CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

Hi friends, okay so this week I’m sharing a photoset with you that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019. This is a self portrait set that I took, this is also… I think recently, when did I do it, at the beginning of January I shared a photoset from the same place. This photoset is a little more closer up than that one was, and it’s more of me in this little private canyon that I had basically right behind my camping area which was incredible and wonderful and I super loved it and I spent a lot of time back there when I was staying there, which wasn’t very long, but most of the time I was there I was in this little canyon. I have several other photosets from the same place that I will be sharing in the future, but for now you have this photoset and the behind the scenes video to enjoy.

First look people I have some photos to share with you and BTS video of when I was posing for my friend Dawn Iler. You probably also know of her… actually… THEY. Dawn recently started using they/them pronouns so, excuse my error, they took photos of me back… I think it was the winter? November, December of 2019. They were visiting here on their way to… I think they were going to Texas. They live in NY State and they were traveling to Texas so they stopped by and stayed with me for a couple days on their way down there. We photographed each other which was wonderful. I don’t think I shared the photos I took of them with yall yet, but these are the photos they took of me. We took them in my living room, in like a makeshift “studio”. You’ll see what I mean when you see the video because it’s basically like, the black blanket that I keep on my bed, I’m looking around because it’s right here. Underneath my butt, I’m sitting on it. My big black blanket that I keep on my bed, it’s that blanket draped over the back of the couch, which is my “studio” in front of the big window in the living room so the light’s really nice. So these are the photos Dawn took of me.

For more information about my website: I have made some decisions, not 100% done with my decisions but I have decided to continue doing these weekly like I’ve been doing for years, doing these videos and talking to you and stuff, at least through mid-February. I’m considering if I want to do through the end of February just to keep even months. Then starting in most likely March I will… I don’t know when I’ll mass-upload all of the things, but I’m probably also going to be doing away with the first look membership because I’m just gonna take everything that’s in first look, everything that’s in my backlog, and put them all available for everybody. Yeah this feels kinda scary. So I’m pretty sure that I’ll be doing that maybe early to mid March, in terms of my mass upload of my backlog. That’s going to take some time to do because it’s a lot of things. So I think I will do these weekly posts like I have been through the end of February. I have stuff planned through Feb 13th so I have a couple weeks left to plan, and then after that I’ll sometime in March do a mass upload of everything and update the directories and stuff. And then after that I will… probably not do weekly updates, because I’ll have already shared all of my backlog with you. Right now my thinking is I will do the weekly updates through the end of February. Sometime in March, depending on how long it takes me to get it done, mass upload everything from first look and my backlog so that everyone has access to all the things. Then I will not pressure myself to create things on a weekly basis because I have done that in the past and it… basically like the quality of my work is lower if I feel like “oh I have to do this. Oh it’s Friday and I want to have something for Saturday so let me just shoot something.” That to me that is not the kind of creative artistic process that brings me the ability to do good work. It’s more stressful and “oh let me do something so I have something for them” but that doesn’t feel good. So… I will create if I feel like it. Which, as you know, hasn’t been very much at all in the last like year and a half. But I literally have SO MUCH that you haven’t seen yet so it’ll be quite a while before you’ll be like “I want new things!” I’m not going to pressure myself to… sorry I’m picking a little scab that I have on my arm but it’s really annoying and I shouldn’t be doing it but… I did. So yeah this is pretty stressful and scary for me but I feel like I’m giving myself freedom by doing this. In 2020 I took like 4 or 5 photosets the whole year. So I don’t have an expectation of myself to create constantly, and I don’t want yall to have an expectation of new things from me constantly.

What I will do instead of sharing new photosets and stuff with you, I’ll be offering more online live video gathering type things when where we can hang out “in person” virtually, which I’m must more excited about than thinking about having to create more photosets. I don’t know the frequency of that yet, I’m probably going to start off with once a month to make sure that I don’t overdo myself because I’m already doing events through Going Beyond the Lens also. So basically members will have access to my archive, will be invited to members-only virtual hangouts, and I want to do more with, maybe more education kind of things, or “let’s learn things together” like I’ll tell you the kinds of things that I’m learning and you can share your personal experience with those things. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts and feelings about queerness, ecosexuality, non monogamy, gender, those kinds of things. So I’d really love to explore those more in depth. My tattoo is so itchy yall! I got my arm done recently and it’s just so itchy, it’s in the itchy stage and I’m trying really hard to not fuck with it.

So yeah, the plan is, to recap: things will continue as normal through February, and then starting in March, at some point in March, depending on how much time it takes me to do it, I will mass upload everything that’s in the backlog and in first look. This is pretty scary to think about, and then starting in March I’ll do monthly live virtual hangouts. I’ll probably have a topic for us to focus on so it’s not just like, sitting around just talking about random things. I feel better when there’s a focus, instead of just like “how was your day?” I fucking hate small talk yall, I hate it. I want to have a focus so that we can like… I feel like we’re learning together. So starting in March we’ll have virtual hangouts and uhm I’m going to try to make more free things. I don’t want to keep all of the cool and interesting things behind a paywall, so basically memberships are for people who want to help me continue to make free things for everyone, and also to have access to my archive because that’s a WHOLE LOT of photos and videos and just content in general. So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ll have it fleshed out with better plans in the future. I’m also planning on overhauling my website and making everything different than what it is currently. So also keep an eye out for that, I might do that March-ish? Maybe starting some of it in February? I don’t have a complete schedule for that yet because I’m still figuring out how I want my website to be set up.

But yeah… it’s pretty scary for me because it’s a big change. I’ve been doing basically the same thing for my website since like 2016 or 2017 so making a big change like this is scary and I’m just going to take the leap because I think I will truly be happier honestly, and less stressed, if I do it this way. I hope you’ll be along for the ride with me. I understand if you signed up for one thing and it’s changing and you no longer want to be here which I understand, no hard feelings. If you want to help support me, pay my bills, help me share queer info with other people for free, it would mean a whole lot. A whole whole lot. It already means a lot that you’re here already. Also I’m probably going to redo my art wall in my room at some point because I’m kinda tired of looking at white naked bodies all the time. Like there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not bad, I super love naked bodies. I don’t want my work to focus on like.. nude photography. To me, nude photography is super amazing and a big part of my life, but I don’t see it being quite as big of a part of my life in the future, because I want to expand into more purpose and intention and I think that by changing the way that I’m doing things will help me to create that intention and purpose. This is a super long video! Appreciate you watching and listening or reading or whatever you’re doing. Yeah I’m excited and nervous about what is coming. If you have any ideas, questions, concerns, comments, I would love to hear them, please reach out. Comment on this post or email me or whatever way you wanna contact me. Yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts. Ok. I’m done. I love you. Goodbye.

All members:
click here to view the 52 image self portrait photoset in Utah during my cross country road trip in summer 2019
click here to view the 5.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every month

First Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 40 image film photoset of me taken by Dawn Iler (aka coconutdreamin)
click here to view 20+ minutes of BTS video

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