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How to get a FREE double exposure e-book from me! <3
Hello wonderful people!
I have an offering for you… I would absolutely LOVE to send you a specially made 16-page e-book of some of my very favorite double exposures as a gift of gratitude to anyone who spends the time to leave a review of their membership. Not only do reviews help other precious beings join our community, but they also help me know what your favorite parts of being a member are so that I can do MORE OF THAT!
Here’s how you do it!
Log in to your account (if you’re seeing this you’re probably already logged in), click here to go to the memberships page, click on the membership you currently have, scroll down to the reviews section, choose how many stars you would rate your membership, and leave a comment with your honest opinion of the membership and what you love about it!
When I receive your review I’ll send you an email with the info on how to download this special e-book (for FREE) as a token of my gratitude <3
Please reach out if you have any questions! bunnyluna@pm.me
Thank you SO MUCH for leaving a review of your membership, it means so much to me!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 1st 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Stevie Macaroni and I have been friends for a few years now and I always love when our paths cross! Whether we’re creating art together or just hanging out I enjoy her company and hearing her stories. She’s able to travel more than I am so I always get the inside scoop on stuff when we get together. She stayed with us for 2 nights, it was really nice to catch up. It had been a long time since we had seen each other!
It’s been a while since I shot any double exposures so I decided after shooting this roll of film with her that I would shoot over it again for some doubles, I’m so glad that I did! It made the images that much more magical in my opinion. Plus, with all the flowers starting to bloom here who wouldn’t want a bunch of flower-filled photos?!
All members have access to this complete 31 image photoset by clicking here.
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Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning! Happy Thursday for me, happy Saturday for you! I’m gonna set this down I think, let’s see if I can do this. Almost. I have to be really far away. Happy Saturday! Hope you can hear me! So today is July 4th, well not today that I’m making this but today when you’re going to be seeing this, and it is not really cause for celebration for me. If you know anything about the history of the United States you’re probably not a fan of July 4th either. Independence from who? Independence for who? Yeah, whatever.So today I’m sharing a photoset that was actually taken on July 4th last year when I was on my cross country road trip last summer. I was in Lassen Volcanic National Park in Northern California. When I was there I saw lots of snow, on July 4th yes, I saw a lake that was completely covered in ice. It was beautiful. I saw trees that had been burned, and it’s a very varied landscape there but it was beautiful. I met up with a photographer there named From the Edge Photography. We camped overnight and got up the next morning and took a bunch of photos in a bunch of places, mostly just hiking away from where our campsite was, into the woods, and that was great. I think he might be sending me more photos in the future but for now I’m just going to share the photos that I have and all of the videos that I have. Some of the videos I think he.. I think they’re like sideways, instead of vertical like they should be, I think they’re sideways. I may or may not be able to fix that before I share them. We’ll see if it’s extremely time consuming to fix it or not, and if it is extremely time consuming then I’m sorry they’re sideways but if it’s something that can be done in a reasonable time then I will do it. So I just thought it would be funny and interesting and cool to share photos this July 4th that I was modeling for on July 4th last year!
I don’t know what else I want to share right now, I’ve been kinda busy doing my own thing and also getting stuff prepared for Going Beyond the Lens with Lior and Roarie, which has been really wonderful and I’ve really loved it, and we have a lot of things that we’d like to do and ideas… I’ll put the link in the caption (CLICK HERE!) of where you can go to sign up for updates. We have another online event coming up for free on July 18th at 1pm. When you go to the link (HERE!) there’s a place to sign up for the Going Beyond the Lens mailing list and that’s where if you’re on that mailing list then you’ll be invited and get all the information on how to join that free video gathering discussion thing. I’m excited, it’s been a really fun project to work on, and I really love working with Lior and Roarie, they’re wonderful people and I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Our first event on Vulnerability in May was really excellent and I felt like we had a lot of really good conversation and dialogue with the participants which I really enjoyed, and for it being our first event we had a pretty decent turnout so I’m pretty excited about how well it went. I’m hopeful that it’ll be a really good turn out for this next one. I think this kind of community for artists where we can gather and talk to each other about art and what it means for us and the ways we go about doing things, I think it’s important and needed, I think there’s a lot of artists that have been yearning and searching for this, I know I have, so I’m really thankful to be a part of this. To help facilitate the gathering of creators and the broadening of our perspectives, I think that’s really great and I’m excited.
What else do I want to talk about? I don’t usually make a plan for what I want these videos to say, I usually just look at my plan for what I’m releasing and just make the video go from there. That’s probably why I’m always like “what am I going to talk about? I don’t know what I want to say.” I haven’t forgotten about the double exposure ebook and the reviews I’m asking for yall to do in exchange for the ebook. I’ve just had a lot on my plate so it’s something I’ve been working on a little bit at a time. I’m not sure if I want to make the ebook much longer or if I want to keep it short and sweet, but there’s at least 20-30 photos in there already, and it’s a 16 page ebook so far. I might just finish it and continue. I’ve also been working on a double exposure mini course, an ebook pdf on how to do double exposures on 35mm film, and it’ll include some links to videos I’ve made for what to do on the cameras and how to load the film and all that kinda stuff, so I’m also working on that. My fingers are in a lot of places. I’ve also like… I posted nothing on my IG in June. I made like 3 posts on June 1st and then I didn’t post anything other than stuff on my stories. So I think I’ll probably start maybe posting again hopefully. I feel like I need to have important things to say and I’ve allowed myself to think about it too much and that has kept me from actually doing it. So there’s that.
Yeah that’s all I have to say today, I hope you enjoy this photoset and these videos from my time last July 4th in Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography.
Video members:
click here and click here to view the full photosets of me at Lassen Volcanic National Park taken by From the Edge Photography
click here to view the BTS videosFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me hanging out in the back yard during quarantine
click here to view video of me playing with kittens and moving my body -
Conscious Creativity 2019
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So… I always come over here because it’s shady and I have very pale skin and need to stay in the shade. AW! I just got excited because I just found a little tiny poplar leaf. Love notes from the universe, I love it!
Ok so this week I am sharing several photosets that are from last fall when Lior Allay and I went to Michigan and did our Conscious Creativity event. I’m really excited to share these with you. I have photos taken from Lior, photos that were taken by… oh gosh I have a bunch of photos… I’m sharing the photos that Doug Pierce took (Hi Doug!) and photos that were taken by a person that their screen name is Brat_trainer, he took double exposures with a roll of film that I took in Valley of Fire… what other photos am I sharing? I think that’s all of the photos I’m sharing from the event. (EDIT I’m also sharing photos from Robert Beech who shot wet plates!) It was an amazing event, it was so fun! It was one of the last events that I did before covid hit and made it so that it’s harder for people to get together in person. Somebody is mowing their lawn… or something. Do you like my new glasses? Yeah this event was super awesome, I had a really amazing fun time there, it was super great, it was really connecting, it was really fun, it was hot. It was at a permaculture farm outside of Detroit called Crossing Hedgerows Sanctuary very much recommend anyone that’s out in that area to check them out, it’s an amazing location and I’m so thankful for them giving us the ability to hang out and have our event there, that was wonderful. I’m just thinking back fondly, it was really fun. It was a creative educational community supportive fun gathering, it was just great.
What else do I want to talk about this week? Oh! I just created a pay what you can membership, the membership is either $15, $10, $5, $3 or $1 based on what the person’s ability is to pay. The $1 ones are specifically for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color only. The reason I’m able to have a pay what you can membership is because of those of you who have the higher level memberships. Your membership is allowing me to have those discounted memberships for other people, so thank you so much for that. I appreciate you so much! Yeah I’m just excited about it, I want my work to be accessible to everyone and I think this is a great way to make it accessible. I mean, I already have a ton of free stuff, but in terms of my memberships for the paid things, I want to make them accessible and this is the way I’m making it accessible, and it is thanks to yalls help because you’re already here supporting me and that allows me to support the rest of the community with cheaper options for memberships so I thank you so much! The pay what you can membership is basically the video membership at a discounted rate. I went through and did more planning and organizing and I figured out that I have enough content to go through Halloween at least! I have so much content, it’s ridiculous yall. Honestly it can probably go longer than that, that’s just what I planned out for, and that’s still including me not really creating anything.
Last Sunday I took a self portrait set for the first time since last summer, so that was interesting. I did a double exposure self portrait set with photos I took in Utah over the summer last year. I am a little bit disappointed because most of them didn’t come out. More than half of the roll is just landscapes because I should have overexposed the images of me and I didn’t, I wasn’t paying as much attention to the exposure because it was me taking self portraits and I was just trying to do it quickly and easily and I should have been more particular with how I was doing it but, it was a fun experience and that’s all that matters. I did get a handful that are really good that did come out as doubles, but a lot of the roll is just all you can see is landscapes and very very very very faint maybe see a body in some of them so… a little disappointed in myself that a chunk of the roll didn’t really come out as doubles but I love the landscapes anyway because it’s one of my favorite places.
AHHHHH I just noticed a snail! Oh my gosh so cute! I don’t know if I can show you… let’s see… I’m gonna just like, cheat it. Nope I can’t do it, I can’t show you, I mean I maybe can, lets see…. oooop this thing doesn’t want to. I’ll take a picture and show you later. I just looked down in the grass and there’s this real cute snail just like slinkin along in the grass it’s really adorable. Yeah it’s so cute, so yeah, me, excited. Ok sooooo what else do I want to tell you? I don’t think I really have anything right now. I’m focusing my efforts on gathering information and figuring out what I want to do to do my part to make Black people’s lives better. As a white person that’s my job. If you’re also a white person and you don’t know where to start, you can go to my instagram and I have a whole bunch of stuff saved in my “protests” highlight, I have 2 of them now. So check those out if you need a place to start. I’ll probably be sending out an email newsletter with a lot of resources also in the coming weeks. I’m still gathering resources and still thinking about what I want to do. I have some ideas of what I personally want to do to help my local community, I’m still figuring that out. Yeah I think that’s all I have to say today. I’m excited to share these Conscious Creativity photos with you. I love you so much! Thank you for being here. I look forward to all of the changes that happen in the future because I know more are coming and I know it’s going to be for the better of everyone and… yeah. Thank you. I love you! Have a good day.
Here’s the cute snail I saw:
Lior Allay‘s photos:
Doug Pierce‘s photos:
Robert Beech‘s photos:
Brat_trainer‘s photos:
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset taken by Lior Allay
click here to view the full photoset taken by Doug Pierce
click here to view the full photoset taken by Brat_trainer double exposed over my images of Valley of Fire
click here to view the full photoset taken by Robert Beech on wet plates + 1 medium format film double exposure
click here to view the BTS videos & photosFirst Look members:
click here to view the 10 minute vlog – an intro to Bunny Luna! (I shot this in December and haven’t done anything with it yet haha)
click here to view the unedited self portraits I took at my sister’s house last year -
Conscious Creativity 2019
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story being these photosets from Conscious Creativity 2019 with Lior Allay, Doug Pierce, Robert Beech, and Brat_trainer
- 11 image complete photoset taken by Lior Allay
- 36 image complete photoset with Lior Allay taken by Doug Pierce
- 5 image complete photoset with Lior Allay taken by Robert Beech
- 37 image complete photoset taken by Brat_trainer double exposed over my images from Valley of Fire
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3 BTS videos
- 20 BTS photos
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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10 minute vlog – an intro to Bunny Luna! (I shot this in December and haven’t done anything with it yet haha)
- 335 unedited self portraits I took at my sister’s house last year
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Waterfall self portraits
CAPTION FOR THE ABOVE VIDEO:
Hello! So this week I am sharing (oh, it’s very muddy in my yard) I’m sharing a couple of photosets that are self portraits that I took, probably a couple years ago honestly, it’s been a little bit, from when I was traveling by myself in the mountains of North Carolina. It was probably 2018 or 2019. I got a spiderweb on my phone! Also I just got this fancy stabilizer for my cell phone which is why it looks so good and I’m not bouncing you around everywhere! Yeah so, these photosets, I really like them, it’s just me spending time out near waterfalls in NC which is one of my favorite things to do! I’m rolling up my pants so I don’t get them wet, we’ve had a lot of rain here and the ground is still pretty wet.
For the First Look members I’m sharing the double exposure photoset that I took of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island outside of Seattle Washington from my trip last summer. Let’s see what else? I’ve been doing a little bit more computer work the last couple of days which I’m kindof excited about because I’m getting closer to doing things that I want to do. Today I just posted (today is Thursday, I usually do these on Thursdays) I posted Energy Medicine/Energy Healing 101 to my instagram story and I saved it as a highlight so if you go to my instagram you can still find it even if it’s gone from my story. I think it’s pretty cool, I’m excited about doing these educational video things, well actually that wasn’t a video but, I have a lot of knowledge, I know a bunch of different things, I’ve been learning a lot of various healing things over the years and I’m excited to share them with more people. The healing things I’m probably most excited about, but I love photography and that kind of thing too, and witchy stuff. I’m looking forward to sharing a bunch of my knowledge with people and I feel like sharing that information for free through my instagram and youtube channel is beneficial to everyone so I’m looking forward to doing more of that. I feel like I’m starting to get kindof a plan of the things I want to do. The next thing I’m gonna go over is witchy things and rituals and stuff, after that I’m going over gender, and after that I’m going over ecosexuality more, even though I already have June and July every Monday on my youtube channel I’ll be going over ecosexuality and another topic, looking at the topic through the lens of ecosexuality such as sex, gender, attraction, consent, money, spirituality, so I have a bunch of those coming up in June and July on my youtube channel for my lives on Mondays. I’m really excited about those because I’m so obsessed with ecosexuality and I want to share it with everyone! I think that’s going to be a really good way to spread information about ecosexuality is through youtube.
So I feel like I’m starting to have a little bit more of a plan of things I want to do so that feels good. A lot of what I want to do is share information freely with people without having a paywall between them and the information that I have. But I also at the same time do need to make money so that I can live. Literally the money I make from my website is how I pay my bills. I really enjoy spending time with yall on Thursdays and I think that’s a big benefit to being a patron/member, is you get to support me and we get to hang out every week! Which, I really love that. I’ve been enjoying that. I feel like the last several weeks I’ve just had us hang out and talk and not had a topic or thing to do or activity. I might start having planned activities or specific topics to talk about so it’s not just chit chatting the whole time. I don’t know, I really like hanging out and talking to yall so I might just stick to that, but I don’t know if yall are maybe getting not necessarily bored, but you might want more out of those Thursday hangouts than what we’re doing so far. I know we talked several weeks ago or more like a month or so ago, about different things that I could do for the Thursday chats and I do really like the idea of planning out what I’m going to do but at the same time I don’t want to hold myself to this really rigid schedule either. Especially since it’s with yall and you might not always want to talk about the topic that I have or whatever. I like that they’ve been really organic and whatever comes up we talk about, but I’m also open to having more structure at the same time.
I just noticed that there’s a Magnolia flower starting to bloom on the Magnolia tree and that makes me really excited and happy. It’s really muggy and hot out here, it’s been raining for about a week and a half, just about every day, it’s not raining today which is why I’m outside and I’m very excited about it but I expect that it’s going to be raining some more over the next couple of days because that’s what the forecast has said. Maybe that tropical storm is still at the coast of NC, I don’t know, I know that it’s been there for a while but I don’t know how fast it’s moving.
So, if you have any topics of conversation that you want to discuss on Thursdays let me know. I probably might do a self portrait session during one of them at some point. I’m not sure if I’m quite ready for self portraits again yet, just because maybe I’ve stressed myself out about it enough that I haven’t been doing it, and like oohh I need to do it.
Not this weekend but next weekend I’m taking the whole weekend to myself, the 5-7th, the first weekend of June. It’s kinda a big weekend for me emotionally so I’m being extra gentle with myself. Plus I think there’s a full moon eclipse that Friday, I’m pretty sure, I need to look it up again but I think that Friday is a full moon eclipse. So I feel like energetically and emotionally it’s going to be a big deal for me and I’m looking forward to not doing any work and just focusing on self care and doing things that feel good to me. I also have planned to do a bunch of mushrooms! Because I fucking love mushrooms and I learn more about myself every time and I feel like I get a deeper connection with myself and the universe and the Earth and nature and my understanding of the world every time I do them and I just… fucking love mushrooms. I’ve never taken a really big dose, I’ve always just microdosed, which has worked really well for me. I’ve had, every single trip I’ve had has been really good spiritually, emotionally, and physically enlightening and positive for me. My sister however has had more bad trips than good trips but I think she’s had bigger doses than I have and that might have contributed. The worst I’ve ever felt when I’ve taken mushrooms was a little bit of a belly ache because sometimes the psilocybin in the mushrooms doesn’t do super well in your stomach, but for me that hasn’t been anything really negative at all. The benefits very far outweigh the negatives for me. Yeah I love mushrooms! I might make some content when I’m doing that self care weekend, I haven’t decided yet. Just depends on how I feel, I don’t want to pressure myself. I don’t do well with expectations or pressure so I don’t want to do that to myself, it’s not nice. That’s another reason why I super appreciate the people in my life that don’t put expectations or pressure on me because they know how much I despise it and how much it makes me want to do the opposite of whatever it is I’m “supposed to do” so I really appreciate everyone who doesn’t put expectations or assumptions on me because that’s like the worst thing ever for me.
So how do you like this smooth video? I really love this stabilizer so far. It is a little heavy to hold, but I won’t be doing 30 minute videos with it or anything. Plus it came with a mini tripod, it’s really adorable, so I could just put it on a tripod. Since I have this stabilizer I’ll be making more dynamic videos and more videos that aren’t just static and are actually moving around and stuff. Combining videos to make more artistic short videos that have some movement and some static video in it. I’m not really looking forward to the computer work that it will require, but I think once I finish my backlog of videos, I think I only have 4 or 5 left, then I wont be as stressed about making video content because it’ll be like well I just made this one thing and it’s the only thing I have to edit instead of I made this thing that is piling on top of all of the other things that I already still have to edit.
This is a long video already and I want to get started on prepping the post for this weekend and I’ve said basically all the things I want to say. I love you so much, thank you for being here. I appreciate that you support me even when I don’t know what I’m doing. It means a whole lot to me that you’re along for the ride. I love you so much! I’ll talk to you next week!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset in the NC mountains (Shadowed Falls)
click here to view the full self portrait photoset in the NC mountains (Bright Waterfall)
click here to view the Earth connection meditation video
click here to watch the 13 random videosFirst Look members:
click here to view the double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
click here to view the BTS video -
Waterfall self portraits
Video members now have access to:
- vlog with the story behind these self portrait photosets in the NC mountains
- 22 image complete photoset
- 14 image complete photoset
- 10 minute earth connection meditation
- 13 random videos from the archives
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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25 image complete double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
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15.5 minutes of BTS video
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Maya Tihtiyas
Video members now have access to:
- vlog with the story behind these photosets with Maya Tihtiyas
- 12 image complete photoset of me taken by Maya
- 8 image complete double exposure photoset I took of Maya
- 8 minute video of me getting into my body
- 16.5 minute video of me lounging nude in the sun
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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34 image complete self portrait photoset on a desert rock in Utah from my cross country road trip last summer
- 37 image complete self portrait photoset of formations at dusk in Utah from my cross country road trip last summer
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4 minutes of BTS video
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Maya Tihtiyas
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This week I’m sharing 2 photosets, one that I took of Maya Tihtiyas (I apologize Maya if I’m saying your last name wrong!), she visited NC and came and hung out with me at my house for a little bit and we photographed each other, so there’s a photoset that I took of her and a photoset she took of me. This was probably OVER a year ago for sure, I could look up the exact date but it isn’t super accessible to me at the moment, so it’s not that big of a deal for me to know exactly when these were taken. I have a habit of hoarding photos for a really long time and not sharing them, so yeah… I don’t really know why I do that. BUT these photos I really like. I think the set I have scheduled to share is the double exposure set I took of her and I really like them they’re really cool.
Today is a weird day for me, I don’t know, I emotionally don’t feel like super here, and my period is LATE and I’m trying to not be too annoyed or like freaked out by it, but I think that’s maybe part of why my emotions are feeling weird right now. Also a friend of mine that’s barely more than an acquaintance, like we’ve hung out twice and we used to go to the same yoga studio before lockdown, reached out to me because she has some similar relationship experience to me in terms of polyamory. She’s going through a rough time right now and wanted support and I am not in a place emotionally or time wise to be able to give her the support that she needs. We’re taught through our culture and through movies/tv shows/songs/peoples expectations that we’re supposed to abandon ourselves in order to help out our friends or the people we love or our partners or whatever, and I did that for years and years, and I’m not doing that anymore. So it was hard to set a boundary but I did it, I said “I appreciate that you trust me to hold space for you, but today I don’t have the time or emotional capacity to do justice to the kind of support that you need. Do you have someone else you can reach out to for support?” I don’t know if I’ve really ever done this before because I’m the kind of person, or I have been in the past, that has always felt like if I’m a good friend then I need to support people or help them out in their time of need. So it’s hard to set boundaries and say “hey, I know myself well enough to know that I’m not capable of doing a good job of supporting my friend right now” so I’m going to be honest with them and say “hey I don’t have it in me to be able to do this today.” And this is something new that I’ve just started being able to do. It’s not easy and it’s like… it goes against what a lot of our culture teaches us is expected from us. It sucks because it makes it really hard. And I’m not the kind of person to beat around the bush. I like to be direct and be like “this is what’s going on and this is what I need and this is the thing” and this conversation was through text so I was worried that she would take it the wrong way or be mad at me for not being able to “be a good friend” but I can’t abandon myself for anyone anymore. I’ve done that a lot throughout a lot of my life and I’m not doing it anymore. And I hope you don’t do it to yourself either, because it sucks. A lot. It hurts.
It’s been raining for 4 days straight and I’m glad that I just took a walk because it wasn’t raining when I was taking a walk and now it’s raining again. I took a walk in the rain yesterday. I just… feel gloomy today and the weather/rain is totally matching my mood. Or I’m matching the weather, what came first, the chicken or the egg? My mood or the weather? I don’t know if I’ve told yall before but I am capable of weather magick so I don’t always know if my mood came first or if the weather came first because I’m very connected to the weather. If you don’t believe me that’s okay. But I can tell you that there have been at least 5 times in the last couple of years that it has been about to start storming, like very obviously storming is about to happen, and I have calmly and gently and politely asked the weather to please wait until I’m inside with all of my things before it starts raining and… guess what happened? I get inside with all of my things, even if I have a delay, and then as soon as I close the door it starts POURING. This has happened at least 5 times in my life. I have a relationship to the Earth and the weather and I know that I am capable of weather magick. Whether or not the atmosphere/nature wants to listen to me is a different story, but it’s like a… what’s the word I’m looking for? Uhm, I have a relationship with the Earth and the weather.
I don’t know, I don’t have much else to say, I don’t want to be gloom and doom and make yall feel sad, because I want to be a source of inspiration and happiness and joy and education and love for everyone that I meet online so I don’t want to talk too much about my sad feelings. I know it’s really needed sometimes but I feel like since the pandemic I’ve had more gloomy/sad things to talk about than happy things to talk about so I don’t want to tip the scale in the sad direction anymore than I already have. So… I love you! I hope you’re doing well! I hope it’s sunshiney and happy wherever you are. I love you forever. I appreciate you being here supporting me, and I’ll talk to you next week.
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of me taken by Maya Tihtiyas
click here to view the full double exposure photoset I took of Maya Tihtiyas
click here to view the video of me getting into my body
click here to view the video of me lounging nude in the sunFirst Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset on a desert rock in Utah from my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video
click here to view the self portrait photoset of formations at dusk in Utah from my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video -
Doubles with Ravyn Alexa & Ambivalent Ann
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends! So this week I’m releasing two small photosets, I took them on the same roll of film, they’re all double exposures. All of the background images are from a waterfall here in NC, and the photos of the models, I took all of those outside of Portland Oregon last summer. I have photos of Ravyn Alexa and Ambivalent Ann that are doubles and I super love them. I didn’t realize how… I totally forgot when I loaded the film, how many exposures were on the roll, and I thought I had shot half of the roll of Ravyn so I’d have the other half of the roll for Ambivalent Ann… but it was not a 36 exposure roll, it was a 24 exposure roll, I thought it was 36, so there’s more photos of Ravyn than there are of Ambivalent Ann. I wish I had gotten more of her but, it is what it is.
So this week, what’s going on with me… I, yesterday, which was Wednesday, today is Thursday, I pretty much always get these videos and stuff ready on Thursdays for the Saturday post. Wednesday, which was the 29th, a really massive account on instagram (@girlgaze) posted one of my menstruation memes, and it’s about menstruation and gender. Girlgaze has over 300k followers, so a whole bunch of people saw this, and I’m super excited about it because it’s a really great opportunity because more people are seeing my work which I think is amazing because I want to share the love. But also, it kinda brought out a lot of nasty comments from people, a lot of transphobic comments and period shaming comments so that was disappointing. But with an account that large I can’t expect everyone to be super positive about a post about menstruation and gender. I did for a little bit interact with people in the comments of that post yesterday, but it didn’t take very long before I was feeling really activated and didn’t have the emotional capacity to handle the comments anymore, so I’ve disengaged from that. I mean there are a lot of great comments on there about people appreciating the post and stuff, but I just don’t want to argue about my humanity and worthiness of my gender expression with people who are super transphobic and don’t give a fuck about me or my feelings or my identity or anything and they’re very stuck in their binary thinking of male and female, which… fuck all that. So that was an interesting thing yesterday!
I’ve been spending a lot of my time in the woods this week. I’ve been going to the woods back there. There’s a decent amount of woods between the back part of my neighborhood and the main road that’s over there. So it’s neighborhood, woods, a few houses, and the main road. So I’ve just been spending a bunch of time in the woods and immersing myself in the solitude of nature which is really nice and healing for me. It feels really good to just be in nature. I’m thinking a lot about ancestors and connection and where do we go from here and how I want to connect with myself more and how I want to connect with the Earth more, and how connecting to the Earth is inherently like connecting with other people because we’re all a part of the Earth, so if I can connect with myself and connect with the Earth then I can connect with other people as well in a way, energetically. I just tune in to my feelings and my love for nature and that feels really good, and that also extends to my love for everyone else and all living beings. So that’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and enjoying the connection part. Being alone, but never actually being alone.
I’m excited about, well, once this is posted it’ll technically be yesterday, but I’m excited for the 1st, because all of the photo members get to have video access now, and I’m excited to simplify my website a little more. Anybody that’s a photo member gets upgraded for free which is exciting, it’s my little present to you. I know I have more changes coming, I don’t know what that is, and that’s okay, I’m living into that liminal space of not knowing and I’m feeling more comfortable with figuring it out, not knowing, being okay with it, living my life, doing what feels best. I really want to cater myself and my work more toward ecosexuality and gender and sexuality spectrum, because I really feel like that’s kinda where my whole life is heading toward, and I think it’s really important stuff for everyone to talk about and consider. I want to be an advocate for ecosexuality and the gender and sexuality spectrum. I want to maybe.. I don’t know if I’ll post less nude content but, I want to be accessible to people, but at the same time I don’t want to censor myself just to be accessible to more people, because if they’re MY people, then they’re going to be cool with nudity, to be honest. I don’t think that there’s going to be a time in my life that I’m going to be pulling away from nudity. I want to find a way to really emphasize that nudity isn’t sexual, and have less cishetero dudes following me just because I’m a nude person on the internet with boobs and a vulva, and have more people follow me that are like ME, who aren’t adhering to gender and sexuality “norms” whatever the fuck that is.
*Looking overhead* I’m sorry I just got super distracted, there are hummingbirds! I heard them and I saw them! OMG they’re so cute! Such tiny little babies! Do you know what a hummingbird sounds like? They’re little chirps, it’s so cute. I must have scared them away with my talking, but I totally saw at least 2 hummingbirds, they were so cute, and I heard them a couple times, they were flying around between the trees here. What a great way to end this video!
Thank you for being here with me, I appreciate you so much! I’m totally open to any comments or questions or suggestions that you have. I want to be here for yall and create the kind of content that you’re interested in, while also staying true to myself and my wants and needs. I want to find that middle ground for all of us, whatever that is. I think anybody that is here purely for sexual reasons has probably weeded themselves out by now based on the stuff I’ve been posting, but I mean if you’re here just for sexual gratification by looking at naked people that’s fine, as long as you don’t bring me into that, or bring the models into that, keep it to yourself unless someone is asking you to bring your sexual desire to them, then just… don’t. Becuase that’s to me, the main thing that makes me hesitate with nudity is people nonconsensually forcing me to be a part of their sexualization of me, which I really don’t appreciate. I’m sure most of you probably don’t either, but that’s just an experience I have from being a naked person on the internet. It’s weird, I don’t really know how I got to this, but yeah I’m not here for sexual things. I mean, I am, but I’m not. It’s weird, because I’m demisexual and ecosexual, so I’m extremely picky about who I would even consider doing anything sexual with or having really intimate sexual conversations with, but in terms of broad general educational stuff about sexuality, I’m totally up for. But once it becomes an individual sexual thing, then I’m not up for it at all. So if you ever had any question about that, there’s my answer. I’m up for general questions that aren’t specific to me for the most part, or your own sexual things that involve me, I don’t want to be a part of that, but if you have general questions about like “what does this term mean?” or “how does your sexuality inform your decisions for your art?” or stuff like that, I’m totally cool with talking about that. As soon as it’s in the direction of objectifying me or bringing me into your sexuality without my consent, that’s where I draw the line. Not cool. Not for me. No thanks.
This video has gotten so long, I got distracted by hummingbirds, but that’s just my ecosexual heart expanding even more, and that’s nature showing me that it loves me back. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you being a part of this wild journey that is my life and my website. I appreciate all of you so much. I am able to pay rent because of you, I’m able to put food on my table because of you, I am able to continue creating because of you so I super appreciate it and you are an integral part of my life, my creative life, my educational learning and helping and sharing of information. I appreciate you! You mean a lot to me and I love hearing from you! I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you next week!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Ravyn Alexa & click here to view the fill photoset of Ambivalent Ann
click here to view the BTS video with Ravyn Alexa & click here to view the BTS video with Ambivalent Ann
First Look members:
click here to view the photoset of Tatyana Elizabeth wearing Whiskey Dog Wares taken by Kara Perry double exposed over my images of Yellowstone National Park & click here to view the video of me nude cooking and dancing