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Sexualization + Consent
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello, lovely people! Okay, in my last video, I talked about how nudity is not sexual. It’s not inherently sexual, its sexual if you make it sexual based on context and consent. So in this video, I’m going to talk about sexualization and consent, because as someone who’s naked on the internet, I get a lot of unwanted sexual attention from people specifically cishet men. *cough* Who like, I don’t know why but they just… because I’m me having like my bare breasts or my bare ass on the internet does not mean I want your sexual attention. That just means I have naked pictures on the internet. That’s all that means.
I have been sexualized without my consent more times than I can count. Honestly, it was worse when I was on social media because I would get unsolicited dick pics or like masturbation videos from people that I had no idea who the fuck they were. Those are extremely uncomfortable to receive. If you are somebody who thinks that’s a good idea, it’s not. That’s only a good idea if the other person literally asks you for it. That’s the only time it’s a good idea to send a dick pic or masturbation video. I promise you. Nobody wants to see it unless they are literally asking you for it. Okay, If I don’t want to be like “AHHHHH” this whole time but I might.
So I know that there are some people who will sexualize me, just because I’m naked, because that’s the only way that they understand nudity. And I’d while I don’t agree with that because nudity is not inherently sexual. I understand that to a degree because our society, especially here in the United States. Our society is so like puritanical and it hides nudity from us unless they’re trying to sell us something and then they give us a lot of nudity and a lot of like tits and ass just to be like “here buy this thing”. So like the context around nudity in general, in our culture in the United States is really dysfunctional. So I know that there are people who are going to sexualize me just because I am naked on the internet. I don’t have any control over that. And people can do what they want to do with their own free time in their own private space. Like I… whatever their life is their life.
Whenever they bring that sexual energy and that sexual attention into my like conscious awareness and whenever they like, push that into my, like, bubble of like my life, that’s when we have a problem because that is not consensual. I do not consent to being sexualized. If you do it and never tell me about it and like never mention it and, like, it’s not a thing that I’m aware of like whatever.
But as soon as you’re like, “yeah I masturbated to your video last night” or “oh my god, you’re so hot. I want to fuck you.” If you like send me a DM or something like that, that is… you do not have my consent to do that. That is a breach of my consent. I… no. I don’t consent to any of that. That’s when we have a problem. When you’re sexualizing me to my face or virtually to my face. You don’t have my consent to do that. I… no, I don’t tolerate. Yeah, that’s that’s when we have a problem, a big problem.
I do not consent to being sexualized. I don’t. If I wanted to be sexualized by someone, I would actually tell them. I’m a very communicative person in that regard. And if I wanted to have like a sexual situation with someone, then I would make that very clear. So, if I have not, which I probably haven’t with most people, yeah, I… you don’t have my consent.
Yeah, I don’t want to be like “I’m really angry and I’m bitching at the internet about it” for this whole video, but that’s kind of what it is and… it’s come to that. I don’t have much patience for this kind of shit anymore. I’ve been naked on the internet since 2010 and I have gotten a fuck ton of attention that I did not want because it was sexual. And I’m done doing that. So if you come at me in a sexual way, and I don’t even fucking know you, you better bet your ass that I’m going to block you. You don’t have my consent. You’re breaking consent. Your breaching consent. It’s non-consensual, so that’s what you’re choosing to do. So then I’m choosing to get you out of my space. Because that’s my choice.
I hope some people can relate to this. I know I have a lot of friends in the, like photography, nude modeling world, that would relate to this. But I don’t know if the average usual person would relate to this. But yeah, if you didn’t get anything else out of this video, I hope that you at least get this message that I’m saying: if you are sexualizing me, you don’t have my consent to do that. So it’s only okay to do that if you do it, when I have no fucking idea it’s happening. In your own space on your own time. Not involving me at all. I do not consent to being sexualized. Nope. I don’t. No. I don’t want to be a part of your sexual fantasy. Yes. I’m naked. That has nothing to do with sex. See my other video if you’re confused.
Watch my video: nudity is not inherently sexual
I don’t consent to being sexualized. So don’t do it and especially don’t do it and bring my attention to it. I don’t want to fucking know, that’s none of my business. And my sexuality is not your business. I’m naked. Yes, but that has nothing to do with sex. Okay, the end.
Yeah. Okay. I hope this video wasn’t too harsh for you. Maybe I did need to push some buttons. Maybe I did need to be harsh to get my point across but I yeah, I’m just fucking tired of getting unsolicited dick pics and unsolicited sexual attention. None of those are consensual. So yeah. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Okay, if you have any information about things that you would like to see me share, I’m going to put a survey below and you can let me know what you want to see for me. Otherwise, thank you for being here on my website. I love you so much. I might sound angry from earlier. But yeah, I’ve allowed to be angry. I’ve been… my consent has been breached a lot of times. So it’s about time for me to be upset about it. Okay. I love you. I hope every great day and I’ll talk to you soon!
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Nudity is not inherently sexual
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi, good morning. Well, I don’t know if it’s morning where you are, but it’s morning here at my house right now when I’m creating this so good morning. My voice is a little weird, but it’ll be fine. So I’ve been talking a lot about nudity recently and I’m gonna keep that trend going for this video.
I’m going to talk about how nudity is not inherently sexual. I think this is important for a lot of people to hear because I think in our current patriarchal puritanical culture nudity is either shamed or sexualized or sexualized to sell something or just like hidden in general, which kind of goes along with the shaming part. And I just want to talk about it. Let’s talk about it. Obviously. Like I’m naked right now, so I don’t believe any of those things that I just said, in terms of it being shameful or sexual. So yeah, let’s talk about it.
Okay, so we were all born naked. Like we didn’t come out with clothes on. And that is not a sexual experience whatsoever. We have to get naked to shower and that’s not a sexual experience. I mean, it could be, but it’s not inherently a sexual experience. showers are for getting clean, you know, washing your body. You have to be naked to be able to wash your body. There’s nothing sexual about it. People who have had a baby and if they are breastfeeding, that is a way that they are either nude or partially nude… in order, to perform a function like to feed their baby. That’s not sexual.
There are so many things you can do naked. And it has nothing to do with sex. Like, you can clean your house naked. You can go on a walk naked. Well, if you have a safe enough place to go on a walk naked. You can cook naked… maybe with an apron to protect your skin if there’s gonna be any like popping oil or something, but like literally there’s so many things you can do, naked that have nothing to do with sex or sexuality or like being sexual and it doesn’t make sense to me I guess because I grew up in a house where nudity was not a big deal. And I really feel like people who grew up in a really like, “let’s hide that away. This is shameful, nudity is bad.” The people that grew up that way are the ones who grew up thinking that anything that’s nude is inherently sexual because like, “oh, that was something I was not allowed to experience when I was younger so there must be something about it that’s like bad or reason why I shouldn’t have experienced it so maybe that means that it’s all sexual.”
It’s not… this is not a sexual video. I am 100% naked. I’m not wearing anything. I don’t even have socks on, like this is not a sexual video whatsoever. I’m naked and it’s not sexual. Who woulda thought?!
Okay. So on the other side of that. So nudity is not inherently sexual… on the other side of that, you can be completely 100% covered in clothes and be in a sexual situation. The sex part has nothing to do with the clothing or not clothing part. They’re totally separate. Completely separate. I wish more people would understand this, and I’m not sure how to articulate it in a way that people will understand, because it just like makes sense to me, and when things make sense, I don’t always know how to explain it because it’s like, “yeah, duh.” So I just like, I don’t know. I’m trying to, I’m trying to describe this to y’all in a way that might hopefully change some people’s minds or maybe plant a seed.
So from my opinion, and I hope there are a lot of other people that also have this opinion. I’m pretty sure there are. Things that are sexual whether it’s sexual or not is based on the context and whether or not there’s consent. So context is so important! This context right now, I’m making a video and talking to you about something. So that is more of like an educational or informational context. That’s not sexual. Yes, I’m naked, I have no clothes on, but this is not a sexual context.
Another example, let me give you a clothing as sexual context. Maybe I am on a date with someone and we already have like a sexual dynamic going on and there’s consent involved and they know… I know, or they know, or we both know ideally, we both know that there’s consent in terms of like, yeah, let’s make this a sexual interaction, but maybe we’re fully clothed. But maybe we’re like really flirty. And yeah, that could definitely be sexual with no nudity, with lots of clothes, fully clothed. Context and consent matters.
Okay. I don’t wanna repeat myself too much. I feel like you hopefully have gotten the point by now. I don’t know how to explain this in any other way at this moment. But if I think of something, I’ll make another video. But bottom line, nudity is not inherently sexual. If you’re naked, that’s not an invitation for sex. Or sexual attention. Period. The end.
OK, I hope you got a lot out of this video. I hope you enjoyed it. Do you have something you’d like to hear from me? I have a survey, you can let me know what kind of content you would like to see. I’ll link it below. Thank you for being here. It means the world to me that you are even on my website at all. Thank you! I love you!
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How To Get Someone Naked
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends. I have heard a lot of questions recently from people regarding nudity. So I’m going to kind of dive into that for the next couple of videos. And this one, this video is going to be about how to get someone naked. And I chose that title for a reason because it’s kind of misleading. It’s more like click baity than anything. But this is true. I will share with you how to get someone naked… if they already want to get naked.
So number one, consent is the most important thing. If they want to get naked, they’re going to get naked. If they don’t want to get naked, do not force them. You can’t just get someone naked. That’s why I titled it this because I’m hoping that someone that needs to hear this is going to find it.
If you want someone to be naked and they don’t want to be naked, that is their choice. Not yours. They get to choose what to do with their body. If they don’t want to get naked, you have no control over that. All you can do is accept it and say, okay, cool thanks. Period.
So if you are around someone who you’ve discussed things with and they are consenting to be naked potentially, but they’re not ready for it quite yet, but they’re open to the idea. Here’s how you do it. We are never going to, like I would never encourage someone to coerce someone into something. That is not what we do. That is not consent. Coercion is not consent. Asking someone over and over and over again until they say yes is not consent.
If someone is already curious and excited about the idea of getting naked and they’re just not quite sure when or where or how yet, you can create an environment that makes them feel safe, and give them the space that this is a clothing-optional environment. This is a clothing optional space. And then maybe they might decide that they want to get naked.
So, a couple ways you can do this, to create a space that’s safe and comfortable for nudity. It’s usually best to start off with a place that’s private, somewhere in your house, a room. Maybe if there’s like a private backyard, if you want to be outside, privacy is pretty important. If you’re going to be doing something that someone is not used to doing, I’m kind of used to it, but a lot of people are not, so privacy would probably be my number one helpful thing. If you have a private place where you know you’re not going to be disturbed and where the person is able to feel comfortable and know that they’re in a safe space. That would be awesome. Private safe space.
You can make that private space more comfortable by maybe regulating the temperature of the space. Is it too cold? Is it too hot? Can you make the space at a comfortable temperature for nudity, a comfortable temperature, for nudity, might be different than a regular comfortable temperature with clothes on. You can have comfy things around like pillows and blankets maybe, so some restful time and space.
Maybe you… if it’s okay with them, maybe you get comfortable and naked first. If they consent to you also being naked, that way you can introduce them to like being nude in the space that they’re in, in a non-sexual way, in a non like pushy way. Because you’re the one that’s getting naked. You’re like opening that door of like, this is now a clothing-optional space. If you get naked, they might also feel comfortable to get naked if they know that there’s like an even playing field.
Yeah, also just give them permission, let them know that is clothing optional. It’s not, “if you’re here you have to be naked”, or “if you’re here you have to be clothed”. They get to choose what to do with their body and how much or how little clothes they have on in that space. Like if you just, if you make that a known thing, if you communicate that with them, that’s kind of… that’s the recipe for success, a good private safe, comfortable space, where clothing optional is a thing, without any pressure or expectation on them and letting them choose what’s best for them. That’s how you get someone naked if they want to already be naked, if they already want to, that’s how you do it. But you can’t force them. I will forever remind you. Yeah, that’s how you get someone naked. If they already want to be naked, make it a comfy safe space.
I hope you have some fun naked times with friends, if they want to be naked and you want to be naked. Yeah, you might also… sometimes it’s good to have an activity or something to do like play a board game or something. Because if you’re just like sitting there twiddling your thumbs staring at each other naked it’s a little awkward. But if you have like a thing to work towards or something to like occupy your hands, or your thoughts, that also might make it a little more comfy, so it’s not as much pressure on, like, “oh my gosh. I’m naked and people are staring at me.” It’s more like, “okay, this is just another day, and we’re doing random normal fun friend things. It’s just we also happen to not have clothes on.” That’s how you do it. Okay. I love you. Thank you for being here. I hope this isn’t too long. I tend to repeat myself. Okay, I love you! Bye.
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Ecosexual memes!!
I was sharing memes on instagram that included nude images but deleted them all when ig did their most recent update to the terms of service because I was scared of getting my account deleted AGAIN. My original account with 22.6k followers got deleted in October 2018 and I never got it back, so I really would like that to NOT happen again.
I still love the memes that I made and want to share them, so here are some of the ones that I used to have on my ig before I deleted them!
Original caption:
I first heard about ecosexuality through Charles Eisenstein’s essay “The Ecosexual Awakening” and ever since then my life has changed. I now see my entire life through an ecosexual lens. I truly believe that ecosexuality can assist in healing our society and our world.
I personally avoid saying “mother Earth” because mothers are (unfortunately, thanks to patriarchy) frequently exploited. It’s assumed that mothers are required to do all or most of the housework, cooking, childcare, etc and their work usually is unpaid and unappreciated. I have no intention of doing this to my actual mother or to the Earth.
My relationship to the Earth is one of reverence, worship, wonder, and love. I view the Earth as a best friend, teacher, partner, and lover. I strive to live my life in loving relationship to the Earth and receive such immense pleasure from simply being with and spending time with the Earth.
The Earth is sacred. We must treat it as sacred.
Photo, model + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah during my 2019 cross country road trip)
Original caption:
I personally use both ecosexual and demisexual as my primary sexual and romantic identities. Ecodemisexual maybe? Can I make that a thing? I think I will! It’s my own label so I am able to use what works best for ME.
If you consider yourself an ecosexual, you’re able to use that label in the way that works best for you. Anyone who says you SHOULD or HAVE TO use a label doesn’t have the right to do that, only you get to decide what label(s) work(s) best for you. The label(s) you use may or may not change over time, and that’s okay! Only you know what label(s) describe you best. How you identify is up to you, not anyone else.
Do you consider yourself an ecosexual? I have a feeling that more people probably are than they realize, simply because most people aren’t aware of what ecosexuality is. The understanding of labels makes it easier for us to know which ones are right for us.
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Ecosexuality as an identity/label covers a broad range of experiences and in my opinion can be used to describe many different things about someone. For example: sexual attraction to others (including the Earth) while also covering a range of sexual desires (from asexual to allosexual), the importance of ecological health and healing to an individual, and their understanding of the interconnectedness of all beings, creatures, ecosystems, and life on Earth.
For me, as an agender trans person, most sexuality labels didn’t feel like they fit me because of the gender component of a lot of LGBTQIA+ labels, some are too narrow and some are too broad. It took me a long time to find a label that fit me, that felt GOOD to use and felt TRUE to my lived experience. Ecosexuality allows me to explain my attraction to others in a way that includes the nuance of my gender, my demisexuality, and my passion and love for the Earth.
To be specific, I am ecodemi, and for me that means I am attracted to people of many gender expressions, and it’s the connection and interaction that I have with them, and the way they show up in the world, that determines my attraction to them.
Your specific definition of your ecosexuality may be similar to mine, or it may be completely different. That’s the beauty and magic of ecosexuality, as long as it includes the Earth as a lover, it can mean something different for each of us.
What’s your flavor of ecosexuality? Comment below, I’d love to hear your perspective/experience!
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Have you ever seen a flower dripping with dew on a spring morning and marveled at its beauty and eroticism, feeling the urge to put your mouth on its delicate petals?
Have you ever felt your body come alive after jumping naked into a river, flushed with excitement and pleasure?
Have you ever become aroused while surrounded by a forest of tall thick trees, their presence changing something deep inside of you?
Do you yearn for the warmth of the sun’s rays on your skin, the cool squish of mud between your toes, the gentle breeze softly reminding you that we all exist on an Earth that offers infinite sensual pleasures?If you feel a connection to any of those questions, or a longing for these sensual experiences, you might be an ecosexual.
What is your favorite way to connect to the erotic, sensual Earth?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
I want to talk about two topics that honestly deserve their own individual posts: sex and consent.
Let’s rethink our definition of what sex is. In this cisheteropatriarchal society, we are conditioned to believe that sex is P in V penetration. This definition excludes many people from the sex conversation, including but not limited to queer and disabled folks.
I invite us to redefine sex as any consensual, meaningful, pleasurable experience. This gives ALL of us room to define what sex is to us, individually. This means that a lot of us are probably having sex much more than we ever thought we were before.
Notice that this definition of sex includes CONSENT? This is extremely important, because if you don’t have consent, then it’s not sex, it’s rape.
Consent in relationship to the Earth is just as important as consent with people. It is possible to communicate with and receive consent from the Earth, it just doesn’t include the language that we are used to (verbal consent). Consent from the Earth may come in the form of an energetic pull or a felt sense knowing. It may come in the form of a dream or a whisper in the wind. It may come in the form of a being joining you in meditation to give you a message or a sign.
Consent with the Earth isn’t always as straightforward as consent with people. We have to listen harder, feel deeper, and trust that the Earth will share their message with us when they are ready. We must not rush, or push, or pry, or force. We must be quiet, and open to receive.
Have you received consent from the Earth? What was that experience like for you?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
If we have learned one thing from this pandemic, it’s that we are ALL interconnected. This doesn’t only involve the interconnectedness of people, but also our connection to animals, plants, insects, bacteria, forests, oceans, deserts, rivers. We all exist together on this planet, we are all connected, and we all influence each other whether we realize it or not.
Part of my personal ecosexuality is recognizing the impact of colonization, cisheteropatriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, racism, ageism, ableism (…all the -isms). Recognizing that these systems of oppression exist and impact each other and every one of us (including the Earth). As beings existing on this planet at this time we are all a part of these systems, whether we realize it or not, whether we see the direct impact we make or not.
This also means that we each individually have the potential to make POSITIVE CHANGE in ourselves and our communities, which in turn impacts the rest of the planet. Every action and every inaction adds up for each and every one of us.
Imagine what the world would be like if we all collectively chose to live in right relationship with the Earth and each other. If we all actively put in the work to decolonize societies and the planet. If we all live from a heart-centered place, with healthy boundaries and an understanding of how powerful we are. If we all live our lives from a place of love, compassion, generosity, and empathy instead of from a place of fear and separation. This is the world I want to live in.
When did you first realize how connected you are to the rest of the world?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
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MEMES! Gender, labels, + consent, oh my!
I was sharing memes on instagram that included nude images but deleted them all when ig did their most recent update to the terms of service because I was scared of getting my account deleted AGAIN. My original account with 22.6k followers got deleted in October 2018 and I never got it back, so I really would like that to NOT happen again.
I still love the memes that I made and want to share them, so here are some of the ones that I used to have on my ig before I deleted them!
Original caption:
Photo: Chip Willis
Model + meme: me, Bunny LunaI am angry today so I am channeling that anger into making my first ever meme. Hah, it’s funny that I’m choosing this as my first post since my hibernation. (TW: breach of consent) This meme is dedicated to the TWO middle aged white men who assumed it was okay to touch me without consent yesterday.
They obviously felt entitled to my body because I have a vulva and am younger than them? One rubbed my freshly cut hair on the top of my head, without asking or commenting or anything, just touched me out of nowhere. The other literally pulled me by the arm so I could pose for him in front of some photos of mine, and then proceeded to move my arm to get me to pose in a certain way. He didn’t even ASK if I wanted to take a photo. I told him my rates, and he laughed.
Original caption:
Labels are complicated, and have the potential to be both positive AND negative. As someone who has learned a lot about themself over the last year, and changed quite a bit, labels have been something I’ve honestly struggled with. It’s easy to say that labels are not important, and they don’t have to be if you don’t want them to, but for some people they’re incredibly important, especially when you’re trying to figure out who you are.
Labels are positive in that they help us figure out what space we occupy in the world, they help us describe ourselves to others, and they help us find community and people who are similar to us. Labels can be negative when people assume incorrect things about us, put is in boxes that don’t fit us, or when they refuse to see us for who we really are.
It feels awful to be labeled as something you’re not, and it feels amazing and is so affirming when someone uses the correct label(s) to describe you. No matter what, only YOU can choose what labels are right for you. There is nobody who knows you better than yourself.
Some labels that I personally use because they feel right and true for me: non binary, queer, ecosexual, non monogamous, artist, witch, demisexual, creative, sproutling (my mom came up with this to describe me to others instead of saying that I’m her adult child and I love it!)
What labels do you use that feel authentic to you?
Self portrait taken in Utah during my 69 day cross country road trip in 2019 (before I cut my hair obviously).
Original caption:
Never touch anyone without their explicit consent. Yes, this includes hugs with friends and family, asking or talking about someone’s tattoos/clothes/hair, directing a model for a photoshoot, posing with another model, kissing your crush…
The ONLY exception to this that I can think of is if that person is in immediate danger and there is literally no time to ask for consent.
Keep in mind, consent is not only for physical touch. You should also get consent when flirting with someone, commenting on someone’s body, sharing difficult or potentially triggering information, sharing a story someone told you with someone else, posting photos of people… basically if it involves someone else, you probably need their consent.
Have something to share about consent? I’d love to read your thoughts/stories in the comments!
Words: Douglas Pierce
Photo + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
I didn’t save the caption for this one, but it’s pretty self explanatory. =]
Original caption:
I am not the person I was a year ago, or last week, or yesterday. You probably aren’t either. We are all on perpetual journeys of growth and expansion. Every day we learn something about ourselves, every day we become a newer version of who we know ourselves to be.
Without change there is no innovation, no deeper understanding, no growth. You are a bottomless ocean filled with gifts unknown, until you dive in and explore your depths.
Photo + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Colorado)
Original caption:
I recently had a really difficult conversation about my gender with a family member who is unwilling to do the work to understand and accept me for who I am. Their response to my being non binary was that I’ going through an “identity crisis” and it’s something that I’ll “grow out of” once I figure myself out.
It’s especially frustrating to me that they feel that way, because I know myself better now that I ever have. I know that I can’t make them see me for who I truly am, and that’s their work to do, not mine. It still hurts that someone I love doesn’t actually know me and instead chooses to only see me as the person they thought I was when I was younger and didn’t know myself.
I will continue to correct them when they misgender me (which is something I am constantly struggling with and tend to just stay quiet about it), because I want them to know that this is ME, not an “identity crisis” that I’ll “grow out of”
Sending lots of love to all of my trans siblings who have to deal with this every day. It’s really hard, and you deserve to be honored and acknowledged in your gender. I see you. I honor you. You are valid and important and I love you for WHO YOU ARE.
Photo/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Colorado)
Original caption:
I moved through the first 28ish years of my life carrying the layers of expectations and assumptions of society that were thrown on top of me as a child before I knew I had any other option. Now that I know more about how the world works, I realize that I’ve been holding on to many things that are not truly mine. Parts of me buckled under that oppressive weight of binary gender, compulsory cis hetero monogamy, religion, racism, and capitalism (among others).
I am choosing to let go of the layers of anything that is not for the benefit of myself and the earth. It is a constant shedding, and it is not easy, but it is worth it. I wake every day with less of what isn’t mine so that I can understand what truly IS for me. I learn who I am by questioning.
Self portrait in Colorado
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New video: Ecosexuality & Consent
This is the 4th of my 9 part ecosexual exploration series that I will be doing via Youtube livestream every Monday throughout June and July! I describe how consent fits into ecosexuality and how to understand and communicate consent from the Earth and plants.
Schedule for livestreams: bunnyluna.com/schedule
Book a one on one video chat with me: bunnyluna.com/offerings
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