CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:

Hi friends! Today is Thursday again, so I’ll talk about the photoset that’s coming out this weekend first. I wanted to come out here where it’s shady. So this weekend I’m sharing a photoset that I took a year or two ago of Amanda Jane who doesn’t, well, she does have social media but she wants to be anonymous, or kinda anonymous. She is actually the partner of my exes brother who I photographed her in Florida, if you’ve been a patron for a while you’ve seen the pregnancy photos I took of her in Florida, some of them were in the ocean in the water it was awesome. She had that baby and then she got pregnant again and I’ve photographed her while she was pregnant for both of her pregnancies. This one that I’m sharing with you this time were images that I took of her in my back yard (here!) during her second pregnancy, so I’m excited to share those with you, I think they’re really awesome. I believe I have Instax AND film to share with you so look forward to that!

What else do I want to talk about? Um… so much has been going on in the world. CONTENT WARNING: I’m going to be talking about racism and violence from the police so if you don’t want to hear about that you can skip through. When I’m done talking about that I’ll wave my hands a bunch so you can skip to find that, how about that? So when you see me doing this then I’m done, it’s the end of the trigger warning.

So what’s going on this country right now is FUCKED UP and it’s been going on for 400 years basically and its seemingly just now coming to the surface for most white people who are actually finally realizing this is happening sadly because we’ve all been gaslit and lied to basically our whole lives, and we’ve been taught and had propaganda shoved down our throats about how cops are good and how everyone is equal, which both of those are lies. I have been really mad a lot lately and it’s totally justified and yeah rage is valid and I’m going to say it could definitely be healing, especially for Black people. If they can let their emotions out then that is excellent because they deserve to be able to have all of their emotions even if they’re hard for us white people to witness or understand. It’s our duty as white people with fuck tons of privilege to let Black people have all the feels that they fucking want to have. Period. So yeah I’m totally FOR everything that Black people are doing to have their voices heard. If you’re a white person and you’re talking about how looting shouldn’t happen and violence and fires and stuff shouldn’t happen, you can either google why that is totally wrong and why all of these things are valid and worthy expressions of emotion and if you have a problem understanding that then please send me a message and I can send you some resources because you should not be reaching out to Black people for that because they already have enough on their fucking plate than having a white person coming into their emails or DMs and asking for education. It is not their job to do emotional labor for free for a fucking white person. So as a white person, I am taking on some of that emotional labor, if you really need some resources about how everything that’s happening right now needs to happen, then reach out to me and I can send you some info. You don’t even really need to reach out to me, you can just go on my instagram and look at my protest highlights, there’s a fuck ton of information, I have 2 highlights now because I filled up the first highlight. And also in my instagram bio I have a link to a lot of resources for things that you can do to help with this cause. I know that police violence and racism is something that’s really big for a lot of people to talk about right now because that’s what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean that this is the only time that its happened and it doesn’t mean that right now is the time to talk about it and then next week we’re going to forget about it. This has to be an ongoing conversation until police are abolished and the fucking militarization of our country in general is taken down and ended. My personal view which I think a lot of people would agree with me is that we need to completely abolish police and all military, period. All it does is further separates us and further traumatizes us and hurts everyone and if instead of spending all the money on military and police, if we spent that money on healthcare, mental health, trauma resolution, trauma healing, food banks, housing (especially for Black people), if we took all of the money from military and police and put it towards our communities, we wouldn’t need the police anyway. They just continue and provoke and incite violence. I have a lot of feelings about this and if you have different feelings from me please don’t try to convince me otherwise because I can’t be convinced, because I know that especially Black people deserve way fucking better than this and we need to start working in that direction. Also reparations need to happen. Just because you personally didn’t own slaves doesn’t mean that your ancestors didn’t. As a white person it’s our responsibility to dismantle racism, it’s not Black people’s responsibility. They are the victims of racism, it’s not their responsibility to do anything about it, they just need to survive and take care of themselves, and do whatever the fuck they want to do. Period.

END OF CONTENT WARNING if anyone was fast forwarding you can come back to me, I’m going to talk about different things now.

This weekend I’m going to be offline Friday Saturday and Sunday, so that’s starting tomorrow. I planned this a couple weeks ago where I’m going to be doing an at home retreat and self care. I’ve been doing a bunch of things up to now in terms of helping people and giving information to people about the things I was just talking about. And also doing actionable things myself but I don’t want to say exactly what I’ve been doing because it’s important to not give evidence to the cops haha. This weekend is kindof an emotionally big weekend for me. There’s an important date this weekend that I wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself around. Also on Friday there’s a fucking um… (it will have been yesterday by the time you watch this, bc today is Thursday but when I post this it will be Saturday) so yesterday, Friday, was a full moon and an eclipse and if you haven’t already noticed it in your own life, full moons, even without eclipses, full moons like turbo-charge our emotions and eclipses intensify that even more. So I wanted to definitely make sure I was taking care of myself, also because the moon is in Sagittarius, which is my sun and moon, the moon is in Sagittarius during the eclipse on Friday so that felt personal to me. And just with everything going on and I’ve been really stressed out and feeling all kinds of feelings so I know that I really need to take care of myself. So I won’t be available this weekend at all. I probably won’t even be on my phone or on Instagram or anything, I plan on spending a lot of time outside and moving my body and taking baths and doing ritual stuff and whatever the fuck I feel like doing. So if you need to reach out to me, expect for me to answer next week.

So… yeah. In terms of what I already had planned for my photosets and video releases here on my website, this weekend was the last one that I had planned, but I do have a lot more content to share I just haven’t planned out what I’m sharing when, so I know I still probably have at least a month’s worth of content to share with you. Once I get through all that content, I still haven’t taken any new photosets, once I finish that, I know I’m going to continue doing videos and probably photos at some point, I just don’t know when. So the way that I have my website will probably shift a little bit more again. I’m thinking about doing a pay as you can membership and just having all of the members, except for the All Access members who get a monthly one on one hour long video chat with me as part of their membership, with the exception of those, all of the other memberships are going to have all of the same content and it’s just pay what you can. So that way it’s more accessible for more people at different price points and then you can just pay literally what you can. Any amount will help me because any amount is better than nothing because this is literally my whole livelihood. I’m thinking of doing that and once I go through all the content I have backlogged I’ll still continue to make videos but I might not have as much in terms of quantity of content that I share every week, that might shift, BUT I have over 11,000 photos and over 2,000 videos that are already in my archives. Especially if you’re a new member you probably haven’t seen it all, I have a FUCK TON of content. I don’t think that there will be any lowering of quality in terms of memberships, there just won’t be as frequent of new updates, because literally I already have a fuck ton of content already on here and its definitely worth the membership cost to have unlimited access to it every month. So I don’t exactly have all of it figured out and planned out yet, it’s just what I’ve been thinking about doing because accessibility is important to me and because I think people…. hi fly, there’s a fly flying around me right now. I think the people who are able to afford the higher memberships, that’s wonderful and I super appreciate that, and I think that your higher membership cost is what’s going to allow people at lower membership prices still be able to have access to my content. So for anyone who is considering any membership, I appreciate you, and the people who don’t have the ability to pay as much as you, probably appreciate it too that your higher priced membership allows them to have a lower priced membership, so thank you for that.

I think that’s all I have to say right now, my hand is getting tired from holding this, it’s hot out here and I have a lot of other computer work to do, plus this is a really long video already, it’s almost 15 minutes, I usually do 10 or less. I just wanted to say I love you and thank you so much for being here, and I appreciate you and I literally couldn’t do this without you. Literally, you’re the reason I can pay my rent and buy myself food. So… I don’t know what’s in store for the future, but I know that I’m always going to be doing my best and I’m always going to be creating something, whether I’m taking a really long break from creating or not, that doesn’t mean I’m done creating forever, that just means I need a break because I burnt myself our this summer. Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, I’ll talk to you next week.

If you haven’t joined in on the members only video chat with me on Thursdays yet, I’m inviting you to come join us! It’s really fun, there’s usually a handful of us there, we sometimes talk about a certain topic, sometimes we just chit chat about our days, sometimes I do things, sometimes we’re just hanging out, it’s always different. It’s been really fun, it’s every Thursday at 6pm eastern, I would love to have you join me! I always post a post with the link usually within about 15 minutes of the start of the chat so if you’d like to join us please do! I love you so much! Bye!

Video members:
click here to view the full film photoset of Amanda Jane during her second pregnancy
click here to view the full Instax photoset of Amanda Jane
click here to view the body awareness meditation at sunset in Goblin Valley

First Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset of sunset near Canyonlands
click here to view the self portrait photoset of sunset on the edge near Canyonlands
click here to view the BTS video

Click here for the gallery passwords