Magnolia with Celeste Call

All of the images I created with Celeste Call were taken in the span of a few hours, and this is the last set I have left to share with you from that wonderfully fun and creative day. Click here to see the other photoset she took of me, and click here to see the photoset I took of her!

CURRENTLY: I’ve been feeling off lately. One day I’ll feel totally fine, and another I’ll feel sad, purposeless, anxious, and irritable. Right now I think I’m in a weird in-between space, where I’m still doing most of the work-type things that I’ve been doing for years, but it doesn’t feel quite the same, or hold the same weight that it once did. I feel like there’s something more, something different that I’m supposed to be doing but I don’t quite know what that something is.

I’ve been making videos a bit more recently, but so far I’ve just saved them to my hard drive and then not touched them. The thought of editing hours of videos is overwhelming to me right now, and I still have some self portrait sets from last summer to go through and upload, though that doesn’t feel as scary as it did a few months ago. I tend to put off the computer work/organizing/editing part of my job more than anything else, because it stresses me out and it feels so big and is my least favorite part of being a photographer and content creator. The problem with putting it off, is that it gets bigger and there’s more to do the longer I put it off. I go through spurts of inspired and determined action, where I’ll spend an entire day editing photos or videos, and then not touch anything again for weeks. I get a LOT done on those days, but I don’t want to make myself feel like anytime I edit etc I have to spend an entire day on it. I can allow myself to just do one thing at a time, one day at a time. Things still get done, whether I do 15 photosets in a day or just 1. Just doing 1 is probably kinder to myself, and my eyes after staring at a screen so long.

I really enjoy creating, I just want to be able to hire someone to help me with the admin side of things. That would be so incredibly nice, and also give me more time to create instead of stare at a computer screen. That day will come, I know it will.

For now, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing and let myself figure it all out along the way.

Photo members: click here to view the full photoset of me taken by Celeste Call
Video members: click here to view the BTS video & click here to view the February nude yoga video
First Look members: click here to view the self portrait set from Colorado National Monument during my cross country road trip last summer & click here to view another self portrait set also from CNM