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Sexualization + Consent
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello, lovely people! Okay, in my last video, I talked about how nudity is not sexual. It’s not inherently sexual, its sexual if you make it sexual based on context and consent. So in this video, I’m going to talk about sexualization and consent, because as someone who’s naked on the internet, I get a lot of unwanted sexual attention from people specifically cishet men. *cough* Who like, I don’t know why but they just… because I’m me having like my bare breasts or my bare ass on the internet does not mean I want your sexual attention. That just means I have naked pictures on the internet. That’s all that means.
I have been sexualized without my consent more times than I can count. Honestly, it was worse when I was on social media because I would get unsolicited dick pics or like masturbation videos from people that I had no idea who the fuck they were. Those are extremely uncomfortable to receive. If you are somebody who thinks that’s a good idea, it’s not. That’s only a good idea if the other person literally asks you for it. That’s the only time it’s a good idea to send a dick pic or masturbation video. I promise you. Nobody wants to see it unless they are literally asking you for it. Okay, If I don’t want to be like “AHHHHH” this whole time but I might.
So I know that there are some people who will sexualize me, just because I’m naked, because that’s the only way that they understand nudity. And I’d while I don’t agree with that because nudity is not inherently sexual. I understand that to a degree because our society, especially here in the United States. Our society is so like puritanical and it hides nudity from us unless they’re trying to sell us something and then they give us a lot of nudity and a lot of like tits and ass just to be like “here buy this thing”. So like the context around nudity in general, in our culture in the United States is really dysfunctional. So I know that there are people who are going to sexualize me just because I am naked on the internet. I don’t have any control over that. And people can do what they want to do with their own free time in their own private space. Like I… whatever their life is their life.
Whenever they bring that sexual energy and that sexual attention into my like conscious awareness and whenever they like, push that into my, like, bubble of like my life, that’s when we have a problem because that is not consensual. I do not consent to being sexualized. If you do it and never tell me about it and like never mention it and, like, it’s not a thing that I’m aware of like whatever.
But as soon as you’re like, “yeah I masturbated to your video last night” or “oh my god, you’re so hot. I want to fuck you.” If you like send me a DM or something like that, that is… you do not have my consent to do that. That is a breach of my consent. I… no. I don’t consent to any of that. That’s when we have a problem. When you’re sexualizing me to my face or virtually to my face. You don’t have my consent to do that. I… no, I don’t tolerate. Yeah, that’s that’s when we have a problem, a big problem.
I do not consent to being sexualized. I don’t. If I wanted to be sexualized by someone, I would actually tell them. I’m a very communicative person in that regard. And if I wanted to have like a sexual situation with someone, then I would make that very clear. So, if I have not, which I probably haven’t with most people, yeah, I… you don’t have my consent.
Yeah, I don’t want to be like “I’m really angry and I’m bitching at the internet about it” for this whole video, but that’s kind of what it is and… it’s come to that. I don’t have much patience for this kind of shit anymore. I’ve been naked on the internet since 2010 and I have gotten a fuck ton of attention that I did not want because it was sexual. And I’m done doing that. So if you come at me in a sexual way, and I don’t even fucking know you, you better bet your ass that I’m going to block you. You don’t have my consent. You’re breaking consent. Your breaching consent. It’s non-consensual, so that’s what you’re choosing to do. So then I’m choosing to get you out of my space. Because that’s my choice.
I hope some people can relate to this. I know I have a lot of friends in the, like photography, nude modeling world, that would relate to this. But I don’t know if the average usual person would relate to this. But yeah, if you didn’t get anything else out of this video, I hope that you at least get this message that I’m saying: if you are sexualizing me, you don’t have my consent to do that. So it’s only okay to do that if you do it, when I have no fucking idea it’s happening. In your own space on your own time. Not involving me at all. I do not consent to being sexualized. Nope. I don’t. No. I don’t want to be a part of your sexual fantasy. Yes. I’m naked. That has nothing to do with sex. See my other video if you’re confused.
Watch my video: nudity is not inherently sexual
I don’t consent to being sexualized. So don’t do it and especially don’t do it and bring my attention to it. I don’t want to fucking know, that’s none of my business. And my sexuality is not your business. I’m naked. Yes, but that has nothing to do with sex. Okay, the end.
Yeah. Okay. I hope this video wasn’t too harsh for you. Maybe I did need to push some buttons. Maybe I did need to be harsh to get my point across but I yeah, I’m just fucking tired of getting unsolicited dick pics and unsolicited sexual attention. None of those are consensual. So yeah. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Okay, if you have any information about things that you would like to see me share, I’m going to put a survey below and you can let me know what you want to see for me. Otherwise, thank you for being here on my website. I love you so much. I might sound angry from earlier. But yeah, I’ve allowed to be angry. I’ve been… my consent has been breached a lot of times. So it’s about time for me to be upset about it. Okay. I love you. I hope every great day and I’ll talk to you soon!
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Non monogamous stereotypes + assumptions
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Ecosexual memes!!
I was sharing memes on instagram that included nude images but deleted them all when ig did their most recent update to the terms of service because I was scared of getting my account deleted AGAIN. My original account with 22.6k followers got deleted in October 2018 and I never got it back, so I really would like that to NOT happen again.
I still love the memes that I made and want to share them, so here are some of the ones that I used to have on my ig before I deleted them!
Original caption:
I first heard about ecosexuality through Charles Eisenstein’s essay “The Ecosexual Awakening” and ever since then my life has changed. I now see my entire life through an ecosexual lens. I truly believe that ecosexuality can assist in healing our society and our world.
I personally avoid saying “mother Earth” because mothers are (unfortunately, thanks to patriarchy) frequently exploited. It’s assumed that mothers are required to do all or most of the housework, cooking, childcare, etc and their work usually is unpaid and unappreciated. I have no intention of doing this to my actual mother or to the Earth.
My relationship to the Earth is one of reverence, worship, wonder, and love. I view the Earth as a best friend, teacher, partner, and lover. I strive to live my life in loving relationship to the Earth and receive such immense pleasure from simply being with and spending time with the Earth.
The Earth is sacred. We must treat it as sacred.
Photo, model + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah during my 2019 cross country road trip)
Original caption:
I personally use both ecosexual and demisexual as my primary sexual and romantic identities. Ecodemisexual maybe? Can I make that a thing? I think I will! It’s my own label so I am able to use what works best for ME.
If you consider yourself an ecosexual, you’re able to use that label in the way that works best for you. Anyone who says you SHOULD or HAVE TO use a label doesn’t have the right to do that, only you get to decide what label(s) work(s) best for you. The label(s) you use may or may not change over time, and that’s okay! Only you know what label(s) describe you best. How you identify is up to you, not anyone else.
Do you consider yourself an ecosexual? I have a feeling that more people probably are than they realize, simply because most people aren’t aware of what ecosexuality is. The understanding of labels makes it easier for us to know which ones are right for us.
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Ecosexuality as an identity/label covers a broad range of experiences and in my opinion can be used to describe many different things about someone. For example: sexual attraction to others (including the Earth) while also covering a range of sexual desires (from asexual to allosexual), the importance of ecological health and healing to an individual, and their understanding of the interconnectedness of all beings, creatures, ecosystems, and life on Earth.
For me, as an agender trans person, most sexuality labels didn’t feel like they fit me because of the gender component of a lot of LGBTQIA+ labels, some are too narrow and some are too broad. It took me a long time to find a label that fit me, that felt GOOD to use and felt TRUE to my lived experience. Ecosexuality allows me to explain my attraction to others in a way that includes the nuance of my gender, my demisexuality, and my passion and love for the Earth.
To be specific, I am ecodemi, and for me that means I am attracted to people of many gender expressions, and it’s the connection and interaction that I have with them, and the way they show up in the world, that determines my attraction to them.
Your specific definition of your ecosexuality may be similar to mine, or it may be completely different. That’s the beauty and magic of ecosexuality, as long as it includes the Earth as a lover, it can mean something different for each of us.
What’s your flavor of ecosexuality? Comment below, I’d love to hear your perspective/experience!
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Have you ever seen a flower dripping with dew on a spring morning and marveled at its beauty and eroticism, feeling the urge to put your mouth on its delicate petals?
Have you ever felt your body come alive after jumping naked into a river, flushed with excitement and pleasure?
Have you ever become aroused while surrounded by a forest of tall thick trees, their presence changing something deep inside of you?
Do you yearn for the warmth of the sun’s rays on your skin, the cool squish of mud between your toes, the gentle breeze softly reminding you that we all exist on an Earth that offers infinite sensual pleasures?If you feel a connection to any of those questions, or a longing for these sensual experiences, you might be an ecosexual.
What is your favorite way to connect to the erotic, sensual Earth?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
I want to talk about two topics that honestly deserve their own individual posts: sex and consent.
Let’s rethink our definition of what sex is. In this cisheteropatriarchal society, we are conditioned to believe that sex is P in V penetration. This definition excludes many people from the sex conversation, including but not limited to queer and disabled folks.
I invite us to redefine sex as any consensual, meaningful, pleasurable experience. This gives ALL of us room to define what sex is to us, individually. This means that a lot of us are probably having sex much more than we ever thought we were before.
Notice that this definition of sex includes CONSENT? This is extremely important, because if you don’t have consent, then it’s not sex, it’s rape.
Consent in relationship to the Earth is just as important as consent with people. It is possible to communicate with and receive consent from the Earth, it just doesn’t include the language that we are used to (verbal consent). Consent from the Earth may come in the form of an energetic pull or a felt sense knowing. It may come in the form of a dream or a whisper in the wind. It may come in the form of a being joining you in meditation to give you a message or a sign.
Consent with the Earth isn’t always as straightforward as consent with people. We have to listen harder, feel deeper, and trust that the Earth will share their message with us when they are ready. We must not rush, or push, or pry, or force. We must be quiet, and open to receive.
Have you received consent from the Earth? What was that experience like for you?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
If we have learned one thing from this pandemic, it’s that we are ALL interconnected. This doesn’t only involve the interconnectedness of people, but also our connection to animals, plants, insects, bacteria, forests, oceans, deserts, rivers. We all exist together on this planet, we are all connected, and we all influence each other whether we realize it or not.
Part of my personal ecosexuality is recognizing the impact of colonization, cisheteropatriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, racism, ageism, ableism (…all the -isms). Recognizing that these systems of oppression exist and impact each other and every one of us (including the Earth). As beings existing on this planet at this time we are all a part of these systems, whether we realize it or not, whether we see the direct impact we make or not.
This also means that we each individually have the potential to make POSITIVE CHANGE in ourselves and our communities, which in turn impacts the rest of the planet. Every action and every inaction adds up for each and every one of us.
Imagine what the world would be like if we all collectively chose to live in right relationship with the Earth and each other. If we all actively put in the work to decolonize societies and the planet. If we all live from a heart-centered place, with healthy boundaries and an understanding of how powerful we are. If we all live our lives from a place of love, compassion, generosity, and empathy instead of from a place of fear and separation. This is the world I want to live in.
When did you first realize how connected you are to the rest of the world?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
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New Video: Ecosexuality & Sex
This is the 3rd of my 9 part ecosexual exploration series that I will be doing via Youtube livestream every Monday throughout June and July! I describe how sex fits into ecosexuality and how redefining what sex is opens us up to the potential of many new sexual experiences.
Schedule for livestreams: bunnyluna.com/schedule
Book a one on one video chat with me: bunnyluna.com/offerings
Become a member to receive instant access to my massive photo & video archives: bunnyluna.com/memberships