I think it’s the perfect set for this time of year.
We started out the shoot with some detail shots with cherries in them and then quickly started making a mess with them, dripping the juice all over her skin. By the end of the shoot she was absolutely covered in cherry juice! You can really see how covered she was in the behind the scenes photos and videos I’ve added to the galleries. Surprisingly it didn’t take her long at all to rinse it off. I thought it might stain her skin but thankfully it didn’t.
I’d really like to do a messy fruit shoot like this again. What fruit would you like to see?
I took a LOT of behind the scenes videos during this shoot, so members have access to all EIGHT of them! I think my favorite one is the one where you can watch me dripping the juice on her chest.
I’m also uploading a video of me doing a nude headstand, just because it’s fun and I like sharing videos with you. =] It’s wonderful to see videos from a year or so ago when I was first practicing headstands. I was so wobbly and I fell frequently. I’m so much steadier and stronger now! I think aerial silks has helped me a lot not only with strength, but also with balance and confidence in what my body is capable of. Now I want to learn handstands!
I originally wrote this for Patreon on August 12th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
Tiffany Helms and Jeff Waters hosted me while I was in Philly, and one of the mornings I was there Tiffany and I took these fun photos! She placed a bunch of googly eyes on my shoulder and photographed me using a fancy colorful gadget she made to create all the cute dots of color. You’ll probably recognize the googly eyes from the selfies and boomerangs I shared while I was there.
Later that day we shot in the graffiti-filled abandoned house from last week’s post! Jeff took a few photos of me in the greenery growing all over the inside of the house. That day was just so fantastic. =D
This month’s nude yoga video is now in the galleries! I didn’t plan it this way but my sister Gemini ended up doing nude yoga with me! I practiced leading a yoga flow which I have only done a couple of times, talking Gemini through the poses. I’m excited that I got to practice this because I plan on taking a yoga teacher training course in the next year or two and need all the practice I can get! The video irritatingly cuts off at the end before we finished the flow, which I didn’t realize until we were already done. =[ I ran out of memory/space! I’m currently doing all of my videos with my phone until I can afford a nice video camera so I’m doing the best I can with what I have.
How awesome is it that two months in a row someone from my family joined me for nude yoga?! =D It makes me so happy that my family is so incredibly supportive of me. I am so grateful, I know I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful family.
I’ve added 2 aerial silks videos of me doing star drop to the video gallery as well! It’s a fun drop that doesn’t look super exciting in the videos but I just need to work on it more to make it more dramatic.
Photos Tiffany took:
Photo Jeff took:
All members have access to this complete 5 image film photoset taken by Tiffany Helms by clicking here, the 5 image digital photoset by clicking here, the 11 image photoset by Jeff Waters by clicking here, the nude yoga video with my sister by clicking here, and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.
I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
I’ve been saving this set for a bit because I love it so much. Sometimes I want to hold onto things a little while, I enjoy having solitary time with them before other eyes have a chance to see.
I am close with my sister Gemini, in both age (18 months apart) and relationship (best friends). We don’t get to see each other as much since AD & I moved to a place about 45 minutes away from her and my parents. We used to be 15-20 minutes away. She has gone through a lot in her life in a way that I’ve been fortunate enough to never experience. She is strong, courageous, intuitive, genuine, complicated, unique, and oh so beautiful. I’m lucky to know her, and blessed to call her my sister. <3
We took these self portraits together when we were in San Antonio in March. I love creating with her!
Gemini has been considering starting her own Patreon, I’ll let you know when she has it up and running! She has a kinky side that will definitely show up on her page. You already know this if you follow her on IG, she recently posted some waxplay photos and she loves being an adorable fox (yeah, complete with ears and tail!).
Since this is a Gemini appreciation post, I’m sharing a video of her foxing around in two futos. It’s fun to practice shibari on her and she loves it. She’s super cute walking around on her knees, especially when she loses her balance hehehe.
And, just because I feel like it, I’m sharing a backyard yoga timelapse video too! =D
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 3rd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is actually ME vs what has been planted into my brain by our culture, specifically American culture. I want to challenge culture.
Ok, I guess I probably should explain. Let’s talk about everyday life and things that are “normal.” You get up in the morning, take a shower, put on your gender-appropriate clothes, and get ready for your day. You leave your house or apartment and drive or take public transportation to work or school. You see other people looking the way they “should” look ie: wearing “appropriate” clothes, women wearing makeup with their hair done, men with short hair and possibly facial hair etc. You go about your day, eat at a restaurant or get something take out or delivered for lunch, finish your day at work or school, and come home to your significant other (most likely of the opposite sex). Sounds pretty normal, right? Of course, because it’s what American culture has taught us is normal.
Well, what would your everyday life be like if you lived in a remote area as a member of a community that doesn’t have the internet or even power, who hunts and gathers and gardens for their food? Normal everyday life would probably be waking up when the sun comes up, doing your duties for the community such as hunting or gathering or gardening, eating meals with family & friends, and telling stories by a fire before you go to bed only an hour or two after sundown.
“Normal” is different for everyone depending on where and how they grew up. American culture tells us that there is a formula you have to follow in order to be “normal.” If you’re not “normal” those who are very deep into American culture don’t know what to do with you and call you a freak or beat you up or judge you or something else that’s not very nice.
WHY do we (people with American culture deeply ingrained in them) assume that anyone that’s not like us is bad or weird or stupid or in need of our help to become more like us? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same. I want to live in a DIVERSE world where there are a multitude of different cultures, ideas, and points of view.
I want to challenge culture. I want to experience things that are not “normal.” I want to do, wear, listen to, be a part of things that make me HAPPY and because I WANT TO, not because it’s expected of me or because that’s what everyone else is doing.
What do you do every day to follow culture?
What do you do every day to follow your HEART?
This week I’ve uploaded a special acrobatic nude video of me hanging out of a tree!
I’ve also included 2 aerial silks videos from when I was first learning scorpion. One video is me doing scorpion for an entire minute. It doesn’t seem like that long until you’re hanging by your legs doing a backbend, then a minute is a long time! Haha The other is of me doing a skin the cat exit from scorpion. =]
This month I’m starting a monthly nude yoga video! I’ll be uploading that in the next week or two, look for that soon. Yay! I’m really looking forward to creating these yoga videos. I don’t have a great camera for video but I do what I can, it just limits me to videos at 10 minutes maximum length. I have a future goal of buying a nice video-capable digital camera so every pledge helps me get a little closer to higher quality videos just for you!
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 29th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
This week I just want to share a ton of positive affirmations with you. <3
I awaken each morning with happiness and gratitude.
I find joy in everything that I do.
I love to share laughter with others.
By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
Happiness is my natural state of being.
I am able to be completely myself in my relationship.
I communicate my desires and needs clearly and confidently.
I know exactly what I need to do to achieve success.
I am capable of anything I set my mind to.
I never lose, I either learn or I win.
I easily find solutions to challenges and move past them quickly.
I live in the present and am confident in the future.
I love change and easily adjust myself to new situations.
I always see the good in others.
I attract positive confident people.
I love myself deeply and completely.
I know that I am worthy of the best things in life.
I fill my mind with positive and nourishing thoughts.
I trust myself and know that my inner wisdom is my best guide.
I nourish my body with healthy food.
Every cell in my body vibrates with energy and good health.
Every inhale brings in positive energy, every exhale expels negativity.
I surround myself with peaceful, loving people.
I release past anger and hurt and attract peace, love, and joy.
I am grateful for this moment and find joy in it.
I am here now.
I am fully present in all of my relationships.
I release the past and live fully in the present.
All is well in my world.
I love you, you’re the absolute best. <3 Enjoy these self portraits with my sister Gemini.
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 8th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
Mercury retrograde starts tomorrow and continues until May 3rd. This might be why I feel like I’ve been in a funk lately! What is Mercury retrograde and why should I care about it? When a planet is in retrograde it appears to be moving backward in its orbit as viewed from Earth. Retrograde comes from the Latin term “retrogradus” which means “backward step.” The planets, moon, sun, and stars all affect things that happen here on Earth, and Mercury (named after the Greek messenger god) governs communication and transportation. When Mercury is in retrograde its positive influence is turned into more of a “negative” one. Since Mercury governs communication, transportation, and everything that goes along with it (contracts, business, documents, shipping, travel…) you will notice that those things tend to fall apart or become chaotic when Mercury is in retrograde. Things might get lost in the mail, a business meeting may go terribly wrong, or your car might break down. Astrologers recommend to not make any important plans or moves during Mercury retrograde because they most likely will not go well. I have a friend who won’t get any work done on his car, make any plans, or make any major purchases during Mercury retrograde. Pay attention to how things go for you now until May 3rd to see how Mercury retrograde affects you.
Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn are currently in retrograde. If you’d like to read more about what these planets affect when they are in retrograde, check out these links for Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn. If you’d like to see where all the planets currently are I like this website.
The sets I’m sharing today are from our time in San Antonio! My sister Gemini and I took SO MANY self portraits together at the airbnb we stayed at. There are a total of 7 sets, I haven’t even been able to go through all of them yet! I’ll be sharing a couple of sets at a time over the next several weeks. I really love them and I’m excited to show you all of them! We took all but one set in the back yard, there were a couple of interesting barns that made for wonderful backdrops. We were lucky and there was a privacy fence so the nearby neighbors had no idea! There was a guy fixing a roof a few houses away that might have seen us though….
- My sister Gemini has taken a lot of self defense classes and has compiled this list of self defense and safety info and has generously agreed to allow me to share this information with you! It is especially helpful for models who frequently travel alone.
Let’s talk about self-defense. Let’s talk about being aware of your surroundings. Let’s talk about not being an easy target. We all know there are creeps and perverts out there. Some of us know this more intimately than others. I want to go over some things with you that I have learned in the last 6-8 months attending self-defense classes and police and public safety seminars that will help you think like an attacker. If you learn to think like they think, you will learn how to avoid getting yourself in situations where you might actually encounter an attacker.
When you walk alone, you are vulnerable. When you look lost and confused, you are vulnerable. When you stare down at your phone and become completely distracted and unaware of your surroundings, you are vulnerable.
Attackers look for easy targets. If you walk around looking confident, acting like you know where you are going (even if you are completely lost and freaking out on the inside) they are less likely to approach you. They can’t read your mind and know that you are lost and scared, they see a strong confident person on their way to meet friends.
NEVER WEAR HEADPHONES IN BOTH EARS WHILE WALKING/JOGGING!!! I can’t stress this enough. It’s best not to wear them at all if you are exercising out in public alone and not in a gym. Attackers love the element of surprise that knocks their victim off their game. Music blasting in both of your ears takes away one of your senses. You can’t hear someone walk up behind you. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to an attack. Be smart!
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL: Be aware of your surroundings. Constantly keep your head on a swivel. Take note of people walking alongside you on the street, especially behind you. Check doorways or alleyways as you come up to them and walk past. Take note of parked cars along the side of the street; is anyone sitting inside the car? Is it a big van with a side door? Snatch and grabs happen easily this way. Be prepared, be aware! (I personally try to walk in the middle of the sidewalk, not too close to the cars or storefronts, especially if I’m walking alone at night.)
PARKING: Park in a well lit area, under a street light is preferred. Before leaving the venue, get your keys ready. Keys are a great weapon! Hold a key between your middle and pointer finger so when you make a fist, the key sticks out on top. BOOM! You now have a weapon! If you stand by your car fumbling in your bag for keys, you are an easy target for an attacker; you’re distracted and out in the open with no protection. Keep your head on a swivel, check the cars around you; is anyone crouching down behind/between cars? Is there someone sitting in the car next to yours? If so, do not turn your back to this person! If you can, go back inside and wait a few minutes. Go to the bathroom (if you just went to the bathroom and feel silly going back inside asking for the bathroom again, say you forgot your lip gloss, something), do something else. It might seem silly, and odds are, the person sitting in their car is harmless, but it’s better to be safe than sorry… it’s better to be safe than kidnapped… or end up dead. Check your car, check the back seats while you unlock the door. Lock your car door immediately once you are inside (before you set your bags down and settle into your seat and adjust the mirrors).
Make potential attackers uncomfortable: Look people in the eye in passing. Chat with them, engage in small talk. If an attacker knows that you could potentially identify them in a line-up, they are much less likely to target you. Attackers don’t want to be identified. They want get in and get out unnoticed. They don’t want to cause a scene and draw attention. Point out their rad tattoos, comment on their cool army boots, point out their shirt logo… Notice them.
Clothing, accessories, and hairstyle choices: As models, you often lug around a lot of bags, purses, and other gear. Something to think about: the more things you have on, the more places and things someone has to grab and hold onto. Tight fitting clothes are best. Carrying less bags, or no bags at all, is best. Ponytails are easier to grab than other hairstyles and allows the attacker to take control of you. Scarves and other things around your neck can be hazardous. Heels also make you vulnerable; if you have to run, kick them off, leave them behind, and run! Your life is more important than any of your fashion accessories!
Being Attacked- First Response: If you are attacked, your first response should be screaming, yelling “STOP” yell anything you think of. Cause a scene and put up a fight. This will deter the attacker because you are drawing attention by making loud noises. If you put up a fight, they will likely leave you alone and get away because you are not making it easy enough on them and you are drawing attention. They look for people that will be easy targets, don’t make it easy for them! Yell “FIRE”, “HELP, MY BABY”, or “MY BABY IS ON FIRE” if the attacker is successful at apprehending you. These phrases are sure to draw attention from on-lookers and passerby’s.
LEARN SELF-DEFENSE!!! I cannot tell you how important this is. Your body is a weapon. Your life is worth protecting and you have the power to protect yourself! As women, AFAB, or people assumed to be women, we are taught at a young age that we are delicate. That we should not raise our voices or do certain things on our own. Well, FUCK THAT SHIT! We can do anything! We can raise our voices, be loud, and be heard. Taking self-defense classes changed my life. I have more confidence now than I ever have in my life. I feel safe by myself. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. My severe anxiety has gone down quite drastically since I learned how to defend myself. I strongly encourage you to take a self-defense course. Find somewhere to take self-defense classes. Surprisingly, a lot of places offer free or very cheap self-defense classes to ladies. Take your friends, your family, hell, I took my co-worker with me to self-defense class a few times. It is worth your time, attention, money, and energy!
PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
It is not enough to just watch self-defense videos online and attend a few classes. YOU MUST PRACTICE! Practice moves with a TRUSTED friend or family member. You only perfect the moves if you practice them. Some of the moves are easy, others require more skill and finesse.
Remember: there is no such thing as a “cheap shot.” If you are threatened and someone is attacking you, do anything you can to get away. Gouge their eyes out with your keys, punch, kick, knee them in the balls, bite them, karate chop their windpipe…. If they are attacking you, they don’t deserve your compassion. Do anything you can to escape. HOWEVER, one good punch or jab does not mean they are too winded or hurt to come after you. It’s not like the movies where they take one hit and they are down for the count. Hit them until they are really hurt, until they are on the ground. Then RUN to a safe place. My self-defense instructor had one rule: I WIN. Meaning, if we encounter an attacker, we walk away the winner, no matter what!There is so much that I can add to this, but I will stop here for now. This is just the starting point on tips, safety precautions, and things to think about.