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  • Hiding from people in public

    Creating nude self portraits in public outdoor spaces has it’s own challenges, such as scrambling to hide from people so they don’t catch you! Since I love taking behind the scenes videos of my shoots, I’ve caught some of these instances on video.

    Enjoy this compilation video of me realizing people are nearby! I just made it today!

    I’m enjoying making compilation videos lately, would you like to see more of them? What kinds of compilations would you like to see?

    Click here to watch the video if it’s not loading above

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  • Mushroom Messages

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    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hello, this is going to be one of my most personal vlogs, probably… probably one of the most personal ones I’ve ever shared. So I just wanted to start with that to let you know how important it is to me. I haven’t shared this with y’all before, but I thought now would be a good time and I might cry. Just to give you a heads up.

    So today I’m going to share mushroom messages with you. I had the most spiritual experience of my life (so far) on November 7th of 2020. And I took mushrooms, psilocybin mushrooms, and then I spent the whole day in the forest in the mountains next to a river. And it was so powerful for me and I did a lot of things while I was there, but some of the more noteworthy things that I did was, I journaled a lot and I also made a video but I don’t think I’m going to share the video. I haven’t even watched it. I’m not sure that one’s a little like extra tender, but I read, I read this journal entry from while I was on mushrooms, a couple days ago, and I definitely cried reading it like just reading it to myself to be like, “do I want to share this?” So I might cry reading it just to give you a heads-up, but it’s really powerful and important to me and I hope you enjoy it. Yeah, it’s really like hopeful and heart centered in my opinion. So I’m just going to, I’m just going to start and I’m probably not going to do a fancy ending either. I’m probably just going to read it and stop the video. So yeah, here we go. 

    We are so interconnected and society sometimes makes it easy to forget. I’m here to help us remember. I’m fully into feeling these lovely, wonderful comforting mushrooms that remind me over and over again, that I’m here for a reason and that we are all here for a reason and that is to remember each other as ourselves, ourselves as each other, and that we are all here to love one another.

    I pulled three cards and of course, the first one I got was waterfall, effortless. Of course, the universe would remind me that it’s effortless for the universe to do anything that it wants to. The second card I got was Milky Way perspective because of course the universe is cheeky and wants to remind me that it always knows what’s going on whether or not I do or anyone does. It’s not important to know everything. The holder of the knowing of all there is of everything there is to know is spirit itself. And who are we to question it or think we have the answers? There are only questions and are the answers really even important? Living and being in service to life, are the true answers to everything. And anything else is just trying to sell you something. The third card I pulled was, of course, Forest breath because we are nothing without that which allows us to live. Breathing is our Sovereign right in our divine connection to all that is living on this planet. Where we choose to honor with our breath is sacred simply because we choose it. The intention of our lives is living through our breath at every moment, whether we consciously realize it or not.

    I want to consciously choose to imbue every breath with life and love because we all are nourished by each other by being alive. I want my life to be so full of love that it ripples out around me and infects everyone I come into contact with. I want to nurture and nourish the Earth with my love because I know that at every moment, it is teeming with life and love for me. I want the boundaries of where I began and the world ends to disappear with every breath I take because I’m the world and the world is me and I’m sorry for ever forgetting that fact. 

    With every breath I take, I choose to remember that the boundaries that keep us separate are really all made up. With every breath, I choose to remember the abundance of love and life that is around me every moment simply because I exist. I’m alive. I’m breathing. I’m important. I am needed. I’m a sacred piece of the tapestry of life that extends forever into the past and the future. We are here for each other. We need each other. We are each other. We cannot ever be separated because we are a sacred part of one another. The River of Life flows Forever on the banks of our love. Nothing can ever tear us apart. Spirit and matter love each other so deeply that they choose to forever dance together and every possible combination of life and love just so that they can always be together, no matter what. Thank you. I love you. 

    Every breath, every moment is love living through me. The fact that we are alive means that we are loved. Life wants to live. Love wants to love and be loved. Life is the love that the Universe gives us every moment. Living is a gift that we are given. I choose to spread love. I choose to make my life about love. I choose love. I choose life. Life and love are expressions of the gift that is forever being given to us at every moment. I choose to breathe life and love into every moment. 

    This Breath of Life and Love isn’t only mine, it is the same breath that every being past present and future breathes. We all breathe together and life and love. Time doesn’t matter when our hearts are connected. The Earth is my heart, that forever supports and loves me. I’m the heart of the Earth. We are one another. We are each other. Language can’t hold the vast expanses of the reality of my love for myself and each other and the Earth. There’s nothing that will ever break us apart. My heart is the earth. The earth is my heart. I am my heart. I am the earth. I am forever. I am love. Every breath is an expression of my love for myself, which is really also my love of you and the Earth, and my existence is love. I keep seeing tiny chipmunks scurrying around in the woods around me. I think it’s time for me to simply exist within nature. My existence is love. 

    It’s like every time I read it it brings me back and I feel… I feel all over again. The like heart open. 

    I love you.

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  • Tattoo Project with Doug Pierce!

    Doug Pierce and I got together via zoom recently so that he could interview me about my tattoos! We had a great conversation and got into a lot of the nuances about my most recent tattoo project, so if you’re curious we have a bunch of videos for you to watch! I also took self portraits to document where I am with my tattoo so far so I’ve shared some of those below! Click through to the galleries to see all of the images.
    The interview was about an hour long and I’ve separated it into 14 shorter clips. It would be too many to embed in this blog post, so I’m gonna link to them instead!

    CLICK HERE TO WATCH ALL THE INTERVIEW CLIPS

    Or if you’re looking for answers to certain questions (individual clips):

    – Info about my original back piece tattoo
    – How Doug’s use of tattoos (si’gilyn) in his stories impacts how I feel about tattoos
    – What was the first tattoo I received and how did I know I wanted it?
    – Are most tattoos painful?
    – Is there something about the pain that enhances the experience? How do I manage the pain?
    – Is getting tattooed a spiritual experience for me?
    – What’s the general inspiration for this massive tattoo project?
    – Were my ecosexual and/or agender identities a factor in the overall design of this tattoo?
    – How does this tattoo incorporate or cover up prior tattoos and why?
    – Why is the Poplar Tree in particular so important to me?
    – Who are the individual creatures in the tattoo and what is their significance?
    – What have I learned about myself in going through this process so far?
    – What’s my tattoo healing process?
    – Closing information + shout out to my tattoo artist

     

    Click here to view the 20 image digital self portrait set

    Click here to view the 22 image cell phone self portrait set

    Click here to watch the BTS self portrait timelapse video in another window

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  • Code to get into the virtual nude gathering for FREE

    Let’s hang out naked together in a non sexual context!

    You’ve probably already seen my post with more info about the gathering from this morning.

    If you’ve already applied for the nude gathering ticket + have been approved, you’ll be receiving an email with info on how to register.

    USE CODE ‘BLMBR’ DURING REGISTRATION TO GET IN FREE

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  • Goals Check In – Changing/Updating Them is OKAY!

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    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends, welcome to another week in Bunny Town. That’s really silly, okay. Hi. I don’t really have a super plan for what I want to share for the next couple of weeks. But I did want to check in with you about how your goals or not goals are going because I had talked a lot about goals last month. So I wanted to check in. I know, personally, I have met some of them that I’ve made and I’ve also not met some of them and I’m realizing, I think the anti planning stuff, like a combination of not planning and planning is probably going to help me out the most. Because when I have like, very rigid rules and structure of what I need to do, then that like takes away all of my motivation to do it. But when it’s like, here’s a buffet of fun things, you can do. Choose what you want to do and do something every day, that feels a lot better to me.

    So I may or may not actually get all the goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year. Just simply because I think I might have tried to do too many things at once. So, I wanted to check in about goals again with y’all. And tell you that I‘m not necessarily meeting all of mine but that’s okay. That’s kind of why we set them is to try to meet them. But also like just to have something to work towards feels better than just like aimlessly scrolling the internet.

    So I’ve been focusing a lot in January on this application for a residency, and I’m like super hoping and dreaming that I’m going to get it. It’s a dream come true to me. If I get it, I’m super hopeful, but if I do get it, I would be spending three weeks in Shenandoah National Park to create art and to offer public programs for Shenandoah National Park, which holy moly. I really would love that to happen so bad. Like dream. So my application is due by the end of the month. Right now I think today is the 25th of January. I’ll probably be sharing this mid-February. So, by the time you see this, I will have already submitted my application and I have my fingers crossed that I’m going to get it. But yeah, so as I was like, right now when I’m recording this it’s due in a few days and I’m pretty sure that I’ve mostly finished it to my satisfaction. I feel like it could be better, but I have spent a lot of hours on it already and I think if I keep tweaking it over and over again, I’m just going to be frustrating myself and maybe not necessarily actually making it any better. So I think I’m to the point where I’m almost ready to submit it.

    I keep touching my side because I have the last day of this saniderm on my fresh tattoo and it’s so itchy! Tattoo healing is fun.

    So yes. Instead of focusing on making a YouTube video this month, I’ve been focusing on working on this application for the Shenandoah residency which I think is a great thing to work on. And I think that if I have like a priority for each month and have that maybe be a little bit different every month, that might help me instead of like make a video for YouTube every month, make a short every week. Maybe instead of that have like January was focused on The Residency, maybe February, I’ll focus on something else, like the video for YouTube or making more Vlogs for y’all or putting myself out there and trying to get on podcasts and stuff like that. Like having like a theme or a focus for the month might help me. So I might be something that I’ll try instead of a really rigid like, do this every month kind of thing. So we’ll see how it goes. I think it’s important to be flexible and I’ve noticed that when I’m really rigid with myself it doesn’t go super well. Yeah, I’m gonna… I’m going to try to be more flexible and go with what makes the most sense and makes me happy and works for me and the things I’m trying to do in whatever time frame it is. Yeah. 

    So before I take the saniderm off, I’ll go ahead and show you all the newest section of my tattoo. I got it mid-January. So, it’s pretty itchy. It still has saniderm on it. So it’s like a clear sticker, but it’s pretty healed, but the Cardinal and these two branches above it are, what’s fresh. And I think it looks real awesome! I’m so happy! So, I’m eventually going to be a whole tree. But right now I’m half the tree. I’m like, done to my hip. We have a lot more to go, but I’m getting closer almost every month. Trying to think if there’s anything else I want to share with you before I go. I think it’s good to just check in about goals and let you know how I’m doing. And I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Yeah, leave a comment or email me. I would love to hear how things are going for you. If any of my Vlogs about goals or anti planning has helped you at all. I’d love to know. Have a great day! I love you! Bye! 

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  • New Self Portrait Set Experimenting with LEDs!

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    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hey friends! Today I actually have a photoshoot to share with you! I haven’t taken any self-portraits I think since the summer of last year. So summer of 2021, I think was the last time I took self-portraits, like, with my actual camera, on purpose that’s more than just like a whim of like, let me take a couple selfies with my cell phone. I’m not really counting those for what I’m talking about. Sorry. I’m itching, my tattoo. Well, the saniderm that’s on it right now.

    Okay, so have a photo shoot to share with you. I’m pretty excited it was the first time I played with these new lights that I got. They’re super fancy. They’re actually not but I think they’re fancy and I’m very excited about them. So I’ll tell you about the photoshoot that I did. I was feeling spicy and It was like 11:30 at night. So it was dark. Right now I’m using sunlight because my room is like, mostly windows. So it was much darker than this. It was dark outside. Because it was night time, like 11:30 at night and I have these new lights that I wanted to experiment with. So I was like, I feel like taking self portraits so why not use my new fancy lights?

    So I took these photos just a couple days ago, but I think I’ve actually going to share this video in a couple weeks. So by the time you see this I took them a couple weeks ago, but here we are. I’m really excited. I had fun taking them. I’m trying to think if there’s any other, like, backstory information I should tell you. I took them right here, as you will see, very soon, but I was just like on my bed for these. I redid my photo wall so there’s more space. I don’t have to worry about accidentally knocking one, because this one was lower before and I was always like accidentally touching it and like, making it like off balance. So I don’t have to worry about that as much now because I redid my photo wall. It’s nice and curved like this. I really like it.

    So I took the photos here and when I did, it was dark outside and I just used these two tiny LED lights. They’re tiny, aren’t they? They’re so cute. So these are called Litratorches. These are two different like generations of them. I think this one’s the newer one, but they’re super cool. I got them at a discounted price because they were used, at my favorite camera store, Biggs Camera in Charlotte. They’ve been locally owned since… it’s been over 60 years now, 60 or 65 years. I love them. I help out, like I used to work there full-time and I just kind of go in to help occasionally.

    But back to the story of these photos, before I get too distracted. These Litratorches are really cool. They’re LED they’re super bright. They have a little button on the top to turn them on. This one has a little like silicone protector case thing on it. I don’t know if you can see but yeah, so there’s a little button on top turn it on, that’s the only button on it. On the back of it there’s a place for you can turn like I think it’s a quarter twenty tripod screw on the back of both of them. 

    And then they have a magnet inside of them, so there’s something metal you can just like, like stick it onto a metal thing and it’ll stay there because it’s magnetic. I don’t have anything metal here to show you, but it works. That’s pretty cool. They’re really bright. They actually have two quarter twenty threads. So there’s one on the back and one on the bottom. So there’s two of them depending on how you want to mount it and what kind of like tripod or thing that you have to mount them on. If you want to mount them, I was lazy. I just have to. I just laid them on the bed, so you can’t see it in the screen right now, but I had one laid down on the bed over here and the other laid down on the bed over here. And one cool thing that I really like about these is you can get little tiny gels to go with them. So there are these things that come with it. It’s just like a little plastic Square. I love this tiny case. Look how tiny and cute! So tiny, so these are the gels. Some of them are not ones that originally came with it. Since this was used somebody had these other ones that are like really thin and not actually the ones that are supposed to be with it. But I kind of like the color of them because they’re like a really warm kind of orangey color and you can stack them to make them darker, but I can tell that they’re not the best material because some of them are a little melty from being like somebody using them on the Litratorch for too long, but these are the thicker ones. They’re like green, yellow, blue and red. I used a red one. And I think I used one of these like orangey ones for my colors. So it’s really easy. You have this little square thing and the light. And you put this in the little square and then you put this in front of the light, snap it on. Oh it’s not fitting hold on. And then you have a colored light, so I’m gonna turn it on. I’m gonna not point it at you. 

    That’s the lowest setting and it has a color filter on the front. So they’re pretty bright. I’m gonna make it brighter, brighter. And then as a flashing one, but I’m not going to do that in case somebody has a problem with flashing but you press and hold to turn it off and that’s it. It’s super easy. And super awesome. And you can put different colors on them and they’re really great and I love them. And I’m really excited and they’re really tiny so they’re easy to travel with, and you just like charge it with little like a little, like tiny USB cord kind of thing and it’s super great. I love them and I’m excited. They also like, if you can buy them with a little, a little diffuser to put on it, to diffuse the light if you wanted to like to make it real soft. I just I’m happy. This is a really good buy in my opinion.

    So this is the first time I was experimenting with these little lights and since I didn’t have them on like a tripod or anything and I just put them on the bed with me. The light was coming from below and pointing up towards me because I was like here and the lights were here and here, and in some of the images that looked cool. And in other images, I wish the light was higher up like this height like maybe my face height or maybe like chest height and I think the lighting would have been better if they were a little bit higher, but it was like midnight and I don’t want to figure out how to get a bunch of tripods and stuff over here to put the lights in a better place and I still really like the way the photos turned out. So, I think it was, I think it turned out really great. Even if I wasn’t 100% happy with the light for the whole set, I still think they look really cool. And I had fun making them. So that’s all that really matters. Right? I hope you like the photos. I hope you enjoy my little behind the scenes of what I did to make them. If you liked those that might do something like this again because this was kinda fun.

    I used to take behind the scenes video of my shoots and maybe I’m thinking, I might take some behind the scenes video next time because I kind of miss having that, and that’s a kind of nice thing to have to be able to look back at and actually watch a photoshoot happen. Yeah, that’s kind of fun. So I’m gonna try to remember to do that next time. It’s not always easy because I’ll need like my phone and my camera to do it. If I’m going to take photos and video same time. 

    Yeah, I hope you like these photos. I had fun making them. I felt spicy, can you tell? I was listening to good music too, and that helped me like get into the groove. So also I’m really proud of myself. I usually don’t even look at my photos for like a month after I take them. And then it takes me even longer to actually put them on SmugMug for y’all to see them. But in this case, I looked at them and uploaded them within like a week of taking them so I’m pretty proud of myself that I’m actually like staying ahead of the curve so don’t get behind. Yeah. I hope you like these photos and enjoy my little behind the scenes how I made them. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll see you soon! Bye!

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    Click here to view the entire 30 image photoset!


  • Code to get into the virtual nude gathering for FREE

    The virtual nude gathering is Saturday February 26th at 1pm eastern!

    Let’s hang out naked together in a non sexual context!

    You’ve probably already seen my post with more info about the gathering from this morning.

    If you’ve already applied for the nude gathering ticket + have been approved, you’ll be receiving an email with info on how to register.

    USE CODE ‘BLMBR’ DURING REGISTRATION TO GET IN FREE

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  • Coworking tomorrow!

    Join us live on zoom!
    Details + registration here

    Wednesdays at 10am EST
    (most, but not all)

    This will be the last reminder for coworking sessions here on my blog.

    If you’d like to receive email invites and reminders about live online events I’m facilitating, SIGN UP HERE.


    Since you’re a member, you get to join for FREE!
    Use code “BLMBR” for your free ticket(s)!

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  • Anti-Planning!?

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    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends! So this month I’ve been talking about goals and like setting goals and working toward goals and making goals and I’ve been talking about goals all month so far. And I just a couple days ago, took a mini workshop about anti-planning from Elizabeth Goddard, and it has me thinking maybe goal setting isn’t the best idea for me, always. So I want to acknowledge goal-setting is super great for a lot of people. It may or may not work for you or me or your friend or whoever and I wanted to give another perspective kind of based off of the information that I’ve already given you. So, I’ve already talked a lot about goals and like ways that you can set them and things like that, but I wanted to also talk about getting things done without having really rigid goals and plans.

    As you have already heard, I’ve set some goals for myself and I’m already starting to either not want to do them, or I’m just, like, feeling behind on them already and it’s not even February yet, or I’m just like, they feel like an obligation that’s not really fun. And I’m wondering why I want to do them. So let’s talk about anti-planning and doing things to work towards things we want to do, but in a less structured, you have to do it this way, this time, this place, kind of way. So let’s do it. 

    So Elizabeth Goddard, I don’t, I don’t think I’ve talked to y’all about her very much but she’s in the UK and she’s like a business online business, kind of person and she teaches some courses and stuff and she recently did this Christmas party thing where a lot of her students offered free resources and guides, and worksheets and courses and stuff to anybody that wants them for free. So I downloaded of those and Elizabeth Goddard‘s anti-planning workshop was part of that big bundle of things that we could get. So I did that. She had this option where you can listen to it like a podcast which is really helpful for me because I was able to do the whole thing while I was waiting three hours in line to get a covid test. So I was doing something while also doing something else. Um, so that was really helpful for me, but I wanted to talk a little bit about what Elizabeth said during that anti-planning workshop in this vlog post.

     

    Click here to learn more about Elizabeth Goddard

    I’m not going to go over everything. Obviously. I’m not Elizabeth Goddard. I’m just sharing some of the things that she shared. So first off acknowledging that goals and like rigid planning is not necessarily going to work perfectly for everyone. Everyone’s different. Some people work really well with goals and plans and some people really don’t. So, that is just the beauty and magic of being an individual human. Everybody has different needs and wants and desires, and ways that they go about doing everything in life.

    So, one of the things that Elizabeth shared in the workshop was making a decision about what you want and then figuring out ways that you can work towards that in small increments. So this kind of already like goals, but it’s kind of also not. So once you have a why of what you want to do that helps you have a reason to continue working towards whatever this thing is. You can set smaller goals, like maybe monthly goals or income goals, things like that, but you don’t necessarily have to. She talked about how she doesn’t necessarily make a plan for what she’s going to do any further out than like a month. But what she does do is she has several things that she wants to work toward on an every day, or like a weekly basis that she needs to do her business anyway, which is like growing her audience, nurturing her audience, and selling to her audience. Which that makes sense, right? Like that’s what most online businesses need to do. And for her it’s not necessarily about I have to do this thing, this day, this other thing, this other day, this thing that day, it’s more, like what actions can I do everyday to slowly work toward these things that I want? So growing nurturing and selling you can work toward that every day without having a specific checklist.

    Like she could be I think some of her examples were she would work on emails to her email list. She has Facebook groups that she is in a lot. So she communicates with her people there. Finding new ways to find other people. So, like reaching out to other entrepreneurs and seeing if she could be on like podcasts, things like that. So it’s not really like this huge list of all these things she has to do. It’s she knows the direction she wants to go in and every day she does a little bit in that direction.

    Another thing that she talked about was having like a word or a theme for the year to kind of keep you centered on what it is that you want to work on. So it could be like Focus or Community or Sharing like whatever you feel is important to you and your business right now. Like for me personally, I probably would say Sharing and Community for like if I were to think of a word or theme for the year, because I know that I kind of struggle with like I’ll make a lot of content, but I don’t actually share it anywhere or I’ll just put it behind a pay wall for members like y’all. So that means way less people get to see it, and I’m not really growing and kind of staying in the same place because I’m making things but I’m not really sharing them with anybody. So that would be for me. Like sharing would be a thing that I would like to work toward.

    She also talks about having core desired feelings. Like what do I want to feel this year? And how can I make a steps in that direction? Like I want to feel calm I want to feel happy, I want to feel like I’m helping people… so that can be another way to orient yourself towards what is important for me to work on right now.

    She also talks about making incremental upgrades instead of trying to do like one huge, massive project and a short amount of time. Try to just make one thing a little bit better today and then one thing a little bit better tomorrow or next week or whatever.

    She also talks about creating be do have lists. So things that you want to be, things that you want to do, and things that you want to have. And in that little course thing she was talking about how sometimes when she writes this be do have list, she doesn’t even necessarily have to like be going after all those things all the time, sometimes once she figures out what it is that she wants to be do and have they kind of find their way to her sometimes.

    So I think this is kind of a reiteration of the fact that we need time and space to like mull things over and like, not be doing doing doing all the time and to just kind of be and exist in order to make room for those things to happen or those changes to come to life or whatever.

    So I wanted to make sure that I shared some of this with you because I know that me personally I’m already kind of doubting that I’ll be able to do all of the like weekly and monthly things that I set out that I wanted to do just earlier this month. And just the fact that it’s been a couple weeks already and I’m already like am I really going to be able to make a short for YouTube every week? Do I really want to do that? And with the amount of time it’s taking me to edit this one video, I’m wondering if I’m actually going to be able to like, create a whole video for YouTube every month.

    So, here is me being an imperfect human. I have goals that I may or may not work towards that I have hopes for, but I also don’t want to pressure myself too much about doing them super consistently, because then that’s when I feel like bogged down and like I really don’t want to do it. When I have too many things on my plate, I don’t want to do any of the things. 

    Um, I wanted to tell you I’m an imperfect human, you’re an imperfect human and we all have things that we want to work on and whether or not we do that in a really structured way… as long as we’re doing something in the direction of where we want to go, whenever we can, that’s the best we can ask for, right? Just surviving 2020 and 2021 is a feat. Congratulations! You are still here! Good job! I’m proud of you, I’m proud of me! We are still here! So that means just like, yeah, everything… everything will be okay whether or not we’re super planning and goal oriented or not. Like we exist, we survived 2020 and 2021. We’re doing good.

    Okay. Yeah. Just wanted to share some anti-planning stuff with you since this whole month has been about goals. So just want to say hi. I love you. Thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you soon! *MWAH* Bye!

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