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Archives with Stevie Macaroni

August 10, 2019 /
I’ve been friends with Stevie Macaroni for YEARS, she’s one of the first model friends I made when I first started modeling… I think we met in 2011? 2012? We’ve taken SO MANY photos of each other over the years and this photoset is the archive of all of the photos she’s taken of me so far. We’ve gone on a couple of road trips together (Nashville, Beaumont/Houston/Austin/Dallas) and some travel photos from those trips are in this set too. Enjoy this collection of photos from 2012-2015 ish?
CURRENTLY: I got home from my epic 2+ month cross country road trip a couple of days ago and I am EXHAUSTED and OVERWHELMED. I am so thankful that I was able to go on this trip to explore and create and learn about myself, but since I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time on the computer while I was gone (I didn’t WANT to anyway, I’d rather be frolicking nude outside), I have a HUGE backlog of photos to go through and film to get developed and projects to continue or finish or START. I am overwhelmed by the large amount of things TO DO that I don’t know WHERE TO START.
I want to be able to lay everything out in front of me to see patterns, connections, stories, meaning. I want to find a thread to bring all of this together. I’m not sure if there is one, and I’m sure its not NECESSARY for me to bring everything together to create one cohesive story…. but it’s MY STORY and that’s probably why I’m overwhelmed and scared to start. I don’t know what I’m going to find or realize and it’s kinda scary. What if the last 2 months didn’t make a huge impact? What if I don’t have anything powerful or important to say after I sift through all of these photos and videos? What if I procrastinate so much that everyone forgets that I just went on the adventure of my life and they don’t care anymore and I’m just screaming into the void? What if I’m not good enough?
UGHHHHH I’m tired of this bullshit going through my head. I don’t want it, it’s not me, it’s capitalism and white supremacy and patriarchy that’s been conditioned into me by society. I’m going to do this anyway. I’m going to look through, organize, edit, and share my work. Even if it takes me a while to get through all of it. The only way I’ll lose is if I DO NOTHING AT ALL.
I love you. Thank you so much for being here with me throughout this adventure. Your support is what put food in my mouth and film in my camera. I literally couldn’t do this without you and I am so grateful. Thank you so much <3

(the other model is Melissa Troutt)

(the other model is Antisocialdisposition)