• 2022 Recap!

    January 9, 2023 /

    I did a 2021 recap last year and was really encouraged by it, so I’m doing another one this year! I have issues with object permanence and it’s easy for me to feel like I’ve done NOTHING, so looking back and writing up the major things that happened and the things that I accomplished is really helpful for me to realize that I did, in fact, DO THINGS!

    I created this to help myself realize that I am accomplishing things all the time even though I feel like I haven’t. I did NOT create this to make you feel like you need to compete with me or for you to compare yourself to me. The last thing I want is to make someone else feel bad about themself. Everyone’s life and journey is different, and we are ALL VALID whether or not we accomplished ANYTHING AT ALL. ♥

    This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to make a purchase using my link (at no extra cost to you!). I only recommend things I have personally used + love!

    • Journaled every day (I started this Jan 20th 2020 – almost on year 3!)
    • Energy practices (almost) every day
    • Took many walks outside + at parks
    • Spent time w friends
    • 8 tattoo appointments – so much closer to being done with this massive project!
    • Went to Floyd Yoga Jam
    • Visited a friend in Boone
    • Got covid in August for the first (and hopefully only) time
    • Visited AD in DC x2
    • Solo van camping trip to Shenandoah
    • Solo van camping in Hocking Hills
    • Got STI tested in Feb, May, + Dec
    • Went to an Art Walk in my hometown
    • Went to friends + familys bday parties
    • Went to a family reunion in VA for my dad’s side of the family
    • Got a new passport with my name change and X gender marker!
    • Volunteered at the VAPA Center
    • Dyed my pubic hair blue x2
    • Spent over $2500 on van repairs (oil changes, inspection, window motor, fuel line, tires…)
    • Mountain trip with Abe at airbnb +  mushroom experience
    • 3x mushroom trips + microdosed several times
    • Helped set up and break down Sol Harmony Fest, my first time seeing behind the scenes of how a festival comes to life!
    • Housesit for my aunt while she’s out of town x2
    • Asheville trip w Abe (surprise trip that last minute changed but was still super fun)
    • Mountainpalooza with 15 of my high school friends! (year 4 and counting!)
    • Stayed w Granny for a week to help her out after she was in the hospital w pneumonia
    • Hosted a model + her partner, first time hosting in several years – since 2017/18?
    • Van camped w friends 5 different times
    • First group van camping experience! 13 people and 4 dogs in a mountain forest
    • Went to 2 bonfires with friends
    • Abe and I made a Duct Tape Dummy of myself

    Let me know what you’d like to see from me in 2023 by responding to my survey!

    • AD tied + suspended me for the first time in years, my first suspension since my rope injury in 2016, first time at The Crucible
    • Got back into the local kink scene + started going to play parties
    • Got myself a doggie crate for my bedroom, for claustrophilia reasons, also for putting myself in time out reasons, and kink reasons lol
    • Did my first self suspension in rope
    • Went to PUSH – a fetish party in Durham
    • Went to 4 kink parties
    • Went to 5 rope labs
    • Had 3 rope mentoring sessions (so far)

    I was only able to accomplish these things because of the support from members of my patreon, thank you so much!

    • Anti-planning Workshop w Elizabeth Goddard
    • Yoni Massage Workshop w Lior Allay
    • Nude Yoga (virtual) w Lior Allay
    • Feelings 101 w Dawn Serra
    • Advanced Master Program on the Treatment of Trauma from NICABM (5 part master class)
    • How to Build Your Business Without Social Media w Becca Tracey
    • Thai Massage Workshop w Ann Marie
    • Balls + Yoga w Ann Marie
    • Glow Yoga w Meridith Young
    • Laughter Yoga w Carolyn Keller Sells
    • Plant ID Walk – Know Your Weeds w I-TAL Acres
    • Psychedelic Breathwork w Monica McGee + Kendall Selfe
    • Ecstatic Dance w Katie Wells + Beatfarm3r
    • Howdy! Partner Yoga w Shawn + Marie Nuthall
    • Energy Medicine Yoga w Nicole Lafon
    • Nature Walk – Plants, Food, + Fire w Johnny Stowe
    • Defying Gravity: Acroyoga FUNdamentals w Kaelyn Rogers
    • Intuitive Movement w Claire Nagy-Kato
    • Teas Tonics + Tinctures w Willow Luna (my mom!)
    • Psychedelic Integration w Anjali Valea
    • Chakti Yoga w Lauren Nixon
    • Rhythm + Flow Yoga w Amber + Jimi Nedoff
    • Learned a suspendable futomomo and uplines (thanks AD)
    • Found a local rope mentor + started recurring meetings to learn rope bondage
    • Aftercare is a “bad word” w Zir Oya aka @mount.saintoya via Shibari Study
    • Rope Has an Image Problem w Christian Red via Shibari Study

    Check out the organized list of HUNDREDS of books I want to read!

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  • Wanna Interview Me?

    July 2, 2022 /

    Click here to watch the video in another window (now captioned on the video!!!)

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hello, I’m Bunny. You probably already know me if you’re on my website. But today, I wanted to talk about if you wanted to interview me. I’m really enjoying doing interviews for podcasts and YouTube channels and I just thought I would invite more people to do that with me some more!

    I have over… let’s see. What is it? 12 years? Yeah. Over 12 years of experience with photography and modeling, self-portraiture. I am an ecosexual. I am very queer. I’m agender. So I’m a trans person. So I have a queer perspective. I have, I hope, an intersectional perspective as much as I’m able to with this white abled body of mine. 

    Yeah, I have a lot to say about creativity, queerness, ecosexuality, healing, connecting with yourself. So I just wanted to see if anyone here on the world wide web would like to interview me about any of these topics. I also have a lot of practice in getting tattoos. I’m over, what is it? 36 hours now into this current half body tattoo. So I have a lot to say about tattoos also and how the pain of tattoos is important to me, even though some people would be confused by that. But yeah, I can say more in another video.

    But yeah, I would love to do more interviews. If you are interested in interviewing me for a variety of things. I have a form that I will share below for a way for you to reach out to me and let me know that you would like to interview me. So just fill it out and I will get in touch with you. I’ve really enjoyed doing interviews. I recently did one for Topless Topics, I did one for Nudism.TV. I’m actually not a nudist, but I am naked a lot. I have a lot to say about that, too. There’s a bunch of topics that I could talk about. So if any of the things that I’ve mentioned here are interesting to you and you want to learn more about it, you’d like to share that information with your audience. Yeah reach out to me. I would love to talk with you about it as, yeah, I have a lot to say.

    I don’t want to make this video too long because I want it to be accessible to people and not be boring. So I’m going to leave it at that. But if you would like to interview me, I have a lot of information to share and I would love to do that. So, yeah, reach out! I would love to talk with you! Yay! Thank you. Bye!

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  • How coworking holds me accountable

    June 25, 2022 /

    Click here to watch the video in another window

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends! Today I wanted to talk about coworking. If you don’t know what coworking is, some people call it body doubling, but it’s basically where you and one or more other people hang out, either virtually or in person to do your own individual work. Like you don’t even have to be doing the same thing. You don’t even have to be talking to each other, you’re just like in the same space doing your own thing at the same time. It sounds really simple, but it has changed my life.

    In January I started hosting coworking sessions and usually they’re between like an hour and a half to two hours long. And I’ve been doing it on an almost weekly basis since January, and I have gotten so much more done during coworking than I would have if I was just doing my own work whenever I’m doing it by myself, it’s kind of ridiculous. 

    I really struggle with motivation, especially to do tasks on a computer. I really don’t enjoy doing a bunch of the administrative stuff that is required on the computer. So since I don’t really enjoy it, I don’t really like set aside a lot of time to do it, and I avoid it and I just like procrastinate on it and it kind of just doesn’t really get done much… but since I’ve been doing coworking, I have like an hour and a half to two hours every week, dedicated to doing stuff on the computer with my friends. I’ve gotten so much done. It’s so much better than doing it by myself. So much better. Yeah. I’ve literally gotten way more done this year than I would have if I was just trying to do it on my own and it’s like, I don’t even always tell my friends what I’m even working on. I’m just like, hey, yeah, let’s get to work. Okay Let’s go and I do it.

    And coworking holds me accountable, like, oh my gosh, coworking holds me accountable better than anything else in terms of like work stuff. So it holds me accountable because it is a scheduled time to do work that’s on a recurring basis. That has helped me so much. So I know like, every Wednesday morning, I’m going to get on Zoom and hang out with my friends, and we’re going to get some work done, and it’s gonna be great. 

    The energy is different, like people join me during these co-working sessions because it’s kind of the point is, you’re not doing it by yourself. So people join me and the energy is different than if I was doing it on my own. It like even if I don’t feel motivated, just knowing that other people are counting on me to be there helps me at least show up and get started. And then once I get started, it’s so much easier to continue. Like, I think the getting started part is the hardest part is like, “oh God, there’s this thing I have to do. There’s all these things I have to do to get ready to do the thing. I don’t want to do it at all.”

    But then if it’s like, okay, today’s Wednesday and it’s coworking day so I’m going to like write down a list of all the things that I’d like to get done and I’m just going to start working on them one by one. And see how much I can do. Oh my gosh, I get so much more done. Sometimes I do more than what’s even on my list and I’m just like, how, how did I just get all the stuff done? If I was trying to do this by myself, I would have only gotten like two things done this whole week, but I just got like five things done in an hour and a half. I don’t know.

    There’s some magic with coworking and there’s probably some like science to it. But I just know that I get like a fuck ton more done when I cowork, than if I’m just trying to do something by myself. It just helps having friendly faces on a computer screen. Even if you’re not even talking to each other, even if you don’t even know what each other’s doing. It’s just like I’m here working on my stuff and my friends are here working on their stuff and just knowing that we’re working on our own stuff in the same time, in the same place, whether that’s virtually or in person. Like I just, there’s so much more motivation for me to actually do the thing because my friends are doing the thing. Why don’t I go ahead and do my thing because I know I need to get it done. Coworking is the best!

    Okay, so I hope that gives you some information about coworking, if you didn’t know what it was before and why I like it so much. If you would like to join me for coworking at some point Wednesdays at 10 a.m. Eastern time. That’s when I do co-working. It’s almost every Wednesday. It’s not every single one because sometimes I have like a tattoo appointment or something, but it’s most Wednesdays at 10 a.m. Eastern. If you’d like to join, I’ll put a link to the Eventbrite below and you can sign up to join me at some point if you want.

     

    Join us for coworking! Register here

    I also sometimes I’m doing them on Tuesdays for my Beyonders, like people that are members of this website and also on my Discord Channel because on Discord. I think I posted about last week. On Discord, you can do events on Discord like video events. So sometimes I’ll just do coworking on Discord too, that’s usually on Tuesday afternoons at 1pm eastern. That’s not every week, just sometimes. But yeah, if I can do coworking at least one day a week, then I can actually get some shit done. And if you’d like to join me. Link is below.

     

    Join us for coworking! Register here

     

    I’m also going to put a link to a survey if there’s any like, certain topic. You’d like to hear from me about, you can let me know in that survey. Yeah I hope you join me at coworking sometime, we get some stuff done, it’s real chill. Yeah and there’s a lot of queer energy because me and my friends are queer. So if you need some queer energy in your life, whether or not we’re even gonna be talking, we’re just hanging out doing our thing. Yeah come join us! Have a great day and I’ll see you soon!

    Click here to respond to my survey + help me create content you want to see!

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  • 1st Queer Creative Coworking Session is TOMORROW!

    January 4, 2022 /

    Do you feel like me in the image above (upset, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated…) when you realize how many things are on your to-do list?

    I took the above self portrait in May 2021 as I was processing a lot of difficult emotions. It took me until mid November to finally look through all the images and actually share them on my website.

    Those self portraits sat on my hard drive for 6 MONTHS because there were so many images + I was dreading having to look through them all in order to choose my favorites.

    I finally did it because I set up a container that included focused time + group accountability.

    I invited members of my website to join me live on zoom while we looked through the images, together.

    That (seemingly) simple plan made all the difference.

    We got through the whole day of images, more than I thought we would accomplish! I dreaded going through hundreds of photos, but having friends there with me helped me go through ALL of them within about an hour!

    I’ve done coworking with friends before, but I’ve never offered an organized group session where we can all work on our individual tasks/goals/creations with focused time + group accountability… until now.

    The first Queer Creative Coworking session is TOMORROW!

    I’d love for you to join us if this sounds like something that would benefit you!

    A few more details are below, ALLLLL the details are on the eventbrite page!

    Queer Creative Coworking!

    Do you have a list of things you want to do, but for whatever reason can’t get around to actually getting them done?

    Coworking / body doubling is a process that allows for mindful preparation, a distraction-free environment + group accountability to help us work toward our goals. When we set up focused time on a regular basis, we are more likely to make progress on projects that matter to us.

    Itinerary:

    • gathering

    • dive in with quick tips + review of community guidelines
    • introductions (name, pronouns, intentions/goals for the session)
    • somatic practice
    • 1 hour of focused work/creation broken up into 2 x 25 minute blocks with an optional 10 minute break in the middle
    • journaling +/ writing down plans for next steps

    • sharing our progress

    Join us live on zoom!

    Wednesdays at 10am EST

    January 5th – TOMORROW!

    January 12th

    January 26th

    February 2nd

    Since you’re a member, you get to join for FREE!
    Use code “BLMBR” for your free ticket(s)!

    This is an experiment! There are only 4 sessions scheduled to see how it goes, so if this sounds like something you’re interested in, join us while you can! I’m not sure if I’ll continue doing them in the future. ❤️

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  • Do you need focused time to work toward your goals? 📝

    December 29, 2021 /

    An Invitation: Queer Creative Coworking!

    Do you have a list of things you want to do, but for whatever reason can’t get around to actually getting them done?

    Coworking / body doubling is a process that allows for mindful preparation, a distraction-free environment + group accountability to help us work toward our goals. When we set up focused time on a regular basis, we are more likely to make progress on projects that matter to us.

    Itinerary:

    • gathering

    • dive in with quick tips + review of community guidelines
    • introductions (name, pronouns, intentions/goals for the session)
    • somatic practice
    • 1 hour of focused work/creation broken up into 2 x 25 minute blocks with an optional 10 minute break in the middle
    • journaling +/ writing down plans for next steps

    • sharing our progress

    Join us live on zoom!

    Wednesdays at 10am EST

    January 5th

    January 12th

    January 26th

    February 2nd

    Tickets are sliding scale, pay what you can!

    Members of bunnyluna.com get FREE tickets!

    This is an experiment! There are only 4 sessions scheduled to see how it goes, so if this sounds like something you’re interested in, join us while you can! I’m not sure if I’ll continue doing them in the future. ❤️

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  • Oops!

    December 9, 2021 /

    You probably just got an email from me about Queer Creative Coworking starting tomorrow….

    I accidentally scheduled the post to go live on January 2021 instead of 2022!! Please disregard, it’s not tomorrow, it’s next month!

    Don’t worry, you’ll get emails about it in a few weeks! 😊

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  • My Queer/Coming Out Story!

    October 23, 2021 /

     

    Click here to watch this video in another window.

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends! So, recently, I think it was the 10th or 11th it was National Coming Out day, so I thought I would share my queer story with you! So if you’re new here and don’t know much about me, I am queer, I’m trans, I’m agender, I’m ecosexual, I’m, I guess I would also say bisexual… labels don’t quite fit me properly, so I’ve found that queer and ecosexual fit me the best. So usually it’s just easier for me to be like, I’m queer. I’m trans. I’m non-binary. I’m queer. Yeah, so like, I like labels to help people understand me better, but also I find labels to be limiting sometimes because as soon as you put a label on something, then there’s usually a lot of assumptions that come along with that. So yeah, that’s like a short synopsis of my thoughts on labels, but for coming out day, which was recently… this month. Yeah. I want to share my like queer story with you!

    If I knew more about queerness, and if I had more queer friends that were out when I was younger, even though I did have some out queer friends when I was in high school. If I had more education before the time that I did, I probably would have come out sooner or like actually realize things about myself sooner, because the hardest part of coming out is coming out to yourself and like realizing that you’re queer in the first place, so I didn’t really realize or come out until I was 29 years old, which was two years ago in 2019. 

    I could have maybe connected the dots way years before, but I think my being married to a man a cis man for over five years and a relationship with him for over 10 years kind of, I don’t want to say prevented me from realizing my queerness, but I think it I think it encouraged my…. How do I put this? I think it encouraged my not knowing for a while, like it was easy to just be like yeah, I’m straight and I’m a woman because I married the man and I’m happy in this relationship. If you’re new here, also, I’m divorced. Officially divorced in 2020. We’re still friends. But it took really, it took me being on my cross country road trip by myself in 2019 to really have the time and space to be with myself and really start to understand myself on a deeper level before I realized that I was queer. Looking back… looking back there were a lot of signs that I was queer way before then. 

    I just didn’t put it together and I was like, I’m a tomboy. So before I realized I was queer, I always wanted a penis. Ideally a retractable one so it was there when I wanted, but I would like disappear when I didn’t want it. Still dreaming! Still hoping maybe one day I’ll have it. Yeah, even as a kid, I would like pretend I had a penis. And like put spoons in my pants to like make them poke out so it seemed like I had a penis. My sister reminded me of this because I totally had forgotten. I always really loved shopping in the boys section of stores. I definitely had, queer friends. I was a very opinionated and loud ally to queer people for like forever. I had a Love Is Love shirt in like high school that I made myself. So, I mean there were signs and of course like everyone’s… everyone’s life is different. So maybe you have done the same things and you’re like straight and cis, and that’s totally cool too, like everyone is different. Only you can know if you’re queer or not, but for me, those were signs.

    So, okay, in March of 2019, we had, me and my now ex-husband had the, let’s get a divorce conversation and he moved out of state in May, mid-May of 2019, and at the end of May of 2019 I started my two month solo cross country road trip and then mid-August after I came home it was like maybe a week after I got home. No mosquito not here for you. I at that point, my hair was to my elbows and I was fucking sick of it. For my whole life I had long or long ish hair, and I kind of overly identified with it. But by the time, like I was living in a van and being in the desert mostly for two months.

    Squirrel! Did you see? I just got fucking sick of my hair. So I came home and I asked my mom to shave my head. And she didn’t really want to because she was scared that I wouldn’t like it, but she did it anyway because I wanted it and I asked her to and she was like, okay, who am I to say that you can’t have a shaved head? And so she shaved it for me. There’s a video of that whole… the whole thing. The whole experience of me getting my head shaved for the first time ever. I have that video, I’ll have to find it and link it for y’all, but there’s a whole video, it’s like 20 minutes long. I have a short version too that’s like two minutes, but it’s really special. That was like, I’m very big moment in my queer awakening. So my mom shaved my head here in the backyard. We were naked and it was wonderful. And at the end, I was like, oh shit. I look like a little boy. And I was super happy.

    (CLICK HERE FOR THE 20 MINUTE HAIRCUT VIDEO)

    (CLICK HERE FOR THE 2 MINUTE SHORT VERSION OF THE HAIRCUT VIDEO)

    And then within like, a couple of days of that, I was walking at the park with my sister and I like confessed to her my gender feelings and she totally affirmed that for me and reminded me of some of the signs of my queerness when I was a kid that I didn’t even remember, and she’s like, yeah that I mean, it totally makes sense that you’re not binary because like you kind of have always been like that and she’s like, of course. So that was really amazing and I’m so thankful for her for being immediately supportive of me. So that evening, I texted a bunch of my family, like, hey, I realized I’m non binary. Can you please use they/them pronouns for me? And after that, I came out on social media and Yeah, been like that ever since. Yeah, so that’s the shortish version of my Queer Journey. 

    Yeah. I’m just happy thinking about it because I feel so much more myself and I have the vocabulary and the knowledge to be able to be like, okay, I know myself better than I ever did at this point and that feels really good. My parents are really wonderful. My mom, like she came up with this word that I love because she was like, if I can’t call you my daughter anymore, how do I… How do I introduce you to friends and stuff? Like, I don’t want to say my child because you’re an adult. She like what? How do I describe you? I was like, I donno, you’re heir? Child of your womb? Your adult child? I don’t know. And she came up with the word sproutling, which I love and my sister also likes it too. So we’re just, we’re their Sproutlings. So, that makes me super happy. Like even if there isn’t a word for what you’re trying to say, you can make one up!

    So if you’re in the closet or if you’re out of the closet, or if you’re questioning your gender or your sexuality or your identity in any way, I’m proud of you and I hope that you do it in your own time. There’s no rush and you can always change. People change their labels all the time. Like we’re not static, like human beings are always changing and we’re always growing and learning and to expect someone to always be the same is to not fully know them. And it’s to not like hold them in their complexity and their wholeness. So yeah, you are worthy, whether you have a label for yourself or not. You are amazing and wonderful and you are loved. Okay. Thank you for being here. I just want to share that story with you. I know some of you who’ve been here for a while, probably have already heard it, but I figured I’d share because National Coming Out day was recently and it was fitting. I love you!

    Photos my sister Gemini took during the life changing haircut:

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  • Queer Nature + EXCITING NEWS!

    September 6, 2021 /

    Click here to watch video in another window

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi! It’s actually been quite a while since I made a vlog for you, so I thought I’d come and say hi! It’s starting to rain a little bit, so hopefully it won’t get too much rain, but I have some exciting potential things that will be happening at the end of October that I will probably tell you more about later, but I want to give you a heads-up that like things are happening and I’m excited! So vague, right?

    But something I can tell you about is I made a little PowerPoint PDF thing. It’s actually maybe not that little, it’s like 23 pages, but it’s all about how queer nature is. It’s kind of like a mini book report on this book that I read that blew my mind in the best way! Yeah, I wanted to share this PDF with y’all and see what you think. I’m also considering maybe doing like a like mini webinar where I just like infodump about queer nature. If you’re interested in that, please let me know because I have been thinking about maybe doing that because I think it’d be fun and if you want to be live with me while I infodump about queer nature, then let me know and we can do that!

    I do want to tell you more about October. So I know one of them is for sure definitely happening, so I’m going to tell you about that one, but there’s another thing that’s happening at the end of October that’s like, most likely going to happen, but I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m going to wait to tell you that.

    So the one that I know is happening is there is this photography space in Charlotte called The Light Factory. They do gallery exhibitions, they do photography classes, they do workshops, all kinds of stuff, they do photo walks for the community where they just like, walk around Charlotte (and I’m getting bit by mosquitos). This is where they walk around Charlotte and do photography stuff, it’s pretty cool. They reached out to me to teach a self portrait workshop!!!!

    I remember, I was a teenager, dreaming of having art in the gallery there at The Light Factory. And I did, I was part of one of their group member shows way back in the day. Where basically anybody that wanted to share their art could put it in the member show, so it wasn’t like this juried fancy thing or anything, but that felt really cool and I was like in high school or college or something so it was several years ago.

    The Light Factory reached out to me!!! Probably because I have a couple friends who teach there already, so thank you friends!! They put in a good word for me! So The Light Factory is like “Hey Bunny do you want to teach a self portrait workshop?” and I’m like “hell yes I do!!!” So at the end of October… October 23rd? 24th? 23rd. I think it’s the 23rd, I will be teaching a workshop about self portraiture with them. I’m really excited. We’re going to do it outside at a park because I don’t want to do anything inside, because of lots of reasons, like covid is probably number 1 reason I don’t want to do stuff inside, and 2 because I just feel like self portraits are so much better in nature, you know me! So yeah, we’re gonna go to a park and I’m gonna teach a self portrait workshop and I’m really excited.

    So it’s like a big opportunity for me and I just feel super special that they reached out to me. Like wow… also maybe I should start actually applying to things because that would help me do more cool fun stuff like the self portrait workshop. Yeah, so I’m really excited. And yeah, originally we were going to do a full day workshop, but they are unable to pay my rate, so we’re going to do a short 2 hour workshop, because that is more aligned with what I’m able to provide based on what they’re able to pay me, because I really do want to create a relationship with The Light Factory. So I think even though I’m not getting paid at my full rate for this workshop, I think it’s a good opportunity for me to meet other artists in Charlotte get my foot in the door with The Light Factory, be able to put The Light Factory on my resume. Yeah, mostly I’m just excited to meet the other creative people.

    Sorry, like fly… Something’s flying around me! I totally forgot what I was saying. Yeah, so I’m really excited and I’m excited to share that with you, and I’m going to be sharing the link to the PDF for the queer nature below. You can download it if you want, I’m just going to share with you. But yeah, let me know if you want to do like a little webinar about queer nature because I’m obsessed, and yeah, I mean if you have been around for any amount of time, then you know that I love nature and queer nature is like the best way to affirm my queerness because like it’s super natural! Well, not Supernatural but it’s super space natural. It is very natural. Okay, I’m getting kind of goofy now.

    I’m gonna go hang out with my sister later today, meet her new doggy! And yeah, I think that’s all I have to share. So, yeah, thank you so much for being here. I love you so much.

    I have honestly been kind of struggling with what I want to share on my website now, since I’m not taking as many photos as I used to, but I also really want to start doing more educational kind of things and I just have to make up my mind and actually do something. I think that’s the problem because I have so many ideas! It’s hard to choose and then I don’t do any of them, and I’m like, why? So I need to just pick a thing and go! So that was my queer nature thing, I just picked that and did it, and now I am sharing with you. So, I hope you like it! Hope you have a great day! I love you so much, and I’ll talk to you soon!

    CLICK HERE FOR QUEER NATURE PDF

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  • Nature is Queer!

    July 24, 2021 /

    Click here if you’re having trouble watching the video.

    Hi friends!

    So I have recently finished a book that I am obsessed about, obsessed with, and super excited about. It has totally affirmed all of my queerness in general, but sometimes, I somehow still feel like I need to be affirmed in my queerness even though I’m super queer and like, that’s awesome but we all need some affirmation sometimes, right?

    So I would love to share with you this book Evolution’s Rainbow from Joan Roughgarden who is a trans woman biologist. An amazing person who wrote this amazing book. So, it’s Evolution’s Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People.

    I love everything that I read in this book, I do feel like there were some kind of outdated terms in this book which kind of makes sense because it’s from 10 years ago. It’s been out for over 10 years. So, whatever potentially incorrect language is used in the book, I highly doubt like there was any kind of malice in using those terms. I would like to give Joan and the amount of time it’s been since Joan wrote his book, the benefit of the doubt that some of the like outdated language that was used wasn’t really on purpose. Language from 10 years ago, even if it’s not totally the way things would go today, but it’s nothing like super… what’s the word I’m looking for? Negative, I guess?

    Distracted me! Yay. But anyway, this book is amazing. I wanted to go over this little section called Gender Defined, because it’s real great and it’s probably one of my favorite parts of the book and it’s pretty close to the beginning. 

    If you’re curious about like gender or, not gender, about nature being super fucking queer this is your book. This is all the science behind how queer nature is, nature is super fucking queer. So queer! Like, of course, humans are queer, because queerness is all throughout the animal kingdom! I don’t even like that term, okay, let’s find another term… all throughout life on this planet!

    So I’m gonna read a little bit from this and let’s affirm your queerness too.

    All right, Gender Defined. 

    “Up to now, we’ve come up with two generalizations. One: most species reproduce sexually, and two: among the species that do reproduce sexually, gamete size obeys a near universal binary between very small: sperm, and large: egg. So that male and female can be defined biologically as the production of small and large gametes, respectively.  Beyond these two generalizations, the generalizing stops and diversity begins!

    The binary in gamete size doesn’t extend outward. The biggest error of biology today is uncritically assuming that gamete size binary implies a corresponding binary in body type, behavior, and life history.”

    (I’m going to read that sentence again because I think it is so important to really get in our brain. Here we go, reading a second time.)

    “The biggest error of biology today is uncritically assuming that gamete size binary implies a corresponding binary in body type, behavior, and life history.

    No binary governs the whole individuals who make gametes, who bring them to one another for fertilization and who interact with one another to survive in a native social context. In fact, the very sexual process that maintains the rainbow of a species and facilitates long-term survival automatically brings a cornucopia of colorful, sexual behaviors.

    Gender, unlike gamete size, is not limited to two. Gender usually refers to the way a person expresses sexual identity in a cultural context. Gender reflects both the individual reaching out to cultural norms and society imposing expectations on the individual. Gender is usually thought to be uniquely human. Any species has sexes, but only people have genders.

    With your permission though, I’d like to widen the meaning of gender to refer to non-human species as well. As a definition, I suggest gender is the appearance, behavior, and life history of a sexed body. A body becomes sexed when classified with respect to the size of the gametes produced. Thus gender is appearance plus action, how an organism uses morphology, including color and shape, plus behavior to carry out a sexual role. Now we’re free to explore the zoological and botanical counterpart of human gender studies.

    So, we may ask how much variety occurs in gender expression among other species? Let’s take some favorite stereotypes and see. We will look mostly at vertebrae, but even more variety occurs with invertebrates and plants.”

    (All right, this is going to be a list and it’s really great. I want to make this into a like, infographic post because it’s so good.)

    “An organism is solely male or female for life.

    No. The most common body form among plants and in perhaps half of the animal kingdom is for an individual to be both and female at the same time or at different times during its life. These individuals make both small and large gametes during their lives.

    Males are bigger than females, on the average.

    No, in lots of species, especially fish, the female is bigger than the male.

    Females, not males, give birth.

    No, in many species the female deposits the eggs in the pouch of the male, who incubates them until birth. In many species males, not females, tend the nest.

    Males have XY chromosomes and females, XX chromosomes.

    No, in birds including domesticated poultry like chickens the reverse is true. In many other species, males and females showed no difference in chromosomes. In all alligators and crocodiles, some turtles and lizards, and the occasional fish, sex is determined by the temperature at which the eggs are raised. A female can control the sex ratio among her offspring by laying eggs in a shady or sunny spot.

    Only two genders occur, corresponding to the two sexes.

    No, many species have three or more genders with individuals of each sex occurring in two or more forms. 

    Males and females look different from one another.

    No, in some species males and females are almost indistinguishable. In other species males occur in two or more forms, one of which resembles a female while the others are different from the female. 

    The male has a penis and the female lactates. (This is probably my favorite one!)

    No, in the spotted hyena, females have a penis-like structure externally identical to that of males, and in the fruit bat of Malaysia and Borneo, the males have milk producing mammary glands. 

    Males control females.

    (Obviously hell no.) In some species, females control males, and in many, mating is a dynamic interaction between female and male choice. Females may or may not prefer a dominant male. Period. (I added the period.)

    Females prefer monogamy and males want to play around.

    No, depending on the species, either or both sexes may play around. Lifelong monogamy is rare, and even within monogamous species, females may initiate divorce to acquire a higher ranking male.”

    Resources:

    Book:

    Evolution’s Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People by Joan Roughgarden

    Internet Articles:

    11 Animals That Can Change Their Sex by Sidney Stevens

    These are the only 3 animals on Earth who produce offspring this way by Molly Sequin

    Sex Redefined: The Idea of 2 Sexes is Overly Simplistic by Claire Ainsworth

    How Birds Become Male or Female, and Occasionally Both by Jenny Graves

    We Have the Wrong Idea About Males, Females, and Sex by David Robson

    Female Animals with Pseudo Penises by Katie Mach

    And this is in the animal kingdom, or in the life that is non-human on the world… okay!? Yeah so nature is queer as fuck. There’s like transgender hummingbirds. There are plants that are male in the morning and female in the evening, and others of those plants are the opposite, female in the morning and male in the afternoon. Even different genders throughout like one day. 

    There’s like fish that like are very, like queer, gender weird. At all the things I’m just… *makes excited face*

    Spotted hyena, all of them have penises. Also, it doesn’t say it in that section that I read to you, but in another section about those spotted hyenas, it’s probably, it’s one of my favorite things! Now I’m just like “haaa” …build expectation. 

    Female hyenas have penises too, they all have penises. The spotted hyena all have penises, and an erection is a sign of submission!!!!!!! In spotted hyena world!!!!

    Okay, I’m done. So nature’s queer, end of story. I love you. Let’s go. Let’s check out more queer nature things.

    Do you like this video? If you like this video, comment and let me know and I’ll make more queer nature videos. I love you!

    If you’d like to read this book yourself, the Bookshop link is below!
    (OR CLICK HERE)

    Bookshop allows us to support independent bookstores instead of putting more money into billionaire’s pockets.
    As an affiliate with Bookshop, I receive 10% as a commission (at no cost to you!), which I redistribute to the local Black Indigenous, + People of Color creative community here in Charlotte NC.

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  • Art Nuance & Evyenia Karapolous

    July 18, 2020 /

    CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hello! So… gosh weeks go by so fast now. This week I’m sharing I think it’s 3 photosets actually, that I have modeled for, for my friend Nuance Artistry. One of the sets is in a studio, one of the sets is in an abandoned mill, and the other set is with another model. I always say her name wrong. I can spell it really well, but I don’t know if I’m going to say it right so I’m sorry. Evyenia Karapolous, she goes by a different name in real life, that’s her modeling name so I just call her the name that she goes by in real life but that’s not her modeling name. I think these are really great, these are older sets taken probably… 2 more more years ago now. Which feels weird, because time is really really weird.

    I think the stuff that’s going into first look is the last time I saw Roarie Yum in person. They modeled for a photographer friend of mine PhotoWyse and I took some behind the scenes stuff and that’s what I’m sharing in First Look is the behind the scenes stuff that I took of Roarie during their shoot with Terry. I’m also sharing to video people the nude yoga video for this month! So yay.

    I dont have a lot to say today, I feel like…. so I think I might switch up my schedule again in terms of what I’m doing during the week. I don’t know. Because after July I don’t have very much planned. On Mondays on youtube I’m doing that ecosexual series, and that’ll be finished in 2 weeks I think. I don’t really have anything planned for after that so I might take a break on that. I’ve really been enjoying the Thursday group hangout member gathering things, the video hangouts, but I also feel like maybe I should have more structure around it or change it up for something else. I haven’t decided. I feel like I’m perpetually switching up what I want to do. So I appreciate that yall want to hang around! I for sure am going to do the members hangout this week, which by the time you get this will have already happened because it’s tonight, Thursday night, not Saturday when this is going to be uploaded. Part of me wants to pause those for a little bit and recalibrate. I started doing them kindof at the beginning of quarantine as a way to stay connected, and they’ve been really fun, but at the same time… it’s just hanging out. And I feel like I want more than that, but I also don’t know exactly what I want that to be. But I also know that I want to have time for expanding things in the future like maybe teaching courses, queer hangouts, trans support group… I don’t know! I might switch stuff up, I might slow down or have more structure to or cancel or change the schedule for the group chats. I just know that something isn’t quite how I want it to be yet and I just don’t know where I want to go yet. I change so much! I’m glad that I’m not stagnant and stuck in the same thing over and over again, but I am noticing the need for change, I’m just not quite in the place where I know what that is yet.

    I probably will no longer model for photographers, at least for a while, unless they’re like queer and/or trans people. I haven’t really wanted to model in a while and it just feels like another way for people to consume me in a way that is not really me. Because my naked body most people think (some flying thing just came into my space)… my naked body gets attention from people that I don’t necessarily want attention from, and I definitely don’t want sexual attention from like anybody. I feel like if I’m less naked (AHH what’s with the bugs today! there was a bug that was crawling on my foot!) I feel like if I’m less naked on the internet I’ll get less attention in the ways that I don’t want. I also feel like me being naked on the internet is a good chunk of the reason why people give me money and how I can pay my rent so that’s complicated. I definitely want to switch to a more queer trans ecosexual healing kindof platform, but I don’t know how to do that in a way that I’m still sustaining my self financially. I just know that I have way too many cis straight men who follow me and want to work with me, and that’s not really the like… I mean I love all of you people who are here of course… but in terms of new people finding me I’d much rather them be queer or trans or women or you know… not cis straight men. Sorry. Queer people are my people! Trans people are my people! Ecosexual people are my people! Cis straight men are not really my people. I have some wonderful cis straight men in my life that I super appreciate and love a whole lot, but in terms of the audience that I want to gather around myself and the community I want to create around myself and my business is not going to be catered to cis straight men and they are not the people I want to gather around me in large quantities. Because most of them probably see me as a woman and probably see me as somebody they want to have sex with and I do not want either of those things from them. Maybe that’s me not having enough faith in cis straight men to understand my queerness and to not objectify me and sexualize me, but based on my 30 years of life experience, I don’t have a lot of faith in cis straight men doing those things, unfortunately.

    I just don’t know what to do to change things to be more of what I want them to be. I guess I just need to show up in the way that is authentic to myself and that will draw the right people around me because if I’m myself then more people like me will find me. I just feel like, I don’t want my work to be centered around…. okay so I love nudity and I DO want my work to be centered around nudity, but I want it to be centered around nudity in a non-sexual way that is healing and affirming and inclusive and NOT in a sexual or exploitative or objectifying in any way. I don’t know, I just know things need to change and I’m not exactly sure what that is yet or what that means. I just appreciate yall being here along for the ride. I’m always changing so my website is always changing and the things I’m doing are always changing. So I appreciate you being here in whatever capacity you’re here, if you’re a cis straight man I hope I didn’t make you too upset. Maybe go through my youtube and look at all my ecosexual stuff and in my resources here on my website I have a video on gender and sexuality that’s over an hour long. So if some of the queerness things are intriguing to you, I have resources already that I would love for you to check out, that’s more of my face talking to you!

    I think it’s kinda interesting that… I was looking at some of the videos that I made last summer during my cross country road trip and I was thinking about how different I am from the person that I was last year and it’s made me a little bit sad because I was so much happier last summer when I was in all the nature. Here now is like, quarantine and stress and isolation and stuckness and a lot of numbness so I don’t quite know how to reconcile that and I realize that the whole entire planet is going through a lot right now with all of the oppression and fear and all the bullshit. It makes sense that I’m not the same happy person that I was last year. I also miss that person! I miss being completely overjoyed by rounding a corner and finding some vast amazing landscape, I miss being able to get in my van and just GO and stop anywhere and hang out and not worry about germs and play naked in a pile with other naked people and hang out and cuddle. I just… you probably feel it too. Everything’s harder this year. Thanks 2020!

    I just want to find a way that I can share and affirm and honor queerness and transness and uplift that, and heal through that. I’m not quite sure what that means yet, but I’m working in that direction. Thank you for exploring existence with me. I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much. Bye!

    Video members:
    click here to view the full studio photoset with Nuance Artistry
    click here for the abandoned mill photoset
    click here for the photoset with Evyenia Karapolous
    click here to view the BTS videos
    click here to view the nude yoga video for July

    First Look members:
    click here to view the BTS photos & videos from Roarie Yum‘s shoot with PhotoWyse

    Click here for the gallery passwords

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