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Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hiii! This is the last week of these weekly posts, can you believe it? I kindof can’t to be honest, it’s here already. So this week I’m sharing a self portrait set that I took in the summer of 2019 during my cross country road trip, I have so many to share from there. This I took outside of Grand Staircase Escalante in Utah. Most of the self portrait sets that I took on my cross country road trip were in Utah because I spent all of June in Utah basically because I fucking love Utah. So I was outside of Grand Staircase Escalante and I was parked on the side of a dirt road, that I honestly don’t know where it went, I don’t know where the dirt road would have taken me to if I had driven the whole way. I was basically just parked on the side of a dirt road and taking photos behind my van, and don’t be startled please, hopefully, I hope I don’t scare you but HERE’S YOUR WARNING, in the BTS video for this photoset I think at the end of both of them, because I had to do 2 videos for it because cars kept driving by and I kept getting spooked and having to grab my phone and hide behind my van because I really thought I was alone but occasionally I wasn’t so yeah uhm I hope you’re not too startled when I grab the phone and run when I was taking these videos. To me its pretty funny, I hope you think it’s funny too. I have one of those sticker phone protector things on my cell phone and this is the same phone that I had when I was on my trip and I still have Utah dirt under some of the sticker on my phone because of this. When I was taking self portraits I took them with a digital camera because it has an interval timer and I could do self portraits way faster and take way more in a shorter amount of time than I could do with film. So I had my digital camera on a tripod a cute little mini tripod with these movable leg things where I would attach my phone on the top of the camera, so I would have like digital camera, cell phone. When I had to grab the camera, I would grab the whole camera and tripod, and when I grabbed the camera/tripod because I was trying to hide to make sure nobody saw me naked out in the middle of nowhere, my cell phone that was on top of the camera had fallen off of the camera because it wasn’t super securely attached, so I would grab my stuff and run and my phone would drop and I was like “oh shit.” I just think it’s funny, so you get to experience that in video form from the perspective of my cell phone camera, I hope you enjoy.
First look has access now to the self portrait double exposures that I took in June of 2020, this is one of the few photosets that I took. I had a roll of film that I took during my cross country road trip that was from Dead Horse Point State Park which is one of my favorite places in the world that I’ve been to, several times now because it’s incredible. That’s where the landscape part of it is from, the self portrait part was here at my house in June of 2020 in my makeshift studio, which is my black blanket draped over the couch that’s in front of the window in the living room. I had a little bit of trouble with these actually, I didn’t know until I got them developed, you’ll see when you see the photoset, a lot of them the image of me wasn’t exposed enough, it was underexposed, so you can’t really see me and it’s mostly just landscape. I think it’s because I was taking self portraits and I was doing this number where I was back here and reaching to the camera to press the camera to get it to do the self timer and then I would come back, so I think in the moving… it would assume it was taking the picture of me this close and then I would move back and the exposure needed to be different than when I was this close, so yeah so that didn’t work very well. But I still really love the photos that did show up, you’ll see what I mean when you see them. They’re still amazing landscapes so you’ll enjoy them either way hopefully. Then I also have, to make up for some of the only landscape photos, I also have some self portraits that I took in the summer of 2020, some of the very few things that I created in 2020, they’re medium format panoramic pinhole self portraits. The panoramic pinhole camera is one that I made with my dad when I was in college. Actually, if you hold on one second I’m going to get the camera and show you what it looks like because it’s really cool. Okay thank you for your patience.
This is the camera, there’s a pinhole in here, you probably can’t see because it’s really tiny, but that’s essentially the “lens” and this is my shutter, and this is the film advance. It is panoramic because it has the curved film plane, and it takes medium format film. So yeah I think it’s pretty cool. I need to re-glue this thing in here, because last time I shot with it this nut/bolt thing that came out, it’s just glued in there. There’s a photo in one of these self portraits that looks like a double exposure of me against a fence and then the sky and trees. That’s on accident because this fell off the tripod and was exposed to the sky and trees and I was like “fuck it, I’m going to still try to take a picture anyway” and then took a self portrait with that part of the film, so that’s what happened there. Some of these, not all of these, but some of these panoramic pinhole self portraits, I took during a live video chat with a few of you members. We just hung out on video chat while I was taking these photos in the back yard. Sorry I haven’t shown them to you yet, it’s been a while but uhm… here they are. So yeah if you want to know more about this camera I can talk to you more about it. It was pretty fun to make, I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again. You have to open it with a little screwdriver because this is the only way it opens, and also this is how I take the photos. I have this chart, I do a meter reading and find where it matches up. Say if it was f/8 1/60 of a second, then I would go all the way over here… so that means between 6 and 10 seconds I need to have the exposure, beacuse my aperture is tiny as fuck, it’s somewhere between f/150-f/200. So since it was between 6-10 seconds I would probably do an 8 second exposure, so that’s how I did all of those, is with this. And they turned out really well. Also if they were longer exposures, like some of them were probably around the 30 second range, yeah long exposure, you’ll see this because I did it a lot. I would go to one place and then count a third or a half of the time that I was supposed to take, and then move, so that it looked like a double exposure, but it’s really a single exposure, it’s just a long exposure and I moved. Yay photography.
This is a long video already but I want to give you a short recap of what is about to happen. This is the last weekly post like this for the foreseeable future, unless I change my mind. The things that will be happening soon: sometime in March I will be making a mass upload of all of the first look and all of my backlog content, photos and videos, so it’s a fuck ton, I’ll be doing a mass upload sometime in March. I’m also working on overhauling my whole website. I might be starting to do some of that before this comes out, we’ll see. I will be doing at least once a month members-only community gatherings online, virtual hangouts, and right now that’s the plan. I might be changing other things but right now at this point I’ll be doing the members-only events like online hangout topic let’s talk let’s learn let’s do things together. I would really like to experiment with virtual nude gatherings and focus more on creating free resources for people and talking more about queerness and gender and ecosexuality and non monogamy and… what else? I have a whole list, energy healing, movement as medicine, spirituality, plant medicine, all kinds of stuff. So more on that soon. I don’t want to give it all away.
So basically if you’re a member here you’re a sponsor of me creating things that will hopefully help everyone. I don’t want to gatekeep the information that I have that is helpful for a lot of people, whether or not they can afford it, like the queerness and ecosexuality kind of stuff. So yall will be the reason that I’m able to do that if that makes sense. Like, you’re a member to get perks, but also you’re allowing me to create things and share things that help everybody, so that means a lot, a whole lot. So that’s where I’m at right now. I will probably, my guess is I will still make some videos like this because vlogs are fun and I like to let yall know what’s going on so… it just won’t be, I won’t have a set schedule of when I’ll be posting stuff like this. I will probably make a schedule for our monthly video hangouts. Comment below or email me (OR CLICK HERE FOR A QUICK AND EASY SURVEY!) and tell me what days of the week work best for you, what times, I’m assuming nights and weekends, people probably work, let me know… I obviously probably can’t accommodate everyone’s schedule, but I’ll do my best to do the members-only virtual hangouts when the most amount of people are available. So that’s the plan right now, yay.
I can’t believe this is the last week. I love you, thank you for being here, it means so much! You are the reason that I can do any of this in the first place, so I appreciate it greatly. I love you. If you want to know more about my fancy wooden and metal panoramic pinhole camera, let me know, it might be fun to make a youtube video about it or something. Maybe we can do… maybe I can take more self portraits with it and you can be there live with me while I do it, that was pretty fun last time. Let me know if you want to do that again. Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, thank you so much, I’m excited to see where all these changes take all of us. Yeah I’m doing my overhaul of my website, some of it might already be done by the time this comes out. I’m doing some of these videos early so that I can get ahead and make sure I’m not too stressed last minute. I love you, thank you. *blows kiss* Love you! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 27 image self portrait photoset taken outside of Grand Staircase Escalante during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 2.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 38 image self portrait photoset double exposed with images from Dead Horse Point State Park in Utah
click here to view 29.5+ minutes of BTS video
click here to view the 14 image self portrait photoset taken on medium format film with the panoramic pinhole camera that my dad and I built when I was in college -
Olympia with Mandy Darling
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This is the second to last week of these weekly posts! Holy cow! It’s already like… wow February is flying. This week I’ll be sharing a photoset that’s kinda like a mixed photoset of several mediums. I think it’s digital, 35mm, medium format, and polaroid, I think? from Mandy Darling photographing me when I was in Olympia during my cross country road trip in 2019. Yeah I told you I have a whole lot from that trip I’m still posting, and this is not all of it, you’re gonna see a lot more when I do that mass upload in March. But for now, here’s a bunch of photos that Mandy Darling took of me, this was outside of her parent’s house in Olympia I believe? It was her parent’s house, it was a really beautiful place full of gardens and surrounded by woods and it was beautiful. I had a really great time so I hope you enjoy these photos. I don’t have BTS video, but the video from this week I’m sharing is actually a pretty fun video that I made in the spring of 2020. It’s multiple videos, I think it’s like 8 videos. In the spring of 2020 I took a walk in the woods that are behind my house to go to the ponds that are in my neighborhood, there’s a couple of little secret ponds hidden in the woods so it was me taking a walk in the woods and bringing you with me. Some of my favorite parts of this video are when I see little tiny frogs in the grass, there were so many tiny frogs this spring, it was so cute, I’m really excited to see them again. I think there’s a couple of moments when I’m searching for frogs and you can see how cute and tiny they are. So yeah just hanging out in the woods and taking you with me so I hope you enjoy that.
First look people, I will be sharing the double exposures that I took of Lior Allay during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens that was in December of 2020. It was so great, they were so amazing. I did doubles of them during this event and people that were at the event helped… what’s the word? helped direct Lior for some of the poses. So the last I think 6 poses of theirs that you see were directed by people that were at the event, so that was super fun and exciting, I really loved it. It was really enjoyable to create together as a group. I had never experienced anything like that and it was amazing. These doubles were taken with the photos of Bryce Canyon that I took during my cross country road trip. I hope you enjoy all of those.
If you are new here I’ll give you a recap of what is happening very soon. February I’ll do weekly posts like this through the end of February, so after this week there’s one more week of these weekly posts, and then starting in March I’ll be doing monthly members-only hangout gathering virtual live “in person” events, and you’ll also be able to get free admission to some of the paid events that I’ll be participating in or leading that are outside of just members only, they’re also for the public but they have to pay, but members will get to be in there for free. That and I will be in March also mass uploading everything from first look and my backlog which first look hasn’t even seen yet because I have so much content. I’m a little nervous about it because it’s a big change, I’ve been doing for the most part ish, weekly posts like this, since 2016 or 2017, so this is a big major change. I’m really excited about it because it’s going to allow me to have more time to create more free resources for everyone and to have more community experiences, which I’m much more interested in, where I’m in a community where we co-facilitate/cocreate an event together versus right now where I’m just like talking AT you and giving you access to stuff. That’s not as connecting for me, and I’m exited to get to know yall a little better and just…. nurture community. I think we all need community, especially during covid. If you have any questions please let me know, you can comment on this post, you can send me an email, you can contact me in another way if you want. Yeah I’m excited even though I’m scared. A lot will be changing, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going to go, because instead of talking AT you, I’ll be talking WITH you and that is more exciting to me. I’m starting off with one members-only event per month starting in March because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things because I’ll most likely be doing 2 events per month for Going Beyond the Lens.
Speaking of, I think by the time this comes out the event is already happening, I think? Oh I can’t look at my calendar because it’s on my phone and I’m recording on my phone! Oh I have a paper calendar too. Yeah so when this comes out it’s going to be on the 20th and the art share is on the 20th, so when this comes out you have a few hours left to sign up for the art share which is FREE! (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER) It’s going to happen at 1pm eastern time, so you have a little bit of time if you haven’t signed up yet, we would love to have you join us, whether or not you share your art with us. That’s through Going Beyond the Lens, I’ll put a link if you’d like more information (CLICK HERE FOR INFO), it’s the collective that I’m a cofounder of. What else? I think that’s all for this week. Change is scary but I’m excited and super thankful for you for being here with me through it. Yeah you mean so much to me and I’m so excited to have more opportunity to grow with you, so thank you. I love you! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 69 image photoset taken by Mandy Darling in Olympia Washington during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 8 videos of me taking you on a walk through the woods from spring 2020
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 38 image photoset of Lior Allay doubled with Bryce Canyon National Park during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens with Roarie Yum
click here to view 31 BTS photos/videos -
Self Portraits in Utah – Among Goblins
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Welcome to the.. what is it? Third to last week of these weekly posts like this, whaaat? So this week I’m sharing another photoset from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019 because I have to much to share from that. I’m not even going to be sharing them weekly like this. I have so many that they won’t fit into the last weeks of February so you’ll get most of them when I mass upload them in March. It’s going to be a lot, a whole lot.
So this week, are photos, I think it’s over 100 photos, self portraits that I took in Goblin Valley, very exciting, I really like them, I hope you do too. I have BTS videos for these photos also. First look is getting access to the self portrait photoset that I took at my friend Quinn Sanguine‘s house in Tacoma Washington, also during my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. These I took in Quinn’s bedroom, they had a cool setup with lights on their wall, it was really cute and I really like the orange tone in their room, so I took advantage and took a bunch of self portraits while I was there. So that’s it for what’s new this week.
To recap the changes that will be happening soon. February is the last month I’ll be doing weekly posts like this. In March I will be mass-uploading everything from my backlog and first look galleries, which is a WHOLE lot, a whole whole lot. So I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be dropping that mass upload, but that will be coming in March hopefully. Also in March start doing at least once a month members-only video hangouts so we can be together live “in person” virtually. I’m starting off with once a month because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things all the time, which is another reason why I am not pressuring myself to do these weekly posts, not pressuring myself to create work constantly because as you know, if you’ve been here for any amount of time, I created like 4 or 5 photosets in the entirety of 2020. I know that my work, it’s not conducive to pressure and the requirement of “oh I have to do this thing right now” that just means I’m going to create something that doesn’t have intention and thought and real creativity behind it if I’m stressed about it and feeling like “oh I have to make something right now” then it’s just going to be something I made because I felt like I needed to. That doesn’t do justice to me as an artist and it doesn’t do justice to you as a member of my website enjoying my art, because if it’s something I feel like I have to do that I rush through then the quality of it is diminished and it’s just not as good. I’m committed to doing things in the timing that works for me, which is not going to necessarily be consistent. So yeah I hope that you also give yourself grace in that way if you’re able to if you’re a creator.
What else is new that I’m forgetting? By the time this comes out the EcoLove Playshop will have already happened, but you still have time to sign up for the Art Share for Going Beyond the Lens which is the 3rd Saturday of every month. I’m very excited to see your art. What else? Yeah so while I’m in this transitionary phase, I’m keeping things to a simplistic, minimalistic, sense thing… just to make sure that I’m not overwhelming myself, because I want to provide yall with quality content and quality time with me. Just because it’s not weekly like it has been in the past, I know that I’m going to be doing my best and still offering yall quality art and time with me. So yeah my archive will be available for all members and will be a lot bigger than it was, very soon in March. Like there’s SO MUCH in first look alone that it’s going to take a while to do the mass upload but I’m excited because yall are going to be in for a huge treat, with all this content. It is really scary to make changes like this and to make a leap of faith with myself and make changes in what I’m doing but I feel much more excited and… what’s the word? Maybe rejuvenated by the potential of what this could be. Right now at this point it feels like I’m talking AT you and just like “here have photos, here have videos” and while I super love all my photos and videos, it doesn’t feel like we’re connecting with each other. It feels like I’m providing content and you’re consuming it, and I would really like to start being in a community space with you instead of like “here you go!” Now it will be more like “lets hang out together and get to know each other and share our art or whatever” so yeah I’m excited for these changes even though it’s scary.
Okay uhm yeah if you have any questions comments concerns ideas whatever, comment on this post or email me or however you feel like contacting me, I would love to hear from you. I wonder if doing a 2-part content drop would be better than doing it all at once. I’ll think about it. Or you can let me know what you think! Ok I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate that you are going on this journey of change and exploration and figuring shit out with me, it means a lot! I’m excited to go on this exploration with you and to get to know myself better and to get to know you better, and to have fun. I love you! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 106 image self portrait photoset Among Goblins in Utah
click here to view the 13.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 50 image self portrait photoset I took at Quinn Sanguine‘s in Tacoma Washington -
Doubles with Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Ok so I am excited because I feel better since I have more of a plan for what I want to do with my website. We are officially into February which means it’s our last month of the weekly things like this. I’m excited so here we go!
This week I’m sharing double exposures that I took of Eva Luna & KH from my cross country road trip in 2019 at that nude beach that I’ve already told yall about a couple of times because I’ve shared.. I think this is the last thing I have to share from that day with them. These are the double exposures that I took of them. The landscapes are from Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks from earlier in that same trip when I was in California. I think they’re super beautiful, I really love how they came out. There’s also behind the scenes video for this photoset, so yay!
And then first look folks, I’m sharing the double exposures… this is a whole double exposure week. I’m sharing the double exposures that I took of Dawn, also known as coconutdreamin in the past. They’re so dreamy. The doubles…. I think it was last week, I shared me posing for Dawn, and this week it’s Dawn posing for me for the doubles so it was in the same place. I have BTS of this as well. The doubles, the landscape part of the doubles is from Glacier National Park in Montana from my cross country road trip, and the photos of Dawn I took in my house in NC, in… I’m pretty sure it was November or December of 2019. Dawn cut their hair also recently, so this before Dawn cut their hair, but Dawn has short hair now also, pretty exciting. Yeah so I don’t want to make this super long because my plan is to make some of these videos early so that I can get ahead so I can plan more exciting things for yall, and also so that I can get a head start on the mass upload of everything once March rolls around, so excited for that.
If you’re new here and you haven’t seen the past blogs that I’ve done in the last month, I’m doing an overhaul of my website and February is the last month of these weekly posts like this. In March I’ll be mass uploading everything from my backlog and all the things from First Look will be available for everybody. I’m also I think going to make one membership tier and it’s just going to be sliding scale, that’s what I’m thinking about doing because I feel like, just makes the most sense, it’s the most simple, and it also means that everything is accessible to everybody and you pay what you’re able to pay. I’ll have more information on that soon, I’ll be rebuilding my membership page, rebuilding my whole website yay! Not really excited about that because also how do I brand?! So yeah that’s something I’m thinking about a lot is like, do I wanna do branding for my website? How do I do that? What do I want my colors to be? What do I want my fonts to be? What do I want to emphasize? So right now I’m really focusing on I think… you might be excited for this, because I think most people that come to my website are most intrigued by nude gatherings, which… I am excited to tell you… I don’t have any official plans yet but my plan is to make a plan for virtual nude gatherings! So yay! That’s really exciting to me. So yeah I want to focus on virtual hangout things, nude and non nude, like educational opportunities where I share the knowledge that I have and you also share the knowledge that you have because I’m not a guru that knows everything. I know a little bit about a lot of things so I want to share knowledge, not just dispense it. I want to.. what’s the word. I want to circulate it around, I want to facilitate the sharing of knowledge, not like “I hold all of it and you have to be a certain way in order for me to share it with you” no. So I’m excited about all of that, the potential for all of these changes is pretty exciting, while it’s also scary at the same time. You know, life changes are scary but also exciting.
So yeah…. I’m going to do a quick recap of my plans, even though I’ve kinda been doing a recap of my plans here already. Weekly posts will continue as they have been through February and then will be no more. I will hopefully in March mass upload all of my backlog and first look into the galleries for everyone. I’ll be redoing my website, restructuring my memberships. If you’re already a member this won’t affect you, because everything will stay the same for you basically, you’ll just be most likely having more access to more content because it’s in my backlog right now that you’ll be getting in March, hopefully. March is the plan. Starting hopefully in March I’ll be doing at least one monthly members-only video virtual hangout community gathering thing. I probably will have themes or topics for us to talk about. I would like to have some kind of structure around it but I don’t want to just be talking AT you the whole time, I want to have a conversation between us.
I will be, OH! I haven’t told yall this yet. Or… I might post about it before this comes out. On February 12th, it’s a Friday, I will be… what’s the word… a special guest maybe? I will be helping with a, they’re calling it a playshop, which is exciting. I’ll be a part of a playshop called EcoLove Playshop that is hosted by Lior Allay & Jenna Citrus. I’m very excited because it’s centered around loving ourselves and loving the earth and coming together as a community to do those things, so I’m really excited about that. I’ll put the link in the caption below so you can sign up. (SIGN UP HERE!) If you’re not a member of my website it’s $11 to register, but as a member, you get to join for free! So I’ll share with you the code to get in for free instead of having to pay for it, so yay, another perk to being a member, is events like that that are pay to register, you’ll get to register for free! (EDIT: You must be a member of mine, Lior’s, and Jenna’s sites to receive a free ticket.) I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be really beautiful. I’ve already sent Lior my two cents to share in the slideshow, and I’ll lead a short energy practice for us. I believe I’ll be at the beginning of the playshop, so I’m excited to do a little thing at the beginning and then experience it with you, yay.
What else? On the third Saturday of every month is going to be the Art Share through Going Beyond the Lens. That’s going to continually happen. Those are free, whether you’re a member or not those are free for everybody. I’m excited about that. If you have art you’d like to share with us, I’ll share the signup info below also! (REGISTER HERE!) There’s a recurring eventbrite for that through May I believe, is what we have it scheduled through, so far. The plan is to do it every month, we have the recurring event go through May for now. Yeah! I’m excited! I hope you are too.
It means a WHOLE lot that you’re here in the first place, at all. I really appreciate that you’re here through these changes and updates and… me trying to figure out what I’m doing. It means a lot, so thank you. Yeah… I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy these double exposures, I really love them and I hope you do too. *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 36 image double exposure photoset of Eva Luna & KH with Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks
click here to view the 15.5 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 37 image double exposure photoset of Dawn Iler aka coconutdreamin with Glacier National Park
click here to view 16.5 minutes of BTS video -
Self Portraits in Utah – Enclosed
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, okay so this week I’m sharing a photoset with you that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019. This is a self portrait set that I took, this is also… I think recently, when did I do it, at the beginning of January I shared a photoset from the same place. This photoset is a little more closer up than that one was, and it’s more of me in this little private canyon that I had basically right behind my camping area which was incredible and wonderful and I super loved it and I spent a lot of time back there when I was staying there, which wasn’t very long, but most of the time I was there I was in this little canyon. I have several other photosets from the same place that I will be sharing in the future, but for now you have this photoset and the behind the scenes video to enjoy.
First look people I have some photos to share with you and BTS video of when I was posing for my friend Dawn Iler. You probably also know of her… actually… THEY. Dawn recently started using they/them pronouns so, excuse my error, they took photos of me back… I think it was the winter? November, December of 2019. They were visiting here on their way to… I think they were going to Texas. They live in NY State and they were traveling to Texas so they stopped by and stayed with me for a couple days on their way down there. We photographed each other which was wonderful. I don’t think I shared the photos I took of them with yall yet, but these are the photos they took of me. We took them in my living room, in like a makeshift “studio”. You’ll see what I mean when you see the video because it’s basically like, the black blanket that I keep on my bed, I’m looking around because it’s right here. Underneath my butt, I’m sitting on it. My big black blanket that I keep on my bed, it’s that blanket draped over the back of the couch, which is my “studio” in front of the big window in the living room so the light’s really nice. So these are the photos Dawn took of me.
For more information about my website: I have made some decisions, not 100% done with my decisions but I have decided to continue doing these weekly like I’ve been doing for years, doing these videos and talking to you and stuff, at least through mid-February. I’m considering if I want to do through the end of February just to keep even months. Then starting in most likely March I will… I don’t know when I’ll mass-upload all of the things, but I’m probably also going to be doing away with the first look membership because I’m just gonna take everything that’s in first look, everything that’s in my backlog, and put them all available for everybody. Yeah this feels kinda scary. So I’m pretty sure that I’ll be doing that maybe early to mid March, in terms of my mass upload of my backlog. That’s going to take some time to do because it’s a lot of things. So I think I will do these weekly posts like I have been through the end of February. I have stuff planned through Feb 13th so I have a couple weeks left to plan, and then after that I’ll sometime in March do a mass upload of everything and update the directories and stuff. And then after that I will… probably not do weekly updates, because I’ll have already shared all of my backlog with you. Right now my thinking is I will do the weekly updates through the end of February. Sometime in March, depending on how long it takes me to get it done, mass upload everything from first look and my backlog so that everyone has access to all the things. Then I will not pressure myself to create things on a weekly basis because I have done that in the past and it… basically like the quality of my work is lower if I feel like “oh I have to do this. Oh it’s Friday and I want to have something for Saturday so let me just shoot something.” That to me that is not the kind of creative artistic process that brings me the ability to do good work. It’s more stressful and “oh let me do something so I have something for them” but that doesn’t feel good. So… I will create if I feel like it. Which, as you know, hasn’t been very much at all in the last like year and a half. But I literally have SO MUCH that you haven’t seen yet so it’ll be quite a while before you’ll be like “I want new things!” I’m not going to pressure myself to… sorry I’m picking a little scab that I have on my arm but it’s really annoying and I shouldn’t be doing it but… I did. So yeah this is pretty stressful and scary for me but I feel like I’m giving myself freedom by doing this. In 2020 I took like 4 or 5 photosets the whole year. So I don’t have an expectation of myself to create constantly, and I don’t want yall to have an expectation of new things from me constantly.
What I will do instead of sharing new photosets and stuff with you, I’ll be offering more online live video gathering type things when where we can hang out “in person” virtually, which I’m must more excited about than thinking about having to create more photosets. I don’t know the frequency of that yet, I’m probably going to start off with once a month to make sure that I don’t overdo myself because I’m already doing events through Going Beyond the Lens also. So basically members will have access to my archive, will be invited to members-only virtual hangouts, and I want to do more with, maybe more education kind of things, or “let’s learn things together” like I’ll tell you the kinds of things that I’m learning and you can share your personal experience with those things. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts and feelings about queerness, ecosexuality, non monogamy, gender, those kinds of things. So I’d really love to explore those more in depth. My tattoo is so itchy yall! I got my arm done recently and it’s just so itchy, it’s in the itchy stage and I’m trying really hard to not fuck with it.
So yeah, the plan is, to recap: things will continue as normal through February, and then starting in March, at some point in March, depending on how much time it takes me to do it, I will mass upload everything that’s in the backlog and in first look. This is pretty scary to think about, and then starting in March I’ll do monthly live virtual hangouts. I’ll probably have a topic for us to focus on so it’s not just like, sitting around just talking about random things. I feel better when there’s a focus, instead of just like “how was your day?” I fucking hate small talk yall, I hate it. I want to have a focus so that we can like… I feel like we’re learning together. So starting in March we’ll have virtual hangouts and uhm I’m going to try to make more free things. I don’t want to keep all of the cool and interesting things behind a paywall, so basically memberships are for people who want to help me continue to make free things for everyone, and also to have access to my archive because that’s a WHOLE LOT of photos and videos and just content in general. So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ll have it fleshed out with better plans in the future. I’m also planning on overhauling my website and making everything different than what it is currently. So also keep an eye out for that, I might do that March-ish? Maybe starting some of it in February? I don’t have a complete schedule for that yet because I’m still figuring out how I want my website to be set up.
But yeah… it’s pretty scary for me because it’s a big change. I’ve been doing basically the same thing for my website since like 2016 or 2017 so making a big change like this is scary and I’m just going to take the leap because I think I will truly be happier honestly, and less stressed, if I do it this way. I hope you’ll be along for the ride with me. I understand if you signed up for one thing and it’s changing and you no longer want to be here which I understand, no hard feelings. If you want to help support me, pay my bills, help me share queer info with other people for free, it would mean a whole lot. A whole whole lot. It already means a lot that you’re here already. Also I’m probably going to redo my art wall in my room at some point because I’m kinda tired of looking at white naked bodies all the time. Like there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not bad, I super love naked bodies. I don’t want my work to focus on like.. nude photography. To me, nude photography is super amazing and a big part of my life, but I don’t see it being quite as big of a part of my life in the future, because I want to expand into more purpose and intention and I think that by changing the way that I’m doing things will help me to create that intention and purpose. This is a super long video! Appreciate you watching and listening or reading or whatever you’re doing. Yeah I’m excited and nervous about what is coming. If you have any ideas, questions, concerns, comments, I would love to hear them, please reach out. Comment on this post or email me or whatever way you wanna contact me. Yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts. Ok. I’m done. I love you. Goodbye.
All members:
click here to view the 52 image self portrait photoset in Utah during my cross country road trip in summer 2019
click here to view the 5.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 40 image film photoset of me taken by Dawn Iler (aka coconutdreamin)
click here to view 20+ minutes of BTS video -
Self portraits in Utah – Between
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends, I have been having a rough week and I assume many of you probably have been too with all of the bullshit that’s going on in the world right now, so I’m going to try to keep this short.
This week I’m sharing a self portrait set that I took in Utah summer of 2019. I still have a lot of self portrait sets from that trip to share with you so continue to look for that in the future, I have a lot still. This photoset I took, it was actually basically behind where my camping space was. I had a campsite and behind it was this little mini canyon that was totally private to my campsite, so that was incredible and of course I took advantage of that and took a bunch of self portraits back in that little canyon, so this is one of the self portraits sets from that. I’m also sharing behind the scenes video from this self portrait set.
First look people, I’m sharing some photos that were taken with Tiffany Helms and her partner Jeff Waters. We went to this abandoned place on Bainbridge Island and it was very cool and took some photos there and it was super fun, so that’s going to First Look this week. I think there’s photos and videos.
Uhm.. anybody that’s new, if you haven’t been here very long on my website. If you scroll back to past vlogs, like every Saturday I come out with this. If you scroll back to past ones you’ll see that I have been working towards shifting to something different with my website, and I’m still figuring out exactly what that is but I feel like I’m getting closer. I know I want to focus more on community building and live online virtual hangout type things, and have less of a focus on photography, so yeah still figuring that out. I am open to any requests, questions, comments, things like that, so if you have something to say in regards to that please comment, I would love to hear it.
Yeah, I’m gonna keep this short and sweet, I hope you enjoy these photos, I love you so much, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you next week.
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset in Utah
click here to view the 2.5 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 11 image photoset of me (+ some with Tiffany Helms) taken by Jeff Waters
click here to view 18.5 minutes of BTS video -
Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I am doing this video a week in advance and prepping this week’s content a week in advance also because when this will be happening, when I usually would have been recording this and sharing it I will be in Durham with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. I wanted to do this early so that I could really focus on being present with Lior and Roarie while we’re in person together in Durham. I’m so excited. By the time this video comes out the event will already have happened, but if you missed it and didn’t get to sign up for the Backstage Pass event, I’m going to link below to all the information about it, because if you missed it, I’m not sure how, but just in case I’m going to put the link below. (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) If you missed the event, because this is going to be coming out on January 2nd and the event is December 30th. If you missed the event and you didn’t sign up and you’re like “oh nooo I really wanted to watch yall create together and I really wanted to see what questions you answered and I wanted to be a part of that and I totally forgot!” or whatever, you can donate $11 or more to me or Lior or Roarie or I can link our bigcartel shop below which is where you can donate, there’s a lot of different amounts you can donate, but if you donate $11 or more we will send you the recording! (CLICK HERE TO DONATE) So if you missed it and you’re kicking yourself for it, email me or something and I can get you set up. So yeah $11 or more and you can get the recording, yay!
Okay now back to website things. This week I’m sharing a photoset that I took in the summer of 2019 with Eva Luna and KH and this was outside of Portland Oregon. We went to a nude beach, which was amazing and probably my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland. There’s a lot of places I went and I can’t say that I had one particular favorite over the whole trip, actually maybe I can I have a couple of favorites, but… In terms of my time in Portland, my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland was this nude beach. I just love being places where it’s expected for you to be naked, who would have known haha. Places where it’s okay to be naked out in nature to me are super important and super my kind of places so yeah this was a very fun shoot. I met up with Eva and KH and we drove together to this nude beach and we hung out for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures and it was super fun. I did have an upsetting thing happen while we were there. So earlier in my road trip when I was in Joshua Tree I posed for Moss Von Faustenberg and he took several polaroids and he gave me 3 or 4 of them which I was super excited about because I love having tangible things and also the photos were really amazing. So these polaroids I had in my camera bag and when we were shooting we didn’t want to lug all of our stuff all around the beach the whole time, so we found a nice spot just in the woods right off of the beach. There was this little clearing and we put all our stuff there and kept an eye on it as much as we could. We didn’t keep an eye on our stuff well enough because someone went through our stuff and I…. guess, I don’t know, they must not have cared much about stealing cameras or phones or credit cards. They just moved our stuff around and the only thing they stole from me, they stole those polaroids, and I was very sad. But I was also very thankful that it wasn’t like my whole camera bag or my phone or keys or credit card or ID or all the things, I could have been so screwed. All they stole was… I had this tin, it was like a tin that chocolate came in from Switzerland, it was like swiss chocolate, used to be swiss chocolate, it was a tin that had swiss chocolate in it, it was the perfect size to keep polaroids in. I had the polaroids in it and this like crinkley rainbowey holographicy shiny clearish paper plasticky stuff that was really fun to put in front of the lens to get cool light and color and stuff. That film paper stuff and the polaroids were in that tin and that tin is the only thing that got stolen. I guess they really liked the nude polaroids and didn’t care about my camera and credit card? I’m very thankful that that’s all they stole but also I’m really sad because the only evidence I have of those polaroids is a really short video that I took of the polaroids. If you’re in the first look tier, the Nov 28th post that I did when I shared the like fuck ton of stuff that I was a part of in Joshua Tree, you can see that really short video that includes the polaroids in it, in that content. So that’s the only evidence of those polaroids that I have. I was supposed to have the physical polaroids that I was bringing home, but they didn’t make it. Somebody stole them when I was in Portland. I was really sad about that, but I was also very thankful that it wasn’t anything more crucial that they stole from me because I could have been really screwed. Those photos, these are the single exposures that I took of Eva and KH and also I’m sharing the BTS video from that shoot. I think they’re amazing photos I’m so excited.
For First look this week I’m sharing a self portrait photoset that I took with my mom and some behind the scenes video from that. The self portraits that I took with my mom we took them in this room, my bedroom. This was before I moved in here again so this room was empty and we took advantage of that space. I’m gonna turn this… just took photos in front of my curtain. Uh yeah so self portraits with my mom in here when there was nothing here and yay.
That’s my story for this week. I love you! Thank you so much for being here! It is because of you that I’m able to do any of this and that means the world to me that you enjoy my content and you care what I have to say in some capacity, that you support me in this adventure that is my self employment as an artist, even when I barely create anything anymore. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there are major changes coming to my website soon, I don’t exactly know what that is yet but I know more and more that that is coming up. Head’s up, things are changing, I don’t know what or when but it’s gonna happen at some point because I’m not totally happy with the way things are done on my website right now. Like, I have a system in place that works but it’s not as fulfilling and exciting and fun as I would like it to be, so I want to shift things around and I don’t know exactly what that is yet. You’ll know when I know.
I love you so much! Thank you for being here, it means so much to me and literally means that I can pay my bills so that means a lot, in this capitalist bullshit existence. Well the existence isn’t bullshit, it’s the capitalist stuff that’s bullshit but you know, I’m trying to live outside of capitalism in any way that I can, which is very hard, but we’re doing what we can here. I love you. *blows kiss* bye!
All members:
click here to view the 36 image photoset of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach in Oregon summer 2019
click here to view the 30.5+ minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 41 image self portrait photoset with Mommy at home soon before I moved back in (2019)
click here to view 21.5 minutes of BTS video -
V and her family
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! This week… I guess I’ll tell you what I’m sharing first and then I’ll tell you what’s currently going on for me in my life. This week I’m sharing a photoset (sorry my phone is being funky) that I took of my friend V and her partner and their oldest baby. This was probably I think last year, 2019? Maybe late 2018? I didn’t look at the dates but it wasn’t this year because I’ve not really shot anything this year. Well I have shot like 2 things but it’s not enough for me to say that I’ve made much this year. These photos were taken at V & her partner’s house, and it was so cute because they were just doing like… you know, they were being a family and I was just there to capture some of that and it was wonderful and adorable and also funny and their baby I think he was maybe around a year and she was pregnant with her second baby, well her second baby with this partner. She has an older child that wasn’t there. Yeah so it’s the little family with another little one on the way. It was just fun photos, we didn’t really go into it with any really specific plans, we just wanted to capture their family. Her partner doesn’t model very much but it was really wonderful and adorable to just be with them as a family and just take photos, it was fun.
The video I’m sharing this week is a video I took I think it was last year in the summer, I think it was between the time I went on my road trip and chopped all my hair off, I think. It’s me just doing, nude, doing yoga and intuitive movements, dancing kindof, so it’s just like a nude movement video, which is great.
First look people have… I’m going to share a MASSIVE amount of stuff with first look this week. It’s ALL of the photos from Joshua Tree in summer 2019 when I was on my road trip. Er… all the REST of the photos. I think I’ve already shared all of the other JT photos with me and June St Paul when we shot each other. This is… there are 3 photographers, Moss Von Faustenberg, Ellin Aldana, and Lady River. They all 3 came and we hung out and traipsed around this airbnb that you’ve already seen in the other JT stuff. Airbnb compound basically, it’s a whole bunch of different little airbnbs in this main space. MASSIVE massive. I think just the photos that I’m sharing from Moss are several hundred photos, and that’s just the photos from him, so…. plus the photos from both other photographers and BTS videos. It’s like.. a fuck ton of stuff. Like, a whole lot. A lot a lot. So that’s massive, first look go enjoy those it’s gonna be a whole lot. You’ll have a lot of time to look through it because there’s so much.
I don’t know if you can hear the dogs…. I’m currently in Virginia at my grandmother’s house. This is her giant oak tree that’s in her back yard. Of course that’s where I wanted to be to make this video. It’s quite large. So I didn’t have any plans to travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas because of covid, but my grandmother, I call her Granny so I’m going to call her Granny here because that’s who she is, she’s Granny. Granny got into a car accident on 11/5 and was in the hospital for over a week and is back home now, where I am currently at her house. She’s 89, she before the accident was living by herself and doing her own thing, going to exercise class and getting her hair done, you know, taking care of herself. Since the accident she’s broken several bones, er, she broke several bones during the accident and she’s still recovering and she can’t do all the things that she used to do right now so she needs a lot of help and my 2 aunts and me, we’re all taking turns helping her around the house. She can get around with a walker but she needs a little supervision standing up and getting down and she has a few cracked vertebra in her neck so she has to wear this collar/neck brace thing which is keeping her from sleeping very well because she has to wear it 24/7, so someone has to stay with her through the night because she usually wakes up every hour or two or three. So we have to… she wakes up and wants to get out of bed, half the time she has to pee so we have to help her get to the bathroom. But yeah she needs extra help now so… I didn’t have any plans for traveling during the holidays but I’m here helping out because she needs some help, and I work on my computer so I can work from her house or my house, so I might as well be here to help her out. I did take a covid test right before I came here to make sure that I wasn’t like… having covid and just asymptomatic so I made sure that I was really safe before I came. Got a negative result obviously since I’m here. Just wanted yall to know that I’m not being.. you know… not careful. I’m definitely being careful.
I am thankful that yall are the reason that I am able to work remotely from my computer and yall are the reason that I’m able to help take care of my Granny. If I had a regular 9-5 job I wouldn’t be able to be here to help out. It’s kinda hard since she basically needs attention 24/7 ish. She’s doing really well but she needs help with certain things so you basically have to be here with her the whole time because if she needs to get up you gotta help her out. It’s a 24/7 type of thing and one of my aunts has been here for a few weeks and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep as you can imagine. The other aunt has been working but she’s a teacher so she’s on her break for school so she’s able to help out more too. The aunt who has been here just left earlier today and is going to be at her house and resting and taking care of her house things and then coming back before I leave. So there’s going to be 2 people here with Granny for the foreseeable future. I’m here this week and then I’m going back home for my birthday and then I’m getting more of my tattoo done early December and then mid-December I’m coming back.
Yeah.. because of yall I’m able to be here and help Granny. That means SO MUCH to me, yall have no idea. I just wanted to say thank you because it means a whole lot that yall are here supporting me and that I can work remotely and help out my Granny and still be able to work because I just need a computer and internet access. So yeah yall are the reason I’m able to do that and I thank you so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. It’s cold but I’m outside because I wanted to be with the oak tree. I remember there used to be a swing that hung from this branch.. that one…. this one. There used to be a swing that hung from that branch and I would swing when I was a kid out here. There used to be a sandbox over here that I would play with my sister. That is their neighbor’s house, that’s my aunt’s house, and then Granny’s house is that way… like… there. So my one aunt is super close, my other aunt lives in Blacksburg which is a couple hours from where my Granny is. But yeah, anyway. Thank you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here.
CAPTION FOR 2ND VIDEO:
My last video was interrupted by neighbor dog Jay Jay who likes to bark a lot at me. So I’m probably going to cut that out and put this in there so if it’s cut off funky that’s why. It’s kinda startling to have a dog suddenly be barking at you. I’ll see what the video looks like, it might be funny, so I might keep it, but if it’s too startling I might cut out the part where dog’s barking at me. He’s harmless, he’s just very protective and loud. He’s the next door neighbor’s dog…. that’s Jay Jay. That’s all I have to say, I just wanted to do this little video to let you know why the other one was cut off funny. Yes, okay. I love you. Thank you. I’m so thankful that I can be here, so thank you. It’s because of you.
PS- MY 31ST BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 30TH!
31% OFF EVERYTHING* IN MY SHOP INCLUDING SALE ITEMS
USE CODE ’31BDAY’ TO GET THE DISCOUNT
SALE ENDS DECEMBER 1ST <3
*The only item excluded from the sale is the pay what you can membership since it’s already discounted. =]
All members:
click here to view the 32 image photoset of V & her family
click here to view the 4.5+ minute video of me doing intuitive movements & yoga from 2019
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 332 image photoset of me taken by Moss Von Faustenberg in Joshua Tree during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 119 image photoset of me taken by Ellin Aldana in JT
click here to view the 33 image photoset of me taken by Lady River in JT
click here to view 41 minutes of BTS video -
More self portraits from Chicago
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Good morning! This week I’m sharing 2 self portrait sets from Chicago from several years ago, probably 2017… I think? 2016? 2017? I think 2017. Yeah I keep finding these that I forgot that I had so…. enjoy! They’re from 2 different airbnbs, like some of the ones I already shared. One of them is from the first airbnb that I stayed in that had cool furniture. There was this orange chair that I was like “I want to take pictures with this” and the other set is me with plants that were in the other airbnb that I stayed in. So this is from the same trip, from 2 different airbnbs.
The video I’m sharing this week was a random naked outdoor video that I took at the beginning of quarantine, the beginning of all the covid stuff. It was maybe March or April or May… maybe June. I didn’t look at the date that I took it. I randomly was like “I feel like hanging out naked outside” and why not make a video? So that’s what this is, there’s no caption, not really much sound, it’s just me doing my naked thing around the yard, so that one you can enjoy too.
The first look members, I have another self portrait set from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. This photoset is one of the first photosets that I took in Nevada, so we’re actually out of Utah for this one, we’re in Nevada. It was so beautiful, the colors there were so intense and just amazing, so self portrait set and behind the scenes from me in Nevada. I hope you like it. I don’t think it was that set, but it was another set from that same day. I was in Nevada, I was in a park and someone came up while I was shooting and I frantically got dressed. You’ll see it in the video, it’s not in this one, it’s in one that I’ll be sharing soon I think, maybe I shouldn’t tell this story, maybe I’ll save it for when I actually share it.
Anyway, this weekend, today is not this weekend yet when I’m recording this, but when you see this on Saturday morning, you still have a couple hours to sign up for the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie and SPECIAL GUEST Marcus! So excited! So we’re talking about erotic art. I’m very excited, I’m also pretty nervous because it’s going to be a very vulnerable and uncomfortable conversation for me to have, but I’m still looking forward to it because I think there’s going to be a lot of really valuable information that everyone’s going to share and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s perspective and sharing mine (which is vulnerable and scary). If you’d like to join me, it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE, I’ll put the link in the caption below. You can sign up, it’s free, it’ll be at 1pm eastern Saturday the 21st, which is the day that I am releasing this! So you have a couple of hours from me sharing this post til the event happens, so CLICK AND REGISTER ASAP so that you can join us for FREE! Haha I rhymed. Yeah I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be amazing. We have already done (as of the time I’m recording this), we’ve already done 2 of the livestreams on the Going Beyond the Lens instagram account. I will also link that below. If you want to watch the livestreams where we give a sneak preview about what we’re going to be talking about during the event. Go watch those, most of them are around 20 minutes ish long. Today is technically Wednesday, I’m recording this a little early because I have a lot of stuff going on this week. Today is technically Wednesday, and the first 2 lives happened already so you can already go watch those. I mean by the time you watch this, the one on Friday that I’m doing with Roarie will already have also happened… but um yeah I’m excited! Please join! We would love to have you be a part of the conversation. There’s probably not going to be any time left to submit an image, but I hope there have been a lot of people that submitted images to this event so that we can share your work also. So we’re probably going to be promoting the image sharing a lot on the instagrams.
CLICK HERE FOR FREE REGISTRATION TO THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE FOR A LAST MINUTE SUBMISSION OF YOUR EROTIC ART TO BE SHARED AT THE EVENT
Yeah I’m excited. I love you! Thank you for being here! That’s all I have to say today. I just think yall are wonderful and amazing and I’m glad that you’re here on my website and you mean the world to me. Love you, bye!
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset with an orange chair from a trip to Chicago in 2017
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset with plants from that same Chicago trip
click here to view the 6 minute video of me hanging out nude in my back yard during quarantine
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 30 image self portrait photoset in the Nevada desert (Sixth Sister)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Buddy’s Blue Room
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Okay so this week I’m not on my period so I’m more present and not in pain so that’s nice. This week *clears throat* I swear I’ve been awake for several hours. Oooh a squirrel! There’s a fence right outside my window and it’s a normal thing for a squirrel to be scurrying across the top of the fence and I just saw one do that and it’s cute.
This week the photoset I’m sharing with you is a photoset that I took of self portraits in May of 2019 that was taken in a photographer’s house. I went to Nashville TN back in May of 2019, time is weird yall. The photographer hosted me, he had a lot of good references so I felt safe to be hosted there. The room that he had available for me was this blue room with a big really cool painting in it of a big face and there was a real huge mirror in there so I of course took advantage of the cool space and took some self portraits in that room, so that’s the ones I’m sharing with you today. I was going to be shooting with this photographer but he wasn’t feeling well so we ended up not shooting and I just stayed at his house. It’s this cool big old house and he had been renovating rooms a bit at a time. The bathroom was really cool, he had a clawfoot tub and a fancy walk-in tiled shower. I think I took a video of me taking a shower in that shower, and I don’t recall if I’ve share that yet or not. I have so much content it’s hard for me to keep up with what I’ve shared and what I haven’t. I should look and see if I can find that because I know I made that video, of me taking a shower in that cool shower. Yeah I really liked his house it was really cool and it was like, close to a lot of stuff. There’s some fancy restaurants that were basically walking distance, I could have walked to them, but I didn’t know how close they were so I drove and I was like “why didn’t I just walk?” I had a good time staying at his place and I… one of my two favorite colors is blue, my other favorite color is green, and if I had a third favorite color it would be purple. My colors are blue green and purple. I also really like brown but that’s beside the point. So of course this blue room with a big mirror and a cool painting I had to take some self portraits so, here you are!
The videos I’m sharing this week are from several years ago to be honest. Maybe 2017? 2018? 2016? I’m not positive, I could look but I didn’t look before this so.. whoops. From several years ago and these videos are of me doing aerial silks, they’re 3 different videos of me doing ankle hangs. So me just like hanging by my ankles in silks, so that was really fun, I love being upside down. Silks are the best, I love them, they’re so much fun. I miss going to the studio, I haven’t been in quite a while. Probably over a year now because with my budget I was either going to continue doing aerial silks or get a van, so you know which one I did. I got a van so I could do my cross country road trip. So yeah I haven’t done silks in a while, except…. now I have silks at home! It’s not the same though because this is.. the way I have it set up now is a hammock and what I super miss is the full on silk pole. They call it a pole, but it’s when the silk is, the two halves of it are coming down all the way to the ground so you have two separate pieces that are connected at the top that just come all the way to the ground. This, it’s one silk but it’s in a loop so it’s a hammock so its different but still super fun. I love hanging upside down! It’s very different from the classic silk setup, which I really miss, but my ceilings aren’t really high and it’s… the rig that I have is portable, I can move it, and it goes up to 11 feet, but it’s kindof an ordeal to move it. I mean, I can, it’s possible, but it definitely takes 2 people and I would LOVE to set it up outside and do some regular classic silk stuff on it and set it up that way. I have the ability to do that, I just haven’t because I don’t want to have it outside and get rained on and I don’t want to have to move it a lot so I’ve just left it inside because it’s always available for me to play on the hammock. I’m hoping maybe once it warms up again in the spring or summer, I’ll set it up outside for a longer amount of time and do some classic silk things. So the videos I’m sharing this week are me doing ankle hangs in silks from when I was going to the studio so it’s a few years ago. My strength is not quite what it used to be. I used to be way stronger because I was doing silks 2 or 3 times a week every week for a couple of years so I was really fuckin strong. I was doing like 6-8 pull ups at a time, I was really strong. I can barely do one pull up now, that’s how I measure my strength is by how many pull ups I can do. I’m not very strong right now, I still have some muscle, but yeah, I miss silks so I hope you enjoy these videos of me playing in silks and doing ankle hangs.
The first look people have a self portrait set that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019, I still have a few of those to share with you. So it’s the self portrait set and the BTS video. This one is in southern Utah. I don’t want to say exactly where it is because, most of the places I’ve been I don’t want to say exactly where it is. I feel like if I publicly am like “these are the places that I took photos” there could be not so good consequences to that. I’m aware of when “influencers” I wouldn’t count myself as an influencer, but, when people have semi large or large followings sharing locations where they shoot then suddenly a lot of people show up at those places and trash them, so I’m going to just tell you broadly… southern Utah. You might recognize this place if you’ve been there though, because of where it is. I’m excited to share this with you.
There’s still time if you’d like to join the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. We have a special guest I’m so excited! that is going to be taking Roarie’s spot when 3 of us talk about Erotic Art before we go into the community discussion so I’m very excited for our special guest! So excited! So yeah if you’d like to come to this event, it’s free and it’s on freeconferencecall, so it’s a group video chat. Usually the events last around 3 hours, we’re going to be talking about erotic art the whole time. We have a slideshow that we’ll share with you that will show images and at the end we have an art share which is probably my favorite part, where people who are participating in the event have the ability to share your art with us and we’ll put it in the slideshow so everyone can see your art and we can talk about it. It’s always amazing and I’m always blown away by the art that people share, it’s really cool. I’d say that’s my favorite part of them usually, is the art share at the end. If you’d like to join it’s absolutely free, I’ll put the link in the caption below. Also if you’d like to submit your erotic art to be shared at the event please do so, I’ll put the link below also. Yeah come join us! It’s on Saturday November 21st and it’ll start at 1pm eastern, so yeah, coming up, I’m so excited, it’s going to be awesome.
LINK TO REGISTER FOR FREE EROTIC ART EVENT
LINK TO SUBMIT YOUR EROTIC ART TO SHARE AT THE EVENT
I love you, thanks for being here, yall make my life. I know that I’ve been very up and down in terms of emotion and what I want to do and motivation, but that’s part of life so I appreciate yall hanging with me and being a part of this. Your support means everything, including me being able to have food on my table. It’s not just the monetary part of it. It’s the love and care that yall share with me, the conversations we have together, the feedback that I get from yall, it’s just wonderful. This squirrel is like.. you know how they flick their tail? It’s just sitting on the fence looking at me flicking it’s tail, it’s like *makes wooshing sounds & moves hand pretending to be a squirrel tail* it’s really cute, okay, um yes. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you next week! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 38 image self portrait photoset of me in Buddy’s blue room in Nashville TN
click here to view the 3 aerial silks videos of me doing ankle hangs (and some photos too!)
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 16 image complete self portrait photoset in Utah (Other Side)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video