I originally wrote this for Patreon on November 18th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
Roarie Yum is an incredible model and I have been lucky enough to photograph them a few times. The last time they was in town Antisocialdisposition and I hired them for a couple of hours specifically to shoot double exposures over rolls of film I already shot of inspiring landscapes. We did a very similar shoot with Kyotocat last year, you can find it in the October 2016 archive.
I had a roll of film that part of it was shot when we were in Utah summer 2016 and the other part of the roll I shot in the NC mountains. The other roll I used was one I took in Shenandoah National Park this past July. I double exposed these rolls with Roarie and got magic! Some of them lined up in ways that I couldn’t have imagined, and that’s the magic of double exposures. I love the unexpected imperfect perfection that sometimes happens, if that makes any sense at all. Haha.
Our friend Scott let us use his studio and set up the lighting for us. He took the BTS photo below. AD and I took turns photographing Roarie and got a surprising number of rolls of film shot in just a couple of hours.
I really really love double exposures. I haven’t taken as many lately as I used to so it was really nice to finally get back to doing some.
I’ve added 3 bts videos from the shoot along with 42 bts photos for video tier patrons.
There’s also a timelapse video of me (nude) painting with my mom in the video gallery. I sent these paintings to 4 of the higher tier patrons, I hope you like them! <3
BTS photo taken by Scott!
All members have access to this complete 14 image photoset doubled with Shenandoah National Park by clicking here, the 10 image Utah & NC landscapes doubles by clicking here, the BTS photo & video by clicking here, and the nude painting with my mom by clicking here.
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 24th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
The new moon supermoon in Cancer is today/tomorrow and oh gosh its bringing about a lot of change for me. It’s both scary and exciting, and I’m ready for it. I don’t think I’ve told you much about my “real” life outside of photography and modeling and want to share some of it with you. Since art doesn’t currently pay the bills and antisocialdisposition is a full time electrical engineering student, it has been essential for me to have a steady income. I’ve been working full time at a major healthcare system for nearly 5 years to support myself and my husband until he finishes his degree.
Well, working in healthcare kinda started killing my soul a little. Slowly.
The first 3 years I was working the front desk at a family practice. I loved my work family, (most of) our patients were so sweet, and the benefits were amazing.
The 4th year I was promoted to the referral coordinator position which was great because it was over a dollar more an hour, but I had to do the work of 2 people. That’s when things started to change for me, I started to not really enjoy coming to work every day like I used to. I was tasked with the job of cleaning up the mess that was made before I was promoted. Trying to condense as much of the story as possible, essentially there was nobody doing referrals for 2 offices for a couple of months before I started, and I had to not only essentially teach myself referrals, I had to catch up with the backlog AND work on the new referrals being added every day. It is so disheartening to know that you’re not doing the best job you could be doing because you have SO MUCH work to do it’s not possible to do it all right. I am not the kind of person that does things half-heartedly. If I do something I want to do it 100%.
I was a referral coordinator for 1 year. In that year I taught myself how to do referrals, I cleaned up the backlog (over 500 referrals between the 2 offices down to about 40 which is doable in a couple of days), and I created cheat sheets for other referral coordinators to use to help them with their work. I felt trapped, underappreciated, and underpaid. That’s why I was fine with moving over an hour away from work. It was a good excuse to look for a job closer to home.
I wanted and got a job in the billing department for the same healthcare system that was about 20 minutes away from our new place. It was NOT the job for me. It’s an extremely monotonous job: printing out EOBs and entering them into the computer. all. day. long. I was there for about 5 months.
Today was my last day working in healthcare. I put my notice in a couple weeks ago after stressing and crying and thinking so much about it. I feel so much better already to not be in a field that I have a lot of problems with. The healthcare system in our country is dismal, and I know first hand how terrible it can be for both patients and those who take care of them. Healthcare needs an overhaul but I wouldn’t even know where to start.
I will be unemployed for 2 weeks, and on July 10th I start my new full time job at the only camera store in town that still develops black and white film in-house. I am so much happier with the direction of my life already and I haven’t even started my new job yet. Obviously photography and modeling are what I’m passionate about and I am so excited for it to be what sustains me monetarily! I am going to learn so much working there and my new knowledge will only enhance the quality of my art. I am so looking forward to it!!! Change can be so so good.
I create as much as I can whenever I can, and your support here on patreon has allowed me to allocate more time to creating than I would be able to otherwise. One day with your help I aspire to support myself full time from my art income. I yearn to travel all over the country to find the most beautiful places and photograph the nude there. My goal for after AD finishes his degree: buy a giant work van, custom build it into a mini home, and create in every national and state park I can find. And you know I’ll be sharing it all here with you. <3
(EDIT 2020: My dreams all came true last year!!! I became full time self employed (via THIS WEBSITE RIGHT HERE, because of the support of members!) in April 2019, and lived out of my minivan for 69 days during a cross country road trip last summer!)
I am so excited to share these sets with you! This is the film from our member-sponsored (thank you!!! <3 ) mountain trip last month! I really love how these came out, the locations were so beautiful.
Go explore the videos folder, I’ve just added 9 bts videos from between shooting these sets. You can really see how beautiful these locations are. There’s a video of me collecting water from the waterfall…. I almost slipped and fell in! Haha
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I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 28 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
Let’s talk about mantras and positive affirmations this week! As a recap, here are the definitions:
Merriam-Webster’s definition of mantra: a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating // a word or phrase that is repeated often or that expresses someone’s basic beliefs
Merriam-Webster’s definition of affirmation: a solemn and often public declaration of the truth or existence of something
I’ll start with mantras, which have been around for thousands of years (since the Vedic period, 1500-500 BC). There are many ancient mantras in Sanskrit, some of which call upon Hindu deities, and all of which assist in awareness, mindfulness, intention, and raising your level of consciousness. Chanting mantras over and over allows your mind to become quiet and focus solely on the sounds and vibrations of the mantra. Once your mind isn’t thinking you’re able to feel the space where the mind is silent, allowing you to connect to your true inner self.
The most well-known mantra is “Om” (said like aum or ohm), which represents everything, the entire universe. It is believed to be the first sound the universe made when it was created, the original vibration. Chanting Om while meditating alters your consciousness and allows you to transcend to a higher state.
Another well-known mantra is “Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha” which translates roughly to “Invocation to Ganesh, who is the remover of obstacles, who guards the doorway to the enlightened realms. His blessings are essential for good beginnings.” or more simply “The devotee bows/offers salutations to Ganesh/the Lord of the World.” This mantra calls upon Lord Ganesh, who is best known as the “breaker of obstacles.” This mantra assists in releasing blocked energy in your physical, mental, and emotional bodies.
“Om Namah Shivaya” is another Sanskrit mantra which is interpreted as bowing or honoring your true highest self.
Positive affirmations are very similar to mantras but are actually quite different. They were developed by neuroscientists in the 1970’s as a type of neuro-linguistic programming. People repeat positive affirmations in order to change their perception of their circumstances and the way they feel about themselves. Increasing positive thoughts and decreasing negative ones allows you to achieve success and happiness. For instance, someone who is very anxious and timid can say positive affirmations such as “I am brave, I am strong, and confidence comes naturally to me” to re-wire their brain to allow them to become brave, strong, and confident. Have you heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy or the law of attraction? Our beliefs influence our actions, so if you repeat to yourself every day that you are happy, creative, and loved, then you will become happy, creative, and loved!
Some of the positive affirmations I say every day are:
I am joyous in all that I do
I laugh every day
I am motivated and work toward my goals every day
I spend quality time with quality people
I spend quality time with myself
I am strong of mind, body, and spirit
I make time for yoga every day
I am a money magnet and I attract wealth and abundance
I am a world traveler
I nourish my body with healthy food
I let go of that which no longer serves me
I make room for growth and change
I am receptive to messages from the universe
I learn something new every day
Positive affirmations can be whatever you want or need in your life, just make sure it is positive and in the current tense. For instance, if you hate your job, don’t say “I hate my job so I’m finding a new one,” say “I’m attracting the perfect job for me.”
Do you use mantras and/or positive affirmations? Do you want to? I’d love to hear about it!
I saw these sunflowers at the store the other day and HAD to get them, sunflowers are my absolute favorite! The cats were interested in them too, look for a bunch cat-photobombed photos. I have a couple of sets by myself with the sunflowers that I’ll post soon. First I want to show you the self portraits that I took with Marianna Lane!
Antisocialdisposition is wonderful and sometimes takes the time to model with me even when he’s swamped with electrical engineering schoolwork. There are totally butt grabs, giggles, and kisses happening in this set.
I originally wrote this for Patreon on December 18th 2016. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
I have been reading a book that I found in Marie Laveau’s house of Voodoo while we were in New Orleans: Circle of Eight by Jane Meredith. It’s about creating rituals and magic based on your relationship with the land. It has me thinking a lot about rituals that I want to begin and magic that I want to create. It definitely inspired this self portrait set I’m sharing today.
Everything has been so up in the air and unfinished and scattered since we moved. I’m looking forward to the time when we are completely unpacked and settled and can really start getting into a routine again. A priority for me (after making art for y’all of course) is to learn much more about magic and energy and all things metaphysical.
Antisocialdisposition had a few shots left in his camera so we set up a shoot to finish off the roll involving a circle of eight with some of my skulls and larger quartz crystals. I’ll be sharing his photos as a bonus for everyone (a public post!) in a few days. I took the opportunity to shoot a large self portrait set in the circle after our shoot to share with you. I’ll be incorporating this kind of imagery/props/theme in future sets. More crystals and bones, some of my favorite things! Yay!
What are your thoughts about incorporating metaphysical imagery? Let me know in the comments!
Antisocialdisposition‘s 35mm photos: