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Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I am doing this video a week in advance and prepping this week’s content a week in advance also because when this will be happening, when I usually would have been recording this and sharing it I will be in Durham with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. I wanted to do this early so that I could really focus on being present with Lior and Roarie while we’re in person together in Durham. I’m so excited. By the time this video comes out the event will already have happened, but if you missed it and didn’t get to sign up for the Backstage Pass event, I’m going to link below to all the information about it, because if you missed it, I’m not sure how, but just in case I’m going to put the link below. (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) If you missed the event, because this is going to be coming out on January 2nd and the event is December 30th. If you missed the event and you didn’t sign up and you’re like “oh nooo I really wanted to watch yall create together and I really wanted to see what questions you answered and I wanted to be a part of that and I totally forgot!” or whatever, you can donate $11 or more to me or Lior or Roarie or I can link our bigcartel shop below which is where you can donate, there’s a lot of different amounts you can donate, but if you donate $11 or more we will send you the recording! (CLICK HERE TO DONATE) So if you missed it and you’re kicking yourself for it, email me or something and I can get you set up. So yeah $11 or more and you can get the recording, yay!
Okay now back to website things. This week I’m sharing a photoset that I took in the summer of 2019 with Eva Luna and KH and this was outside of Portland Oregon. We went to a nude beach, which was amazing and probably my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland. There’s a lot of places I went and I can’t say that I had one particular favorite over the whole trip, actually maybe I can I have a couple of favorites, but… In terms of my time in Portland, my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland was this nude beach. I just love being places where it’s expected for you to be naked, who would have known haha. Places where it’s okay to be naked out in nature to me are super important and super my kind of places so yeah this was a very fun shoot. I met up with Eva and KH and we drove together to this nude beach and we hung out for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures and it was super fun. I did have an upsetting thing happen while we were there. So earlier in my road trip when I was in Joshua Tree I posed for Moss Von Faustenberg and he took several polaroids and he gave me 3 or 4 of them which I was super excited about because I love having tangible things and also the photos were really amazing. So these polaroids I had in my camera bag and when we were shooting we didn’t want to lug all of our stuff all around the beach the whole time, so we found a nice spot just in the woods right off of the beach. There was this little clearing and we put all our stuff there and kept an eye on it as much as we could. We didn’t keep an eye on our stuff well enough because someone went through our stuff and I…. guess, I don’t know, they must not have cared much about stealing cameras or phones or credit cards. They just moved our stuff around and the only thing they stole from me, they stole those polaroids, and I was very sad. But I was also very thankful that it wasn’t like my whole camera bag or my phone or keys or credit card or ID or all the things, I could have been so screwed. All they stole was… I had this tin, it was like a tin that chocolate came in from Switzerland, it was like swiss chocolate, used to be swiss chocolate, it was a tin that had swiss chocolate in it, it was the perfect size to keep polaroids in. I had the polaroids in it and this like crinkley rainbowey holographicy shiny clearish paper plasticky stuff that was really fun to put in front of the lens to get cool light and color and stuff. That film paper stuff and the polaroids were in that tin and that tin is the only thing that got stolen. I guess they really liked the nude polaroids and didn’t care about my camera and credit card? I’m very thankful that that’s all they stole but also I’m really sad because the only evidence I have of those polaroids is a really short video that I took of the polaroids. If you’re in the first look tier, the Nov 28th post that I did when I shared the like fuck ton of stuff that I was a part of in Joshua Tree, you can see that really short video that includes the polaroids in it, in that content. So that’s the only evidence of those polaroids that I have. I was supposed to have the physical polaroids that I was bringing home, but they didn’t make it. Somebody stole them when I was in Portland. I was really sad about that, but I was also very thankful that it wasn’t anything more crucial that they stole from me because I could have been really screwed. Those photos, these are the single exposures that I took of Eva and KH and also I’m sharing the BTS video from that shoot. I think they’re amazing photos I’m so excited.
For First look this week I’m sharing a self portrait photoset that I took with my mom and some behind the scenes video from that. The self portraits that I took with my mom we took them in this room, my bedroom. This was before I moved in here again so this room was empty and we took advantage of that space. I’m gonna turn this… just took photos in front of my curtain. Uh yeah so self portraits with my mom in here when there was nothing here and yay.
That’s my story for this week. I love you! Thank you so much for being here! It is because of you that I’m able to do any of this and that means the world to me that you enjoy my content and you care what I have to say in some capacity, that you support me in this adventure that is my self employment as an artist, even when I barely create anything anymore. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there are major changes coming to my website soon, I don’t exactly know what that is yet but I know more and more that that is coming up. Head’s up, things are changing, I don’t know what or when but it’s gonna happen at some point because I’m not totally happy with the way things are done on my website right now. Like, I have a system in place that works but it’s not as fulfilling and exciting and fun as I would like it to be, so I want to shift things around and I don’t know exactly what that is yet. You’ll know when I know.
I love you so much! Thank you for being here, it means so much to me and literally means that I can pay my bills so that means a lot, in this capitalist bullshit existence. Well the existence isn’t bullshit, it’s the capitalist stuff that’s bullshit but you know, I’m trying to live outside of capitalism in any way that I can, which is very hard, but we’re doing what we can here. I love you. *blows kiss* bye!
All members:
click here to view the 36 image photoset of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach in Oregon summer 2019
click here to view the 30.5+ minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 41 image self portrait photoset with Mommy at home soon before I moved back in (2019)
click here to view 21.5 minutes of BTS video -
Waterfall Introspection
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, welcome to another week of… my website. So this week I have a self portrait set that I took in 2018 on that first solo road trip that I went on, I talked about it… 2 weeks ago in the other waterfall self portrait set that I shared. I visited a whole bunch of waterfalls on this trip, it was like a long weekend, so this is a different waterfall and somehow after I took the photos and uploaded them to my smugmug, I forgot about this whole trip of self portraits that I took, somehow? So that’s why I’m sharing them now because I like somehow lost them / forgot about them after I took them and just never shared them. These photos I took I don’t even remember the name of the place that I was hiking. I probably could find it if I saw a map and looked back through some stuff. I hiked, this was in the mountains because that’s like my favorite place to be, I was hiking in the mountains near some waterfalls and I came upon this area that was a whole bunch of bare rock next to the river that had a little waterfall on it further up the river. I just hung out there for a long time and nobody really showed up for a long time so I was like “okay I feel safe being naked here” so I took some self portraits and then I got dressed and I think I was pulling oracle cards and journaling, and then a small family, like 2 or 3 person little group of adult and little children came by, and so I was like “okay so that’s perfect that I wasn’t naked when they showed up” because usually its people with kids that get annoyed or angry when people don’t have clothes on. So yeah that’s the photoset I’m sharing this week.
I have a video that has nothing to do with this photoset that I’m also sharing. This video I took.. I believe it was 2019, I’m not sure if it was before or after my cross country trip (EDIT: it was after). This was me when I lived at my sister’s house, hanging out in the living room in my sister’s house and listening to music and like, dancing and moving around and playing with the kittens… I call them shittens. Playing with shittens back when the cats that my sister has were actually kittens. They were so friggin cute. So this video is me just playing and dancing around and moving my body and playing with little kittens, so me and shittens, and dancing kindof, yoga ish, movement video.
First look people, I’m sharing more photos from Columbus Ohio. These are photos that Jacs Fishburne took of me and Lior Allay when we were traveling there, so these are I believe… all of the photos I am sharing with me and Lior and Jacs, which there are 3 photosets. I shared one of them last week, that was Lior’s photos of me and Jacs, this week it’s Jacs photos of me and Lior, and then next week I’ll be sharing… no I already shared those. The ones of Lior and Jacs that I took were the week before that. Next week I’ll be sharing something different. But yeah, so these are all from the same day and it was very fun. So first look is getting the photos and BTS videos of Jacs photographing me and Lior.
Speaking of Lior… if you didn’t already see it, I am going to be in Durham at the end of the month and I just got tested, I am negative, I got my result yesterday, covid negative, yay! I’m meeting up in person with Lior and Roarie and we are going to be brainstorming and dreaming up the future possibilities for Going Beyond the Lens and we are offering an event while we’re all together. We’re calling it Backstage Pass because you get a backstage pass to our shoot, we’re going to create together, the 3 of us, and the first half of the backstage pass event is gonna be the 3 of us answering all of your questions about shooting and how to communicate with the people you’re creating with, how to make sure everybody feels safe, how to make sure there’s consent, how to bounce ideas off of each other, all of these things, so I’m really excited because I have created with both of them, Lior and Roarie, but they have actually never met each other in person so this is going to be the first time that they’re creating together period, and this is the first time that we’re going to be all 3 creating together. I’m very excited because they’re both amazing people and they know each other now through all of the things we’ve been doing together, I just think that like, when you only know someone through the internet it’s different than when you actually get to meet them in person, so I’m very excited that we’re all going to be in person together and yeah I think I’m just super excited in general to be in person with them because it’s been a long time. We’re all getting tested, all self quarantining, being extra careful so that we make sure we’re not going to accidentally spread covid. Like I said I just got my covid test result back yesterday and I am covid negative, and I’m going to continue to like not leave my house until I go there basically. So yeah I’m excited.
Yeah I think that’s all I have to say today. Come and join us to be a part of the Backstage Pass event. I’ll put a link in the caption below. (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!) This is a fundraising event for Going Beyond the Lens because we would really like to maybe create a website or some kind of community forum or something. We need to change the way we’re doing things online a little bit, because right now we have stuff in a google drive and it’s almost full already. We need to make some plans in terms of infrastructure, and so we are fundraising through this event. Tickets are $11 and we also have an option if you’d like to donate an additional amount of money that is available also, which is also super really appreciated. We have a lot of really exciting dreams and plans for what we would really love to do with Going Beyond the Lens so we’re hoping that this event will help get us a little bit of the money that we need in order to make some of these exciting plans and updates and changes so that we can better serve the GBTL community. So if you’d like to watch us create together live, please join us, I’ll put the link below (CLICK HERE!!!!) It’s only $11, this is a once in a lifetime thing, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do this again for a while. I don’t want to say once in a lifetime because I assume we’ll be able to do something like this again at some point, but I have no idea when something like this will happen again. Also if you can’t make it, the event is on December 30th, it’s a Wednesday I believe, and it’s from 10am-1pm eastern time. If you cannot make it, every single person who signs up will be getting a recording of the whole event so if you can’t make it there’s no worries because you can watch it whenever. Yeah I’m just really excited, its going to be really fun, and it’ll basically be the first time I’ve created in months.
Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you soon! Mwah!
All members:
click here to view the 54 image self portrait photoset of me at an NC waterfall in 2018
click here to view the 5 minute video of me playing with kittens & moving my body
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 42 image photoset of me & Lior Allay taken by Jacs Fishburne in Columbus OH fall 2019
click here to view 13 minutes of BTS video -
Backstage Pass to a LIVE photoshoot
Join GBTL founders behind the scenes during a photoshoot, LIVE
- How to communicate with other artists before/during/after creating together?
- How to ensure the comfort of the models you work with?
- How to set the environment/mood for a photoshoot?
- What the creation process looks like for Bunny, Lior and Roarie?
Then you’re in luck! For the first time ever, Bunny, Lior, and Roarie will be gathering together IN PERSON to dream up the future of GBTL and to CREATE TOGETHER! We are inviting you into our creative practice through this workshop in which we will discuss the bullet points above and then demonstrate during an actual photoshoot, LIVE!
The itinerary: About 1.5 hours of discussion and answering questions followed by 1.5 hours of creating together.
If you have questions for us, please submit them while signing up. This ensures we will be able to answer them in the beginning portion of the event.
The event will be held on FreeConferenceCall. Please sign up online or download the app before the event starts.
If you can’t join live for any reason, everyone who registers will receive the recording of the event.
This is a fundraising event for the future of GBTL. We are looking forward to revealing what that future will look like soon!
Thank you for your time and energy,
Bunny, Lior, & Roarie
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More self portraits from Chicago
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Good morning! This week I’m sharing 2 self portrait sets from Chicago from several years ago, probably 2017… I think? 2016? 2017? I think 2017. Yeah I keep finding these that I forgot that I had so…. enjoy! They’re from 2 different airbnbs, like some of the ones I already shared. One of them is from the first airbnb that I stayed in that had cool furniture. There was this orange chair that I was like “I want to take pictures with this” and the other set is me with plants that were in the other airbnb that I stayed in. So this is from the same trip, from 2 different airbnbs.
The video I’m sharing this week was a random naked outdoor video that I took at the beginning of quarantine, the beginning of all the covid stuff. It was maybe March or April or May… maybe June. I didn’t look at the date that I took it. I randomly was like “I feel like hanging out naked outside” and why not make a video? So that’s what this is, there’s no caption, not really much sound, it’s just me doing my naked thing around the yard, so that one you can enjoy too.
The first look members, I have another self portrait set from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. This photoset is one of the first photosets that I took in Nevada, so we’re actually out of Utah for this one, we’re in Nevada. It was so beautiful, the colors there were so intense and just amazing, so self portrait set and behind the scenes from me in Nevada. I hope you like it. I don’t think it was that set, but it was another set from that same day. I was in Nevada, I was in a park and someone came up while I was shooting and I frantically got dressed. You’ll see it in the video, it’s not in this one, it’s in one that I’ll be sharing soon I think, maybe I shouldn’t tell this story, maybe I’ll save it for when I actually share it.
Anyway, this weekend, today is not this weekend yet when I’m recording this, but when you see this on Saturday morning, you still have a couple hours to sign up for the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie and SPECIAL GUEST Marcus! So excited! So we’re talking about erotic art. I’m very excited, I’m also pretty nervous because it’s going to be a very vulnerable and uncomfortable conversation for me to have, but I’m still looking forward to it because I think there’s going to be a lot of really valuable information that everyone’s going to share and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s perspective and sharing mine (which is vulnerable and scary). If you’d like to join me, it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE, I’ll put the link in the caption below. You can sign up, it’s free, it’ll be at 1pm eastern Saturday the 21st, which is the day that I am releasing this! So you have a couple of hours from me sharing this post til the event happens, so CLICK AND REGISTER ASAP so that you can join us for FREE! Haha I rhymed. Yeah I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be amazing. We have already done (as of the time I’m recording this), we’ve already done 2 of the livestreams on the Going Beyond the Lens instagram account. I will also link that below. If you want to watch the livestreams where we give a sneak preview about what we’re going to be talking about during the event. Go watch those, most of them are around 20 minutes ish long. Today is technically Wednesday, I’m recording this a little early because I have a lot of stuff going on this week. Today is technically Wednesday, and the first 2 lives happened already so you can already go watch those. I mean by the time you watch this, the one on Friday that I’m doing with Roarie will already have also happened… but um yeah I’m excited! Please join! We would love to have you be a part of the conversation. There’s probably not going to be any time left to submit an image, but I hope there have been a lot of people that submitted images to this event so that we can share your work also. So we’re probably going to be promoting the image sharing a lot on the instagrams.
CLICK HERE FOR FREE REGISTRATION TO THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE FOR A LAST MINUTE SUBMISSION OF YOUR EROTIC ART TO BE SHARED AT THE EVENT
Yeah I’m excited. I love you! Thank you for being here! That’s all I have to say today. I just think yall are wonderful and amazing and I’m glad that you’re here on my website and you mean the world to me. Love you, bye!
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset with an orange chair from a trip to Chicago in 2017
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset with plants from that same Chicago trip
click here to view the 6 minute video of me hanging out nude in my back yard during quarantine
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 30 image self portrait photoset in the Nevada desert (Sixth Sister)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Buddy’s Blue Room
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Okay so this week I’m not on my period so I’m more present and not in pain so that’s nice. This week *clears throat* I swear I’ve been awake for several hours. Oooh a squirrel! There’s a fence right outside my window and it’s a normal thing for a squirrel to be scurrying across the top of the fence and I just saw one do that and it’s cute.
This week the photoset I’m sharing with you is a photoset that I took of self portraits in May of 2019 that was taken in a photographer’s house. I went to Nashville TN back in May of 2019, time is weird yall. The photographer hosted me, he had a lot of good references so I felt safe to be hosted there. The room that he had available for me was this blue room with a big really cool painting in it of a big face and there was a real huge mirror in there so I of course took advantage of the cool space and took some self portraits in that room, so that’s the ones I’m sharing with you today. I was going to be shooting with this photographer but he wasn’t feeling well so we ended up not shooting and I just stayed at his house. It’s this cool big old house and he had been renovating rooms a bit at a time. The bathroom was really cool, he had a clawfoot tub and a fancy walk-in tiled shower. I think I took a video of me taking a shower in that shower, and I don’t recall if I’ve share that yet or not. I have so much content it’s hard for me to keep up with what I’ve shared and what I haven’t. I should look and see if I can find that because I know I made that video, of me taking a shower in that cool shower. Yeah I really liked his house it was really cool and it was like, close to a lot of stuff. There’s some fancy restaurants that were basically walking distance, I could have walked to them, but I didn’t know how close they were so I drove and I was like “why didn’t I just walk?” I had a good time staying at his place and I… one of my two favorite colors is blue, my other favorite color is green, and if I had a third favorite color it would be purple. My colors are blue green and purple. I also really like brown but that’s beside the point. So of course this blue room with a big mirror and a cool painting I had to take some self portraits so, here you are!
The videos I’m sharing this week are from several years ago to be honest. Maybe 2017? 2018? 2016? I’m not positive, I could look but I didn’t look before this so.. whoops. From several years ago and these videos are of me doing aerial silks, they’re 3 different videos of me doing ankle hangs. So me just like hanging by my ankles in silks, so that was really fun, I love being upside down. Silks are the best, I love them, they’re so much fun. I miss going to the studio, I haven’t been in quite a while. Probably over a year now because with my budget I was either going to continue doing aerial silks or get a van, so you know which one I did. I got a van so I could do my cross country road trip. So yeah I haven’t done silks in a while, except…. now I have silks at home! It’s not the same though because this is.. the way I have it set up now is a hammock and what I super miss is the full on silk pole. They call it a pole, but it’s when the silk is, the two halves of it are coming down all the way to the ground so you have two separate pieces that are connected at the top that just come all the way to the ground. This, it’s one silk but it’s in a loop so it’s a hammock so its different but still super fun. I love hanging upside down! It’s very different from the classic silk setup, which I really miss, but my ceilings aren’t really high and it’s… the rig that I have is portable, I can move it, and it goes up to 11 feet, but it’s kindof an ordeal to move it. I mean, I can, it’s possible, but it definitely takes 2 people and I would LOVE to set it up outside and do some regular classic silk stuff on it and set it up that way. I have the ability to do that, I just haven’t because I don’t want to have it outside and get rained on and I don’t want to have to move it a lot so I’ve just left it inside because it’s always available for me to play on the hammock. I’m hoping maybe once it warms up again in the spring or summer, I’ll set it up outside for a longer amount of time and do some classic silk things. So the videos I’m sharing this week are me doing ankle hangs in silks from when I was going to the studio so it’s a few years ago. My strength is not quite what it used to be. I used to be way stronger because I was doing silks 2 or 3 times a week every week for a couple of years so I was really fuckin strong. I was doing like 6-8 pull ups at a time, I was really strong. I can barely do one pull up now, that’s how I measure my strength is by how many pull ups I can do. I’m not very strong right now, I still have some muscle, but yeah, I miss silks so I hope you enjoy these videos of me playing in silks and doing ankle hangs.
The first look people have a self portrait set that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019, I still have a few of those to share with you. So it’s the self portrait set and the BTS video. This one is in southern Utah. I don’t want to say exactly where it is because, most of the places I’ve been I don’t want to say exactly where it is. I feel like if I publicly am like “these are the places that I took photos” there could be not so good consequences to that. I’m aware of when “influencers” I wouldn’t count myself as an influencer, but, when people have semi large or large followings sharing locations where they shoot then suddenly a lot of people show up at those places and trash them, so I’m going to just tell you broadly… southern Utah. You might recognize this place if you’ve been there though, because of where it is. I’m excited to share this with you.
There’s still time if you’d like to join the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. We have a special guest I’m so excited! that is going to be taking Roarie’s spot when 3 of us talk about Erotic Art before we go into the community discussion so I’m very excited for our special guest! So excited! So yeah if you’d like to come to this event, it’s free and it’s on freeconferencecall, so it’s a group video chat. Usually the events last around 3 hours, we’re going to be talking about erotic art the whole time. We have a slideshow that we’ll share with you that will show images and at the end we have an art share which is probably my favorite part, where people who are participating in the event have the ability to share your art with us and we’ll put it in the slideshow so everyone can see your art and we can talk about it. It’s always amazing and I’m always blown away by the art that people share, it’s really cool. I’d say that’s my favorite part of them usually, is the art share at the end. If you’d like to join it’s absolutely free, I’ll put the link in the caption below. Also if you’d like to submit your erotic art to be shared at the event please do so, I’ll put the link below also. Yeah come join us! It’s on Saturday November 21st and it’ll start at 1pm eastern, so yeah, coming up, I’m so excited, it’s going to be awesome.
LINK TO REGISTER FOR FREE EROTIC ART EVENT
LINK TO SUBMIT YOUR EROTIC ART TO SHARE AT THE EVENT
I love you, thanks for being here, yall make my life. I know that I’ve been very up and down in terms of emotion and what I want to do and motivation, but that’s part of life so I appreciate yall hanging with me and being a part of this. Your support means everything, including me being able to have food on my table. It’s not just the monetary part of it. It’s the love and care that yall share with me, the conversations we have together, the feedback that I get from yall, it’s just wonderful. This squirrel is like.. you know how they flick their tail? It’s just sitting on the fence looking at me flicking it’s tail, it’s like *makes wooshing sounds & moves hand pretending to be a squirrel tail* it’s really cute, okay, um yes. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you next week! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 38 image self portrait photoset of me in Buddy’s blue room in Nashville TN
click here to view the 3 aerial silks videos of me doing ankle hangs (and some photos too!)
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 16 image complete self portrait photoset in Utah (Other Side)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning friends. I’m trying to not be too distracted. I started my period this morning so I’m in pain but I wanted to continue to, you know, be consistent with yall. *sigh* It’s hard to focus when your uterus is trying to turn itself inside out. So this week I’m sharing another self portrait set that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019 and the behind the scenes video and first look is getting another self portrait set from Utah in 2019 and the BTS video. The first look BTS video makes me laugh because when I was taking these self portraits I was on this really long dirt road outside of Grand Staircase Escalante and I thought I was the only one there but there were like, I think 2 instances where a car drove by and I had to grab my camera and hide behind my van. So you get to see that happening and that’s kinda funny of me rushing “oh shit I gotta hide!” so yeah that’s a thing. That’s for first look people. The BTS this week for everybody isn’t as exciting, I mean it IS exciting because you get to see me taking self portraits, but nobody catches me which is good.
Yeah so this morning I’m in pain because I’m menstruating and the last maybe year or so I’ve been having menstrual pain the first day of my period, which didn’t really happen before when I had an IUD, but since I’ve taken that out, around a year ago now, my period has changed a little bit. Getting to know my body without any medical intervention things has been good, but yeah painful. I woke up at like 6:30 this morning in pain and I haven’t really been able to go back to sleep so I figured I might as well do this. The… I don’t really have much else to say about the photosets, I really love them, I hope you do too. I want to go back to Utah. Hopefully later this week I’ll be going to the mountains by myself, depending on how my period goes and if I think it’s safe to be out there sleeping in my van for a couple of days, because I do still want to like, use public restrooms and things because that’s slightly more comfortable when you’re on your period, to use a public restroom than to use a bush.
It’s hard to concentrate. Uhm oh hi squirrely. Oh I realized that I’m shadowbanned on instagram which makes me angry and I just switched to a creator profile because the analytics and stuff are cool but I feel like that’s probably part of why I got shadowbanned, and also because I had a photo that was deleted because it “violates community guidelines” except it DOESN’T, there’s no nipple or anything, you just see a little bit of underboob and it’s not the highlight of the photo, so I just am… I feel like I dislike instagram more every day but sadly that’s where most of the people I want to follow and see what they’re doing and meet with are existing online so it’s complicated. I have a very much love hate relationship with instagram. I just wish instagram was run by like, queer anarchists or something you know, then everything would be better, but sadly IG is run by cis white men that have lots of money so we know how that goes. I really wanted to be slightly more interesting this week but my period is fogging my brain and I don’t have much else to say. I got my haircut, I like having it really short like this because it feels really good to rub it.
I do want to tell you about the next Going Beyond the Lens event that’s coming up that I’m excited about. It’s going to be on Sep… oop September, I’m not going back in time. It’s going to be on November 21st which is a Saturday, at 1pm eastern and we are going to be discussing erotic art! If you’ve read my last few Saturday posts you know that I don’t want sexual attention so this erotic art event is uncomfortable for me and feels vulnerable but I’m basically going to be like the asexual representation at this event, so you’ll get a well-rounded conversation about erotic art. I’m excited and nervous about it, I think it’s going to be a good one. If you’d like to join us we have a special guest that’s going to be a part of it and I’m really excited. So I’ll put the link in the caption of this video so you can join us. It’s a free event, FREE, free free free, you don’t have to pay anything to join, and it’s going to be a live group video call for everybody that comes. I’m really excited, these events usually last around 3 hours. They’re always really fun and I always get a lot out of them, so while I’m kindof nervous talking about erotic art and it feels vulnerable to me, I’m still excited because I think we’re all going to learn some cool things. I’m also really excited to see what people submit for their erotic art, because you know, I always love seeing everybody else’s work. If you have erotic art you’d like to share with us for this event, there’s a link for that too. I’ll put that in the caption so you can submit your art if you want.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE TO SUBMIT YOUR EROTIC ARTI think that’s all I have to say, I love you so much, thank you for being here with me every week. I will continue to be here with you every week, at whatever capacity is possible, even if it’s like today and I’m kinda out of it because I’m in pain. Y’all are important to me so I want to continue to be consistent and sometimes that means I’m partially present and other times that means I’m very present. Today I’m partially present because my uterus is screaming at me. I love being on my period, once the pain goes away on the first day it’s a great time. I like the cycle of my body and how it usually follows the full moon and how it connects me to myself so I really like that. Also speaking of menstruation and censorship, I have a video on Youtube about why I love menstruating as an agender person and the cover photo I have for it was a photo of me that my friend Portraitmami took. It’s basically me in white underwear with blood on them and blood on my leg. You can’t see any genitalia, it’s just underwear with period blood on it but youtube decided that that was either violent or nude, even though it’s neither of those things, but youtube decided to delete my cover photo for that video because it said youtube doesn’t like seeing menstrual blood even though I think it’s awesome. More annoyance at censorship and bullshit online platforms that I feel like are also necessary because everybody is using them. So this is me ranting about bullshit censorship and bullshit social media things but… I digress. Okay yeah that’s all I have for this week. This is already a longer video than I usually make. Yeah I just wanted to say hi and I love you and I’m so glad that you’re here and literally youre the reason I’m able to pay rent and buy myself food so that means a lot. I also really like speaking to yall and seeing the things you’re interested in that I’m doing and I love hearing feedback so yeah the conversations that I’ve had with yall have been really wonderful and I’d like to continue that. Please comment on this post or send me an email or whatever feels best for you. I’m open to chatting about the things that you like and the things you’re inspired by and any questions you have.
Oh yeah how could I forget?! I was interviewed for Lenscratch which is a big photography magazine kinda thing and I was interviewed and it was amazing so I’m going to put a link here too because I think it’s a really great introduction to my work. The person who did the interview with me, Kat Davis, asked really excellent questions that really helped me articulate my process and the meaning behind my work so that’s great. So if you’d like to check out that interview I’ll put the link to that in the caption also. Yeah okay now I’m just rambling. I love you, thank you for being here, check out all the things, yeah thank you. Hopefully my cramps go away soon. You get to witness me and my crampiness. Ok. I love you! Bye.
CLICK HERE TO READ MY INTERVIEW FOR LENSCRATCH
All members:
click here to view the 28 image self portrait photoset (Sunset on the Edge)
click here to view the 2 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 27 image self portrait photoset I took near Grand Staircase Escalante in Utah during my cross country trip summer 2019
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Doubles with Tiffany Helms
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! Well, morning for you when you see this maybe, it’s not really morning here anymore. I’m really excited about this photoset that I’m sharing with you this week. I took it on my cross country road trip last year like most of the other sets I’ve been sharing recently and will continue to share because I took SO MUCH last year. I have a huge backlog and I’m really glad because I haven’t really made much this year at all and it’s already September.
This photoset that I took last year on my cross country road trip is of a model that I’ve worked with 2 or 3 times before, Tiffany Helms, who is super awesome. I shared a photoset with yall recently of single exposures I took of her, and these are the double exposures that I took. Of course I’m really excited about them because doubles. We took these on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. What all do I want to say about this set? The singles that we took, we took before we took these doubles. We took all the doubles at a second location. The first location was that really cool abandoned spot that I shared with yall recently. This other location wasn’t super far away but we did drive to get to the trailhead for it. It was pretty awesome because there were like… what were they called? There was wild… food of some kind that I’m having trouble… was it blackberries? Was it… NO it was wild cherries! There were wild cherries on the trail that we were snacking on that was so awesome and it was great. On the way to this place where we shot. I don’t exactly know what part of the island we were on? I didn’t.. I wasn’t the driver during this shoot. Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters was the driver for us and our assistant/lookout. We went to this place that was right next to the water and there was another abandoned building that was different than the abandoned building we previously had been to. We didn’t shoot inside of it but we shot next to and around it. I was most excited about the water and the beachy area because it looked beautiful so we have a lot of photos from that place. I hope my neighbor doing their grass isn’t too loud. I’m gonna get closer so you can hear me better. So yeah it was super fun, I had a good time. Oh yay maybe they’re done! Yeah… it was super awesome. I did the doubles a little bit differently than I usually do… or recently have done. Usually I’ll shoot a whole roll (I mean I kinda did it the same way, but) rewind it, and shoot over it again. Usually the first set of images is all just background images like landscapes and the second set of images I shoot are usually with the model. For these photos I was pretty excited with what we were creating and I actually shot a whole roll of Tiffany, portrait, like closer up mostly of her face. Then I rewound the roll and shot over it all over again with further away, with her more in the landscape. I think they turned out super amazing and I’m very excited about how they look.
I usually did that kind of double where I would double the person in there twice, I usually did that with my medium format camera in the past. I’ve been having some technical issues with that camera for over a year and it’s discouraged me and I haven’t really been using it because of the technical issues. I think I really just need some new batteries, but it takes like 4 batteries. Or 8 or 6? It takes a lot of batteries so I haven’t really shot with my medium format camera in a while. These images I took with 35mm and I haven’t done doubles this way in a long time. I’m very excited and happy with how they turned out, I think they’re incredible. Tiffany is always really easy to work with, she’s a model and photographer so she basically… just tell her your idea and she runs with it. She doesn’t ever really need much direction because she’s excellent at posing, she is one of my pose inspirations. She’s really creative and bendy and I love her funky poses that she sometimes does. I’m really happy with how these turned out. I have the whole photoset to share with you and the BTS video, so look for that! All members have access to all of that.
The first look members I have another photoset that’s self portraits that I took in Utah last summer that I’m sharing with first look. I’m sure you’ll love them, I love them a lot. They were also taken outside of Moab outside of Canyonlands. I’m pretty sure that’s where this set was taken. Yeah, similar to the other sets I’ve shared recently, I took a lot of sets off the side of the road basically. Beacuse the whole place, Utah itself is just fucking gorgeous. The whole state basically, the parts that I’ve been to, Southern Utah, the WHOLE of Southern Utah is very photogenic as you can see in my photos. I’m excited to share all that with you.
In terms of personal stuff recently, I’ve been working with Lior Allay and Roarie Yum on our going behind the scenes, no, going behind the le… why am I tongue tied right now? Probably because I was just on a 4.5 hour video call. GOING BEYOND THE LENS, our project community group, we’ve been working on getting ready for our next event which is Saturday the 19th at 1pm eastern if you want to join, it’ll be about BODY LANGUAGE. I’m pretty excited about this because I think I will also incorporate a little bit of energy medicine in this because it totally relates, because it’s our body. I’m excited about that, it’s something we’re working on. The invitation email went out today, which is Thursday, so if you’re on that list you’ll have already received it by the time this video is released. We’ve been talking about future plans and goals and I’m pretty excited about the stuff we’re working on. I’m so thankful that they’re working with me, both of them, because I greatly admire them and look up to them and really super appreciate all of the things that they have to offer, and the way they move about the world. I just.. they’re both incredible people and I’m so thankful to be able to work with them. It’s been a labor of love creating this community together and figuring out what works best for us and what we need to shift and update. It comes with its own challenges but it’s been incredible and I’m so thankful for everything we’ve been able to do so far and I’m very excited for what will come in the future. We have lots of ideas and I know that time will be needed in order to get to all the things we wanna do. I’m just… we have big plans and dreams and I’m so excited to share it with yall whenever those things actually happen. For now you can join us basically every month for a free event.
Body language on Saturday the 19th! Please join us! I’ll put a link down here! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE FREE EVENT!
That’s all I have to say for today. As you can tell I’m in a better mood right now than I probably was in the last couple videos. I’ve been doing energy medicine yoga pretty much every day for over a week and it has helped tremendously with my feels, my emotions, my stress. I think your September nude yoga video, I think it’s gonna be EM yoga, energy medicine yoga, and I think my mom will join me for it. So… look for that! Coming soon! Yeah that’s all I have to say today, this is already a 10 minute video. I love you so much! Thank you for being here! Each of you are so important to the world and I know that you all have gifts to share and I’m thankful that you’re here and paying attention to me for whatever reason you felt like doing that. It means a lot to me. I love you, thank you, and I’ll see you next week! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island, Washington during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset self portrait photoset of me with two Mesas in Utah -
Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning! Happy Thursday for me, happy Saturday for you! I’m gonna set this down I think, let’s see if I can do this. Almost. I have to be really far away. Happy Saturday! Hope you can hear me! So today is July 4th, well not today that I’m making this but today when you’re going to be seeing this, and it is not really cause for celebration for me. If you know anything about the history of the United States you’re probably not a fan of July 4th either. Independence from who? Independence for who? Yeah, whatever.So today I’m sharing a photoset that was actually taken on July 4th last year when I was on my cross country road trip last summer. I was in Lassen Volcanic National Park in Northern California. When I was there I saw lots of snow, on July 4th yes, I saw a lake that was completely covered in ice. It was beautiful. I saw trees that had been burned, and it’s a very varied landscape there but it was beautiful. I met up with a photographer there named From the Edge Photography. We camped overnight and got up the next morning and took a bunch of photos in a bunch of places, mostly just hiking away from where our campsite was, into the woods, and that was great. I think he might be sending me more photos in the future but for now I’m just going to share the photos that I have and all of the videos that I have. Some of the videos I think he.. I think they’re like sideways, instead of vertical like they should be, I think they’re sideways. I may or may not be able to fix that before I share them. We’ll see if it’s extremely time consuming to fix it or not, and if it is extremely time consuming then I’m sorry they’re sideways but if it’s something that can be done in a reasonable time then I will do it. So I just thought it would be funny and interesting and cool to share photos this July 4th that I was modeling for on July 4th last year!
I don’t know what else I want to share right now, I’ve been kinda busy doing my own thing and also getting stuff prepared for Going Beyond the Lens with Lior and Roarie, which has been really wonderful and I’ve really loved it, and we have a lot of things that we’d like to do and ideas… I’ll put the link in the caption (CLICK HERE!) of where you can go to sign up for updates. We have another online event coming up for free on July 18th at 1pm. When you go to the link (HERE!) there’s a place to sign up for the Going Beyond the Lens mailing list and that’s where if you’re on that mailing list then you’ll be invited and get all the information on how to join that free video gathering discussion thing. I’m excited, it’s been a really fun project to work on, and I really love working with Lior and Roarie, they’re wonderful people and I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Our first event on Vulnerability in May was really excellent and I felt like we had a lot of really good conversation and dialogue with the participants which I really enjoyed, and for it being our first event we had a pretty decent turnout so I’m pretty excited about how well it went. I’m hopeful that it’ll be a really good turn out for this next one. I think this kind of community for artists where we can gather and talk to each other about art and what it means for us and the ways we go about doing things, I think it’s important and needed, I think there’s a lot of artists that have been yearning and searching for this, I know I have, so I’m really thankful to be a part of this. To help facilitate the gathering of creators and the broadening of our perspectives, I think that’s really great and I’m excited.
What else do I want to talk about? I don’t usually make a plan for what I want these videos to say, I usually just look at my plan for what I’m releasing and just make the video go from there. That’s probably why I’m always like “what am I going to talk about? I don’t know what I want to say.” I haven’t forgotten about the double exposure ebook and the reviews I’m asking for yall to do in exchange for the ebook. I’ve just had a lot on my plate so it’s something I’ve been working on a little bit at a time. I’m not sure if I want to make the ebook much longer or if I want to keep it short and sweet, but there’s at least 20-30 photos in there already, and it’s a 16 page ebook so far. I might just finish it and continue. I’ve also been working on a double exposure mini course, an ebook pdf on how to do double exposures on 35mm film, and it’ll include some links to videos I’ve made for what to do on the cameras and how to load the film and all that kinda stuff, so I’m also working on that. My fingers are in a lot of places. I’ve also like… I posted nothing on my IG in June. I made like 3 posts on June 1st and then I didn’t post anything other than stuff on my stories. So I think I’ll probably start maybe posting again hopefully. I feel like I need to have important things to say and I’ve allowed myself to think about it too much and that has kept me from actually doing it. So there’s that.
Yeah that’s all I have to say today, I hope you enjoy this photoset and these videos from my time last July 4th in Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography.
Video members:
click here and click here to view the full photosets of me at Lassen Volcanic National Park taken by From the Edge Photography
click here to view the BTS videosFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me hanging out in the back yard during quarantine
click here to view video of me playing with kittens and moving my body