-
KH photographs Eva Luna & me at a nude beach
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This week I’m sharing a photoset that was taken by KH of me & Eva Luna when we were all in Portland in the summer of 2019. I also have BTS video and BTS pictures to share with you, so all of that is now in the galleries. This is the same place as the photoset I shared with you of them recently, the nude beach, which is awesome. I highly recommend going to nude beaches as much as possible for anyone, because they’re fun and also I love to be naked outside. It feels really safe to be at a place where they expect you to be nude. So that’s my favorite thing, is being in places where I don’t have to sneak around and be nude and I can just do it because it’s a normal thing. Hence probably why I’m at home a lot because I can be nude in my back yard with no negative repercussions or whatever.
First look people… I’m sharing the photos I took, and I think I have video too, from when I had the last nude gathering that I was able to have before covid hit. This was in.. I think it was August or September of 2019. I didn’t know that this was going to be my last nude gathering, but this one I did at my house, here, in the living room, that way. We had people over and we took a bunch of pictures and these are the things that I created, but I also have photosets to share with you in the future that were taken by the participants. Two… yeah two or three of the people that participated also took some pictures, so I’ll share those with yall at a later week. But yeah so… I hope you enjoy them. You probably, I mean you most likely have already seen *points behind me* this picture, because I love it and it’s all over the place and I’ve posted it in a lot of places and I have a big print of it in my house next to my bed in my room *points behind me*, that’s from the nude gathering here in the summer of 2019. Yeah so… more from where that came from for first look.
I don’t want to make this too long because I have other things I’d like to do today, but I also realize that I kindof haven’t been putting a lot of effort into these weekly posts as of… recently. Probably because I feel like I’m kindof just like… following the template that I created months ago and it’s not really fun and exciting. There isn’t really much of a purpose behind it other than like “here I’m sharing photos with you. Here I’m sharing videos with you.” I think that’s part of why I want to make changes to my website overall because it’s not um…. there’s nothing wrong with paying me money so you can see nude photos, but it doesn’t really feel very fulfilling to me anymore, and also I’m barely creating any nude work anymore. While nude work will probably be in my future forever at some point, it probably will not be as frequent as it was in the past and I want to focus on other things like building community and actually spending time live with people, doing online events. Which I’ve started doing some of those with Going Beyond the Lens. I want to do some more that are just me and whoever wants to join, through my website and also do free ones for people. I’m still figuring out what all that means and how I want to incorporate memberships and what do I want to do for free, what do I want to have behind a paywall…. because I do have bills that I have to pay and I can’t do everything for free. I also really want to have my content, whatever it ends up being, I want it to be accessible to people, and money is definitely a barrier for a lot of people, so I want to find a good balance where I can still live and sustain myself but I’m also able to offer a lot of free or discounted things for people. So yeah I’m still figuring out what I want to do, I’ve been talking about this for months. I think I’m getting a little closer to figuring out what I want to do. I do have a backlog still, there’s still probably still at least maybe 2 or 3, maybe more months of content that I haven’t shared with yall that are still in my backlog that I could continue sharing on a weekly basis. I’m also kinda considering taking all of it and dumping all of it into the galleries and being like “here it is, enjoy” and maybe making some kind of different, like I don’t know, memes, or some kind of different video, not just a vlog but “this is something I’ve learned and maybe you’d like to know about it too” or “here’s a day in the life” or… I don’t know, what do yall wanna see from me?
I’m thinking of maybe doing something along the lines of a weekly video or a monthly online hangout focused on some kind of topic that we can discuss, or like “lets meditate together, let’s do some energy together, let’s move our bodies together”. Also I know the nude gatherings have been something that people have been really drawn to, even though I’ve basically cancelled all of them for the foreseeable future because of covid, but I’m considering maybe doing them online in some fashion? So that might be something that I offer for members? I’m not sure, because I feel like, currently, the way I have my website set up, it’s mostly like cishet dudes that are here to see me naked, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just not really like, what I want anymore. I’m hoping to make a… build a community, build a space for community for queer folks and trans folks and people who are questioning and people who want to connect to themselves more, people who maybe want to learn some coping skills for like, how to not be depressed all the time. I mean, I might not be the best person to talk about this because I’m definitely depressed. I think part of it is my feeling like I don’t have a purpose. Part of it is probably also feeling like I’ve already met a lot of goals that I used to have and I don’t know what goals I want to have for the future, so I feel like that’s part of my purposelessness feeling? These are just some thoughts, I’m rambling now, but giving you kindof an idea of the things I’m thinking about in terms of changing my website. I want to do a complete overhaul, like I want to redo my whole website, like change the banner, change the menu, change the things I have available for you to look at on my website, change what I’m offering, change the types of things that I’m selling, change the way that I interact on here, because right now it’s just like “pay me money, see my nudes” and I want more than that. I want community, I want queer people, I want a space for me to learn and grow and yall learn and grow with me. I want to not be seen as the expert, I want to be seen as someone who’s on a journey with you, of exploration and curiosity. I don’t want to be like “the boss” or the leader all the time, maybe I can facilitate the space, but I’m not the only person who has interesting things to say. I’m not the only person who has ideas of ways that the world could be better. I’m sure all of you have ideas also and have important interesting things to say. So I’m… maybe getting closer to figuring things out, but I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and that’s okay. You gotta be in a place of not knowing before you can be in a place of knowing, right? Yeah okay this has been almost 11 minutes now and I think I’ve said everything. I love you, thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you next week!
All members:
click here to view the 144 image photoset of me & Eva Luna taken by KH at a nude beach
click here to view the 66 BTS photos I took that day
click here to view the 16 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 56 image digital photoset I took during the nude gathering I facilitated at my home here in Charlotte (with Leopold model, Canischromatis, Nova Amour, & 2 anonymous models)
click here to view the 37 image double exposure photoset
click here to view 45 minutes of BTS video -
Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I am doing this video a week in advance and prepping this week’s content a week in advance also because when this will be happening, when I usually would have been recording this and sharing it I will be in Durham with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. I wanted to do this early so that I could really focus on being present with Lior and Roarie while we’re in person together in Durham. I’m so excited. By the time this video comes out the event will already have happened, but if you missed it and didn’t get to sign up for the Backstage Pass event, I’m going to link below to all the information about it, because if you missed it, I’m not sure how, but just in case I’m going to put the link below. (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) If you missed the event, because this is going to be coming out on January 2nd and the event is December 30th. If you missed the event and you didn’t sign up and you’re like “oh nooo I really wanted to watch yall create together and I really wanted to see what questions you answered and I wanted to be a part of that and I totally forgot!” or whatever, you can donate $11 or more to me or Lior or Roarie or I can link our bigcartel shop below which is where you can donate, there’s a lot of different amounts you can donate, but if you donate $11 or more we will send you the recording! (CLICK HERE TO DONATE) So if you missed it and you’re kicking yourself for it, email me or something and I can get you set up. So yeah $11 or more and you can get the recording, yay!
Okay now back to website things. This week I’m sharing a photoset that I took in the summer of 2019 with Eva Luna and KH and this was outside of Portland Oregon. We went to a nude beach, which was amazing and probably my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland. There’s a lot of places I went and I can’t say that I had one particular favorite over the whole trip, actually maybe I can I have a couple of favorites, but… In terms of my time in Portland, my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland was this nude beach. I just love being places where it’s expected for you to be naked, who would have known haha. Places where it’s okay to be naked out in nature to me are super important and super my kind of places so yeah this was a very fun shoot. I met up with Eva and KH and we drove together to this nude beach and we hung out for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures and it was super fun. I did have an upsetting thing happen while we were there. So earlier in my road trip when I was in Joshua Tree I posed for Moss Von Faustenberg and he took several polaroids and he gave me 3 or 4 of them which I was super excited about because I love having tangible things and also the photos were really amazing. So these polaroids I had in my camera bag and when we were shooting we didn’t want to lug all of our stuff all around the beach the whole time, so we found a nice spot just in the woods right off of the beach. There was this little clearing and we put all our stuff there and kept an eye on it as much as we could. We didn’t keep an eye on our stuff well enough because someone went through our stuff and I…. guess, I don’t know, they must not have cared much about stealing cameras or phones or credit cards. They just moved our stuff around and the only thing they stole from me, they stole those polaroids, and I was very sad. But I was also very thankful that it wasn’t like my whole camera bag or my phone or keys or credit card or ID or all the things, I could have been so screwed. All they stole was… I had this tin, it was like a tin that chocolate came in from Switzerland, it was like swiss chocolate, used to be swiss chocolate, it was a tin that had swiss chocolate in it, it was the perfect size to keep polaroids in. I had the polaroids in it and this like crinkley rainbowey holographicy shiny clearish paper plasticky stuff that was really fun to put in front of the lens to get cool light and color and stuff. That film paper stuff and the polaroids were in that tin and that tin is the only thing that got stolen. I guess they really liked the nude polaroids and didn’t care about my camera and credit card? I’m very thankful that that’s all they stole but also I’m really sad because the only evidence I have of those polaroids is a really short video that I took of the polaroids. If you’re in the first look tier, the Nov 28th post that I did when I shared the like fuck ton of stuff that I was a part of in Joshua Tree, you can see that really short video that includes the polaroids in it, in that content. So that’s the only evidence of those polaroids that I have. I was supposed to have the physical polaroids that I was bringing home, but they didn’t make it. Somebody stole them when I was in Portland. I was really sad about that, but I was also very thankful that it wasn’t anything more crucial that they stole from me because I could have been really screwed. Those photos, these are the single exposures that I took of Eva and KH and also I’m sharing the BTS video from that shoot. I think they’re amazing photos I’m so excited.
For First look this week I’m sharing a self portrait photoset that I took with my mom and some behind the scenes video from that. The self portraits that I took with my mom we took them in this room, my bedroom. This was before I moved in here again so this room was empty and we took advantage of that space. I’m gonna turn this… just took photos in front of my curtain. Uh yeah so self portraits with my mom in here when there was nothing here and yay.
That’s my story for this week. I love you! Thank you so much for being here! It is because of you that I’m able to do any of this and that means the world to me that you enjoy my content and you care what I have to say in some capacity, that you support me in this adventure that is my self employment as an artist, even when I barely create anything anymore. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there are major changes coming to my website soon, I don’t exactly know what that is yet but I know more and more that that is coming up. Head’s up, things are changing, I don’t know what or when but it’s gonna happen at some point because I’m not totally happy with the way things are done on my website right now. Like, I have a system in place that works but it’s not as fulfilling and exciting and fun as I would like it to be, so I want to shift things around and I don’t know exactly what that is yet. You’ll know when I know.
I love you so much! Thank you for being here, it means so much to me and literally means that I can pay my bills so that means a lot, in this capitalist bullshit existence. Well the existence isn’t bullshit, it’s the capitalist stuff that’s bullshit but you know, I’m trying to live outside of capitalism in any way that I can, which is very hard, but we’re doing what we can here. I love you. *blows kiss* bye!
All members:
click here to view the 36 image photoset of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach in Oregon summer 2019
click here to view the 30.5+ minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 41 image self portrait photoset with Mommy at home soon before I moved back in (2019)
click here to view 21.5 minutes of BTS video -
Waterfall Introspection
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, welcome to another week of… my website. So this week I have a self portrait set that I took in 2018 on that first solo road trip that I went on, I talked about it… 2 weeks ago in the other waterfall self portrait set that I shared. I visited a whole bunch of waterfalls on this trip, it was like a long weekend, so this is a different waterfall and somehow after I took the photos and uploaded them to my smugmug, I forgot about this whole trip of self portraits that I took, somehow? So that’s why I’m sharing them now because I like somehow lost them / forgot about them after I took them and just never shared them. These photos I took I don’t even remember the name of the place that I was hiking. I probably could find it if I saw a map and looked back through some stuff. I hiked, this was in the mountains because that’s like my favorite place to be, I was hiking in the mountains near some waterfalls and I came upon this area that was a whole bunch of bare rock next to the river that had a little waterfall on it further up the river. I just hung out there for a long time and nobody really showed up for a long time so I was like “okay I feel safe being naked here” so I took some self portraits and then I got dressed and I think I was pulling oracle cards and journaling, and then a small family, like 2 or 3 person little group of adult and little children came by, and so I was like “okay so that’s perfect that I wasn’t naked when they showed up” because usually its people with kids that get annoyed or angry when people don’t have clothes on. So yeah that’s the photoset I’m sharing this week.
I have a video that has nothing to do with this photoset that I’m also sharing. This video I took.. I believe it was 2019, I’m not sure if it was before or after my cross country trip (EDIT: it was after). This was me when I lived at my sister’s house, hanging out in the living room in my sister’s house and listening to music and like, dancing and moving around and playing with the kittens… I call them shittens. Playing with shittens back when the cats that my sister has were actually kittens. They were so friggin cute. So this video is me just playing and dancing around and moving my body and playing with little kittens, so me and shittens, and dancing kindof, yoga ish, movement video.
First look people, I’m sharing more photos from Columbus Ohio. These are photos that Jacs Fishburne took of me and Lior Allay when we were traveling there, so these are I believe… all of the photos I am sharing with me and Lior and Jacs, which there are 3 photosets. I shared one of them last week, that was Lior’s photos of me and Jacs, this week it’s Jacs photos of me and Lior, and then next week I’ll be sharing… no I already shared those. The ones of Lior and Jacs that I took were the week before that. Next week I’ll be sharing something different. But yeah, so these are all from the same day and it was very fun. So first look is getting the photos and BTS videos of Jacs photographing me and Lior.
Speaking of Lior… if you didn’t already see it, I am going to be in Durham at the end of the month and I just got tested, I am negative, I got my result yesterday, covid negative, yay! I’m meeting up in person with Lior and Roarie and we are going to be brainstorming and dreaming up the future possibilities for Going Beyond the Lens and we are offering an event while we’re all together. We’re calling it Backstage Pass because you get a backstage pass to our shoot, we’re going to create together, the 3 of us, and the first half of the backstage pass event is gonna be the 3 of us answering all of your questions about shooting and how to communicate with the people you’re creating with, how to make sure everybody feels safe, how to make sure there’s consent, how to bounce ideas off of each other, all of these things, so I’m really excited because I have created with both of them, Lior and Roarie, but they have actually never met each other in person so this is going to be the first time that they’re creating together period, and this is the first time that we’re going to be all 3 creating together. I’m very excited because they’re both amazing people and they know each other now through all of the things we’ve been doing together, I just think that like, when you only know someone through the internet it’s different than when you actually get to meet them in person, so I’m very excited that we’re all going to be in person together and yeah I think I’m just super excited in general to be in person with them because it’s been a long time. We’re all getting tested, all self quarantining, being extra careful so that we make sure we’re not going to accidentally spread covid. Like I said I just got my covid test result back yesterday and I am covid negative, and I’m going to continue to like not leave my house until I go there basically. So yeah I’m excited.
Yeah I think that’s all I have to say today. Come and join us to be a part of the Backstage Pass event. I’ll put a link in the caption below. (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!) This is a fundraising event for Going Beyond the Lens because we would really like to maybe create a website or some kind of community forum or something. We need to change the way we’re doing things online a little bit, because right now we have stuff in a google drive and it’s almost full already. We need to make some plans in terms of infrastructure, and so we are fundraising through this event. Tickets are $11 and we also have an option if you’d like to donate an additional amount of money that is available also, which is also super really appreciated. We have a lot of really exciting dreams and plans for what we would really love to do with Going Beyond the Lens so we’re hoping that this event will help get us a little bit of the money that we need in order to make some of these exciting plans and updates and changes so that we can better serve the GBTL community. So if you’d like to watch us create together live, please join us, I’ll put the link below (CLICK HERE!!!!) It’s only $11, this is a once in a lifetime thing, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do this again for a while. I don’t want to say once in a lifetime because I assume we’ll be able to do something like this again at some point, but I have no idea when something like this will happen again. Also if you can’t make it, the event is on December 30th, it’s a Wednesday I believe, and it’s from 10am-1pm eastern time. If you cannot make it, every single person who signs up will be getting a recording of the whole event so if you can’t make it there’s no worries because you can watch it whenever. Yeah I’m just really excited, its going to be really fun, and it’ll basically be the first time I’ve created in months.
Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you soon! Mwah!
All members:
click here to view the 54 image self portrait photoset of me at an NC waterfall in 2018
click here to view the 5 minute video of me playing with kittens & moving my body
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 42 image photoset of me & Lior Allay taken by Jacs Fishburne in Columbus OH fall 2019
click here to view 13 minutes of BTS video -
Hidden Pool Self Portraits
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends! Welcome to another week of…. uhm… I don’t even know what to call it. Blursday, blursmonth, blursyear. My mom told me about blursday which I think is pretty appropriate for covid times because now more than ever we are very aware that time is made up. Anyway, speaking of time… the photos that I’m sharing with you this week were taken a couple years ago, in I believe 2018. These are some self portraits that I took very close to a waterfall that I found…. this waterfall.. kinda. Let me back up. I went on my first road trip by myself in 2018, it was a long weekend, and I believe it was the first time that I stayed in my van by myself also. I went to the mountains in NC and visited several waterfalls and I hiked and had lots of fun. Since it was my first little road trip by myself I was kindof nervous because I didn’t know what to expect and I had always done road trips with someone else. It was really, honestly it was really freeing to go on a road trip by myself and realize that I don’t have to have another person with me in order to have a good time. This waterfall is basically off the side of a highway… well not really a highway, off the side of a mountain road out in the country in the mountains of NC. I basically parked on the side of the road where there was space and hiked down a really really steep hill. You’ve probably seen a video of me with a snail, that was the same place, that was when I was hiking down I found the snail, it was so cute it was really big! It was a big snail! So I made a little friend… but this is that same trip, that same place. If you’ve been here a while and remember the snail. Yeah this is around some rocks from the waterfall, it’s a really big waterfall and this was a little pool kinda at the base of the waterfall where I took these self portraits, so I hope you enjoy them, I very much love them, it was a great time.
The videos I’m sharing this week have nothing to do with the photos. I took these couple of videos with my parents and one of them my aunt joined in. They’re interview-style where we talked about how our family is a little bit different than most other families, and some of our family history a little bit. We took these…. I think it was sometime in 2019 so these videos are also not super new, but I’ve just been holding on to them because I do that? But I hope you enjoy them.
First look folks.. I’m sharing some photos that I took of Lior Allay & Jacs Fishburne when I was in Columbus Ohio with Lior in the fall of 2019. This is some photos that I took of them at Jacs’ place and BTS videos from taking those photos. I also have some photos I took that are BTS with Lior when they were here…. I think that was after… I think it was late 2019 when they were here. Time doesn’t make sense, I’m not even going to try to be exact with time because time doesn’t matter, I mean it does, but time is weird. There was a time when Lior came here and they shot with my friend Kara Perry and I took some BTS of them shooting so that’s also being shared to first look. It has nothing to do with my trip with Lior visiting Jacs in Columbus, but I figured since it’s more Lior things I would share it with first look this week too.
I am going to Granny’s house again next week so I’m going to record next week’s vlog today, like after I’m done with this one, so that’s why I’m gonna be wearing the same clothes. Also because I wear the same clothes a lot in general, so if I’m wearing the same clothes that doesn’t necessarily mean it was something that was done the same day. Since I’ll be out of town next week at Granny’s and I probably won’t have as much time to do computer work stuff, I’m going to get it done this week hopefully that way I won’t have to worry about it next week so… yeah.
Thank you for being here, I appreciate that you care about the things that I create. It means a lot that yall show up here with me every week and look at my content and I love when you comment or message me and let me know your thoughts on what I create, because how am I going to make anything that you like if I don’t know what you like? But also I mostly create what I like and hope that the right people come along that also like the same things as me. I don’t really wanna make things that I’m not into just because other people like it, you know? I wanna make things that I’m excited about and I think it shows in my work when I’m excited about something, so yeah… thanks for caring about the same things that I do, like nudity, and nature, and connection to community. I love you, thanks for being here, I’ll talk to you next week! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 50 image self portrait photoset I took at a hidden pool near an NC waterfall from 2018
click here to view 33 minutes of interviews with my parents & my aunt about our family
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 33 image photoset of Lior Allay & Jacs Fishburne in Columbus OH fall 2019
click here to view 23.5 minutes of BTS video
click here to view the 11 video and 18 image BTS photoset of Kara Perry photographing Lior Allay at my house -
Red Studio Couch
*CONTENT WARNING*: I am walking around outside during the first part of the video. If this is disorienting for you, skip to 1:07.
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Ooh the ground is kinda wet. I wanted to lay down in these beautiful red maple leaves, but the ground is wet and cold so maybe I won’t. But here I will squat so you can see. Yeah it’s just a whole… let me walk over here. Just a big circle where all the leaves have fallen, it’s so pretty. Oh my gosh my toes are frozen though I’m going inside it’s too cold. I wanted to share what I am sharing this week and I will do that as soon as my feet are not numb anymore. It’s cold! I thought it wasn’t going to be too cold but it’s totally too cold. *aagh cold noises*
This week I have a self portrait set that I took… maybe 2016, 2017, 2018, not really sure what year. A self portrait set that I took a couple years ago, not in 2019 it was before that so probably 2017, 2018? that I took in my friend’s studio on this cool red couch that they had in there. I’m sharing BTS video from that same studio but a different time. The BTS that I’m sharing are BTS that I took when I was assisting my photographer friend Terry Wyse with his photoshoot with Roarie Yum! So it’s BTS of Terry shooting Roarie, and I think that was 2019.
First Look people are getting… what am I sharing with First Look? Oh the photos that I took with Lior Allay when we were in Pittsburgh in the fall of 2019 and BTS from that and other video things. Yeah so that’s what I’m sharing this week.
What do I have to talk about other than that? Other than my feet finally warming up? Tomorrow, which is Friday, so by the time you see this it will already have happened, but tomorrow I’m getting more of my tattoo done. The one on my leg with the Poplar tree, I’m very excited. So I’ll probably be tired and not as much up for physical things for a while after that because tattoos wear me out, especially because I tend to do several hours at a time. Yeah I’m really excited because I’m ready to be covered with plants.
Uhm yeah I don’t have much else to say at the moment, nothing much new is going on. I’m obviously back home for a couple weeks and then I’m going back to Granny’s for a couple weeks. Er, for a week IN a couple weeks, to continue helping her out. Yeah that’s kindof all that’s new with me right now. Love you, thank you for being here. <3
PS- I looked it up and these self portraits were taken in 2017.
All members:
click here to view the 25 image self portrait photoset I took on a red couch in my friend’s studio
click here to view the 9 BTS videos & 15 BTS photos in that same studio but years later when I was assisting Terry Wyse while he was photographing Roarie Yum
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 32 image photoset of me & Lior Allay when we traveled to Pittsburgh together in 2019
click here to view 12 BTS videos -
V and her family
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! This week… I guess I’ll tell you what I’m sharing first and then I’ll tell you what’s currently going on for me in my life. This week I’m sharing a photoset (sorry my phone is being funky) that I took of my friend V and her partner and their oldest baby. This was probably I think last year, 2019? Maybe late 2018? I didn’t look at the dates but it wasn’t this year because I’ve not really shot anything this year. Well I have shot like 2 things but it’s not enough for me to say that I’ve made much this year. These photos were taken at V & her partner’s house, and it was so cute because they were just doing like… you know, they were being a family and I was just there to capture some of that and it was wonderful and adorable and also funny and their baby I think he was maybe around a year and she was pregnant with her second baby, well her second baby with this partner. She has an older child that wasn’t there. Yeah so it’s the little family with another little one on the way. It was just fun photos, we didn’t really go into it with any really specific plans, we just wanted to capture their family. Her partner doesn’t model very much but it was really wonderful and adorable to just be with them as a family and just take photos, it was fun.
The video I’m sharing this week is a video I took I think it was last year in the summer, I think it was between the time I went on my road trip and chopped all my hair off, I think. It’s me just doing, nude, doing yoga and intuitive movements, dancing kindof, so it’s just like a nude movement video, which is great.
First look people have… I’m going to share a MASSIVE amount of stuff with first look this week. It’s ALL of the photos from Joshua Tree in summer 2019 when I was on my road trip. Er… all the REST of the photos. I think I’ve already shared all of the other JT photos with me and June St Paul when we shot each other. This is… there are 3 photographers, Moss Von Faustenberg, Ellin Aldana, and Lady River. They all 3 came and we hung out and traipsed around this airbnb that you’ve already seen in the other JT stuff. Airbnb compound basically, it’s a whole bunch of different little airbnbs in this main space. MASSIVE massive. I think just the photos that I’m sharing from Moss are several hundred photos, and that’s just the photos from him, so…. plus the photos from both other photographers and BTS videos. It’s like.. a fuck ton of stuff. Like, a whole lot. A lot a lot. So that’s massive, first look go enjoy those it’s gonna be a whole lot. You’ll have a lot of time to look through it because there’s so much.
I don’t know if you can hear the dogs…. I’m currently in Virginia at my grandmother’s house. This is her giant oak tree that’s in her back yard. Of course that’s where I wanted to be to make this video. It’s quite large. So I didn’t have any plans to travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas because of covid, but my grandmother, I call her Granny so I’m going to call her Granny here because that’s who she is, she’s Granny. Granny got into a car accident on 11/5 and was in the hospital for over a week and is back home now, where I am currently at her house. She’s 89, she before the accident was living by herself and doing her own thing, going to exercise class and getting her hair done, you know, taking care of herself. Since the accident she’s broken several bones, er, she broke several bones during the accident and she’s still recovering and she can’t do all the things that she used to do right now so she needs a lot of help and my 2 aunts and me, we’re all taking turns helping her around the house. She can get around with a walker but she needs a little supervision standing up and getting down and she has a few cracked vertebra in her neck so she has to wear this collar/neck brace thing which is keeping her from sleeping very well because she has to wear it 24/7, so someone has to stay with her through the night because she usually wakes up every hour or two or three. So we have to… she wakes up and wants to get out of bed, half the time she has to pee so we have to help her get to the bathroom. But yeah she needs extra help now so… I didn’t have any plans for traveling during the holidays but I’m here helping out because she needs some help, and I work on my computer so I can work from her house or my house, so I might as well be here to help her out. I did take a covid test right before I came here to make sure that I wasn’t like… having covid and just asymptomatic so I made sure that I was really safe before I came. Got a negative result obviously since I’m here. Just wanted yall to know that I’m not being.. you know… not careful. I’m definitely being careful.
I am thankful that yall are the reason that I am able to work remotely from my computer and yall are the reason that I’m able to help take care of my Granny. If I had a regular 9-5 job I wouldn’t be able to be here to help out. It’s kinda hard since she basically needs attention 24/7 ish. She’s doing really well but she needs help with certain things so you basically have to be here with her the whole time because if she needs to get up you gotta help her out. It’s a 24/7 type of thing and one of my aunts has been here for a few weeks and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep as you can imagine. The other aunt has been working but she’s a teacher so she’s on her break for school so she’s able to help out more too. The aunt who has been here just left earlier today and is going to be at her house and resting and taking care of her house things and then coming back before I leave. So there’s going to be 2 people here with Granny for the foreseeable future. I’m here this week and then I’m going back home for my birthday and then I’m getting more of my tattoo done early December and then mid-December I’m coming back.
Yeah.. because of yall I’m able to be here and help Granny. That means SO MUCH to me, yall have no idea. I just wanted to say thank you because it means a whole lot that yall are here supporting me and that I can work remotely and help out my Granny and still be able to work because I just need a computer and internet access. So yeah yall are the reason I’m able to do that and I thank you so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. It’s cold but I’m outside because I wanted to be with the oak tree. I remember there used to be a swing that hung from this branch.. that one…. this one. There used to be a swing that hung from that branch and I would swing when I was a kid out here. There used to be a sandbox over here that I would play with my sister. That is their neighbor’s house, that’s my aunt’s house, and then Granny’s house is that way… like… there. So my one aunt is super close, my other aunt lives in Blacksburg which is a couple hours from where my Granny is. But yeah, anyway. Thank you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here.
CAPTION FOR 2ND VIDEO:
My last video was interrupted by neighbor dog Jay Jay who likes to bark a lot at me. So I’m probably going to cut that out and put this in there so if it’s cut off funky that’s why. It’s kinda startling to have a dog suddenly be barking at you. I’ll see what the video looks like, it might be funny, so I might keep it, but if it’s too startling I might cut out the part where dog’s barking at me. He’s harmless, he’s just very protective and loud. He’s the next door neighbor’s dog…. that’s Jay Jay. That’s all I have to say, I just wanted to do this little video to let you know why the other one was cut off funny. Yes, okay. I love you. Thank you. I’m so thankful that I can be here, so thank you. It’s because of you.
PS- MY 31ST BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 30TH!
31% OFF EVERYTHING* IN MY SHOP INCLUDING SALE ITEMS
USE CODE ’31BDAY’ TO GET THE DISCOUNT
SALE ENDS DECEMBER 1ST <3
*The only item excluded from the sale is the pay what you can membership since it’s already discounted. =]
All members:
click here to view the 32 image photoset of V & her family
click here to view the 4.5+ minute video of me doing intuitive movements & yoga from 2019
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 332 image photoset of me taken by Moss Von Faustenberg in Joshua Tree during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 119 image photoset of me taken by Ellin Aldana in JT
click here to view the 33 image photoset of me taken by Lady River in JT
click here to view 41 minutes of BTS video -
More self portraits from Chicago
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! Good morning! This week I’m sharing 2 self portrait sets from Chicago from several years ago, probably 2017… I think? 2016? 2017? I think 2017. Yeah I keep finding these that I forgot that I had so…. enjoy! They’re from 2 different airbnbs, like some of the ones I already shared. One of them is from the first airbnb that I stayed in that had cool furniture. There was this orange chair that I was like “I want to take pictures with this” and the other set is me with plants that were in the other airbnb that I stayed in. So this is from the same trip, from 2 different airbnbs.
The video I’m sharing this week was a random naked outdoor video that I took at the beginning of quarantine, the beginning of all the covid stuff. It was maybe March or April or May… maybe June. I didn’t look at the date that I took it. I randomly was like “I feel like hanging out naked outside” and why not make a video? So that’s what this is, there’s no caption, not really much sound, it’s just me doing my naked thing around the yard, so that one you can enjoy too.
The first look members, I have another self portrait set from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. This photoset is one of the first photosets that I took in Nevada, so we’re actually out of Utah for this one, we’re in Nevada. It was so beautiful, the colors there were so intense and just amazing, so self portrait set and behind the scenes from me in Nevada. I hope you like it. I don’t think it was that set, but it was another set from that same day. I was in Nevada, I was in a park and someone came up while I was shooting and I frantically got dressed. You’ll see it in the video, it’s not in this one, it’s in one that I’ll be sharing soon I think, maybe I shouldn’t tell this story, maybe I’ll save it for when I actually share it.
Anyway, this weekend, today is not this weekend yet when I’m recording this, but when you see this on Saturday morning, you still have a couple hours to sign up for the Erotic Art event that I’m putting on with Lior and Roarie and SPECIAL GUEST Marcus! So excited! So we’re talking about erotic art. I’m very excited, I’m also pretty nervous because it’s going to be a very vulnerable and uncomfortable conversation for me to have, but I’m still looking forward to it because I think there’s going to be a lot of really valuable information that everyone’s going to share and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s perspective and sharing mine (which is vulnerable and scary). If you’d like to join me, it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE, I’ll put the link in the caption below. You can sign up, it’s free, it’ll be at 1pm eastern Saturday the 21st, which is the day that I am releasing this! So you have a couple of hours from me sharing this post til the event happens, so CLICK AND REGISTER ASAP so that you can join us for FREE! Haha I rhymed. Yeah I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be amazing. We have already done (as of the time I’m recording this), we’ve already done 2 of the livestreams on the Going Beyond the Lens instagram account. I will also link that below. If you want to watch the livestreams where we give a sneak preview about what we’re going to be talking about during the event. Go watch those, most of them are around 20 minutes ish long. Today is technically Wednesday, I’m recording this a little early because I have a lot of stuff going on this week. Today is technically Wednesday, and the first 2 lives happened already so you can already go watch those. I mean by the time you watch this, the one on Friday that I’m doing with Roarie will already have also happened… but um yeah I’m excited! Please join! We would love to have you be a part of the conversation. There’s probably not going to be any time left to submit an image, but I hope there have been a lot of people that submitted images to this event so that we can share your work also. So we’re probably going to be promoting the image sharing a lot on the instagrams.
CLICK HERE FOR FREE REGISTRATION TO THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE FOR A LAST MINUTE SUBMISSION OF YOUR EROTIC ART TO BE SHARED AT THE EVENT
Yeah I’m excited. I love you! Thank you for being here! That’s all I have to say today. I just think yall are wonderful and amazing and I’m glad that you’re here on my website and you mean the world to me. Love you, bye!
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset with an orange chair from a trip to Chicago in 2017
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset with plants from that same Chicago trip
click here to view the 6 minute video of me hanging out nude in my back yard during quarantine
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 30 image self portrait photoset in the Nevada desert (Sixth Sister)
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
———-
I’ve been saving this set for a bit because I love it so much. Sometimes I want to hold onto things a little while, I enjoy having solitary time with them before other eyes have a chance to see.
I am close with my sister Gemini, in both age (18 months apart) and relationship (best friends). We don’t get to see each other as much since AD & I moved to a place about 45 minutes away from her and my parents. We used to be 15-20 minutes away. She has gone through a lot in her life in a way that I’ve been fortunate enough to never experience. She is strong, courageous, intuitive, genuine, complicated, unique, and oh so beautiful. I’m lucky to know her, and blessed to call her my sister. <3
We took these self portraits together when we were in San Antonio in March. I love creating with her!
Gemini has been considering starting her own Patreon, I’ll let you know when she has it up and running! She has a kinky side that will definitely show up on her page. You already know this if you follow her on IG, she recently posted some waxplay photos and she loves being an adorable fox (yeah, complete with ears and tail!).
—————————–
Since this is a Gemini appreciation post, I’m sharing a video of her foxing around in two futos. It’s fun to practice shibari on her and she loves it. She’s super cute walking around on her knees, especially when she loses her balance hehehe.
And, just because I feel like it, I’m sharing a backyard yoga timelapse video too! =D
All members have access to this complete 90 image photoset by clicking here, the backyard yoga timelapse video by clicking here, and the videos of Gemini foxing around in futos by clicking here.
-
Three totally different photosets
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Um so this week I have a bunch of random things to share with you to be honest. I have 3 different small photosets that I’m sharing. One is me modeling for a photographer, Muzse Photography at a studio from like several years ago. Another photoset is me posing with my friend Hannah Elizabeth for Antisocialdisposition, that’s a small photoset and it’s also from a few years ago, and then I have a 3 image photoset also that I took of my friends Marianna Lane and Lauren. This was also taken several years ago. I have other photos of Marianna Lane and Lauren separately, but these are the photos where they pose together so it’s a very small set. I’m sharing a video of me hanging out naked cooking and dancing, because why not? First Look people, I have 2 photosets from Joshua Tree that are self portrait sets that I took, that I’ll be sharing with first look, and that’s what I’m sharing this week.
When this goes live it will be Halloween and it will be a full moon, the second full moon of the month, we had a full moon at the beginning of the month and we have another full moon on Halloween which is going to be the day this comes out. The energy right now that exists in the world that is in this time, for me anyway, is heavier and more difficult and I’m doing my best. I hope you are too. I hear my mom making popcorn in the background.
This morning here it’s been really windy and rainy, but the sun just came out and I guess it’s done being rainy for the day, maybe? I don’t have much to share this week because I don’t have much new going on other than personal stuff that I want to keep personal. I keep feeling unsure of what I want to do with my website, like I want my website to be a place where people can get inspiration, where people can feel like they’re not alone, where people can maybe learn something or help heal themselves in some way, that’s what I want my website to be. At this point I don’t quite feel like that’s how it exists yet, and I want to make shifts to move in that direction, I’m just not exactly sure what that is yet. I am continually figuring it out, you know, that’s all I can really do.
So yeah um… I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for being here. Everybody that is a member of my website is like…. yall are my heroes and I wouldn’t be able to do it without you and I appreciate you so much and I’m very excited to continue sharing… something with you, whatever that is. I hope you have a good day, a good week. I hope we all survive this full moon, I think we will, it’s going to be hard I think, but I think we’ll survive it. We’ve survived everything that’s happened so far. I love you, bye <3
me and Hannah Elizabeth taken by Antisocialdisposition
Marianna Lane & Lauren
All members:
click here to view the 21 image complete photoset taken by Muzse Photography
click here to view the 7 image complete photoset of me and Hannah Elizabeth taken by Antisocialdisposition
click here to view the 3 image complete photoset of Marianna Lane & Lauren
click here to view a 20 minute video of me nude cooking and dancing
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset of me by the pool in Joshua Tree during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 20 image complete self portrait photoset of me at sunset in Joshua Tree -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 8th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
———-
I’ve been up and down emotionally a lot lately (probably because I’m coming up on my period) so the other day I took a bath for some self care time and to release negativity. Anything you do for yourself and for your happiness is always wonderful, but when you can include ritual that’s even better (in my opinion)! I wanted to share this with you guys because it helps me feel 1000x better after a really shitty day.
Self care bathtime ritual:
- Set aside at least 30 minutes to an hour for yourself when you won’t be disturbed
- Gather anything you would like with you while you’re in the bath: candles, incense, crystals, soft meditative music, a glass of water/tea, a good book
- Draw your bath. If you have them, put some some epsom salts and essential oils in (lavender is great for relaxation!), or a bath bomb, flower petals, or bubble bath
- If applicable, light your candles and/or incense, arrange your crystals, place your glass of water/tea and book within arms reach of where you’ll be in the tub
- Get in and relax for at least 10-15 minutes either doing nothing, leisurely reading, or meditating. For meditating, I like to lay all the way in the water so that everything but my face is submerged and listen to my heartbeat underwater. I take deep breaths in rhythm with my heartbeat, keeping each inhale and exhale the same number of beats and trying to lengthen my breaths. Inhaling counting 5 heartbeats, exhaling counting 5 heartbeats. Inhaling counting 6 or 7 (or more) heartbeats, exhaling counting the same number of heartbeats. If I want to meditate with my crystals I pick one up and look at every part of it, noticing the colors, textures, the way it feels in my hand, the weight of it, if it reflects anything, or seeing if there are any rainbows inside. I’ll do this with each one in turn, seeing how they make me feel and letting my mind become quiet as I focus on my senses of vision and touch.
- Once you’re in a calm relaxed state, either happy and content (or at least neutral), think of things you would like to release and let go of. What would you like to cleanse from your life?
- Cup your hands together so they create a bowl shape and use your hands to bring water to your face. Run your hands from your face, up past your temples, up over and down the back of your head, down your shoulders, chest, and thighs.
- Say to yourself either out loud or in your mind (I prefer to say it out loud because it’s more powerful) “I release *insert that which you would like to let go of* from my life. I allow this water to cleanse me of that which no longer serves me.”
- Cleanse yourself this way as many times as you want or need to, or for however many things you’d like to release. Examples of things I cleanse myself of: negativity, self-doubt, comparing myself to others
- I suggest meditating after cleansing yourself, a lovingkindness meditation would be a wonderful meditation to start with.
- When you are ready to get out, unplug the drain but stay in the bath. As the water drains, visualize all of that which you want to release and let go of going down the drain with the water. Watch as all negativity, self-doubt, and comparison disappear down the drain.
——————————————————————
I’ve added 2 videos showing a couple of the crystal grids I’ve used for bathtime rituals. I’ve also added 17 fun boomerangs I took after a recent bath… lots of booty boomerangs! Make sure to check those out. =]
All members have access to this complete 27 image film photoset by clicking here, the 20 image digital photoset by clicking here, the 22 image Instax nudes set from an NC mountain trip by clicking here, bathtime crystal grids videos by clicking here, and post bath boomerangs by clicking here.