I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3


    Happy weekend! From last weekend’s poll it looks like y’all are most interested in meditation, mantras, and positive affirmations. That’s exciting for me because these are some of the things I already know a lot about! Other topics (like Reiki and numerology) I am very interested in and will have to do more research and reading to learn it so that you can learn with me!

    I lumped together meditation, mantras, and positive affirmations in the poll because they can all go hand-in-hand (but don’t necessarily have to). As an introduction I’ll give you the dictionary definitions:

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of meditation:
    -to engage in contemplation or reflection
    -to engage in mental exercise (as concentration on one’s breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness
    -to focus one’s thoughts on :  reflect on or ponder over
    -to plan or project in the mind

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of mantra: a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating / a word or phrase that is repeated often or that expresses someone’s basic beliefs

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of affirmation: a solemn and often public declaration of the truth or existence of something.

    You can tell that they work well together already, can’t you? Mantras and positive affirmations can easily be integrated into meditation but can be used on their own as well. I’ll share some of my mantras and positive affirmations with you later on in another post. But first! I want to talk about meditation.

    I’ve taken meditation classes, my mom teaches meditation, and I do a type of meditation daily while I’m driving to and from work (yes, while driving safely!). I want to spend more time in deeper meditation than what I currently do but it’s hard to make the time to do it. I need to remind myself that I don’t need 30 minutes or an hour set aside every day for meditation, 5 or 10 minutes is also just as good, and is certainly better than nothing. My mom says that if you can’t find 5 minutes in a day to meditate, then you really need an hour. Meditation is cumulative, every time you do it adds to your total time in meditation and the more you do it, even if it’s just 5 minutes a day, the easier it is to get into a meditative state.

    There are hundreds and thousands and probably millions of different ways to meditate. I know that when most people think of meditation they think of the classic sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed and holding your hands just right type of meditation. Yes, that is one way to meditate, but what if you’re someone who has bad hips or knees or a bad back? That would not be comfortable at all, and if you’re in pain or uncomfortable then you’re not meditating, you’re thinking “when do I get to move so that this doesn’t hurt anymore?” Meditation can be done sitting on the floor, sitting on a chair, laying down, standing up, walking, driving, doing dishes, whatever you can do while clearing your mind or focusing your mind on only one thing. Obviously if you’re going to be meditating while driving (like I do on the way to and from work) it won’t be as deep of a meditation because you still have to pay attention to the road and all of your surroundings. There is a way to drive safely while “auto-piloting” and focusing your mind and thoughts. I want you to know that if one meditation doesn’t work for you, don’t worry, that doesn’t mean that you can’t meditate, that just means you should just try something else next time.

    Basics of meditation:

    -get comfortable (but not TOO comfortable, you don’t want to fall asleep, unless you really need sleep then go ahead and take a nap and meditate later)
    -focus on your breathing
    -clear your mind, focus on one thing
    -if a thought comes, acknowledge it and let it go

    You may have to experiment to see what works best for you. Do you like having incense? Background music? Candles? Do you like creating a crystal grid and sitting in the middle of it? Do you like meditating sitting on a cushion on the floor, sitting on a chair, or laying down? Do you meditate better in the morning, afternoon or evening? Do you like setting a timer so you don’t have to worry about what time it is or how long you’ve been meditating? Do you like movement in your meditation, such as lightly swaying back and forth, toe-tapping, or walking? Do you like the simplest meditation where you just focus on your breath, or do you prefer using a mantra, or do you do best with a guided meditation? What works well for one person might not work at all for someone else. Experiment to find what works best for YOU.

    There are some great meditation apps that have soothing music, timers, and even guided meditations. One I’ve tried and liked is “Insight Timer.”

    I will share more meditations with you in another blog post, but let’s start out with a basic meditation where you focus on your breath. Read the following paragraph and then hold the questions and suggestions in your mind while you meditate for at least five minutes.  Maybe set a timer so that you don’t have to look at the clock.

    Find a comfortable seat. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose and let it all out through your mouth with a sigh. Continue breathing deeply through your nose. Feel your breath in your lungs, your belly, your nostrils. Feel that the air is cool when you breathe it in and how it’s warmer when you breathe it out. Listen to how your breath sounds. Can you hear/feel your heartbeat? Can you make your inhales the same length as your exhales? Can you make each breath longer? Imagine the air as a color coming into your nostrils, swirling as it reaches your lungs, and imagine it dissipating as you breathe it out. If a thought comes to you, acknowledge it and let it go. Your thoughts will still be there waiting for you when you’re finished. Do you feel more calm and relaxed?

    Let me know if you’re able to try this breathing meditation, I’d love to hear how you feel about it! Have you meditated before now? Did you like it? Why or why not?

    Would you like it if I made some guided meditation videos?

    And now for some self portraits! There are also 2 new aerial silks videos! I’m honestly a little embarrassed at how weak I’ve become since I got wrist drop at the end of May (not from doing silks) and haven’t been able to go back regularly until now. BUT! I’m sure my muscle memory will help a lot and since I’ve built the muscle and strength before I know I can do it again. I’ll just not look as cool doing silks for a little while until I get back into shape. It shouldn’t take way too long though because I’m going at least twice a week again! Yay! <3

    All members have access to this complete 80 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.


    I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 13th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3


    Happy Friday the 13th! Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events is live on Netflix today, aren’t you excited! I know what I’m doing after I finish this blog post…. hehe.

    I had an epiphany today that I should have had a long time ago BUT at least I had it, right? I plan on looking at social media in a different way, through a different lens, from a new perspective. I will start using it as a tool for learning instead of it being a giant time waster. I’m totally guilty of scrolling, but I want my scrolling to lead me to more knowledge instead of just more photos of the same thing and more people complaining about stuff. I am going to take the time to sift through all of the people I follow and only follow those who share knowledge about things I’m interested in and who post content that inspires me. I want quality, not quantity. I plan on making a calendar of topics that I want to research for a week or two (or more, depending on the topic), and have that topic be “in the spotlight” for that timeframe. When I’m on social media I will only look for and at information about whatever the current topic is. Once I feel like I know enough about it I will share my knowledge with you! Then I’ll start on the next topic. =]

    I just posted a poll to see what y’all think is more interesting, please go check it out and answer! I would love to know what you think. I will use the results of the poll to decide what to learn about first!

    Here are two new self portrait sets for you! Hope you enjoy them! <3

    All members have access to this complete 21 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.

    All members have access to this complete 73 image self portrait photoset on a NOLA balcony by clicking here.


    I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 1st 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3


    First post of 2017! Thanks for sticking around, it means so much to me!

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I would like to go with Patreon and what changes I can make to expand my creativity and my knowledge of the metaphysical and share as much of it as possible with you.

    I’m still mulling over some ideas but would love to hear your input! Would you be interested in different kinds of rewards? Postcard sets, sticker sets, ask me anything videos once a month, monthly one on one Skype hangouts? Please let me know your thoughts! I’m all ears. =]

     And because I love lists…  Intentions for this year:

    More traveling
    More artistic collaborations
    Learning more about everything metaphysical
    Go back to aerial silks
    Spend more time creating and less time on the computer
    Save up as much money as possible and buy a van before the end of the year (to build it into a campervan next year!)

    What are your intentions for this year?

    TODAY (April 7 2020) is a full moon, so here’s a full moon ritual I shared on my patreon back in January 2017!

    ::Full moon ritual::

    On the night of the full moon (or as close to it as you can get), think about what you would like to end, to get rid of, to let go, to release. What no longer serves you? What is weighing you down? What is in excess that you need to shake off in order to be lighter (not only physically lighter, but emotionally & spiritually)? Write down all of those things that you want to end. Make a list, write a letter, stream of consciousness, word vomit on a piece of paper, a napkin, the back of an envelope, whatever you have. Get a lighter or matches or whatever you want to use to create a fire. Take your paper/napkin/envelope and your lighter/matches outside (if there’s no fire ban in your area, please be safe, no forest fires!). Think about all those things you want to end, to let go of, to release. Light your list of all of those things and while it burns, imagine them ending, leaving, drifting away with the tiny pieces of paper that scorch and burn and disappear. Take a deep breath and let it out, all the way out. Feel yourself become lighter as those things that no longer serve you float away into the dark sky to never return.

    All members have access to this complete 104 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.


    I originally wrote this for Patreon on December 2nd 2016. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3


    Early post this week because WE’RE MOVING THIS WEEKEND!!! I’m so ready for this big change and can’t wait to start creating in our new place. We will be renting a couple of rooms from a good friend of ours in her nice big house built in 1940. We’re going to have our first roommate! She’s super awesome and I’m stoked to get to see her all the time. We’re going to be hippies together: composting, planting an herb garden, learning more about crystals and herbs and essential oils, hopefully even learning some witchcraft together. I’m also dreaming about hanging aerial silks from the big tree in the back yard!

    I was going through some old photos the other day and found the first nude self portrait set I ever took with Antisocialdisposition from way back in February 2010! We look like babies! We were both over 18, don’t worry, we weren’t ACTUALLY babies. I thought I would share this nostalgic set here with y’all.

    We took these in my childhood bedroom at my parents house. We had been dating for a little over a year and I think that even then you can tell how close we are and how much love we have between us. In December we’ll have been together for 8 years. We moved in together about 5 years ago and have been married for over 3 years now. Time flies. I’m so excited to grow old with him. <3

    (EDIT: Little did I know that in March 2019, after over 10 years together, we would be having the divorce conversation, getting legally separated in April, and he would be moving to another state in May… but that’s a story for another time. It was amicable and we are still friends.)

    This week I also wanted to share another set from our time in New Orleans. I’m finally getting through a bunch of them, I took a huge amount of photos while we were there. The Airbnb we stayed at was super cute and had the best wood floors and an awesome staircase! I just had to take a ton of photos with those stairs!

    All members have access to this complete 21 image self portrait set with AD by clicking here.

    All members have access to this complete 71 image self portrait set by clicking here.


    I originally wrote this for Patreon on November 12th 2016. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3


    Last weekend Antisocialdisposition and I went to New Orleans. We left at around 8pm on Thursday and drove through the night, trading driving and sleeping when one or the other of us got too tired. Arriving at around 7:30am, we immediately went and got some breakfast, then headed to City Park to hang out. Oh my gosh I loved City Park and really want to go back and explore it more! There are so many huge live oaks just begging to be climbed and hugged and appreciated. Of course the first thing I did was climb on one, sitting on one of the long, low branches. We had a few hours to kill until we could check into our Airbnb so we walked around for a while. It made me so happy to see the big patches of wildflowers they have near the entrance! City Park backs up to the New Orleans Museum of Art and they have a free sculpture garden so of course we checked that out too. I’ve uploaded some videos and photos of some of the artwork we really liked.

    As soon as we were able to, we checked into our Airbnb and showered, it’s surprisingly hot in New Orleans in early November! I was super happy with the Airbnb we found, it was really private and comfy and nice, I would definitely recommend staying there and would love to stay there again. We went for lunch at Seed, which is a super yummy vegan place, and then walked to the French Quarter to meet up with some friends. We hung out with them for a bit and then I went off on my own to explore Bourbon Street. This was a Friday night and there were so many people everywhere! Most of them were drunk or on their way to being drunk. It’s so weird to me that in the city of New Orleans you can drink 24/7, wherever you want. Outside the city you would get in trouble for drinking on the side of the street but I guess they let people drink all over the place in the city because it’s one of the reasons so many tourists visit.

    I people watched, went to a few stores (they have a Lush store! I had to get a couple of bath bombs), watched some street performers, and I even spent a bit of time in a VooDoo shop. They had some really great books about crystals and magic and tarot, a small selection of herbs, lots of talismans and dolls, and a lot of magic kits. I’m fascinated by so much of this so of course I spent a while in there just milling around looking at everything. I bought a book called Circle of Eight by Jane Meredith that’s about creating magic in your local area, I’m about 80 pages in and really enjoying it. I plan to start having circle with some family and close friends to incorporate some of the things I’m learning into my life and practice. I’m interested in so many metaphysical things I feel like I’m kinda all over the place and know a tiny bit about a bunch of different topics. I want to dive into one particular thing to have a more in depth understanding of whatever that one thing is but it’s so hard to choose what that thing will be! I guess I’ll let myself explore a little bit of everything and let my interests organically point me in the direction of whatever it is I’m meant to know more about.

    On Saturday I spent the morning modeling for a super nice photographer, Mysa Photography, then spent the rest of the day walking around New Orleans, looking at all the pretty houses and then going back to our Airbnb to take five HUGE self portrait sets. I haven’t been able to go through all of them yet but the first one is up in the galleries and a few of my favorites are below!

    We spent all day on Sunday driving back home. Blegh. That was a super long drive, especially since neither of us wanted to go back to work/school on Monday. I’m hoping we can go back to New Orleans again sometime soon, and spend more time there next time! And next time I want to go to a cemetery!

    Have you been to New Orleans? What was your favorite part about it? Where should I go next time I visit?

    All members have access to this complete 82 image self portrait set by clicking here.