• 2021 Recap!

    December 25, 2021 /

    I enjoy looking back + seeing all the progress I’ve made over the year. It helps me realize that I did in fact actually do things + work toward my goals.

    Sometimes my brain likes to tell me that I’ve done NOTHING + gotten NOTHING accomplished, that I’ve wasted the whole year.

    Does your brain do that to you too?

    Maybe looking back through your year to see all that you’ve done will benefit you too!

    This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to make a purchase using my link (at no extra cost to you!). I only recommend things I have personally used + love!

     

    Let me know what you’d like to see from me in 2022 by responding to my survey!

     

    I was only able to accomplish these things because of the support from members of my website, thank you so much!

     

    • Became an LLC
    • Got a business bank account
    • GBTL events: Jan, Feb x2, March x2, April x2, May x3, June x2, July, August, September (total of 15 events!!!)
    • GBTL met up in person to create + facilitate backstage pass
    • Many many meetings + video chats + text messages behind the scenes

    Click here to learn more about Going Beyond the Lens

     

     

    Check out the organized list of HUNDREDS of books I want to read!

    show your support for free:
    show your support financially (sliding scale!):

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  • TODAY! Member’s only webinar: first look at self portraits!

    November 18, 2021 /

    TODAY!!!! JUST FOR MEMBERS!

    I have a ton of self portraits that have been sitting in my hard drive that I’ve been too overwhelmed to go through because there’s so many. I thought we could hang out together + you could help me choose the best ones to upload to smugmug, so here’s the information!

    Thursday Nov 18, 2021 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

    Webinar style, so it’ll be me screen sharing the photos + y’all can use the chat to let me know your thoughts!

    I have several photosets to go through so we’ll start with one + see how far we can get in an hour.

    Link to join the webinar

    Passcode: 534771

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  • TOMORROW! Member’s only webinar: first look at self portraits!

    November 17, 2021 /

    COMING UP TOMORROW, JUST FOR MEMBERS!

    I have a ton of self portraits that have been sitting in my hard drive that I’ve been too overwhelmed to go through because there’s so many. I thought we could hang out together + you could help me choose the best ones to upload to smugmug, so here’s the information!

    Thursday Nov 18, 2021 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

    Webinar style, so it’ll be me screen sharing the photos + y’all can use the chat to let me know your thoughts!

    I have several photosets to go through so we’ll start with one + see how far we can get in an hour.

    Link to join the webinar

    Passcode: 534771

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  • NEXT WEEK! Member’s only webinar: first look at self portraits!

    November 11, 2021 /

    COMING UP NEXT WEEK, JUST FOR MEMBERS!

    I posted a vlog recently about why self portraits are important to me + are a big part of my art.
    This is the members only event I spoke about in that vlog!

    I have a ton of self portraits that have been sitting in my hard drive that I’ve been too overwhelmed to go through because there’s so many. I thought we could hang out together + you could help me choose the best ones to upload to smugmug, so here’s the information!

    Thursday Nov 18, 2021 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

    Webinar style, so it’ll be me screen sharing the photos + y’all can use the chat to let me know your thoughts!

    I have several photosets to go through so we’ll start with one + see how far we can get in an hour.

    Link to join the webinar

    Passcode: 534771

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  • Why Self Portraits Are Important To Me

    October 16, 2021 /

     

    Click here to watch this video in another window.

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends! I thought that since I have the self portrait workshop coming up at The Light Factory on October 23rd here in Charlotte, in person. So this will be my first in-person Workshop in a few years, I’m very excited!  But since I have that coming up, I wanted to talk about self portraits and why I take them and why they’re important to me.

    So to give you a little back story, if you’re new. Wow, these mosquitoes are coming after me right now. If you’re new here, I’ve been taking self-portraits since 2010, maybe a little bit before. Actually, definitely before since I got a camera when I was 16, so that was in what? 2006? 2007? 2006… 2006. So even though I was probably taking naked self portraits before I was 18 that I will not share because I was underage and that’s really creepy for other people to see. 

    Self portraits have been really important to me. At first, when I was younger, when I first started taking photos at first, it was just, I was the easiest subject to find for my photos. I didn’t have to have another person with me to take photos of them. I could just take photos of me to practice and learn my camera. But as time went on, I learned that I somehow felt more connected to myself when I took self portraits. I feel like I could learn more about myself and experience my emotions in a deeper way through self portraiture.

    And I think that’s because a lot of times when I’m feeling something and experiencing something I don’t have a mirror or camera in front of me, so it’s all kind of abstract like in my head and in my mind and in my body with like the way that I was feeling… but once I started taking self-portraits, the way that I felt became something that I could see and seeing it helped me experience it more.

    I don’t know if you have heard of aphantasia, but I have aphantasia, which is where you don’t have a Mind’s Eye. So I can imagine things, but I can’t see anything when I’m thinking about it. Like I can’t see anything in my head, I can’t visualize. I can like, remember what things are like, because I’ve seen them before and I like, remember it, but I don’t actually see anything in my head. I can’t like, oh, I’m going to imagine a unicorn with rainbow hair and sparkles and it’s going to be prancing across on a rainbow.

    Like, I can think about those things, but I can’t see them in my head. And it took me a while to realize that that’s not a normal thing… or well, okay, maybe I don’t want to say that. It took me a while to realize that people could actually see things in their head and I couldn’t. Self portraiture, since I don’t visualize self portraiture helps me actually like make the things that I think about or the ways that I feel more tangible and more real, because I can see them because a lot of times things don’t quite feel real if I’m just thinking about them. But once it’s something that’s visible and tangible than it becomes a lot more real to me. 

    And I, I got into a much deeper relationship with myself through self portraiture when I was on my cross country road trip in 2019. I was going through a lot like, personally, emotionally, romantically. Yeah, mentally, like life things were pretty wild. That was during my Saturn return. If you’re into astrology, at all, you know that a Saturn Return usually like turns your life upside down, or it can.. and it definitely turned mine upside down. So, I was processing a lot of feelings and a lot of like, Unknown. And I was able to process in a much deeper way because I took so many self portraits on that road trip. 

    And I learned so much about myself. I mean, if you’ve been around since then, you know that I realized I was non binary like right after I came home from that trip. It really helped me get to know myself and understand myself on a deeper level, through actually being in my body and allowing myself to feel all my feelings while I was taking self portraits and then looking through them later, realizing oh wow, I’m a real person, I have real feelings, and I can see that, and I can like experience that all over again when I look at the photos. So self portraits mean a lot to me. They have allowed me to connect to myself in a deeper way than I ever have been able to before. 

    And I took a bunch of self-portraits either at the end of 2020 or early 2021 that I haven’t gone through yet, that I’ve talked about already, that I have a members only like webinar hangout thing where we’re gonna go through them together. I’ve already scheduled it, you’ll get a post about it when it’s coming up, I have like notifications that I’ll come onto the website to remind you like hey, this is happening soon! So that’ll be in like mid-November (the 18th at 6pm EST!).

    But those self portraits took that we’ll be looking through are really emotional and really personal to me and I’m feeling emotional thinking about them. Yeah, I really let myself feel all of my feelings when I was taking those photos and it was kind of scary and it was definitely vulnerable and I’m kind of nervous to share them with you, especially in their raw form where I haven’t done anything to them and can see all of them. But I’m also kind of excited, because I don’t really want to hide myself from y’all, like you’re supporting me so much by being here, so the least I can do is not hide myself from you. 

    So, I hope you join me in November (the 18th at 6pm EST!) when we go through those photos together because it’s going to be scary, but it’s gonna be awesome! They’re pretty dark, and I definitely cried when I was taking them, and yeah, it’s gonna be a lot but it’s going to be great. 

    To give you a little tiny bit more information about them before I end this video. I took them in my sister’s house after she moved out, and it was empty, before she sold it. And that’s where I was living when a lot of not-so-great things happened to me, and I had some not so great experiences there, so it was like my Releasing that house and the feelings that I felt in that house through feeling my feelings and taking self portraits in the house once it was empty. So it was a great release for me. And yeah, I’m laughing because I’m like trying to hold back tears. 

    Yeah, so I feel like self portraits are really important for me personally, in order to more fully embody how I feel and to more fully experience my life through creating them. So I hope you have enjoyed this video of me being kind of emotional and talking about self portraits. Yeah. 

    I think that’s all I have to say right now. I really appreciate that you’re here. It means the world to me. I couldn’t do any of this without you, so I appreciate you and I hope you enjoy what I share. I love you!

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  • MASS UPLOAD!!! + member’s only event scheduled

    March 6, 2021 /

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hi friends! It’s been a while, or it feels like it has because I pre-recorded the last couple of vlogs I did on here, but HIII!! So it’s officially March, which means that the changes have been started for my website. I still have a lot of work to do in terms of redoing my website, but I’ve already done a mass upload, so everything that was in First Look is now available for everyone! Which is really exciting because it was literally a fuck ton of things. I haven’t even counted but it’s like, a LOT. I kinda wanna see if I can find how many things it is… um…. 55 photosets and let’s see how many videos… 34 video folders, which means that most of those have multiple videos in them. It’s a fuck ton of things, literally like so many things! Right now I’m only uploading the First Look stuff. I still have a backlog that’s not as much content as this but it’s still the backlog that no one has seen yet, that I’ll be uploading later this month. I just wanted to go ahead and get First Look in there for yall because it’s a whole lot and I love the content that’s in there and just excited to share it with you. It’s so much, it’s kindof overwhelming. I’m going to link the directories in this post, because I’m not going to link every single photoset and video because that would take forever and I just did that for the 34 video folders and the how many was it? 55 photosets, I’ve already done that for the directory. So I’ll link to the directories below, there’s a photo directory and a video directory, and from there you can find what you want to look at. I have everything listed, you just click it and see things like you usually do in the directory. I’m really excited, it’s so much, so much!

    Let’s see, what else do I want to tell you? So this month also marks the beginning of our members only video hangout community education learning together, I don’t know what I want to call it yet, but video hangouts for us as members of my website, so excited! So I think I’ll be scheduling it for next Saturday the 13th, 1pm eastern. Very excited. It’ll be one hour of us hanging out and I think I’m going to have the topic as ecosexuality so we can have a whole conversation around that. I’ve already written down a lot of questions to ask yall that we can discuss together about ecosexuality. I’m going to go ahead and also link the zoom link invite thing down below. I’ll also resend that zoom link, I’m going to schedule a couple posts to remind yall that it’s next Saturday at 1pm and you gotta use the link to join so there’s that, I’m excited.

    I’m hoping maybe I’ll be able to have my rebranding of my website, redoing my website, I’m hoping to have it done by April? Maybe? And then hopefully also in April I might start doing nude gatherings, virtual nude gatherings. Nude gatherings was what I was really gung ho set on doing and moving forward with at the end of 2019 after doing a couple in 2019 in person and then covid happened and you know the rest. So I’m excited to take nude gatherings to the virtual realm! We’re going to see how that goes. I think I might start doing those in April maybe? Hopefully? I’ll of course let you know. The virtual nude gatherings, the official ones that I don’t have any dates for yet, hoping to maybe start in April. Those will be available for the public to pay to join, and I’m also going to have a discount code that I will give to all of yall so you can get in for free. Those nude gatherings you’ll have to sign up via the eventbrite link eventually once I make the site, so that’s coming, I just wanted to give you a head’s up because I’m excited.

    I do like doing these vlogs when I have things to tell you because I personally as a consumer of content really like to have a visual and audio thing to pay attention to instead of just reading so I like to offer that to yall so you have this and the transcript of this below so I’ll be doing that and uh…. *shrugs* anytime I have things to really talk to you about that are anything lengthy at all. If it’s short like “reminder! The member’s only gathering will be this day this time! Reminder!” If it’s that kind of thing I won’t do a video like this, but if it’s something like “hey let’s talk about something” I’ll probably do a video because I like to receive this kind of content so I hope that you also do.

    What else do I want to say? I think that’s about it right now so… RECAP!
    Lots and lots and lots of new content is now available for everyone to see, which is all of the First Look. The backlog that I have I’ll be uploading later this month, it’ll be part 2. It’s not as much as this, but this will take you a while to go through. Maybe I’ll do the backlog in April because this is just a lot. We’ll see. Either way I’ll let you know. Go enjoy the first look that is now… actually the first look folder no longer exists because it’s available for everybody now. I’ll be rebranding, redoing my website soon hopefully. I’ll start doing our members only events which will be once a month and the first one is next Saturday the 13th at 1pm eastern time and hopefully maybe April I’ll start doing virtual nude gatherings that yall will be able to access for free. So.. excited! I hope you’re excited too! I don’t know when I’ll be updating yall next, but here’s this. Yall have a LOT to look at. Okay, bye!!

    EDIT/ADDITION: It’s official, the member’s only event will be a VIRTUAL NUDE GATHERING (and we’ll discuss ecosexuality)!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! I’m stoked yall! In 2019 after facilitating 3 in-person nude gatherings I decided that they were the direction I wanted to go, they were the times that I LIVE for. We all know what happened in 2020. I’m so ready for the adventure + challenge of bringing these events online. So looking forward to seeing you there. <3

    Enjoy these samples from the mass upload, there are 55 photosets + 34 video folders, this small sample doesn’t even scratch the surface!!!!!!

    (Lior Allay double exposed with Bryce Canyon during the Backstage Pass event for GBTL)

    (Leopold, Canischromatis, Anon, Anon, + me – self portrait during Creative Nude Gathering Aug 2019)

    (self portrait on medium format film from the panoramic pinhole camera I made in college with my dad)

    (self portrait with Mommy)

    (Bainbridge Island with Jeff Waters + Tiffany Helms)

    (self portrait at Quinn’s in Tacoma)

    (self portrait in Joshua Tree)

    (Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)

    (Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)

    (Joshua Tree with Ellin Aldana)

    (Kara Perry photographs Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Wyoming + NC)

    (Kara Perry photographs Tatyebar wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Yellowstone)

    (Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin double exposed with Glacier National Park)

    (me photographed by Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin)

    (self portrait in Nevada)

    (self portrait in Utah)

    (self portrait in Utah)

    (self portrait in Utah)

    (self portrait in Utah)

    (self portrait in Colorado)

    (with Lior Allay in Pittsburgh)

    (self portrait with Lior Allay + Jacs Fishburne in Columbus Ohio)

    (with Lior Allay photographed by Jacs Fishburne)

    (Nashville Tennessee with Bashing Bagpipes)

    (Nashville Tennessee with Chris Widick)

    (self portrait in North Carolina)

    (self portrait in North Carolina)

    (with Mike Tyger in an abandoned house in North Carolina)

    (self portrait from 2010!!! BABY BUNNY! I was about 20 years old)

    MEMBERS ONLY NUDE GATHERING SIGN UP FREE HERE

    (password: BLMBR)

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  • Members-only events survey reminder!

    February 24, 2021 /

    YAYYYYY it’s official, I’m going to be hosting members-only events again starting in March!

    I plan on one members-only event per month to start off with with the potential to include more in the future.

    I want to do them a little differently than I did before by having a topic to focus on and expand on together. I also want to make sure I’m offering the events on days/times that the most people are available, so I’ve created a survey as an easy way for yall to let me know when works best for you and what topics you’re most interested in. I obviously can’t cater to everyone’s needs, but I will do my best.

    If you haven’t already answered this survey, please do so now! I will be making scheduling and topic decisions soon =D

    To help make all of our members-only event dreams come true, please answer this quick 5 question survey below!

    CLICK HERE FOR SURVEY (or fill out below)

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  • Members-only events!

    February 16, 2021 /

    YAYYYYY it’s official, I’m going to be hosting members-only events again starting in March!

    I plan on one members-only event per month to start off with with the potential to include more in the future.

    I want to do them a little differently than I did before by having a topic to focus on and expand on together. I also want to make sure I’m offering the events on days/times that the most people are available, so I’ve created a survey as an easy way for yall to let me know when works best for you and what topics you’re most interested in. I obviously can’t cater to everyone’s needs, but I will do my best.

    To help make all of our members-only event dreams come true, please answer this quick 5 question survey below!

    CLICK HERE FOR SURVEY (or fill out below)

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