CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

Hi friends! This week I’m sharing a photoset that was taken by KH of me & Eva Luna when we were all in Portland in the summer of 2019. I also have BTS video and BTS pictures to share with you, so all of that is now in the galleries. This is the same place as the photoset I shared with you of them recently, the nude beach, which is awesome. I highly recommend going to nude beaches as much as possible for anyone, because they’re fun and also I love to be naked outside. It feels really safe to be at a place where they expect you to be nude. So that’s my favorite thing, is being in places where I don’t have to sneak around and be nude and I can just do it because it’s a normal thing. Hence probably why I’m at home a lot because I can be nude in my back yard with no negative repercussions or whatever.

First look people… I’m sharing the photos I took, and I think I have video too, from when I had the last nude gathering that I was able to have before covid hit. This was in.. I think it was August or September of 2019. I didn’t know that this was going to be my last nude gathering, but this one I did at my house, here, in the living room, that way. We had people over and we took a bunch of pictures and these are the things that I created, but I also have photosets to share with you in the future that were taken by the participants. Two… yeah two or three of the people that participated also took some pictures, so I’ll share those with yall at a later week. But yeah so… I hope you enjoy them. You probably, I mean you most likely have already seen *points behind me* this picture, because I love it and it’s all over the place and I’ve posted it in a lot of places and I have a big print of it in my house next to my bed in my room *points behind me*, that’s from the nude gathering here in the summer of 2019. Yeah so… more from where that came from for first look.

I don’t want to make this too long because I have other things I’d like to do today, but I also realize that I kindof haven’t been putting a lot of effort into these weekly posts as of… recently. Probably because I feel like I’m kindof just like… following the template that I created months ago and it’s not really fun and exciting. There isn’t really much of a purpose behind it other than like “here I’m sharing photos with you. Here I’m sharing videos with you.” I think that’s part of why I want to make changes to my website overall because it’s not um…. there’s nothing wrong with paying me money so you can see nude photos, but it doesn’t really feel very fulfilling to me anymore, and also I’m barely creating any nude work anymore. While nude work will probably be in my future forever at some point, it probably will not be as frequent as it was in the past and I want to focus on other things like building community and actually spending time live with people, doing online events. Which I’ve started doing some of those with Going Beyond the Lens. I want to do some more that are just me and whoever wants to join, through my website and also do free ones for people. I’m still figuring out what all that means and how I want to incorporate memberships and what do I want to do for free, what do I want to have behind a paywall…. because I do have bills that I have to pay and I can’t do everything for free. I also really want to have my content, whatever it ends up being, I want it to be accessible to people, and money is definitely a barrier for a lot of people, so I want to find a good balance where I can still live and sustain myself but I’m also able to offer a lot of free or discounted things for people. So yeah I’m still figuring out what I want to do, I’ve been talking about this for months. I think I’m getting a little closer to figuring out what I want to do. I do have a backlog still, there’s still probably still at least maybe 2 or 3, maybe more months of content that I haven’t shared with yall that are still in my backlog that I could continue sharing on a weekly basis. I’m also kinda considering taking all of it and dumping all of it into the galleries and being like “here it is, enjoy” and maybe making some kind of different, like I don’t know, memes, or some kind of different video, not just a vlog but “this is something I’ve learned and maybe you’d like to know about it too” or “here’s a day in the life” or…  I don’t know, what do yall wanna see from me?

I’m thinking of maybe doing something along the lines of a weekly video or a monthly online hangout focused on some kind of topic that we can discuss, or like “lets meditate together, let’s do some energy together, let’s move our bodies together”. Also I know the nude gatherings have been something that people have been really drawn to, even though I’ve basically cancelled all of them for the foreseeable future because of covid, but I’m considering maybe doing them online in some fashion? So that might be something that I offer for members? I’m not sure, because I feel like, currently, the way I have my website set up, it’s mostly like cishet dudes that are here to see me naked, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just not really like, what I want anymore. I’m hoping to make a… build a community, build a space for community for queer folks and trans folks and people who are questioning and people who want to connect to themselves more, people who maybe want to learn some coping skills for like, how to not be depressed all the time. I mean, I might not be the best person to talk about this because I’m definitely depressed. I think part of it is my feeling like I don’t have a purpose. Part of it is probably also feeling like I’ve already met a lot of goals that I used to have and I don’t know what goals I want to have for the future, so I feel like that’s part of my purposelessness feeling? These are just some thoughts, I’m rambling now, but giving you kindof an idea of the things I’m thinking about in terms of changing my website. I want to do a complete overhaul, like I want to redo my whole website, like change the banner, change the menu, change the things I have available for you to look at on my website, change what I’m offering, change the types of things that I’m selling, change the way that I interact on here, because right now it’s just like “pay me money, see my nudes” and I want more than that. I want community, I want queer people, I want a space for me to learn and grow and yall learn and grow with me. I want to not be seen as the expert, I want to be seen as someone who’s on a journey with you, of exploration and curiosity. I don’t want to be like “the boss” or the leader all the time, maybe I can facilitate the space, but I’m not the only person who has interesting things to say. I’m not the only person who has ideas of ways that the world could be better. I’m sure all of you have ideas also and have important interesting things to say. So I’m… maybe getting closer to figuring things out, but I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and that’s okay. You gotta be in a place of not knowing before you can be in a place of knowing, right? Yeah okay this has been almost 11 minutes now and I think I’ve said everything. I love you, thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you next week!

All members:
click here to view the 144 image photoset of me & Eva Luna taken by KH at a nude beach
click here to view the 66 BTS photos I took that day
click here to view the 16 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every month

First Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 56 image digital photoset I took during the nude gathering I facilitated at my home here in Charlotte (with Leopold model, Canischromatis, Nova Amour, & 2 anonymous models)
click here to view the 37 image double exposure photoset
click here to view 45 minutes of BTS video

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