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Red Studio Couch
*CONTENT WARNING*: I am walking around outside during the first part of the video. If this is disorienting for you, skip to 1:07.
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Ooh the ground is kinda wet. I wanted to lay down in these beautiful red maple leaves, but the ground is wet and cold so maybe I won’t. But here I will squat so you can see. Yeah it’s just a whole… let me walk over here. Just a big circle where all the leaves have fallen, it’s so pretty. Oh my gosh my toes are frozen though I’m going inside it’s too cold. I wanted to share what I am sharing this week and I will do that as soon as my feet are not numb anymore. It’s cold! I thought it wasn’t going to be too cold but it’s totally too cold. *aagh cold noises*
This week I have a self portrait set that I took… maybe 2016, 2017, 2018, not really sure what year. A self portrait set that I took a couple years ago, not in 2019 it was before that so probably 2017, 2018? that I took in my friend’s studio on this cool red couch that they had in there. I’m sharing BTS video from that same studio but a different time. The BTS that I’m sharing are BTS that I took when I was assisting my photographer friend Terry Wyse with his photoshoot with Roarie Yum! So it’s BTS of Terry shooting Roarie, and I think that was 2019.
First Look people are getting… what am I sharing with First Look? Oh the photos that I took with Lior Allay when we were in Pittsburgh in the fall of 2019 and BTS from that and other video things. Yeah so that’s what I’m sharing this week.
What do I have to talk about other than that? Other than my feet finally warming up? Tomorrow, which is Friday, so by the time you see this it will already have happened, but tomorrow I’m getting more of my tattoo done. The one on my leg with the Poplar tree, I’m very excited. So I’ll probably be tired and not as much up for physical things for a while after that because tattoos wear me out, especially because I tend to do several hours at a time. Yeah I’m really excited because I’m ready to be covered with plants.
Uhm yeah I don’t have much else to say at the moment, nothing much new is going on. I’m obviously back home for a couple weeks and then I’m going back to Granny’s for a couple weeks. Er, for a week IN a couple weeks, to continue helping her out. Yeah that’s kindof all that’s new with me right now. Love you, thank you for being here. <3
PS- I looked it up and these self portraits were taken in 2017.
All members:
click here to view the 25 image self portrait photoset I took on a red couch in my friend’s studio
click here to view the 9 BTS videos & 15 BTS photos in that same studio but years later when I was assisting Terry Wyse while he was photographing Roarie Yum
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 32 image photoset of me & Lior Allay when we traveled to Pittsburgh together in 2019
click here to view 12 BTS videos -
V and her family
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! This week… I guess I’ll tell you what I’m sharing first and then I’ll tell you what’s currently going on for me in my life. This week I’m sharing a photoset (sorry my phone is being funky) that I took of my friend V and her partner and their oldest baby. This was probably I think last year, 2019? Maybe late 2018? I didn’t look at the dates but it wasn’t this year because I’ve not really shot anything this year. Well I have shot like 2 things but it’s not enough for me to say that I’ve made much this year. These photos were taken at V & her partner’s house, and it was so cute because they were just doing like… you know, they were being a family and I was just there to capture some of that and it was wonderful and adorable and also funny and their baby I think he was maybe around a year and she was pregnant with her second baby, well her second baby with this partner. She has an older child that wasn’t there. Yeah so it’s the little family with another little one on the way. It was just fun photos, we didn’t really go into it with any really specific plans, we just wanted to capture their family. Her partner doesn’t model very much but it was really wonderful and adorable to just be with them as a family and just take photos, it was fun.
The video I’m sharing this week is a video I took I think it was last year in the summer, I think it was between the time I went on my road trip and chopped all my hair off, I think. It’s me just doing, nude, doing yoga and intuitive movements, dancing kindof, so it’s just like a nude movement video, which is great.
First look people have… I’m going to share a MASSIVE amount of stuff with first look this week. It’s ALL of the photos from Joshua Tree in summer 2019 when I was on my road trip. Er… all the REST of the photos. I think I’ve already shared all of the other JT photos with me and June St Paul when we shot each other. This is… there are 3 photographers, Moss Von Faustenberg, Ellin Aldana, and Lady River. They all 3 came and we hung out and traipsed around this airbnb that you’ve already seen in the other JT stuff. Airbnb compound basically, it’s a whole bunch of different little airbnbs in this main space. MASSIVE massive. I think just the photos that I’m sharing from Moss are several hundred photos, and that’s just the photos from him, so…. plus the photos from both other photographers and BTS videos. It’s like.. a fuck ton of stuff. Like, a whole lot. A lot a lot. So that’s massive, first look go enjoy those it’s gonna be a whole lot. You’ll have a lot of time to look through it because there’s so much.
I don’t know if you can hear the dogs…. I’m currently in Virginia at my grandmother’s house. This is her giant oak tree that’s in her back yard. Of course that’s where I wanted to be to make this video. It’s quite large. So I didn’t have any plans to travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas because of covid, but my grandmother, I call her Granny so I’m going to call her Granny here because that’s who she is, she’s Granny. Granny got into a car accident on 11/5 and was in the hospital for over a week and is back home now, where I am currently at her house. She’s 89, she before the accident was living by herself and doing her own thing, going to exercise class and getting her hair done, you know, taking care of herself. Since the accident she’s broken several bones, er, she broke several bones during the accident and she’s still recovering and she can’t do all the things that she used to do right now so she needs a lot of help and my 2 aunts and me, we’re all taking turns helping her around the house. She can get around with a walker but she needs a little supervision standing up and getting down and she has a few cracked vertebra in her neck so she has to wear this collar/neck brace thing which is keeping her from sleeping very well because she has to wear it 24/7, so someone has to stay with her through the night because she usually wakes up every hour or two or three. So we have to… she wakes up and wants to get out of bed, half the time she has to pee so we have to help her get to the bathroom. But yeah she needs extra help now so… I didn’t have any plans for traveling during the holidays but I’m here helping out because she needs some help, and I work on my computer so I can work from her house or my house, so I might as well be here to help her out. I did take a covid test right before I came here to make sure that I wasn’t like… having covid and just asymptomatic so I made sure that I was really safe before I came. Got a negative result obviously since I’m here. Just wanted yall to know that I’m not being.. you know… not careful. I’m definitely being careful.
I am thankful that yall are the reason that I am able to work remotely from my computer and yall are the reason that I’m able to help take care of my Granny. If I had a regular 9-5 job I wouldn’t be able to be here to help out. It’s kinda hard since she basically needs attention 24/7 ish. She’s doing really well but she needs help with certain things so you basically have to be here with her the whole time because if she needs to get up you gotta help her out. It’s a 24/7 type of thing and one of my aunts has been here for a few weeks and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep as you can imagine. The other aunt has been working but she’s a teacher so she’s on her break for school so she’s able to help out more too. The aunt who has been here just left earlier today and is going to be at her house and resting and taking care of her house things and then coming back before I leave. So there’s going to be 2 people here with Granny for the foreseeable future. I’m here this week and then I’m going back home for my birthday and then I’m getting more of my tattoo done early December and then mid-December I’m coming back.
Yeah.. because of yall I’m able to be here and help Granny. That means SO MUCH to me, yall have no idea. I just wanted to say thank you because it means a whole lot that yall are here supporting me and that I can work remotely and help out my Granny and still be able to work because I just need a computer and internet access. So yeah yall are the reason I’m able to do that and I thank you so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. It’s cold but I’m outside because I wanted to be with the oak tree. I remember there used to be a swing that hung from this branch.. that one…. this one. There used to be a swing that hung from that branch and I would swing when I was a kid out here. There used to be a sandbox over here that I would play with my sister. That is their neighbor’s house, that’s my aunt’s house, and then Granny’s house is that way… like… there. So my one aunt is super close, my other aunt lives in Blacksburg which is a couple hours from where my Granny is. But yeah, anyway. Thank you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here.
CAPTION FOR 2ND VIDEO:
My last video was interrupted by neighbor dog Jay Jay who likes to bark a lot at me. So I’m probably going to cut that out and put this in there so if it’s cut off funky that’s why. It’s kinda startling to have a dog suddenly be barking at you. I’ll see what the video looks like, it might be funny, so I might keep it, but if it’s too startling I might cut out the part where dog’s barking at me. He’s harmless, he’s just very protective and loud. He’s the next door neighbor’s dog…. that’s Jay Jay. That’s all I have to say, I just wanted to do this little video to let you know why the other one was cut off funny. Yes, okay. I love you. Thank you. I’m so thankful that I can be here, so thank you. It’s because of you.
PS- MY 31ST BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 30TH!
31% OFF EVERYTHING* IN MY SHOP INCLUDING SALE ITEMS
USE CODE ’31BDAY’ TO GET THE DISCOUNT
SALE ENDS DECEMBER 1ST <3
*The only item excluded from the sale is the pay what you can membership since it’s already discounted. =]
All members:
click here to view the 32 image photoset of V & her family
click here to view the 4.5+ minute video of me doing intuitive movements & yoga from 2019
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 332 image photoset of me taken by Moss Von Faustenberg in Joshua Tree during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 119 image photoset of me taken by Ellin Aldana in JT
click here to view the 33 image photoset of me taken by Lady River in JT
click here to view 41 minutes of BTS video -
More self portraits from Chicago
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Good morning! This week I’m sharing 2 self portrait sets from Chicago from several years ago, probably 2017… I think? 2016? 2017? I think 2017. Yeah I keep finding these that I forgot that I had so…. enjoy! They’re from 2 different airbnbs, like some of the ones I already shared. One of them is from the first airbnb that I stayed in that had cool furniture. There was this orange chair that I was like “I want to take pictures with this” and the other set is me with plants that were in the other airbnb that I stayed in. So this is from the same trip, from 2 different airbnbs.
The video I’m sharing this week was a random naked outdoor video that I took at the beginning of quarantine, the beginning of all the covid stuff. It was maybe March or April or May… maybe June. I didn’t look at the date that I took it. I randomly was like “I feel like hanging out naked outside” and why not make a video? So that’s what this is, there’s no caption, not really much sound, it’s just me doing my naked thing around the yard, so that one you can enjoy too.
The first look members, I have another self portrait set from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. This photoset is one of the first photosets that I took in Nevada, so we’re actually out of Utah for this one, we’re in Nevada. It was so beautiful, the colors there were so intense and just amazing, so self portrait set and behind the scenes from me in Nevada. I hope you like it. I don’t think it was that set, but it was another set from that same day. I was in Nevada, I was in a park and someone came up while I was shooting and I frantically got dressed. You’ll see it in the video, it’s not in this one, it’s in one that I’ll be sharing soon I think, maybe I shouldn’t tell this story, maybe I’ll save it for when I actually share it.
Anyway, this weekend, today is not this weekend yet when I’m recording this, but when you see this on Saturday morning, you still have a couple hours to sign up for the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie and SPECIAL GUEST Marcus! So excited! So we’re talking about erotic art. I’m very excited, I’m also pretty nervous because it’s going to be a very vulnerable and uncomfortable conversation for me to have, but I’m still looking forward to it because I think there’s going to be a lot of really valuable information that everyone’s going to share and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s perspective and sharing mine (which is vulnerable and scary). If you’d like to join me, it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE, I’ll put the link in the caption below. You can sign up, it’s free, it’ll be at 1pm eastern Saturday the 21st, which is the day that I am releasing this! So you have a couple of hours from me sharing this post til the event happens, so CLICK AND REGISTER ASAP so that you can join us for FREE! Haha I rhymed. Yeah I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be amazing. We have already done (as of the time I’m recording this), we’ve already done 2 of the livestreams on the Going Beyond the Lens instagram account. I will also link that below. If you want to watch the livestreams where we give a sneak preview about what we’re going to be talking about during the event. Go watch those, most of them are around 20 minutes ish long. Today is technically Wednesday, I’m recording this a little early because I have a lot of stuff going on this week. Today is technically Wednesday, and the first 2 lives happened already so you can already go watch those. I mean by the time you watch this, the one on Friday that I’m doing with Roarie will already have also happened… but um yeah I’m excited! Please join! We would love to have you be a part of the conversation. There’s probably not going to be any time left to submit an image, but I hope there have been a lot of people that submitted images to this event so that we can share your work also. So we’re probably going to be promoting the image sharing a lot on the instagrams.
CLICK HERE FOR FREE REGISTRATION TO THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE FOR A LAST MINUTE SUBMISSION OF YOUR EROTIC ART TO BE SHARED AT THE EVENT
Yeah I’m excited. I love you! Thank you for being here! That’s all I have to say today. I just think yall are wonderful and amazing and I’m glad that you’re here on my website and you mean the world to me. Love you, bye!
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset with an orange chair from a trip to Chicago in 2017
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset with plants from that same Chicago trip
click here to view the 6 minute video of me hanging out nude in my back yard during quarantine
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 30 image self portrait photoset in the Nevada desert (Sixth Sister)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Buddy’s Blue Room
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Okay so this week I’m not on my period so I’m more present and not in pain so that’s nice. This week *clears throat* I swear I’ve been awake for several hours. Oooh a squirrel! There’s a fence right outside my window and it’s a normal thing for a squirrel to be scurrying across the top of the fence and I just saw one do that and it’s cute.
This week the photoset I’m sharing with you is a photoset that I took of self portraits in May of 2019 that was taken in a photographer’s house. I went to Nashville TN back in May of 2019, time is weird yall. The photographer hosted me, he had a lot of good references so I felt safe to be hosted there. The room that he had available for me was this blue room with a big really cool painting in it of a big face and there was a real huge mirror in there so I of course took advantage of the cool space and took some self portraits in that room, so that’s the ones I’m sharing with you today. I was going to be shooting with this photographer but he wasn’t feeling well so we ended up not shooting and I just stayed at his house. It’s this cool big old house and he had been renovating rooms a bit at a time. The bathroom was really cool, he had a clawfoot tub and a fancy walk-in tiled shower. I think I took a video of me taking a shower in that shower, and I don’t recall if I’ve share that yet or not. I have so much content it’s hard for me to keep up with what I’ve shared and what I haven’t. I should look and see if I can find that because I know I made that video, of me taking a shower in that cool shower. Yeah I really liked his house it was really cool and it was like, close to a lot of stuff. There’s some fancy restaurants that were basically walking distance, I could have walked to them, but I didn’t know how close they were so I drove and I was like “why didn’t I just walk?” I had a good time staying at his place and I… one of my two favorite colors is blue, my other favorite color is green, and if I had a third favorite color it would be purple. My colors are blue green and purple. I also really like brown but that’s beside the point. So of course this blue room with a big mirror and a cool painting I had to take some self portraits so, here you are!
The videos I’m sharing this week are from several years ago to be honest. Maybe 2017? 2018? 2016? I’m not positive, I could look but I didn’t look before this so.. whoops. From several years ago and these videos are of me doing aerial silks, they’re 3 different videos of me doing ankle hangs. So me just like hanging by my ankles in silks, so that was really fun, I love being upside down. Silks are the best, I love them, they’re so much fun. I miss going to the studio, I haven’t been in quite a while. Probably over a year now because with my budget I was either going to continue doing aerial silks or get a van, so you know which one I did. I got a van so I could do my cross country road trip. So yeah I haven’t done silks in a while, except…. now I have silks at home! It’s not the same though because this is.. the way I have it set up now is a hammock and what I super miss is the full on silk pole. They call it a pole, but it’s when the silk is, the two halves of it are coming down all the way to the ground so you have two separate pieces that are connected at the top that just come all the way to the ground. This, it’s one silk but it’s in a loop so it’s a hammock so its different but still super fun. I love hanging upside down! It’s very different from the classic silk setup, which I really miss, but my ceilings aren’t really high and it’s… the rig that I have is portable, I can move it, and it goes up to 11 feet, but it’s kindof an ordeal to move it. I mean, I can, it’s possible, but it definitely takes 2 people and I would LOVE to set it up outside and do some regular classic silk stuff on it and set it up that way. I have the ability to do that, I just haven’t because I don’t want to have it outside and get rained on and I don’t want to have to move it a lot so I’ve just left it inside because it’s always available for me to play on the hammock. I’m hoping maybe once it warms up again in the spring or summer, I’ll set it up outside for a longer amount of time and do some classic silk things. So the videos I’m sharing this week are me doing ankle hangs in silks from when I was going to the studio so it’s a few years ago. My strength is not quite what it used to be. I used to be way stronger because I was doing silks 2 or 3 times a week every week for a couple of years so I was really fuckin strong. I was doing like 6-8 pull ups at a time, I was really strong. I can barely do one pull up now, that’s how I measure my strength is by how many pull ups I can do. I’m not very strong right now, I still have some muscle, but yeah, I miss silks so I hope you enjoy these videos of me playing in silks and doing ankle hangs.
The first look people have a self portrait set that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019, I still have a few of those to share with you. So it’s the self portrait set and the BTS video. This one is in southern Utah. I don’t want to say exactly where it is because, most of the places I’ve been I don’t want to say exactly where it is. I feel like if I publicly am like “these are the places that I took photos” there could be not so good consequences to that. I’m aware of when “influencers” I wouldn’t count myself as an influencer, but, when people have semi large or large followings sharing locations where they shoot then suddenly a lot of people show up at those places and trash them, so I’m going to just tell you broadly… southern Utah. You might recognize this place if you’ve been there though, because of where it is. I’m excited to share this with you.
There’s still time if you’d like to join the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. We have a special guest I’m so excited! that is going to be taking Roarie’s spot when 3 of us talk about Erotic Art before we go into the community discussion so I’m very excited for our special guest! So excited! So yeah if you’d like to come to this event, it’s free and it’s on freeconferencecall, so it’s a group video chat. Usually the events last around 3 hours, we’re going to be talking about erotic art the whole time. We have a slideshow that we’ll share with you that will show images and at the end we have an art share which is probably my favorite part, where people who are participating in the event have the ability to share your art with us and we’ll put it in the slideshow so everyone can see your art and we can talk about it. It’s always amazing and I’m always blown away by the art that people share, it’s really cool. I’d say that’s my favorite part of them usually, is the art share at the end. If you’d like to join it’s absolutely free, I’ll put the link in the caption below. Also if you’d like to submit your erotic art to be shared at the event please do so, I’ll put the link below also. Yeah come join us! It’s on Saturday November 21st and it’ll start at 1pm eastern, so yeah, coming up, I’m so excited, it’s going to be awesome.
LINK TO REGISTER FOR FREE EROTIC ART EVENT
LINK TO SUBMIT YOUR EROTIC ART TO SHARE AT THE EVENT
I love you, thanks for being here, yall make my life. I know that I’ve been very up and down in terms of emotion and what I want to do and motivation, but that’s part of life so I appreciate yall hanging with me and being a part of this. Your support means everything, including me being able to have food on my table. It’s not just the monetary part of it. It’s the love and care that yall share with me, the conversations we have together, the feedback that I get from yall, it’s just wonderful. This squirrel is like.. you know how they flick their tail? It’s just sitting on the fence looking at me flicking it’s tail, it’s like *makes wooshing sounds & moves hand pretending to be a squirrel tail* it’s really cute, okay, um yes. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you next week! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 38 image self portrait photoset of me in Buddy’s blue room in Nashville TN
click here to view the 3 aerial silks videos of me doing ankle hangs (and some photos too!)
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 16 image complete self portrait photoset in Utah (Other Side)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Chicago in 2017 + Boundaries
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning. It’s not morning here where I am anymore, but it’s probably morning when you’re going to watch this. So good morning, or maybe, I don’t know. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, good day, good life, hello. So this week I’m sharing a really throwback lots of things. The stuff I’m sharing is photos & videos from when I was in Chicago in 2017. I kinda forgot that I had these and I hadn’t shared them yet, so you’re getting some cool throwback things! I think this was the last time I was in Chicago. I used to go every other year to do a family reunion thing with my ex, and naturally I haven’t really been in a while because, well, we’re no longer together. And because coronovirus, and you know, the world is changing forever always. The stuff from the Chicago trip that I’m sharing, it’s been a little bit since I’ve looked at them so I can’t remember if they’re photos from the 1st or the 2nd place that we stayed, because we stayed in 2 different places that last time we were in Chicago because it was my ex partner’s birthday. We stayed at one airbnb for his birthday, then another airbnb for the rest of the trip, just because we could and we wanted to. I think, I usually have all this written down of what I want to share, but I’m pretty sure the photos are from the 2nd airbnb that I’m sharing this time, but I’m not 100%.
So that’s what I’m sharing this week, and for the first look members I have another photoset from Utah from my cross country road trip in summer 2019. I keep wanting to say last summer, but last summer is now the summer of 2020, and it wasn’t last summer, it’s now the summer before. That feels weird because time has already flown by and I feel like I was just on this trip but it’s been over a year which is wild to me.
This month, October, the nude yoga video that I shared will be the last nude yoga video that I share monthly like I was. There’s 3 years of nude yoga videos that you can watch so I don’t think you’ll really miss out on them. Like I said in last week’s blog, I want to shift my time and attention and effort into slightly different things. Not too different, but this is just the beginning of my changes. That’s the last nude yoga video I’ll do for a little while. I mean I might do some more in the future if I feel like it, I just am not going to put pressure on myself to do it every month like I have been. I am still figuring out how I’m going to do my website after I run out of my backlog, which that’s going to be probably another 6 months or longer before I run out of my backlog, so you don’t have anything to worry about soon to be honest. I have a lot of backlog and a lot of stuff yall haven’t seen yet, because for whatever reason I tend to hoard my content, so no worries on that yet. I’ll continue to let you know about the shifts and changes that I go through when the time comes. I am probably going to… I don’t know, I really do want to have my content be less nudity-focused and “hey I’m a naked person” because to me, it’s just my preferred state of being? Like I was helping my mom in the kitchen this morning naked, just cutting veggies and stuff. No big deal. *laughs*
My problem is not with nudity, my problem is when people sexualize me and see nudity as something that’s inherently sexual. To me, depending on what your definition of sex is and what sexual is… just being naked and enjoying being in your own skin could be sexual. For me, as someone who is demisexual, which is on the asexual spectrum, I DO NOT WANT SEXUAL ATTENTION FROM ANYBODY. No. If I do, you will know, because I will tell you. Otherwise, I don’t want sexual attention. Do whatever you want on your own time, but don’t direct it in my direction. Don’t point your sexual feelings in my directions, I don’t want it, it makes me extremely uncomfortable, I don’t want to be sexualized. Do whatever you want while you’re looking at my photos, just don’t tell me about it. What you do on your own time is for you, that’s cool. I’ve just… over the last 10+ years of doing this, I’ve received so much unwanted attention in a sexual way that has always made me extremely uncomfortable. That kind of attention is what I’m trying to get rid of, trying to curb, trying to encourage other things instead. Nudity is not the problem for me, but sometimes when people can’t separate nudity and sexualizing me, that’s when the problem is. So I’m probably lecturing you now, that’s not what I’m trying to do. I want it to be very clear to everyone. Don’t send sexual attention in my direction because I don’t want it, it makes me very uncomfortable. Just don’t. Be my friend, ask me questions, talk to me about my art, all of that. Just don’t tell me I’m beautiful and gorgeous, and don’t tell me the things you’d want to do to me, because I don’t want to hear any of that.
Compliment my ideas, my creativity… compliment things that are not physical and not sexual. For me… other people might have totally different boundaries. My boundary is do not come at me in a sexual way at all. No, I don’t want it. I don’t, at all, I don’t. If I did, you would know, simple as that.
On a lighter note, I am feeling a little bit better recently, just because I’m giving myself space to figure things out and do my own thing. Which… I’ve kinda been doing that for a long time but, life and healing is a spiral. You think you figure something out and then you come back around to it in a different way. I’m just trying to be gentle with myself and learn more about myself and do things in the way that feels good to me, that feels nourishing to me. That’s something I’ve been working on, it’s not always easy. Especially when you learn new things about yourself that are confusing. (I think I got a mosquito bite)
I feel like most of this video is me just telling you don’t sexualize me, so I apologize if you’re someone who’s heard a lot about this already because I’ve talked about it before. It’s a hard boundary for me, and I want it to be clear to everyone. I love sharing nude stuff, just appreciate it for what it is, and don’t come at me with anything like expectations or anything like that. That’s it, enjoy it, that’s what it’s here for. My nude art is here to enjoy on your own time. Tell me what you like about it that’s not sexual or appearance based, and we’re cool. We can talk about composition, the landscape, the place we’re in, the props, all the stuff, pose, whatever. Just… don’t sexualize me. It’s not why I’m here. I’m much more than that. Sex is awesome, it is a part of my life in some capacity, but that’s none of your business. I don’t have that kind of relationship with any of you. Here I go lecturing again and it’s already after 10 minutes so, maybe I’ll just make another video. I don’t know… this is what I’m feeling and it’s what came up. Maybe I’ll just post it anyway, I might make another video, I might not. We’ll see *laughing*.
I love you all so much and it means the world to me that you’re here every week supporting me, watching my stuff, looking at my photos, reading my blogs… I haven’t posted anything to youtube recently but that’s something I want to do more of. If there’s anything you want me to make a youtube video about, let me know! I’m open to requests and suggestions. I do have plans… I’m brainstorming and figuring out how I want to do this video, but my next video that I’ll be sharing on my youtube and instagram will be about energy healing. It’ll be energy healing 101, you know basics. This is what it is, this is how you do it. And then after that I think I’ll do a embodiment and self connection video. I already have a list of like 25 different ways you can connect to yourself… so yeah. Those are my plans for a couple of videos for youtube. I’m open to hearing what you’re curious about and what you’d like to learn from me. Comment below or send me an email or.. whatever. I’d love to hear from you if you have requests.
I just appreciate you for being here, it means a lot. I know sometimes I come on here and ramble like today. *laughs* It means the world that you care at all, and that you care enough to financially support me because literally, yall, here, the members of my website are the reason that I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. That means a lot, and I love you so much, and I’m so excited to continue this journey of life with you. I love you. Thank you, and I’ll talk to you next week. Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 14 image self portrait photoset with plants in Chicago
click here to view the 27 image self portrait photoset in a fancy airbnb bathroom in Chicago
click here to view 20 Instax from Chicago
click here to view 24 videos from my Chicago travels in 2017
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view a 32 image complete self portrait photoset at Fairyland Canyon from my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view 3 minutes of BTS video -
Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
*sigh* Hello friends! I was just outside to make this video but then a bunch of my neighbors decided to have big loud machines so it kinda made more sense to do it in here. This week I have a bunch more self portrait sets and BTS videos from my cross country road trip last summer, well its not even last summer anymore, summer 2019, that I’m sharing with you for both the photo/video/PWYC members and for first look members. First look gets more access to more things, as usual, but I’m excited to share these with you. I really love all the self portraits that I took last…. summer 2019. It’s kinda weird watching them and looking at them because I know it’s me, but it’s a version of me that’s no longer with us, it’s kinda like looking at a ghost in a way. It’s me but it’s not me. It’s me then, it’s not me now. It’s hard to describe. But I have those photos that I’m sharing with you.
I want to talk about the nude yoga video, bc I’m technically sharing what I’d call a nude yoga video with you this month. I’ve been doing nude yoga videos, I think every month since 2017. They’ve increasingly become less like traditional what people would think of as yoga and more of… like energy releasing more than yoga, especially this month. I’ve felt a resistance to “traditional yoga” over the last few months and I’m not exactly sure why. I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I may not do a monthly nude yoga video in the future. I might discontinue those and change it to something else. I would like to focus more on self care and community care and healing and energy healing and energy releasing and energy in general. I think over the last couple of months I’ve stressed more about the nude yoga video like “oh when am I going to make it” and all of that stuff. It’s started to become something that I’m not really enjoying as much anymore so I thought that since there are like… over 30 that you can watch from the past that you might not necessarily miss them in the future if I don’t continue them. So I’m considering discontinuing the nude yoga video and doing something different instead, like energy healing stuff so I’d love to hear your feedback if you have any. That’s something I’ll probably start next month or December or maybe 2021. I haven’t decided yet, but I wanted to give you a heads up that’s something thats going to be changing soon.
I want to focus more of my time creating content that I share for free with everyone. Of course the more extensive content will be for members. I think part of what I have been missing has been having things to share with people that weren’t behind a paywall, and I think that while I’m not a fan of capitalism, I still have to live within it so I do at some point need to be paid for my experience and my art and my time. At the same time, that makes my content less accessible to those who can’t afford it, even though I do have a pay what you can membership, I realize that $5 a month isn’t accessible to EVERYONE. I want to make more content that’s for everyone, and I’m considering a change of… the weekly posts that I make for yall that comes out on Saturdays, that has a handful of the images from the whole set that yall have access to. I’m considering making that blog post accessible to everyone, and, like currently, only members have access to the FULL set and the FULL video. That’s something I’ve been thinking about. I already do have a free post, I think it’s every Tueday. I have them scheduled through the end of the year… I think it’s Tuesdays. I’m feeling like I want to benefit more people and I can do that if I have more stuff that’s free.
I’m also continuously pulling further away from doing nude art. Not because I don’t love it. I definitely extremely very much DO LOVE nude art so much. The attention that it gets me from people is not the attention that I want, so I want to make it more understood by my audience, members and non members/just people that follow me. I want to make it more understood that my nudity is not consent for you to sexualize me. What you do on your own time by yourself that I’m not involved in is up to you, that’s none of my business, but as soon as sexual comments come in my direction… like I’ve been harassed this week through people commenting in another language that I had to translate but it’s still rude as fuck, also very much sexualizing me. That further reminds me how much I am extremely uncomfortable with that and that is violating my consent. I love nude art, but it, based on people’s perception of it, that I have no control over, that brings a certain kind of attention in my direction that I don’t want. I’m going to be backing away some from making nude things and sharing nude things potentially, so that I don’t get the attention that I don’t want, and making things that are “fb & ig safe” in order to share my knowledge and experience with people without getting the kind of attention that I don’t want which is sexualization.
I will forever have a very special place in my heart for nude art and I will probably never fully stop making it or sharing it, but it is not my focus any longer. I am much more than a naked body and I think it’s time for me to show that through the things that I’m putting out there. Just wanted to let yall know that. If you’re only here for the nudity, that’s cool, but I’m much more than a naked body, way more than that. That’s a cool thing about me, I have a body, so do you! But yeah, I have a spirit and a heart and a mind that is within that body that needs to be respected, and I believe that I will have more respect and less violation of my consent through sexualization of me if I don’t share as much nudity as I have been. So I’m going to figure out some kind of balance for that. I don’t know exactly what that means yet.
Be prepared for potential changes such as what I’ve already mentioned: discontinuing nude videos every month and doing something different, potentially sharing these weekly vlog posts for everyone, not just members, and making it so that it’s continuing to be members that have access to the galleries and archives of my work, and posting and making less nude content in general. So head’s up there.
I appreciate yall so much, you’re the reason I’m able to do any of this at all. Literally this is my full time job is my website and doing things for yall and making art that is constantly changing I suppose. Art that I haven’t really made this year. Yeah…. I am so grateful for yall for allowing me to have this as my full time job. I dreamed of having this as my job, for years, and that dream happened and it exists in real life now! Now I’m ready to dream of new things. I don’t exactly know what that is yet, but I’m working on it and making little steps in that direction, and we’re gonna see where that goes. Thank you for being what is making me able to do that at all. I appreciate you, I love you, I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful weekend. I’ll talk to you next week. Bye!
Video/PWYC members:
click here to view the full 61 image self portrait photoset near Canyonlands at sunset
click here to view the 8.5 minute energy release and body connection videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset I took in Utah (Edge of Sunset)
click here to view the 2.5 minute BTS video -
Self Portraits at the entrance of a Colorado cave
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So this week is a little bit different. You might not really notice much different, but I usually use my cell phone for these videos but this week my cell phone is locked away in a drawer for at least the next few days because I don’t want to be on social media so I’m making myself not even touch my phone so I don’t accidentally be like “oh I wonder what’s happening?” get on social media and then be on there for like 4 hours. So yeah, it’s in a drawer and the drawer is taped shut and I’m not going to touch my phone until Friday at the earliest, yay me! I’m taking this video on my fancy digital camera which I haven’t used in a while so it’s probably good that I’m using it.
This week I’m sharing a… I think it’s the last photoset that I took in the cave in Colorado. I’m not going to say too much about it because I already told you about it last week and there’s also videos from when I was actually there that you can watch. I feel like I don’t have to go over the cave in Colorado anymore, but you’re going to have some awesome photos and BTS video from that to look at. The first look members… I believe it’s another 1 or 2 sets from Goblin Valley, so I’m excited to share those too. I don’t have my computer open and my list of all the things but I’m pretty sure that’s what it is, I’m pretty sure it’s content from Goblin Valley. Hopefully I’m right, I think I’m right. I don’t want to have to go search and find what it is but I’m pretty sure it’s from Goblin Valley.
Yesterday at the end of the day I decided that I’m not going to be on social media or my phone at least until Friday at the earliest. So I taped my phone away in a drawer and now I cleaned the whole house today and I did all of my laundry and now I’m like… what am I going to do? It’s funny how much I realize now I’m on my phone, because when I’m not on it I’m like “wow suddenly I have so much more time!” It’s wild! Yeah I’m really glad I’m not on my phone. I don’t know about you but I sometimes struggle with having boundaries with my phone. That’s something I’m working on. Also I’m taking this video early, this is.. I think today is Tuesday. I usually make the video on Thursdays. I’m taking a technology break but I’m still going to obviously be doing my weekly content for yall, so I’m not 100% off of technology because this camera is technology and my computer that I’ll be on probably Thursday is technology. I’m just not going to be on social media and I’m not going to touch my phone. I don’t have a lot to say this week because not much has changed. I’m probably not going to be leaving my house for the next 2 weeks, which will be interesting, especially while I’m not using my phone I’m going to be like, finding things to do. Which is kinda funny because I remember before back in the day I used to be like “wow I do all these things and I don’t have time for all the things I want to do!” and now today I’m like… “hmmmm what am I going to do? I don’t want to watch tv, what do I want to do?” I can’t go on a walk because it’s raining, except I’m probably going to still go on a walk, I have a rain jacket. It’s amazing how much more time you have when you’re not on your phone.
I don’t have much to say this week so I’m going to stop this video so I don’t keep rambling but I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate every single one of you so much! You are literally what keeps me fed, literally what keeps me with a roof over my head, literally what makes it so that I’m able to do any of this at all, so thank you, you mean the world to me. It’s been so awesome getting to know some of you more personally. Some of you, especially some of the newer people who have joined, I haven’t.. I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation, so if you want to talk, you can comment on this post or send me an email. Yeah I think yall are awesome and I’m glad you’re my friends and I’m glad you’re here. I’m always open to hear what kinds of things you’re interested in, because I continually know that I’m going to be changing and shifting things with my website. I still don’t know exactly what that is yet, and I’m going to continue to mention it so nobody’s surprised when something changes. I’m of course going to let you know what the change is before I do it, and I don’t know what the change is yet because I haven’t decided!
I don’t have an infinite supply of nude art, and I’ve had a total of 2 photoshoots this entire year and I’ve taken like 2 or 3 self portrait sets this entire year and it’s like the end of September. My backlog won’t last forever. I feel like I’ll have started some kind of content before I actually run out of content to share. I’ve stopped modeling completely, and like I said I’ve done 2 photoshoots this year. I’ve been slowing down a lot, and reevaluating what’s important to me and yall are the reason I’m able to do that. That’s amazing, thank you so much. I think that bigger better things are coming. Maybe not even bigger, just different. Maybe not even better, just different, I don’t know. I keep thinking about meditation and energy healing and I keep taking videos of nature and I know I’m going to do something with them, I don’t know exactly what that is yet. Probably videos of meditation and energy healing haha. I feel kindof… I don’t want to say stuck… I’m in the liminal space between who I was a little over a year ago, who I was in the photos I’ve shared this weekend with yall. I’m in the liminal space between that and who I’m becoming, who I’m growing into. I’m figuring it out, day by day. I don’t actually know what I’m doing. Does anyone actually know what they’re doing? I don’t think so. I’m just glad yall are here with me. I appreciate you all. I love you, and I’ll talk to you next week! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset of me at the entrance of a cave in Colorado during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video (+2 vlogs from before I found the cave)First Look members:
click here to view the complete self portrait photoset in Utah (Going In)
click here to view the BTS video
click here to view the complete self portrait photoset in Utah (My Own Canyon)
click here to view the BTS video -
Self Portraits at the entrance of a Colorado cave
Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset of me at the entrance of a cave in Colorado during my cross country road trip last summer
- 59 image complete photoset
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21+ minutes of BTS video (+2 vlogs before I found the cave)
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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22 image complete self portrait photoset in Utah (Going In)
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2.5 minutes of BTS video
- 53 image complete self portrait photoset in Utah (My Own Canyon)
- 5 minutes of BTS video
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Self Portraits IN A CAVE!
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! It’s raining again which is why I’m not outside. This week I have some really awesome photos to share with you. I have the first photoset that I’m sharing from my time in the cave on my cross country road trip last summer. I was… if you followed all the videos I made every day last summer when I was on my cross country road trip, then you know what happened before I took these, and after, because I talked about it in the vlog. If you’re new to my website I’ll do a quick recap. I had just gotten to Colorado National Mounument and I came in through some back way somehow and didn’t realize that I was actually in Colorado National Monument. I was trying to find McInnis Canyons, and while I did find the parking lot for it, I didn’t trust my van to drive where I really wanted to be, so I gave up on McInnis Canyons and I drove around the park, which is Colorado National Monument, that I didn’t actually realize was the monument because I never went through a gate. You know how at the entrances to most national parks and monuments and stuff, they have a little house thing that has a person that works there that answers your questions and takes your fee to get in and stuff, there’s usually a gate. Apparently I went in through some back way and I never saw a gate so I didn’t realize I was actually in the park.
I ended up sleeping at a trailhead in my van, I just parked at a trailhead and slept there overnight, which I was not supposed to do. The next morning I got up and as I was driving I noticed across the canyon that there was a cave on the side of the canyon, and I wanted to see if I could find it. I parked where I assumed was close-ish to the cave, on the side of the road, there wasn’t actually a parking spot. I’m still not completely aware that I’m actually in Colorado National Monument, I just thought I found some cool ass road. Looking back I should have known, but I never saw any official signs and I didn’t know. I was just real happy about where I was so I didn’t question it. I traipsed around for a little while and I took some videos on the side of the canyon, I hadn’t really found anything yet and I was about to give up, but I was like “you know what, I’m gonna continue walking over here and see what I can find” and I FOUND THE CAVE! I found the fucking cave! So I of course completely celebrated and was super fucking happy and really excited about it. I took a couple of self portrait sets in the cave and some more videos and I’m sharing one of those self portrait sets with you today. There’s like 8 minutes of video that I’m sharing from that cave also, so you get to see me really excited about it. After I was in the cave I went back to my van and I hung out there and had lunch in the van in that space that I parked that wasn’t actually a parking spot. A park ranger parked behind me and started interrogating me and thought that I had alcohol, and thought that I had all these drugs with me and thought that I was like… since I had a mason jar of water which they assumed was moonshine which… why does liquid in a mason jar automatically equate to moonshine in most people’s minds? I don’t get it, I just drink water out of them constantly. So he saw the “moonshine” and thought that… he had seen me parked at the trailhead and he thought that I was like… trying to like (TRIGGER WARNING) commit suicide. He thought I was gonna like drink my ass off and then walk off a cliff or something. Why do all of these “safety official people” people who are cops, why do they always go to the worst possible outcome? I just don’t get it. Anyway. I lied a bunch, a lot, pretending that I didn’t sleep there overnight, because I didn’t want to get in trouble, also fuck cops.
So I was super lucky and I recognize that as a white person that’s probably why I was able to get away with it. If I had darker skin, I probably, who knows what would have happened to me. Definitely not getting away with it and not having any kind of repercussion. If I was Black that would definitely be different. I just want to say I acknowledge my EXTREME privilege and I appreciate that I didn’t get in trouble for this. But yeah that was part of that adventure. If you want to see more of my daily videos that I made when I was on my cross country road trip, I’ll put a link in the caption below (CLICK HERE TO SEE) so you can go look at all of them. Anybody can see them, I posted all over 100 videos that I made for free for anyone who wants to see. So go enjoy that, there’s a bunch of nature things there. Also good luck finding which video it is because there’s a fuck ton of videos, but enjoy your searching! Yeah so that’s what I’m sharing this week with everybody.
First look members I’m sharing a photoset that’s over 100 photos from my time in Goblin Valley. I took several different sets when I was down among the goblins. The parking lot is up above the actual Goblin Valley, then there’s a big hill and down below is this huge valley of all the goblins. It’s really cool, unique interesting rock formations that they call goblins, and it’s a whole valley full of them and it’s wild and awesome. I took all of those different sets and bunched them into one really big set, so that’s available along with BTS video for first look members. It’ll eventually be coming for everyone else. I think that’s most of what I want to share today.
Also I just wanna say my tattoo is healing very well. I’m in the itchy flaky stage, so that’s fun. I’m still washing it 2-3x/day, putting lotion on a bunch. I love it so much and I’m so happy with it! I’m excited to continue, I have 2 more appointments, I have an appt in November and an appt in December to continue. It’s gonna come up here and go here and across my back and down my arm, I’m excited!
Okay this video is getting long and I’ve already told you some stories and also there’s nothing really new in my life right now because… what’s changed since last week? Not really anything. So! Yeah just wanted to say hi and I love you, and YOU YOU are the reason I’m able to do any of this at all. I appreciate you so much. It means the world to me that you support me financially and spiritually and artistically, and friendship-ly haha. Yeah it means a lot. I’m so thankful that you’re here and that I get to continue sharing with you and… yeah. Okay. I love you! MWAH! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset I took inside a cave in Colorado during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset Among Goblins (also from my cross country road trip last summer)
click here to view the BTS video -
Self Portraits with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! I brought notes because I didn’t remember this morning what I had planned to share for this weekend so, I have notes. Hello! It’s raining here today which is why I’m inside because I’m usually outside and I prefer to be outside but…
I just got a massive tattoo started yesterday and I don’t want to walk too much because it’s like half of my left leg. I can probably show you. I’ve been wearing this skirt which is not super me but it helps me to not have tight things on my tattoo which is sore, obviously because I just got it yesterday. Yesterday which was Wednesday because today is Thursday and I always do these Thursdays, almost always, before the Saturday thing.
So… it’s massive and it’s most of my leg. I’ve got a hawk right here, it’s a Poplar tree, and I have a little froggie down there at the bottom, little frog. So it’s like basically most of my leg. It has saniderm on it and it’s bleeding a little bit and also, what’s the word I’m looking for, sweating out some of the ink still which is why it’s shiny and blurry looking because it’s some ink coming out. I just got this yesterday and I’m so happy about it! It’s so big. I love it a lot. It’s eventually going to continue up my side and go across my chest and the top of my back and then down this arm so it’s going to be like half of my body. I’m so excited! Cover me with plants! So that’s the new thing that’s happened for me recently, basically is getting this tattoo that I’ve been dreaming about for probably a year. It’s going to be quite a while in process because it’s so huge and we haven’t even finished all the outlining because there’s still a lot to go, but I’m really excited and I love it already. So I’m taking it easy for the next couple of days and not moving a lot and probably elevating my leg, and not moving and walking around too much.
Yeah so this weekend I’m sharing with you, okay so the photo and video and pay what you can people are getting access to the self portraits that I took with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn I think I took these in like 2017 or something. These are photos that I randomly found that I somehow haven’t shared with you yet, so that’s fun. It’s from several years ago but I really like them, they’re self portraits that I took of us together. For video, that I’m sharing with yall, everybody… yeah all patrons have access to all the stuff I’m talking about. For the video I’m sharing… oh yeah! There’s 11 family vacation videos from when I was in Tennessee with my dad’s side of the family in 2018 that I’m sharing. I’m excited about that, they’re cool and fun, just hanging out at the cabin that we got and we did some hikes and stuff together so you get some videos of that. I have a nude yoga video to share with you that’s not the usual nude yoga video that I’ve been doing in the past. This one is with my mom and we’re doing energy medicine yoga and I believe you can hear my mom cueing us in this video so if you want to do it with us you can. I will be doing some of this, actually, I’ve already told you about the event I’m doing this weekend, which is the Body Language event with Going Beyond the Lens. I’m going to be leading our somatic exercise, I’m going to be leading us through the Wake Up, which is an energy medicine yoga sequence. I’m excited about that and you can do that with us and you can do more because there’s more than just the wake up in this video that’s me and my mom nude in the back yard doing energy medicine yoga!
For first look patrons/members/people I have another photoset from Goblin Valley to share with you. I loved Goblin Valley it was so cool, and the BTS videos from that too. I think I still have a couple of sets from Goblin Valley to share. Yeah I just have so much, like I have plans through Halloween of the photosets I’m going to share with you. I know I still have more, I have enough to continue sharing photosets with you after that as well, that’s just all I have planned. I’ve barely created anything this year, but I think the backlog that I have is enough to get us through at least a few more months of weekly content, so you don’t have to worry about “oh Bunny won’t have anything new to share.” I still have new stuff, well it’s not really “new” but I have a tendency to hoard content for some reason. But I will have new content to share with yall for a few months at least.
My shifting in what I want to do here is going to go more towards videos and healing type of things like energy medicine and meditation and nature videos and stuff like that. It’s what I’m really called to do more lately. I haven’t really done a whole lot as of right now because I’ve got other things going on in other places, but I do have some ideas and things I’ve started for what I want to do.
I don’t know, all of this like… everything’s changing in my world and continually forever changing like always. I just really appreciate that yall are here with me and spending time with me and supporting me and allowing me to have this as my life which is such a gift. I feel like so much more free than I ever have with any other job. And I don’t know if I would even… like… I guess I would say this is my job, if someone asked me I would say I’m a self employed artist, but I don’t know… making nude content or making nature videos and stuff like that doesn’t really feel like work very much to me, it’s just stuff I enjoy doing. Yall are the reason why I get to do it, so that’s really exciting. Yeah, I know that things are going to continue to change for me, and that also means the things on my website will continue to change. I just appreciate that yall are here and I’m excited to share all the things with you, whatever it ends up being! So I hope you enjoy all the stuff I’m sharing this week and I’ll talk to you next week! Mwah!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn
click here to view the videos from a family vacation in Tennessee in 2018 (WHYYYYYY do I hoard content?! haha)
click here to view the nude energy medicine yoga video with my mom! She gives verbal cues so you can do it with us!First Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset in Goblin Valley (Enclosed)
click here to view the BTS video