first look access
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Day 3 filming for Nudism.TV
Today my whole family (Mama, Daddy, my sister Gemini + I) did a segment on meditation, then Mama, Gemini + I did a segment on energy healing. Daddy did a solo segment about bourbon, + then all 4 of us did a segment of activities + games 😊
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Day 2 filming for Nudism.TV
Today I did a segment about gender + sexuality with my mom. I’m glad she was there to ask some questions and give her perspective. After that segment, I did a quick how-to on self portraiture including a demonstration. 😊
My sister Gemini filmed a segment on floral design for bouquets and a segment on creating flower crowns, with me + mommy there to ask questions. Afterward Gemini and I did a segment on consent + negotiations for a rope bondage session.
It was a full day and lots of fun! Now I’m ready to relaxxxxx and do nothing.
Watch our livestreamed interviews from yesterday on Nudism.TV‘s YouTube channel by clicking here!
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My Queer/Coming Out Story!
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So, recently, I think it was the 10th or 11th it was National Coming Out day, so I thought I would share my queer story with you! So if you’re new here and don’t know much about me, I am queer, I’m trans, I’m agender, I’m ecosexual, I’m, I guess I would also say bisexual… labels don’t quite fit me properly, so I’ve found that queer and ecosexual fit me the best. So usually it’s just easier for me to be like, I’m queer. I’m trans. I’m non-binary. I’m queer. Yeah, so like, I like labels to help people understand me better, but also I find labels to be limiting sometimes because as soon as you put a label on something, then there’s usually a lot of assumptions that come along with that. So yeah, that’s like a short synopsis of my thoughts on labels, but for coming out day, which was recently… this month. Yeah. I want to share my like queer story with you!
If I knew more about queerness, and if I had more queer friends that were out when I was younger, even though I did have some out queer friends when I was in high school. If I had more education before the time that I did, I probably would have come out sooner or like actually realize things about myself sooner, because the hardest part of coming out is coming out to yourself and like realizing that you’re queer in the first place, so I didn’t really realize or come out until I was 29 years old, which was two years ago in 2019.
I could have maybe connected the dots way years before, but I think my being married to a man a cis man for over five years and a relationship with him for over 10 years kind of, I don’t want to say prevented me from realizing my queerness, but I think it I think it encouraged my…. How do I put this? I think it encouraged my not knowing for a while, like it was easy to just be like yeah, I’m straight and I’m a woman because I married the man and I’m happy in this relationship. If you’re new here, also, I’m divorced. Officially divorced in 2020. We’re still friends. But it took really, it took me being on my cross country road trip by myself in 2019 to really have the time and space to be with myself and really start to understand myself on a deeper level before I realized that I was queer. Looking back… looking back there were a lot of signs that I was queer way before then.
I just didn’t put it together and I was like, I’m a tomboy. So before I realized I was queer, I always wanted a penis. Ideally a retractable one so it was there when I wanted, but I would like disappear when I didn’t want it. Still dreaming! Still hoping maybe one day I’ll have it. Yeah, even as a kid, I would like pretend I had a penis. And like put spoons in my pants to like make them poke out so it seemed like I had a penis. My sister reminded me of this because I totally had forgotten. I always really loved shopping in the boys section of stores. I definitely had, queer friends. I was a very opinionated and loud ally to queer people for like forever. I had a Love Is Love shirt in like high school that I made myself. So, I mean there were signs and of course like everyone’s… everyone’s life is different. So maybe you have done the same things and you’re like straight and cis, and that’s totally cool too, like everyone is different. Only you can know if you’re queer or not, but for me, those were signs.
So, okay, in March of 2019, we had, me and my now ex-husband had the, let’s get a divorce conversation and he moved out of state in May, mid-May of 2019, and at the end of May of 2019 I started my two month solo cross country road trip and then mid-August after I came home it was like maybe a week after I got home. No mosquito not here for you. I at that point, my hair was to my elbows and I was fucking sick of it. For my whole life I had long or long ish hair, and I kind of overly identified with it. But by the time, like I was living in a van and being in the desert mostly for two months.
Squirrel! Did you see? I just got fucking sick of my hair. So I came home and I asked my mom to shave my head. And she didn’t really want to because she was scared that I wouldn’t like it, but she did it anyway because I wanted it and I asked her to and she was like, okay, who am I to say that you can’t have a shaved head? And so she shaved it for me. There’s a video of that whole… the whole thing. The whole experience of me getting my head shaved for the first time ever. I have that video, I’ll have to find it and link it for y’all, but there’s a whole video, it’s like 20 minutes long. I have a short version too that’s like two minutes, but it’s really special. That was like, I’m very big moment in my queer awakening. So my mom shaved my head here in the backyard. We were naked and it was wonderful. And at the end, I was like, oh shit. I look like a little boy. And I was super happy.
(CLICK HERE FOR THE 20 MINUTE HAIRCUT VIDEO)
(CLICK HERE FOR THE 2 MINUTE SHORT VERSION OF THE HAIRCUT VIDEO)
And then within like, a couple of days of that, I was walking at the park with my sister and I like confessed to her my gender feelings and she totally affirmed that for me and reminded me of some of the signs of my queerness when I was a kid that I didn’t even remember, and she’s like, yeah that I mean, it totally makes sense that you’re not binary because like you kind of have always been like that and she’s like, of course. So that was really amazing and I’m so thankful for her for being immediately supportive of me. So that evening, I texted a bunch of my family, like, hey, I realized I’m non binary. Can you please use they/them pronouns for me? And after that, I came out on social media and Yeah, been like that ever since. Yeah, so that’s the shortish version of my Queer Journey.
Yeah. I’m just happy thinking about it because I feel so much more myself and I have the vocabulary and the knowledge to be able to be like, okay, I know myself better than I ever did at this point and that feels really good. My parents are really wonderful. My mom, like she came up with this word that I love because she was like, if I can’t call you my daughter anymore, how do I… How do I introduce you to friends and stuff? Like, I don’t want to say my child because you’re an adult. She like what? How do I describe you? I was like, I donno, you’re heir? Child of your womb? Your adult child? I don’t know. And she came up with the word sproutling, which I love and my sister also likes it too. So we’re just, we’re their Sproutlings. So, that makes me super happy. Like even if there isn’t a word for what you’re trying to say, you can make one up!
So if you’re in the closet or if you’re out of the closet, or if you’re questioning your gender or your sexuality or your identity in any way, I’m proud of you and I hope that you do it in your own time. There’s no rush and you can always change. People change their labels all the time. Like we’re not static, like human beings are always changing and we’re always growing and learning and to expect someone to always be the same is to not fully know them. And it’s to not like hold them in their complexity and their wholeness. So yeah, you are worthy, whether you have a label for yourself or not. You are amazing and wonderful and you are loved. Okay. Thank you for being here. I just want to share that story with you. I know some of you who’ve been here for a while, probably have already heard it, but I figured I’d share because National Coming Out day was recently and it was fitting. I love you!
Photos my sister Gemini took during the life changing haircut:
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Why Self Portraits Are Important To Me
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I thought that since I have the self portrait workshop coming up at The Light Factory on October 23rd here in Charlotte, in person. So this will be my first in-person Workshop in a few years, I’m very excited! But since I have that coming up, I wanted to talk about self portraits and why I take them and why they’re important to me.
So to give you a little back story, if you’re new. Wow, these mosquitoes are coming after me right now. If you’re new here, I’ve been taking self-portraits since 2010, maybe a little bit before. Actually, definitely before since I got a camera when I was 16, so that was in what? 2006? 2007? 2006… 2006. So even though I was probably taking naked self portraits before I was 18 that I will not share because I was underage and that’s really creepy for other people to see.
Self portraits have been really important to me. At first, when I was younger, when I first started taking photos at first, it was just, I was the easiest subject to find for my photos. I didn’t have to have another person with me to take photos of them. I could just take photos of me to practice and learn my camera. But as time went on, I learned that I somehow felt more connected to myself when I took self portraits. I feel like I could learn more about myself and experience my emotions in a deeper way through self portraiture.
And I think that’s because a lot of times when I’m feeling something and experiencing something I don’t have a mirror or camera in front of me, so it’s all kind of abstract like in my head and in my mind and in my body with like the way that I was feeling… but once I started taking self-portraits, the way that I felt became something that I could see and seeing it helped me experience it more.
I don’t know if you have heard of aphantasia, but I have aphantasia, which is where you don’t have a Mind’s Eye. So I can imagine things, but I can’t see anything when I’m thinking about it. Like I can’t see anything in my head, I can’t visualize. I can like, remember what things are like, because I’ve seen them before and I like, remember it, but I don’t actually see anything in my head. I can’t like, oh, I’m going to imagine a unicorn with rainbow hair and sparkles and it’s going to be prancing across on a rainbow.
Like, I can think about those things, but I can’t see them in my head. And it took me a while to realize that that’s not a normal thing… or well, okay, maybe I don’t want to say that. It took me a while to realize that people could actually see things in their head and I couldn’t. Self portraiture, since I don’t visualize self portraiture helps me actually like make the things that I think about or the ways that I feel more tangible and more real, because I can see them because a lot of times things don’t quite feel real if I’m just thinking about them. But once it’s something that’s visible and tangible than it becomes a lot more real to me.
And I, I got into a much deeper relationship with myself through self portraiture when I was on my cross country road trip in 2019. I was going through a lot like, personally, emotionally, romantically. Yeah, mentally, like life things were pretty wild. That was during my Saturn return. If you’re into astrology, at all, you know that a Saturn Return usually like turns your life upside down, or it can.. and it definitely turned mine upside down. So, I was processing a lot of feelings and a lot of like, Unknown. And I was able to process in a much deeper way because I took so many self portraits on that road trip.
And I learned so much about myself. I mean, if you’ve been around since then, you know that I realized I was non binary like right after I came home from that trip. It really helped me get to know myself and understand myself on a deeper level, through actually being in my body and allowing myself to feel all my feelings while I was taking self portraits and then looking through them later, realizing oh wow, I’m a real person, I have real feelings, and I can see that, and I can like experience that all over again when I look at the photos. So self portraits mean a lot to me. They have allowed me to connect to myself in a deeper way than I ever have been able to before.
And I took a bunch of self-portraits either at the end of 2020 or early 2021 that I haven’t gone through yet, that I’ve talked about already, that I have a members only like webinar hangout thing where we’re gonna go through them together. I’ve already scheduled it, you’ll get a post about it when it’s coming up, I have like notifications that I’ll come onto the website to remind you like hey, this is happening soon! So that’ll be in like mid-November (the 18th at 6pm EST!).
But those self portraits took that we’ll be looking through are really emotional and really personal to me and I’m feeling emotional thinking about them. Yeah, I really let myself feel all of my feelings when I was taking those photos and it was kind of scary and it was definitely vulnerable and I’m kind of nervous to share them with you, especially in their raw form where I haven’t done anything to them and can see all of them. But I’m also kind of excited, because I don’t really want to hide myself from y’all, like you’re supporting me so much by being here, so the least I can do is not hide myself from you.
So, I hope you join me in November (the 18th at 6pm EST!) when we go through those photos together because it’s going to be scary, but it’s gonna be awesome! They’re pretty dark, and I definitely cried when I was taking them, and yeah, it’s gonna be a lot but it’s going to be great.
To give you a little tiny bit more information about them before I end this video. I took them in my sister’s house after she moved out, and it was empty, before she sold it. And that’s where I was living when a lot of not-so-great things happened to me, and I had some not so great experiences there, so it was like my Releasing that house and the feelings that I felt in that house through feeling my feelings and taking self portraits in the house once it was empty. So it was a great release for me. And yeah, I’m laughing because I’m like trying to hold back tears.
Yeah, so I feel like self portraits are really important for me personally, in order to more fully embody how I feel and to more fully experience my life through creating them. So I hope you have enjoyed this video of me being kind of emotional and talking about self portraits. Yeah.
I think that’s all I have to say right now. I really appreciate that you’re here. It means the world to me. I couldn’t do any of this without you, so I appreciate you and I hope you enjoy what I share. I love you!
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Thoughts on Creativity + Inspiration
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends, I don’t have any very big news or anything to tell you this week, so I just thought I would talk about creativity and inspiration. I know that the poll that I’ve put on here a couple of times, like the survey thing, a lot of you have answered, the most common answer has been in terms of what you’re interested in seeing from me is creativity and inspiration and art, photography + self-portraiture. That kind of thing, so, I just wanted to talk about what creativity means to me and how I find inspiration, if you’re interested.
So for me, creativity is something that all humans have inside of them. I also would argue that most living beings like, human and non-human can be creative. There’s a bug. I think this is a kind of ladybug, maybe like the larva or whatever… maybe, let’s see if it’ll like I don’t want to get too distracted, put it on the leaf. Okay, so I believe that humans and non-humans have the capacity to be creative.
I know, it’s probably easy for you to imagine humans being creative so my argument for non-humans being creative is… have you ever seen a spider web? Have you ever seen a plant that has grown around things that maybe it shouldn’t even be able to grow in that place at all? Have you ever seen a bird’s nest? Have you ever seen a flower? I feel like maybe creativity is our ability to, build and create things. Whether they’re useful to us, or not, whether it’s for a purpose, or just because we felt like it.
I feel like, we are all so capable of creating a number, you know, any number of wonderful things. Maybe it’s capitalism and white supremacy and colonialism and imperialism and patriarchy and all of those things that has like, infiltrated some of our minds and hearts and made us feel like we’re not creative or we’re not worthy of creating something or we don’t have time to create something or what we create isn’t good enough. And I’m here to say that that’s a lot of fucking bullshit! Like life has existed for… I don’t even fucking know how long. Thousands, ten thousands, millions of years. Like the first single-celled organisms that ever existed when there wasn’t even land here is was just like all water. Their like breath their breathing, their like, their ability to sustain themselves, like stay alive, is why there’s so much oxygen in the atmosphere right now, the reason that we are able to be alive, like It’s kind of mind-blowing.
When you really think about everything that it took for us to be here in the first place. Like a whole lot of things had to happen first, a lot, like a fuck ton, like millions of years of things had to happen in order for us to be here right now. And if that isn’t creative, then I don’t know what is. I feel like life, like the existence of life itself is creative. So if you ever feel like you’re not creative or you can’t create something or what you create isn’t good enough, please watch this video and let me tell you that you are creative.
Your work is good enough. What you create is important, whether you share it with other people or not. That part doesn’t matter. Social media makes us think that we have to share everything with everybody, but social media hasn’t been around for that long and artists have been around since…. forever. People were drawing on cave walls before we were even like living in houses. We are creative. We are alive. Therefore we are creative. So, I hope you remember that.
And I also wanted to talk about inspiration, so if that little talk isn’t enough for inspiration for you, I invite you to go outside and just sit under a tree somewhere, and listen and see what you notice… either inside of yourself or outside of yourself. Whatever is available to you. Use all of your senses. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you smell, you taste, what can you touch?
And how do those things move you? How do you feel when you experience those things? What do those things make you want to share with other people, or what do those things make you want to remember in yourself for yourself?
I feel like inspiration can be anywhere. It can be the physical world around us. It can be our emotions and the things that are inside of us. It can be an experience that we have with a friend. It can be an experience that we have with a non-human friend.
Yeah, I really feel like creativity is everywhere, so inspiration is also everywhere, and honestly, I don’t always have inspiration when I create. Sometimes it comes as I’m creating, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes it’s the act of like, getting my camera out, setting stuff up, figuring out. You know, where do I even want to point the camera? What I want to take a picture of? Do I want to be in the picture? If I do, how do I want to feel or look, or pose, or what things do I want to have around me when I’m in the picture? Sometimes, like the act of starting to create brings the inspiration to me or the inspiration maybe reveals itself to me as I’m in the process.
So you don’t necessarily have to have an inspiration before you start. I don’t think, my opinion. I’ve been doing this for over… over 11 years. Yeah, there doesn’t always have to be purpose. It can be just because you are bored and want to do something that’s not staring at a screen and like mindlessly scrolling, which is sometimes why I take photos. Maybe you just want to allow yourself to feel and sometimes the only way to do that is to be in front of a camera, and capture it… that’s definitely something that I experience. Sometimes you want to remember how you felt or how you looked for who you were with, and those are wonderful reasons to create.
Yeah, I hope if you have felt like you are not creative or like you don’t have inspiration, I hope this video helped, even though it’s very vague. But also like kind of specific at the same time. Yeah, that’s just, that’s how I feel about creativity and inspiration. I feel like they’re always around us all the time and we are able to tap into them simply by our existence, so I hope this helped you. I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you soon.
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Code to get into the virtual nude gathering for FREE
The virtual nude gathering is Saturday October 9th at 1pm eastern! (THIS IS THE LAST ONE OF 2021!)
Let’s hang out naked together in a non sexual context!
You’ve probably already seen my post with more info about the gathering from this morning.
If you’ve already applied for the nude gathering ticket + have been approved, you’ll be receiving an email with info on how to register.
USE CODE ‘BLMBR’ DURING REGISTRATION TO GET IN FREE
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Online events + tattoo update!
Click here to watch video in another window
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So I have some updates for you and I’m going to try to not make it too long because I have a tendency to make these videos kind of long when I don’t really mean to. So, here we go.
I have decided that the virtual nude gatherings… the one that’s coming up on October 9th, which is the next one that is scheduled, will be the last one for this year. I have been facilitating online events, between 1 and 3 every month for more than a year and a half now, and I am starting to feel burnt out on them. So in order to make sure that I am providing a good experience, I don’t want to do something that I feel burnt out on. So I’m doing this one in October and that will be the last one for this year.
I probably will continue doing these virtual nude gatherings in the future, I just don’t have them on the schedule. I’m not sure when I will start the backup again. I have super enjoyed doing them and I’m really looking forward to hanging out with y’all naked one more time before I take a break, but I very much need a break.
I am finding myself avoiding being on the computer a lot and like really having no motivation to do computer things, which is telling me that I need a break, so that’s something new. So if you haven’t come to a nude gathering yet, and you really wanted to, you have one more chance, which will be Saturday, October 9th at 1 p.m. Eastern time. So it’s like, North Carolina/New York City time, East Coast time. And that’s gonna be the last one for this year. I don’t know when I’m gonna do them again. It’s been super fun, but I need a break very badly.
I just got more tattoo done day before yesterday. So I’m in process of healing that. What’s new? And I do want to do a members-only event, maybe in November, when I know I just said that I’m getting burnt out on online events, but this is something that I haven’t done before and I’m kind of curious to see how it will go.
I mentioned the last Vlog that I did that I was thinking about doing an event online where you like, went through photos with me and helped me pick out favorites. So that sounds fun, and I will like, kind of do two things at once. Y’all get hang out and I get to hang out with you, and I finally get to go through these pictures that I’ve been avoiding because there’s a lot of them, so we get to do it together and I’ll be like, encouragement for me to do it, and also, y’all get like the first look at things that I haven’t shared with anybody yet. So, I’m excited for that. Right now I’m looking at Thursday, November 18th, maybe in the eventing like 6 p.m. Eastern just, you know, because I know a lot of people still work 9-5s during the week. So let me know if that works for you. Hopefully it does. I can’t really find any other days that would work well for my schedule.
So I’m excited for that. Let’s do that. I know I just said I’m not doing online events, but I really like I don’t know how else to do these kinds of things and I do still want to have times where we can hang out together. For this one, I think it’s going to be more like a webinar. So what that means is instead of it being like a meeting where we’re all having video and talking on the screen at one time. It’s going to be more like, I will be the one talking and being on the screen and y’all can communicate through the chat. That’s less overwhelming for me. And I feel like we’ll be able to actually get through more of the photos together if it’s that way, so that’s what I’m considering, so we can still communicate and hang out, it just will not be like face-to-face will be more like… Me with the screen on with all the photos and y’all like type in the chat to et me know how you like them. If that sounds good, let me know if it sounds not good, let me know. I would really love your feedback. I am just trying to do things in a way that is sustainable for me and doing a monthly face-to-face big group things is not sustainable for me right now, on the computer.
I really would love to start doing things in person again, I’m not sure if I’m ready for that and especially with it starting to get cold. Like, it’s not really that cold yet, but in the coming months its going to start getting colder. In person is not really available because I’d much rather do it outside because of covid. So maybe I can consider something outside in the spring in person.
I still have a dream of doing like an artist retreat where I get like this big airbnb and we all come together and like hang out in the same space for like a long weekend and create art together and hang out and eat yummy food and have cuddle piles and just like hang out naked and have a lot of fun. So that’s definitely on my goals list for the future. I don’t know when, again… Yeah, I have a lot of things like rolling around in my head and I’m just trying to figure out a way that I can still be present with y’all that is sustainable for me. Because I’m feeling myself getting more and more burnt out by being on the computer and being online and being on social media and doing all things.
It just makes me want to avoid all of it all together. And I really don’t want to do that because I don’t want to just like abandon y’all because y’all are literally the reason that I’m able to do any of this in the first place, so I want to put y’all as the priority because you are the priority for me. I would much rather do stuff for y’all them like social media. Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now.
If yall have anything that you are curious about or have suggestions or feedback or requests for I would love to hear it. Yeah, I don’t want to make this too long. It’s already 7 minutes long. So I think I’m gonna pause for now. Yeah. I love you so much. I’m really trying to shift things in a way that works for me and is still something that y’all would enjoy and I’m kind of at the moment struggling to find what that is because computers are draining. And I just want to be like roaming around in the woods, so finding a happy medium is the hard part, but uh… oh.
I’m going to show you my new tattoo. It’s well, the colored in part of my tattoo. The video is going to move, just to give you a heads-up, I’m gonna pick my phone up, so I can show you my leg. And so if you’re like, get really dizzy or something by movement of the video, this is your warning.
So, you know, I have my whole leg, well, most of my body… we just finished. Oh gosh – can I see? We just finished the hawk. I still have a saniderm on it. We did this, leave these leaves, these leaves and these flowers and leaves are all new and fresh. Now I I have one of my birds is colored in. Yay. I have a hawk. So yeah the saniderm is going to be on for a few more days and then it will be mostly healed and then I get to like wash it twice a day and put a bunch of lotion on it for a while. But yeah, I’ve been icing it so my leg’s kind of cold. Yay.
Putting this down on my computer I pressed something and now my computer’s like, what did you do? Okay, so this is long enough. I just want to give you like an update on what’s going on. Yeah. I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Yeah, I’m gonna…
I’m going to just go ahead and schedule this members only let’s go through photos together. I’ll make a post about it. You don’t have to sign up on Eventbrite. What I’m going to do is *burp* Excuse me. What I’m going to do is, make the zoom link and put it in the blog post so that you have it. And I’ll repost it for like maybe the week before and then like the day before and the day of the event. So you have a heads up. Okay. I love you! Thank you! *MWAH*
November first look at self portraits webinar info for members only:
Thursday Nov 18, 2021 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
Webinar style, so it’ll be me screen sharing the photos + y’all can use the chat to let me know your thoughts!
I have several photosets to go through so we’ll start with one + see how far we can get in an hour.
Passcode: 534771
Have questions? Comment below or email me at bunnyluna@pm.me ❤
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Ecosexual Time Capsule ❤ self portrait edition part 2
I have so many self portraits from my cross country road trip that I felt like I needed to make a whole post just for some of my faves from that trip ❤ Massive photo post!!
2019 in Colorado
2019 in Utah
2019 in Nevada
In this last image someone was driving up + I looked at the camera right before I scrambled to grab my stuff…
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Personal update: residencies + nerve injuries
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I don’t know why I didn’t sit very comfortably… actually. I do know why I didn’t sit very comfortably, because things are wet, but I wanted to be outside, so I’ll be sitting weirdly to try to not get too wet. I have some I guess news to share. It’s not really news? I have been working on an application for a residency in Virginia that would be a month in the spring. I want it so muuuuuch! So I’ve been working on it a lot this last week and I’m close to being finished with it. I’m getting some more feedback from people that I value their opinions. So taking that into consideration. I have some more edits to do but I’m really excited and I’m pretty happy with it so far. And I really, really, really, really, really, really hope that I get this residency. It would be perfect. It’s an hour from Shenandoah, so you know I would be spending a lot of time there! Yeah, so I really hope I get it! I’m really excited, working really hard on it, so hopefully that will happen.
(CLICK HERE TO SEE THE IMAGES IM SUBMITTING)
Another new thing. I had a routine STI test because you know, safe sex is hot! And the third time in my life I have a nerve injury. Yay… That’s a very sarcastic yay if you couldn’t tell. Wow, there’s a lot of mosquitoes! I’m not gonna be out here for too long. Okay, so I got my blood drawn in the usual place, you know the crook of your arm, and as soon as the needle went in I knew they nicked a nerve because I felt it like electricity down my hand, down my arm and into my hand. So it’s like the section here and then into the bottom of my thumb, is randomly has lightning strikes in it of pain and little random places of tingly and numbness.
I’m apparently prone to getting nerve injuries. If you were here in 2016, you knew about the wrist drop that I had for three months where I like, couldn’t lift my wrist like this. I couldn’t make a thumbs up and I couldn’t open, I couldn’t expand my fingers all the way. It was on my right hand, which is my dominant hand. I might link to it, if you want to see it. It’s been a really long time, but for three months, I didn’t have use of my right hand. I mean, obviously, I do now, but it was pretty scary. Nerve injuries are not fun.
(CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO OF ME WITH WRIST DROP MAY 2016)
But in 2019, the same thing happened with the blood draw. I had a blood draw and it was the same thing and I still have a little numb spot right here, from that in 2019. Luckily I don’t have the pain anymore, that part of the nerve has healed, but I still never regained the feeling in this little spot right here. So hopefully this feels and goes away quickly. It’s not fun, nerve injuries are weird.
I’m like surrounded by mosquitoes right now! Holy moly. Okay. Try to move to make them not land on me. Please don’t, I don’t want you sucking my blood! Yeah. So those are the main new things happening in my life. I’m going camping next week, I’m really excited! I get to see my friend and then I have a whole lot going on in October.
Yeah, I still have a whole bunch of self portraits that I took last year I think, or also some this year, but I have a whole bunch of self portraits that I’ve taken more recently that I haven’t had the energy to go through them because there’s so many and it’s kind of overwhelming and I want to, like, pare them down to my favorites, but I’m just overwhelmed by how many there are so I haven’t really looked at them, but I do have them and I need to look through them. It’s just very daunting to me right now at this point. Mosquitoes, goodness! I will have more self portraits for you at some point soon hopefully, I just need to take the time to look through them.
Actually, you know what might be fun? Maybe we can do a thing where you look through them with me and it’s like a co-working thing, except you just tell me which photos are your favorites. Maybe we will do that at some point. I need to like, find the time schedule that because that might actually be really fun. And y’all might like that. I don’t know, but it will definitely help me look through those photos if I had some friend accountability to do it. It’s just so… I it’s like overwhelming because there’s too many to look at and I feel like I need to do it all in one sitting. Maybe that’s my problem is I feel like I need to do it all in one sitting, why do I feel that way?
(I HAVE A SURVEY BELOW WHERE YOU CAN SHARE FEEDBACK!)
Oh my gosh mosquitoes, oh a squirrel! Okay, I’m getting it distracted now. I’ve talked about the important things. It’s already been 5 minutes. Okay. I just want to say y’all are amazing. I am thinking about you all the time. I am stressed out by computer work things, which is why I haven’t been posting that much recently. I think about you all the time and I want to figure out a way to be more consistent and like, actually share things on here that is sustainable for me. Because being on the computer for hours a day is not my favorite thing. It stresses me out a lot and it’s not enjoyable. So I need to figure out how to do things in a way that I’m still able to share with you, but it doesn’t require as much time on the computer.
So, if you have any ideas, I’m definitely open to that because I really want to share more with you and spend more time with you. Maybe I maybe instead of having Vlogs, we can just hang out live because that to me doesn’t take as much energy. That’s more fun than just like sitting at a desk. Okay, Yeah. Into feedback! I love you all so much! Thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you soon!
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Ecosexual Time Capsule ❤ self portrait edition
2016 in North Carolina, some of the first photos I took for my site back in the day
2017 in Tampa Florida, the back yard of my airbnb, I was in Florida to take maternity photos for a friend
2018 in North Carolina, during my first ever solo road trip! All I did was hike + take self portraits
