• Self Portraits with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn

    Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:

    • vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn
    • 29 image complete photoset
    • 11 videos from a family vacation in Tennessee in 2018 (WHYYYYYY do I hoard content?! haha)
    • 16.5+ minute nude energy medicine yoga video with my mom! She gives verbal cues so you can do it with us!

    First Look members now have access to:

    • everything above
    • 52 image complete self portrait photoset in Goblin Valley (Enclosed)
    • 5.5 minutes of BTS video

    Become a member to gain instant access!

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 10th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Thanks to you wonderful members I met the “take a mini trip with Antisocialdisposition” goal a couple months ago and we took our trip a couple weeks ago. We left home on a Friday afternoon and got to our airbnb a little after 3pm. When we arrived all the power was out in the area. Thankfully we didn’t need it at that time anyway because we left not long after we got there to get a late lunch. We are at a Caribbean style restaurant in a nearby town (which was super delicious!) and the power was back on before we got back.

    I took a bunch of self portraits in the house that afternoon and that night we took advantage of the giant luxurious bathtub in our bedroom by taking a bath with the Nightshift bath bomb from bloodlilybath. Oh my goodness, it smelled like flowers and dirt (which I love) and it made my skin super soft! I’ve uploaded a video to the videos folder if you want to watch it dissolve. =]

    On Saturday we woke up at 5:15am to get to our waterfall location by sunrise and before anyone else got there. We had an entire hour to ourselves before anyone else showed up! Our timing was perfect because we had just finished getting ready to leave when an older couple showed up. We wanted to go to another waterfall location but when we got there it was only an overlook and there were already people there fishing. I want to find the trail to the bottom next time we go.

    We had lunch back at our airbnb and then headed out again that afternoon for more hiking. We went to a section of the Appalachian Trail on Roan Mountain and hiked for about 4 miles. There were other people hiking but we still managed to take a lot of photos right off of the trail. We can be pretty sneaky and quick so we didn’t run into any issues. There was one person who walked by while I was struggling to put my dress back on but either they didn’t notice me or they pretended not to notice me. Haha!

    After our photo hike we had another relaxing evening in the bathtub, of course! We used another bloodlilybath bath bomb called Darkened Soul that turns the water black! AD took some film photos of me in the bath before he joined me.

    It rained all that night so instead of getting up and hiking again on Sunday like we planned, we slept in and took our time checking out. It rained most of the day but we enjoyed our drive home. We took the scenic route down the Blue Ridge Parkway and stopped for lunch in Asheville. We are at a vegan place called The Laughing Seed and it was SO DELICIOUS! I cleaned my plate! There’s a photo of my lunch in the folder for the trip if you wanna see what I got. =]

    I hope you enjoy these self portraits I took in our airbnb. I’ll be uploading the film from our hikes and the black bath in the coming weeks so stay tuned for those!

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    I’ve uploaded 11 videos from our trip, check them out to see what our airbnb looked like, to watch the bath bomb video, and see me hanging out nude on the porch!

    All members have access to this complete 58 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.

  • Desert Rock Self Portraits

    Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:

    • vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset of me in the rocky desert in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
    • 34 image complete photoset
    • 2 minutes of BTS video

    First Look members now have access to:

    • everything above
    • 37 image complete self portrait photoset of me in Goblin Valley (Between)
    • 2.5 minutes of BTS video

    Become a member to gain instant access!

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 3rd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is actually ME vs what has been planted into my brain by our culture, specifically American culture. I want to challenge culture.

    Ok, I guess I probably should explain. Let’s talk about everyday life and things that are “normal.” You get up in the morning, take a shower, put on your gender-appropriate clothes, and get ready for your day. You leave your house or apartment and drive or take public transportation to work or school. You see other people looking the way they “should” look ie: wearing “appropriate” clothes, women wearing makeup with their hair done, men with short hair and possibly facial hair etc. You go about your day, eat at a restaurant or get something take out or delivered for lunch, finish your day at work or school, and come home to your significant other (most likely of the opposite sex). Sounds pretty normal, right? Of course, because it’s what American culture has taught us is normal.

    Well, what would your everyday life be like if you lived in a remote area as a member of a community that doesn’t have the internet or even power, who hunts and gathers and gardens for their food? Normal everyday life would probably be waking up when the sun comes up, doing your duties for the community such as hunting or gathering or gardening, eating meals with family & friends, and telling stories by a fire before you go to bed only an hour or two after sundown.

    “Normal” is different for everyone depending on where and how they grew up. American culture tells us that there is a formula you have to follow in order to be “normal.” If you’re not “normal” those who are very deep into American culture don’t know what to do with you and call you a freak or beat you up or judge you or something else that’s not very nice.

    WHY do we (people with American culture deeply ingrained in them) assume that anyone that’s not like us is bad or weird or stupid or in need of our help to become more like us? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same. I want to live in a DIVERSE world where there are a multitude of different cultures, ideas, and points of view.

    I want to challenge culture. I want to experience things that are not “normal.” I want to do, wear, listen to, be a part of things that make me HAPPY and because I WANT TO, not because it’s expected of me or because that’s what everyone else is doing.

    What do you do every day to follow culture?

    What do you do every day to follow your HEART?

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    This week I’ve uploaded a special acrobatic nude video of me hanging out of a tree!

    I’ve also included 2 aerial silks videos from when I was first learning scorpion. One video is me doing scorpion for an entire minute. It doesn’t seem like that long until you’re hanging by your legs doing a backbend, then a minute is a long time! Haha The other is of me doing a skin the cat exit from scorpion. =]

    This month I’m starting a monthly nude yoga video! I’ll be uploading that in the next week or two, look for that soon. Yay! I’m really looking forward to creating these yoga videos. I don’t have a great camera for video but I do what I can, it just limits me to videos at 10 minutes maximum length. I have a future goal of buying a nice video-capable digital camera so every pledge helps me get a little closer to higher quality videos just for you!

    All members have access to this complete 31 image self portrait photoset by clicking here, the 34 image photoset by clicking here, and all the videos by clicking here.

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 27th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Kristy Jessica/Pure Rebel had just gotten into town an hour or two before I picked her up. I drove us to my parents house (ok, you can probably tell I love being there and creating there) and I told her my ideas for our shoot. I had already prepped a roll of film by taking flower & nature images to double expose over. I wanted to take silhouettes to show off the doubles & the great lines and shapes I knew Kristy would create. She did some wonderful and strong yoga poses! I then got some crystals together and arranged them around her for the rest of our photos. We listened to Red Hot Chili Peppers while we shot. Afterward we walked around one of the ponds in the neighborhood before I drove her home. I enjoyed talking to her, she’s a smart, talented, and compassionate person.

     It was so incredibly difficult to choose which pictures to post today! There are so many amazing ones, I hope you have the time to look through them all!

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    I’ve added 2 behind the scenes timelapses from our shoot so don’t forget to check the video folder!

    All members have access to this complete 36 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.

  • Formations at Dusk Self Portraits

    Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:

    • vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset I took in Utah during my cross county road trip last summer
    • 37 image complete photoset
    • 2 minutes of BTS video
    • 19 minute video talking about reparations (content warning: I speak about injustice and violence toward BIPOC)

    First Look members now have access to:

    • everything above
    • 36 image complete double exposure photoset I took of Eva Luna & Kisa Hues outside of Portland
    • 15.5 minutes of BTS video

    Become a member to gain instant access!

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.

    Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.

    What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?

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    To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.

    All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.

  • Desert Dusk Self Portraits in Utah

    Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:

    • vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset I took in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
    • 56 image complete photoset
    • 4 minutes of BTS video
    • 14 photos & 8 videos from exploring Arabia Mountain outside of Atlanta GA last year (this includes videos of me absolutely BLOWN AWAY because there was a fucking BILLBOARD with my NAME ON IT basically telling me to get a divorce lol)
    • 8+ minute nude yoga video

    First Look members now have access to:

    • everything above
    • 36 image complete photoset I took of Eva Luna & Kisa Hues at a nude beach outside of Portland Oregon
    • 30.5 minutes of BTS video

    Become a member to gain instant access!

  • HAPPINESS / FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 13th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    I know this is kind of obvious but honestly it’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself sometimes. I need to remind myself occasionally, which is partly why I’m even writing this.

    The first thing you do in the morning after waking up, the first thing after getting home from work, and last thing you do before you go to bed should be something for YOU and your happiness. Or if that schedule doesn’t work for you, then choose at least 3 times throughout your day that work. Start off with those 3 times daily and add more whenever you can! It doesn’t have to be something big/major/elaborate.

    Part of my morning ritual is to pull 2 oracle cards for the day and pick out 5-7 small(ish) crystals to carry with me all day. It takes only a minute or 2 but starts my day off right and on a positive note. It’s something I can easily do every morning that’s just for me. I have a bad habit of getting home from work and immediately starting dishes or laundry or some other kind of housework. (EDIT 2020: I have since realized that house care like dishes and laundry are honestly self care too.) I’ll be working on doing things for myself after work along with you! Something that might count for me is driving home with the windows down. It makes me so happy to have the wind in my face and hair and to hear the wind and nothing else. See? These things can be very simple, but anything that makes you smile, laugh, or lifts your spirit is worth doing as often as possible (as long as you’re not harming anyone else, of course).

    My end of the day happiness/thing I do for me is shuffle my oracle cards and put away my crystals. It’s a nice mindless and almost meditative activity to do right before bed and helps me pick the cards and crystals quickly in the mornings. At night I also like to read or spend time with AD if he’s home. (EDIT 2020: My current rituals are very different than my rituals from 3 years ago. Everything shifts and changes over time, and that’s wonderful! Experimentation and novelty is nourishing for our hearts. I hope your rituals have the space to morph and grow too <3 )

    What is something simple you can do for yourself every day?

    What makes you happy that you can incorporate into your everyday life and routine?

    Your happiness is SO important! Make it a priority and your whole life will change. <3

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    Check out the videos folder for 3 hula hooping videos! The weekend I took these I was in such a wonderful mood the entire time and I was spending it with my family. My dad even hooped with me and my sister Gemini in one of the videos! =D He made these GIANT hoops that are as tall as I am.

    All members have access to this complete 49 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.