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Tattoo Project with Doug Pierce!
Doug Pierce and I got together via zoom recently so that he could interview me about my tattoos! We had a great conversation and got into a lot of the nuances about my most recent tattoo project, so if you’re curious we have a bunch of videos for you to watch! I also took self portraits to document where I am with my tattoo so far so I’ve shared some of those below! Click through to the galleries to see all of the images. The interview was about an hour long and I’ve separated it into 14 shorter clips. It would be too many to embed in this blog post, so I’m gonna link to them instead! CLICK HERE TO WATCH ALL THE INTERVIEW CLIPS
Or if you’re looking for answers to certain questions (individual clips):
– Info about my original back piece tattoo
– How Doug’s use of tattoos (si’gilyn) in his stories impacts how I feel about tattoos
– What was the first tattoo I received and how did I know I wanted it?
– Are most tattoos painful?
– Is there something about the pain that enhances the experience? How do I manage the pain?
– Is getting tattooed a spiritual experience for me?
– What’s the general inspiration for this massive tattoo project?
– Were my ecosexual and/or agender identities a factor in the overall design of this tattoo?
– How does this tattoo incorporate or cover up prior tattoos and why?
– Why is the Poplar Tree in particular so important to me?
– Who are the individual creatures in the tattoo and what is their significance?
– What have I learned about myself in going through this process so far?
– What’s my tattoo healing process?
– Closing information + shout out to my tattoo artist
Click here to view the 20 image digital self portrait set
Click here to view the 22 image cell phone self portrait set
Click here to watch the BTS self portrait timelapse video in another window
Click here to respond to my survey + help me create content you want to see!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on December 9th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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My trip to Philly over the summer was ridiculously productive and I love it! I tend to have cycles of being really creative and productive and then I go through stretches of time when I barely create at all. I’ve been so busy with my new(ish) job at the camera store, going to aerial silks classes twice a week, modeling for figure drawing sessions, spending time at home with Antisocialdisposition, and visiting family over the holidays that I’ve only had a handful of shoots over the past few months. I’ve not modeled much recently, I’ve mostly been photographing others. I’m working on allowing myself to follow my natural currents and cycles and so far I think it’s worked pretty well for me. I realize that I shouldn’t push myself so much to do things that I feel like I SHOULD do when I don’t really feel like doing them. If I just follow the natural flow of my life things tend to work out better. Sometimes it’s a struggle but I’m working on letting go, listening, and allowing. <3
I’m sharing three sets from two different shoots: when I photographed Tiffany Helms & Caitlin Michele in an abandoned building, and when DWL Photo and I found an awesome tunnel. I’ve posted several blogs with sets from my Philly trip already: photos I took of Vex Voir & Luna Dahlia, photos Tiffany Helms & Jeff Waters took of me, other sets taken by DWL Photo, and sets taken by Vinny Kim. I even have a few more sets to share, can you believe it?! I can’t wait to go on another adventure full of exploring new places and creating to my heart’s content!
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There’s now have a bts location video from my shoot with DWL Photo to watch, along with a 9.5 minute video of me doing yoga in my back yard over the summer (I miss warmth!!!) and a 8 minute timelapse video of me organizing my film (I took my shirt off halfway through haha).
All members have access to this complete 9 image photoset of Tiffany Helms by clicking here, the 8 image photoset of Caitlin Michele by clicking here, the 16 image photoset taken by DWL photo by clicking here, the bts location video from my shoot with DWL Photo by clicking here, the 9.5 minute video of me doing yoga in my back yard over the summer by clicking here, and a 8 minute timelapse video of me organizing my film by clicking here.
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MASS UPLOAD!!! + member’s only event scheduled
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! It’s been a while, or it feels like it has because I pre-recorded the last couple of vlogs I did on here, but HIII!! So it’s officially March, which means that the changes have been started for my website. I still have a lot of work to do in terms of redoing my website, but I’ve already done a mass upload, so everything that was in First Look is now available for everyone! Which is really exciting because it was literally a fuck ton of things. I haven’t even counted but it’s like, a LOT. I kinda wanna see if I can find how many things it is… um…. 55 photosets and let’s see how many videos… 34 video folders, which means that most of those have multiple videos in them. It’s a fuck ton of things, literally like so many things! Right now I’m only uploading the First Look stuff. I still have a backlog that’s not as much content as this but it’s still the backlog that no one has seen yet, that I’ll be uploading later this month. I just wanted to go ahead and get First Look in there for yall because it’s a whole lot and I love the content that’s in there and just excited to share it with you. It’s so much, it’s kindof overwhelming. I’m going to link the directories in this post, because I’m not going to link every single photoset and video because that would take forever and I just did that for the 34 video folders and the how many was it? 55 photosets, I’ve already done that for the directory. So I’ll link to the directories below, there’s a photo directory and a video directory, and from there you can find what you want to look at. I have everything listed, you just click it and see things like you usually do in the directory. I’m really excited, it’s so much, so much!
Let’s see, what else do I want to tell you? So this month also marks the beginning of our members only video hangout community education learning together, I don’t know what I want to call it yet, but video hangouts for us as members of my website, so excited! So I think I’ll be scheduling it for next Saturday the 13th, 1pm eastern. Very excited. It’ll be one hour of us hanging out and I think I’m going to have the topic as ecosexuality so we can have a whole conversation around that. I’ve already written down a lot of questions to ask yall that we can discuss together about ecosexuality. I’m going to go ahead and also link the zoom link invite thing down below. I’ll also resend that zoom link, I’m going to schedule a couple posts to remind yall that it’s next Saturday at 1pm and you gotta use the link to join so there’s that, I’m excited.
I’m hoping maybe I’ll be able to have my rebranding of my website, redoing my website, I’m hoping to have it done by April? Maybe? And then hopefully also in April I might start doing nude gatherings, virtual nude gatherings. Nude gatherings was what I was really gung ho set on doing and moving forward with at the end of 2019 after doing a couple in 2019 in person and then covid happened and you know the rest. So I’m excited to take nude gatherings to the virtual realm! We’re going to see how that goes. I think I might start doing those in April maybe? Hopefully? I’ll of course let you know. The virtual nude gatherings, the official ones that I don’t have any dates for yet, hoping to maybe start in April. Those will be available for the public to pay to join, and I’m also going to have a discount code that I will give to all of yall so you can get in for free. Those nude gatherings you’ll have to sign up via the eventbrite link eventually once I make the site, so that’s coming, I just wanted to give you a head’s up because I’m excited.
I do like doing these vlogs when I have things to tell you because I personally as a consumer of content really like to have a visual and audio thing to pay attention to instead of just reading so I like to offer that to yall so you have this and the transcript of this below so I’ll be doing that and uh…. *shrugs* anytime I have things to really talk to you about that are anything lengthy at all. If it’s short like “reminder! The member’s only gathering will be this day this time! Reminder!” If it’s that kind of thing I won’t do a video like this, but if it’s something like “hey let’s talk about something” I’ll probably do a video because I like to receive this kind of content so I hope that you also do.
What else do I want to say? I think that’s about it right now so… RECAP!
Lots and lots and lots of new content is now available for everyone to see, which is all of the First Look. The backlog that I have I’ll be uploading later this month, it’ll be part 2. It’s not as much as this, but this will take you a while to go through. Maybe I’ll do the backlog in April because this is just a lot. We’ll see. Either way I’ll let you know. Go enjoy the first look that is now… actually the first look folder no longer exists because it’s available for everybody now. I’ll be rebranding, redoing my website soon hopefully. I’ll start doing our members only events which will be once a month and the first one is next Saturday the 13th at 1pm eastern time and hopefully maybe April I’ll start doing virtual nude gatherings that yall will be able to access for free. So.. excited! I hope you’re excited too! I don’t know when I’ll be updating yall next, but here’s this. Yall have a LOT to look at. Okay, bye!!EDIT/ADDITION: It’s official, the member’s only event will be a VIRTUAL NUDE GATHERING (and we’ll discuss ecosexuality)!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! I’m stoked yall! In 2019 after facilitating 3 in-person nude gatherings I decided that they were the direction I wanted to go, they were the times that I LIVE for. We all know what happened in 2020. I’m so ready for the adventure + challenge of bringing these events online. So looking forward to seeing you there. <3
Enjoy these samples from the mass upload, there are 55 photosets + 34 video folders, this small sample doesn’t even scratch the surface!!!!!!
(Lior Allay double exposed with Bryce Canyon during the Backstage Pass event for GBTL)
(Leopold, Canischromatis, Anon, Anon, + me – self portrait during Creative Nude Gathering Aug 2019)
(self portrait on medium format film from the panoramic pinhole camera I made in college with my dad)
(self portrait with Mommy)
(Bainbridge Island with Jeff Waters + Tiffany Helms)
(self portrait at Quinn’s in Tacoma)
(self portrait in Joshua Tree)
(Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)
(Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)
(Joshua Tree with Ellin Aldana)
(Kara Perry photographs Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Wyoming + NC)
(Kara Perry photographs Tatyebar wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Yellowstone)
(Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin double exposed with Glacier National Park)
(me photographed by Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin)
(self portrait in Nevada)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Colorado)
(with Lior Allay in Pittsburgh)
(self portrait with Lior Allay + Jacs Fishburne in Columbus Ohio)
(with Lior Allay photographed by Jacs Fishburne)
(Nashville Tennessee with Bashing Bagpipes)
(Nashville Tennessee with Chris Widick)
(self portrait in North Carolina)
(self portrait in North Carolina)
(with Mike Tyger in an abandoned house in North Carolina)
(self portrait from 2010!!! BABY BUNNY! I was about 20 years old)
MEMBERS ONLY NUDE GATHERING SIGN UP FREE HERE
(password: BLMBR)
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Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I am doing this video a week in advance and prepping this week’s content a week in advance also because when this will be happening, when I usually would have been recording this and sharing it I will be in Durham with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. I wanted to do this early so that I could really focus on being present with Lior and Roarie while we’re in person together in Durham. I’m so excited. By the time this video comes out the event will already have happened, but if you missed it and didn’t get to sign up for the Backstage Pass event, I’m going to link below to all the information about it, because if you missed it, I’m not sure how, but just in case I’m going to put the link below. (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) If you missed the event, because this is going to be coming out on January 2nd and the event is December 30th. If you missed the event and you didn’t sign up and you’re like “oh nooo I really wanted to watch yall create together and I really wanted to see what questions you answered and I wanted to be a part of that and I totally forgot!” or whatever, you can donate $11 or more to me or Lior or Roarie or I can link our bigcartel shop below which is where you can donate, there’s a lot of different amounts you can donate, but if you donate $11 or more we will send you the recording! (CLICK HERE TO DONATE) So if you missed it and you’re kicking yourself for it, email me or something and I can get you set up. So yeah $11 or more and you can get the recording, yay!
Okay now back to website things. This week I’m sharing a photoset that I took in the summer of 2019 with Eva Luna and KH and this was outside of Portland Oregon. We went to a nude beach, which was amazing and probably my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland. There’s a lot of places I went and I can’t say that I had one particular favorite over the whole trip, actually maybe I can I have a couple of favorites, but… In terms of my time in Portland, my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland was this nude beach. I just love being places where it’s expected for you to be naked, who would have known haha. Places where it’s okay to be naked out in nature to me are super important and super my kind of places so yeah this was a very fun shoot. I met up with Eva and KH and we drove together to this nude beach and we hung out for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures and it was super fun. I did have an upsetting thing happen while we were there. So earlier in my road trip when I was in Joshua Tree I posed for Moss Von Faustenberg and he took several polaroids and he gave me 3 or 4 of them which I was super excited about because I love having tangible things and also the photos were really amazing. So these polaroids I had in my camera bag and when we were shooting we didn’t want to lug all of our stuff all around the beach the whole time, so we found a nice spot just in the woods right off of the beach. There was this little clearing and we put all our stuff there and kept an eye on it as much as we could. We didn’t keep an eye on our stuff well enough because someone went through our stuff and I…. guess, I don’t know, they must not have cared much about stealing cameras or phones or credit cards. They just moved our stuff around and the only thing they stole from me, they stole those polaroids, and I was very sad. But I was also very thankful that it wasn’t like my whole camera bag or my phone or keys or credit card or ID or all the things, I could have been so screwed. All they stole was… I had this tin, it was like a tin that chocolate came in from Switzerland, it was like swiss chocolate, used to be swiss chocolate, it was a tin that had swiss chocolate in it, it was the perfect size to keep polaroids in. I had the polaroids in it and this like crinkley rainbowey holographicy shiny clearish paper plasticky stuff that was really fun to put in front of the lens to get cool light and color and stuff. That film paper stuff and the polaroids were in that tin and that tin is the only thing that got stolen. I guess they really liked the nude polaroids and didn’t care about my camera and credit card? I’m very thankful that that’s all they stole but also I’m really sad because the only evidence I have of those polaroids is a really short video that I took of the polaroids. If you’re in the first look tier, the Nov 28th post that I did when I shared the like fuck ton of stuff that I was a part of in Joshua Tree, you can see that really short video that includes the polaroids in it, in that content. So that’s the only evidence of those polaroids that I have. I was supposed to have the physical polaroids that I was bringing home, but they didn’t make it. Somebody stole them when I was in Portland. I was really sad about that, but I was also very thankful that it wasn’t anything more crucial that they stole from me because I could have been really screwed. Those photos, these are the single exposures that I took of Eva and KH and also I’m sharing the BTS video from that shoot. I think they’re amazing photos I’m so excited.
For First look this week I’m sharing a self portrait photoset that I took with my mom and some behind the scenes video from that. The self portraits that I took with my mom we took them in this room, my bedroom. This was before I moved in here again so this room was empty and we took advantage of that space. I’m gonna turn this… just took photos in front of my curtain. Uh yeah so self portraits with my mom in here when there was nothing here and yay.
That’s my story for this week. I love you! Thank you so much for being here! It is because of you that I’m able to do any of this and that means the world to me that you enjoy my content and you care what I have to say in some capacity, that you support me in this adventure that is my self employment as an artist, even when I barely create anything anymore. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there are major changes coming to my website soon, I don’t exactly know what that is yet but I know more and more that that is coming up. Head’s up, things are changing, I don’t know what or when but it’s gonna happen at some point because I’m not totally happy with the way things are done on my website right now. Like, I have a system in place that works but it’s not as fulfilling and exciting and fun as I would like it to be, so I want to shift things around and I don’t know exactly what that is yet. You’ll know when I know.
I love you so much! Thank you for being here, it means so much to me and literally means that I can pay my bills so that means a lot, in this capitalist bullshit existence. Well the existence isn’t bullshit, it’s the capitalist stuff that’s bullshit but you know, I’m trying to live outside of capitalism in any way that I can, which is very hard, but we’re doing what we can here. I love you. *blows kiss* bye!
All members:
click here to view the 36 image photoset of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach in Oregon summer 2019
click here to view the 30.5+ minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 41 image self portrait photoset with Mommy at home soon before I moved back in (2019)
click here to view 21.5 minutes of BTS video -
Waterfall Introspection
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, welcome to another week of… my website. So this week I have a self portrait set that I took in 2018 on that first solo road trip that I went on, I talked about it… 2 weeks ago in the other waterfall self portrait set that I shared. I visited a whole bunch of waterfalls on this trip, it was like a long weekend, so this is a different waterfall and somehow after I took the photos and uploaded them to my smugmug, I forgot about this whole trip of self portraits that I took, somehow? So that’s why I’m sharing them now because I like somehow lost them / forgot about them after I took them and just never shared them. These photos I took I don’t even remember the name of the place that I was hiking. I probably could find it if I saw a map and looked back through some stuff. I hiked, this was in the mountains because that’s like my favorite place to be, I was hiking in the mountains near some waterfalls and I came upon this area that was a whole bunch of bare rock next to the river that had a little waterfall on it further up the river. I just hung out there for a long time and nobody really showed up for a long time so I was like “okay I feel safe being naked here” so I took some self portraits and then I got dressed and I think I was pulling oracle cards and journaling, and then a small family, like 2 or 3 person little group of adult and little children came by, and so I was like “okay so that’s perfect that I wasn’t naked when they showed up” because usually its people with kids that get annoyed or angry when people don’t have clothes on. So yeah that’s the photoset I’m sharing this week.
I have a video that has nothing to do with this photoset that I’m also sharing. This video I took.. I believe it was 2019, I’m not sure if it was before or after my cross country trip (EDIT: it was after). This was me when I lived at my sister’s house, hanging out in the living room in my sister’s house and listening to music and like, dancing and moving around and playing with the kittens… I call them shittens. Playing with shittens back when the cats that my sister has were actually kittens. They were so friggin cute. So this video is me just playing and dancing around and moving my body and playing with little kittens, so me and shittens, and dancing kindof, yoga ish, movement video.
First look people, I’m sharing more photos from Columbus Ohio. These are photos that Jacs Fishburne took of me and Lior Allay when we were traveling there, so these are I believe… all of the photos I am sharing with me and Lior and Jacs, which there are 3 photosets. I shared one of them last week, that was Lior’s photos of me and Jacs, this week it’s Jacs photos of me and Lior, and then next week I’ll be sharing… no I already shared those. The ones of Lior and Jacs that I took were the week before that. Next week I’ll be sharing something different. But yeah, so these are all from the same day and it was very fun. So first look is getting the photos and BTS videos of Jacs photographing me and Lior.
Speaking of Lior… if you didn’t already see it, I am going to be in Durham at the end of the month and I just got tested, I am negative, I got my result yesterday, covid negative, yay! I’m meeting up in person with Lior and Roarie and we are going to be brainstorming and dreaming up the future possibilities for Going Beyond the Lens and we are offering an event while we’re all together. We’re calling it Backstage Pass because you get a backstage pass to our shoot, we’re going to create together, the 3 of us, and the first half of the backstage pass event is gonna be the 3 of us answering all of your questions about shooting and how to communicate with the people you’re creating with, how to make sure everybody feels safe, how to make sure there’s consent, how to bounce ideas off of each other, all of these things, so I’m really excited because I have created with both of them, Lior and Roarie, but they have actually never met each other in person so this is going to be the first time that they’re creating together period, and this is the first time that we’re going to be all 3 creating together. I’m very excited because they’re both amazing people and they know each other now through all of the things we’ve been doing together, I just think that like, when you only know someone through the internet it’s different than when you actually get to meet them in person, so I’m very excited that we’re all going to be in person together and yeah I think I’m just super excited in general to be in person with them because it’s been a long time. We’re all getting tested, all self quarantining, being extra careful so that we make sure we’re not going to accidentally spread covid. Like I said I just got my covid test result back yesterday and I am covid negative, and I’m going to continue to like not leave my house until I go there basically. So yeah I’m excited.
Yeah I think that’s all I have to say today. Come and join us to be a part of the Backstage Pass event. I’ll put a link in the caption below. (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!) This is a fundraising event for Going Beyond the Lens because we would really like to maybe create a website or some kind of community forum or something. We need to change the way we’re doing things online a little bit, because right now we have stuff in a google drive and it’s almost full already. We need to make some plans in terms of infrastructure, and so we are fundraising through this event. Tickets are $11 and we also have an option if you’d like to donate an additional amount of money that is available also, which is also super really appreciated. We have a lot of really exciting dreams and plans for what we would really love to do with Going Beyond the Lens so we’re hoping that this event will help get us a little bit of the money that we need in order to make some of these exciting plans and updates and changes so that we can better serve the GBTL community. So if you’d like to watch us create together live, please join us, I’ll put the link below (CLICK HERE!!!!) It’s only $11, this is a once in a lifetime thing, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do this again for a while. I don’t want to say once in a lifetime because I assume we’ll be able to do something like this again at some point, but I have no idea when something like this will happen again. Also if you can’t make it, the event is on December 30th, it’s a Wednesday I believe, and it’s from 10am-1pm eastern time. If you cannot make it, every single person who signs up will be getting a recording of the whole event so if you can’t make it there’s no worries because you can watch it whenever. Yeah I’m just really excited, its going to be really fun, and it’ll basically be the first time I’ve created in months.
Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you soon! Mwah!
All members:
click here to view the 54 image self portrait photoset of me at an NC waterfall in 2018
click here to view the 5 minute video of me playing with kittens & moving my body
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 42 image photoset of me & Lior Allay taken by Jacs Fishburne in Columbus OH fall 2019
click here to view 13 minutes of BTS video -
Backstage Pass to a LIVE photoshoot
Join GBTL founders behind the scenes during a photoshoot, LIVE
- How to communicate with other artists before/during/after creating together?
- How to ensure the comfort of the models you work with?
- How to set the environment/mood for a photoshoot?
- What the creation process looks like for Bunny, Lior and Roarie?
Then you’re in luck! For the first time ever, Bunny, Lior, and Roarie will be gathering together IN PERSON to dream up the future of GBTL and to CREATE TOGETHER! We are inviting you into our creative practice through this workshop in which we will discuss the bullet points above and then demonstrate during an actual photoshoot, LIVE!
The itinerary: About 1.5 hours of discussion and answering questions followed by 1.5 hours of creating together.
If you have questions for us, please submit them while signing up. This ensures we will be able to answer them in the beginning portion of the event.
The event will be held on FreeConferenceCall. Please sign up online or download the app before the event starts.
If you can’t join live for any reason, everyone who registers will receive the recording of the event.
This is a fundraising event for the future of GBTL. We are looking forward to revealing what that future will look like soon!
Thank you for your time and energy,
Bunny, Lior, & Roarie
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Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning friends. I’m trying to not be too distracted. I started my period this morning so I’m in pain but I wanted to continue to, you know, be consistent with yall. *sigh* It’s hard to focus when your uterus is trying to turn itself inside out. So this week I’m sharing another self portrait set that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019 and the behind the scenes video and first look is getting another self portrait set from Utah in 2019 and the BTS video. The first look BTS video makes me laugh because when I was taking these self portraits I was on this really long dirt road outside of Grand Staircase Escalante and I thought I was the only one there but there were like, I think 2 instances where a car drove by and I had to grab my camera and hide behind my van. So you get to see that happening and that’s kinda funny of me rushing “oh shit I gotta hide!” so yeah that’s a thing. That’s for first look people. The BTS this week for everybody isn’t as exciting, I mean it IS exciting because you get to see me taking self portraits, but nobody catches me which is good.
Yeah so this morning I’m in pain because I’m menstruating and the last maybe year or so I’ve been having menstrual pain the first day of my period, which didn’t really happen before when I had an IUD, but since I’ve taken that out, around a year ago now, my period has changed a little bit. Getting to know my body without any medical intervention things has been good, but yeah painful. I woke up at like 6:30 this morning in pain and I haven’t really been able to go back to sleep so I figured I might as well do this. The… I don’t really have much else to say about the photosets, I really love them, I hope you do too. I want to go back to Utah. Hopefully later this week I’ll be going to the mountains by myself, depending on how my period goes and if I think it’s safe to be out there sleeping in my van for a couple of days, because I do still want to like, use public restrooms and things because that’s slightly more comfortable when you’re on your period, to use a public restroom than to use a bush.
It’s hard to concentrate. Uhm oh hi squirrely. Oh I realized that I’m shadowbanned on instagram which makes me angry and I just switched to a creator profile because the analytics and stuff are cool but I feel like that’s probably part of why I got shadowbanned, and also because I had a photo that was deleted because it “violates community guidelines” except it DOESN’T, there’s no nipple or anything, you just see a little bit of underboob and it’s not the highlight of the photo, so I just am… I feel like I dislike instagram more every day but sadly that’s where most of the people I want to follow and see what they’re doing and meet with are existing online so it’s complicated. I have a very much love hate relationship with instagram. I just wish instagram was run by like, queer anarchists or something you know, then everything would be better, but sadly IG is run by cis white men that have lots of money so we know how that goes. I really wanted to be slightly more interesting this week but my period is fogging my brain and I don’t have much else to say. I got my haircut, I like having it really short like this because it feels really good to rub it.
I do want to tell you about the next Going Beyond the Lens event that’s coming up that I’m excited about. It’s going to be on Sep… oop September, I’m not going back in time. It’s going to be on November 21st which is a Saturday, at 1pm eastern and we are going to be discussing erotic art! If you’ve read my last few Saturday posts you know that I don’t want sexual attention so this erotic art event is uncomfortable for me and feels vulnerable but I’m basically going to be like the asexual representation at this event, so you’ll get a well-rounded conversation about erotic art. I’m excited and nervous about it, I think it’s going to be a good one. If you’d like to join us we have a special guest that’s going to be a part of it and I’m really excited. So I’ll put the link in the caption of this video so you can join us. It’s a free event, FREE, free free free, you don’t have to pay anything to join, and it’s going to be a live group video call for everybody that comes. I’m really excited, these events usually last around 3 hours. They’re always really fun and I always get a lot out of them, so while I’m kindof nervous talking about erotic art and it feels vulnerable to me, I’m still excited because I think we’re all going to learn some cool things. I’m also really excited to see what people submit for their erotic art, because you know, I always love seeing everybody else’s work. If you have erotic art you’d like to share with us for this event, there’s a link for that too. I’ll put that in the caption so you can submit your art if you want.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE EROTIC ART EVENT
CLICK HERE TO SUBMIT YOUR EROTIC ARTI think that’s all I have to say, I love you so much, thank you for being here with me every week. I will continue to be here with you every week, at whatever capacity is possible, even if it’s like today and I’m kinda out of it because I’m in pain. Y’all are important to me so I want to continue to be consistent and sometimes that means I’m partially present and other times that means I’m very present. Today I’m partially present because my uterus is screaming at me. I love being on my period, once the pain goes away on the first day it’s a great time. I like the cycle of my body and how it usually follows the full moon and how it connects me to myself so I really like that. Also speaking of menstruation and censorship, I have a video on Youtube about why I love menstruating as an agender person and the cover photo I have for it was a photo of me that my friend Portraitmami took. It’s basically me in white underwear with blood on them and blood on my leg. You can’t see any genitalia, it’s just underwear with period blood on it but youtube decided that that was either violent or nude, even though it’s neither of those things, but youtube decided to delete my cover photo for that video because it said youtube doesn’t like seeing menstrual blood even though I think it’s awesome. More annoyance at censorship and bullshit online platforms that I feel like are also necessary because everybody is using them. So this is me ranting about bullshit censorship and bullshit social media things but… I digress. Okay yeah that’s all I have for this week. This is already a longer video than I usually make. Yeah I just wanted to say hi and I love you and I’m so glad that you’re here and literally youre the reason I’m able to pay rent and buy myself food so that means a lot. I also really like speaking to yall and seeing the things you’re interested in that I’m doing and I love hearing feedback so yeah the conversations that I’ve had with yall have been really wonderful and I’d like to continue that. Please comment on this post or send me an email or whatever feels best for you. I’m open to chatting about the things that you like and the things you’re inspired by and any questions you have.
Oh yeah how could I forget?! I was interviewed for Lenscratch which is a big photography magazine kinda thing and I was interviewed and it was amazing so I’m going to put a link here too because I think it’s a really great introduction to my work. The person who did the interview with me, Kat Davis, asked really excellent questions that really helped me articulate my process and the meaning behind my work so that’s great. So if you’d like to check out that interview I’ll put the link to that in the caption also. Yeah okay now I’m just rambling. I love you, thank you for being here, check out all the things, yeah thank you. Hopefully my cramps go away soon. You get to witness me and my crampiness. Ok. I love you! Bye.
CLICK HERE TO READ MY INTERVIEW FOR LENSCRATCH
All members:
click here to view the 28 image self portrait photoset (Sunset on the Edge)
click here to view the 2 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 27 image self portrait photoset I took near Grand Staircase Escalante in Utah during my cross country trip summer 2019
click here to view 2.5 minutes of BTS video -
Art Nuance & Evyenia Karapolous
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind these photosets with Nuance Artistry and Evyenia Karapolous
- 16 image complete photoset in the studio
- 6 image complete photoset with Evyenia
- 22 image complete photoset at the abandoned Mill
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6 BTS videos
- 20 minute nude yoga video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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15 BTS photos from Roarie Yum‘s shoot with PhotoWyse
- 9 BTS videos from Roarie & PhotoWyse’s shoot
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Art Nuance & Evyenia Karapolous
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! So… gosh weeks go by so fast now. This week I’m sharing I think it’s 3 photosets actually, that I have modeled for, for my friend Nuance Artistry. One of the sets is in a studio, one of the sets is in an abandoned mill, and the other set is with another model. I always say her name wrong. I can spell it really well, but I don’t know if I’m going to say it right so I’m sorry. Evyenia Karapolous, she goes by a different name in real life, that’s her modeling name so I just call her the name that she goes by in real life but that’s not her modeling name. I think these are really great, these are older sets taken probably… 2 more more years ago now. Which feels weird, because time is really really weird.
I think the stuff that’s going into first look is the last time I saw Roarie Yum in person. They modeled for a photographer friend of mine PhotoWyse and I took some behind the scenes stuff and that’s what I’m sharing in First Look is the behind the scenes stuff that I took of Roarie during their shoot with Terry. I’m also sharing to video people the nude yoga video for this month! So yay.
I dont have a lot to say today, I feel like…. so I think I might switch up my schedule again in terms of what I’m doing during the week. I don’t know. Because after July I don’t have very much planned. On Mondays on youtube I’m doing that ecosexual series, and that’ll be finished in 2 weeks I think. I don’t really have anything planned for after that so I might take a break on that. I’ve really been enjoying the Thursday group hangout member gathering things, the video hangouts, but I also feel like maybe I should have more structure around it or change it up for something else. I haven’t decided. I feel like I’m perpetually switching up what I want to do. So I appreciate that yall want to hang around! I for sure am going to do the members hangout this week, which by the time you get this will have already happened because it’s tonight, Thursday night, not Saturday when this is going to be uploaded. Part of me wants to pause those for a little bit and recalibrate. I started doing them kindof at the beginning of quarantine as a way to stay connected, and they’ve been really fun, but at the same time… it’s just hanging out. And I feel like I want more than that, but I also don’t know exactly what I want that to be. But I also know that I want to have time for expanding things in the future like maybe teaching courses, queer hangouts, trans support group… I don’t know! I might switch stuff up, I might slow down or have more structure to or cancel or change the schedule for the group chats. I just know that something isn’t quite how I want it to be yet and I just don’t know where I want to go yet. I change so much! I’m glad that I’m not stagnant and stuck in the same thing over and over again, but I am noticing the need for change, I’m just not quite in the place where I know what that is yet.
I probably will no longer model for photographers, at least for a while, unless they’re like queer and/or trans people. I haven’t really wanted to model in a while and it just feels like another way for people to consume me in a way that is not really me. Because my naked body most people think (some flying thing just came into my space)… my naked body gets attention from people that I don’t necessarily want attention from, and I definitely don’t want sexual attention from like anybody. I feel like if I’m less naked (AHH what’s with the bugs today! there was a bug that was crawling on my foot!) I feel like if I’m less naked on the internet I’ll get less attention in the ways that I don’t want. I also feel like me being naked on the internet is a good chunk of the reason why people give me money and how I can pay my rent so that’s complicated. I definitely want to switch to a more queer trans ecosexual healing kindof platform, but I don’t know how to do that in a way that I’m still sustaining my self financially. I just know that I have way too many cis straight men who follow me and want to work with me, and that’s not really the like… I mean I love all of you people who are here of course… but in terms of new people finding me I’d much rather them be queer or trans or women or you know… not cis straight men. Sorry. Queer people are my people! Trans people are my people! Ecosexual people are my people! Cis straight men are not really my people. I have some wonderful cis straight men in my life that I super appreciate and love a whole lot, but in terms of the audience that I want to gather around myself and the community I want to create around myself and my business is not going to be catered to cis straight men and they are not the people I want to gather around me in large quantities. Because most of them probably see me as a woman and probably see me as somebody they want to have sex with and I do not want either of those things from them. Maybe that’s me not having enough faith in cis straight men to understand my queerness and to not objectify me and sexualize me, but based on my 30 years of life experience, I don’t have a lot of faith in cis straight men doing those things, unfortunately.
I just don’t know what to do to change things to be more of what I want them to be. I guess I just need to show up in the way that is authentic to myself and that will draw the right people around me because if I’m myself then more people like me will find me. I just feel like, I don’t want my work to be centered around…. okay so I love nudity and I DO want my work to be centered around nudity, but I want it to be centered around nudity in a non-sexual way that is healing and affirming and inclusive and NOT in a sexual or exploitative or objectifying in any way. I don’t know, I just know things need to change and I’m not exactly sure what that is yet or what that means. I just appreciate yall being here along for the ride. I’m always changing so my website is always changing and the things I’m doing are always changing. So I appreciate you being here in whatever capacity you’re here, if you’re a cis straight man I hope I didn’t make you too upset. Maybe go through my youtube and look at all my ecosexual stuff and in my resources here on my website I have a video on gender and sexuality that’s over an hour long. So if some of the queerness things are intriguing to you, I have resources already that I would love for you to check out, that’s more of my face talking to you!
I think it’s kinda interesting that… I was looking at some of the videos that I made last summer during my cross country road trip and I was thinking about how different I am from the person that I was last year and it’s made me a little bit sad because I was so much happier last summer when I was in all the nature. Here now is like, quarantine and stress and isolation and stuckness and a lot of numbness so I don’t quite know how to reconcile that and I realize that the whole entire planet is going through a lot right now with all of the oppression and fear and all the bullshit. It makes sense that I’m not the same happy person that I was last year. I also miss that person! I miss being completely overjoyed by rounding a corner and finding some vast amazing landscape, I miss being able to get in my van and just GO and stop anywhere and hang out and not worry about germs and play naked in a pile with other naked people and hang out and cuddle. I just… you probably feel it too. Everything’s harder this year. Thanks 2020!
I just want to find a way that I can share and affirm and honor queerness and transness and uplift that, and heal through that. I’m not quite sure what that means yet, but I’m working in that direction. Thank you for exploring existence with me. I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much. Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full studio photoset with Nuance Artistry
click here for the abandoned mill photoset
click here for the photoset with Evyenia Karapolous
click here to view the BTS videos
click here to view the nude yoga video for JulyFirst Look members:
click here to view the BTS photos & videos from Roarie Yum‘s shoot with PhotoWyse -
Durham Fruit Basement
Click here to view this BTS photoset from a day of creation at Durham Fruit with Roarie Yum and Antisocialdisposition (Mikki Marvel is in some of the other photos too!)