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Art Nuance & Evyenia Karapolous
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! So… gosh weeks go by so fast now. This week I’m sharing I think it’s 3 photosets actually, that I have modeled for, for my friend Nuance Artistry. One of the sets is in a studio, one of the sets is in an abandoned mill, and the other set is with another model. I always say her name wrong. I can spell it really well, but I don’t know if I’m going to say it right so I’m sorry. Evyenia Karapolous, she goes by a different name in real life, that’s her modeling name so I just call her the name that she goes by in real life but that’s not her modeling name. I think these are really great, these are older sets taken probably… 2 more more years ago now. Which feels weird, because time is really really weird.
I think the stuff that’s going into first look is the last time I saw Roarie Yum in person. They modeled for a photographer friend of mine PhotoWyse and I took some behind the scenes stuff and that’s what I’m sharing in First Look is the behind the scenes stuff that I took of Roarie during their shoot with Terry. I’m also sharing to video people the nude yoga video for this month! So yay.
I dont have a lot to say today, I feel like…. so I think I might switch up my schedule again in terms of what I’m doing during the week. I don’t know. Because after July I don’t have very much planned. On Mondays on youtube I’m doing that ecosexual series, and that’ll be finished in 2 weeks I think. I don’t really have anything planned for after that so I might take a break on that. I’ve really been enjoying the Thursday group hangout member gathering things, the video hangouts, but I also feel like maybe I should have more structure around it or change it up for something else. I haven’t decided. I feel like I’m perpetually switching up what I want to do. So I appreciate that yall want to hang around! I for sure am going to do the members hangout this week, which by the time you get this will have already happened because it’s tonight, Thursday night, not Saturday when this is going to be uploaded. Part of me wants to pause those for a little bit and recalibrate. I started doing them kindof at the beginning of quarantine as a way to stay connected, and they’ve been really fun, but at the same time… it’s just hanging out. And I feel like I want more than that, but I also don’t know exactly what I want that to be. But I also know that I want to have time for expanding things in the future like maybe teaching courses, queer hangouts, trans support group… I don’t know! I might switch stuff up, I might slow down or have more structure to or cancel or change the schedule for the group chats. I just know that something isn’t quite how I want it to be yet and I just don’t know where I want to go yet. I change so much! I’m glad that I’m not stagnant and stuck in the same thing over and over again, but I am noticing the need for change, I’m just not quite in the place where I know what that is yet.
I probably will no longer model for photographers, at least for a while, unless they’re like queer and/or trans people. I haven’t really wanted to model in a while and it just feels like another way for people to consume me in a way that is not really me. Because my naked body most people think (some flying thing just came into my space)… my naked body gets attention from people that I don’t necessarily want attention from, and I definitely don’t want sexual attention from like anybody. I feel like if I’m less naked (AHH what’s with the bugs today! there was a bug that was crawling on my foot!) I feel like if I’m less naked on the internet I’ll get less attention in the ways that I don’t want. I also feel like me being naked on the internet is a good chunk of the reason why people give me money and how I can pay my rent so that’s complicated. I definitely want to switch to a more queer trans ecosexual healing kindof platform, but I don’t know how to do that in a way that I’m still sustaining my self financially. I just know that I have way too many cis straight men who follow me and want to work with me, and that’s not really the like… I mean I love all of you people who are here of course… but in terms of new people finding me I’d much rather them be queer or trans or women or you know… not cis straight men. Sorry. Queer people are my people! Trans people are my people! Ecosexual people are my people! Cis straight men are not really my people. I have some wonderful cis straight men in my life that I super appreciate and love a whole lot, but in terms of the audience that I want to gather around myself and the community I want to create around myself and my business is not going to be catered to cis straight men and they are not the people I want to gather around me in large quantities. Because most of them probably see me as a woman and probably see me as somebody they want to have sex with and I do not want either of those things from them. Maybe that’s me not having enough faith in cis straight men to understand my queerness and to not objectify me and sexualize me, but based on my 30 years of life experience, I don’t have a lot of faith in cis straight men doing those things, unfortunately.
I just don’t know what to do to change things to be more of what I want them to be. I guess I just need to show up in the way that is authentic to myself and that will draw the right people around me because if I’m myself then more people like me will find me. I just feel like, I don’t want my work to be centered around…. okay so I love nudity and I DO want my work to be centered around nudity, but I want it to be centered around nudity in a non-sexual way that is healing and affirming and inclusive and NOT in a sexual or exploitative or objectifying in any way. I don’t know, I just know things need to change and I’m not exactly sure what that is yet or what that means. I just appreciate yall being here along for the ride. I’m always changing so my website is always changing and the things I’m doing are always changing. So I appreciate you being here in whatever capacity you’re here, if you’re a cis straight man I hope I didn’t make you too upset. Maybe go through my youtube and look at all my ecosexual stuff and in my resources here on my website I have a video on gender and sexuality that’s over an hour long. So if some of the queerness things are intriguing to you, I have resources already that I would love for you to check out, that’s more of my face talking to you!
I think it’s kinda interesting that… I was looking at some of the videos that I made last summer during my cross country road trip and I was thinking about how different I am from the person that I was last year and it’s made me a little bit sad because I was so much happier last summer when I was in all the nature. Here now is like, quarantine and stress and isolation and stuckness and a lot of numbness so I don’t quite know how to reconcile that and I realize that the whole entire planet is going through a lot right now with all of the oppression and fear and all the bullshit. It makes sense that I’m not the same happy person that I was last year. I also miss that person! I miss being completely overjoyed by rounding a corner and finding some vast amazing landscape, I miss being able to get in my van and just GO and stop anywhere and hang out and not worry about germs and play naked in a pile with other naked people and hang out and cuddle. I just… you probably feel it too. Everything’s harder this year. Thanks 2020!
I just want to find a way that I can share and affirm and honor queerness and transness and uplift that, and heal through that. I’m not quite sure what that means yet, but I’m working in that direction. Thank you for exploring existence with me. I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much. Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full studio photoset with Nuance Artistry
click here for the abandoned mill photoset
click here for the photoset with Evyenia Karapolous
click here to view the BTS videos
click here to view the nude yoga video for JulyFirst Look members:
click here to view the BTS photos & videos from Roarie Yum‘s shoot with PhotoWyse -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 8th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Mercury retrograde starts tomorrow and continues until May 3rd. This might be why I feel like I’ve been in a funk lately! What is Mercury retrograde and why should I care about it? When a planet is in retrograde it appears to be moving backward in its orbit as viewed from Earth. Retrograde comes from the Latin term “retrogradus” which means “backward step.” The planets, moon, sun, and stars all affect things that happen here on Earth, and Mercury (named after the Greek messenger god) governs communication and transportation. When Mercury is in retrograde its positive influence is turned into more of a “negative” one. Since Mercury governs communication, transportation, and everything that goes along with it (contracts, business, documents, shipping, travel…) you will notice that those things tend to fall apart or become chaotic when Mercury is in retrograde. Things might get lost in the mail, a business meeting may go terribly wrong, or your car might break down. Astrologers recommend to not make any important plans or moves during Mercury retrograde because they most likely will not go well. I have a friend who won’t get any work done on his car, make any plans, or make any major purchases during Mercury retrograde. Pay attention to how things go for you now until May 3rd to see how Mercury retrograde affects you.
Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn are currently in retrograde. If you’d like to read more about what these planets affect when they are in retrograde, check out these links for Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn. If you’d like to see where all the planets currently are I like this website.
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The sets I’m sharing today are from our time in San Antonio! My sister Gemini and I took SO MANY self portraits together at the airbnb we stayed at. There are a total of 7 sets, I haven’t even been able to go through all of them yet! I’ll be sharing a couple of sets at a time over the next several weeks. I really love them and I’m excited to show you all of them! We took all but one set in the back yard, there were a couple of interesting barns that made for wonderful backdrops. We were lucky and there was a privacy fence so the nearby neighbors had no idea! There was a guy fixing a roof a few houses away that might have seen us though….
All members have access to the complete 38 image photoset by clicking here, and the complete 50 image photoset by clicking here.
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Ravyn Alexa in the greenhouse
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! It’s like 9:30 this morning right now where I am home here. Let’s see… oh it cut off the top of my head… I guess I’ll just hold it. This week I’m sharing with you a photoset that I took of Ravyn Alexa in Portland Oregon, I took this when I was there last summer. It was very fun, Ravyn at the time was living with Corwin Prescott and Nicole Vaunt. If you’ve been in the art world for any amount of time you’ve probably heard those names before. I super briefly met Vaunt like, basically just saying hello, but they were doing some kind of workshop thing there so they were busy so I didn’t get to officially officially meet either of them, but Ravyn used to live with them so Ravyn and I were roaming around the yard and taking photos and it was really great. I’ve already shared some photos from that day with you and I think this is the last photoset that I have. Pretty sure, I don’t think I have any others that I took of Ravyn when I was there. You’ve probably seen the ones of Ravyn and the hydrangeas, and the flowers, and the waterfall double exposures… I’m pretty sure this is the last set that I haven’t shared with you yet, so this is Ravyn in a greenhouse!
The only other thing I really wanted to talk about today was…. I GOT SILKS! If you’ve been around for any length of time you probably know that I used to do aerial silks on a regular basis for about 3 or 4 years. Obviously since COVID it’s not a real safe thing to go to an aerial studio and be around other people. And even before that I had to stop… actually it was over a year ago when I stopped going to class because (there was a bug that was flying to me), because of my budget. It was either keep going to silks classes or get my van. So obviously you know I got my van for my road trip last year so I was taking my silks money and putting it toward the van instead of silks. After doing a bunch of thinking about it and super missing silks…. over time with all of the classes and training that I did I had already spent thousands of dollars, I think it was over $5k just in all the training that I got, and I couldn’t do anything with it because I didn’t have silks. I could do yoga stuff but it’s not the same. I mean, yoga is still wonderful but it’s not like hanging upside down from a silk. So I finally I saved up money and I bought myself a rig and silks and they are now in my bedroom!! So of course it’s super short and I can’t actually climb it or anything. The rig that I have is an adjustable height and it can go between 5-11ft so at some point I’m going to take it outside and make it real tall so I can climb it and really play on the silks. Right now I have it set up as a silk “pole” but I’m probably going to switch it to a silk hammock while it’s in my room and short, because I can do more with a hammock with it being short than I can with silks. I’m super excited, it came in yesterday, today’s Thursday and you’re going to see this Saturday, but it came in Wednesday and we set it up immediately, my dad helped me. It’s definitely a 2 person job to set up this rig because it’s heavy duty and amazing and I’m so exciteddddd!
This is going to be a short video this week because I want to spend more time on my silks! Yay! So… look for silks videos in the future because that’s a thing again now. Yay I’m so excited I’ve missed it so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. I did a lot of computer work yesterday and I know I have more computer work on my plate today but I’m hoping it wont take as long so I can spend more time playing with silks!
I love you so much, thank you for being here. I know that all of my changing is not done yet and it probably honestly will never be done, I’ll probably always be changing and growing and shifting, and I just appreciate yall being here with me through all of it and… I love you so much!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Ravyn Alexa in a greenhouse in Portland Oregon during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and attraction (nude)
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and sex (nude) -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 1st 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Stevie Macaroni and I have been friends for a few years now and I always love when our paths cross! Whether we’re creating art together or just hanging out I enjoy her company and hearing her stories. She’s able to travel more than I am so I always get the inside scoop on stuff when we get together. She stayed with us for 2 nights, it was really nice to catch up. It had been a long time since we had seen each other!
It’s been a while since I shot any double exposures so I decided after shooting this roll of film with her that I would shoot over it again for some doubles, I’m so glad that I did! It made the images that much more magical in my opinion. Plus, with all the flowers starting to bloom here who wouldn’t want a bunch of flower-filled photos?!
All members have access to this complete 31 image photoset by clicking here.
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Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning! Happy Thursday for me, happy Saturday for you! I’m gonna set this down I think, let’s see if I can do this. Almost. I have to be really far away. Happy Saturday! Hope you can hear me! So today is July 4th, well not today that I’m making this but today when you’re going to be seeing this, and it is not really cause for celebration for me. If you know anything about the history of the United States you’re probably not a fan of July 4th either. Independence from who? Independence for who? Yeah, whatever.So today I’m sharing a photoset that was actually taken on July 4th last year when I was on my cross country road trip last summer. I was in Lassen Volcanic National Park in Northern California. When I was there I saw lots of snow, on July 4th yes, I saw a lake that was completely covered in ice. It was beautiful. I saw trees that had been burned, and it’s a very varied landscape there but it was beautiful. I met up with a photographer there named From the Edge Photography. We camped overnight and got up the next morning and took a bunch of photos in a bunch of places, mostly just hiking away from where our campsite was, into the woods, and that was great. I think he might be sending me more photos in the future but for now I’m just going to share the photos that I have and all of the videos that I have. Some of the videos I think he.. I think they’re like sideways, instead of vertical like they should be, I think they’re sideways. I may or may not be able to fix that before I share them. We’ll see if it’s extremely time consuming to fix it or not, and if it is extremely time consuming then I’m sorry they’re sideways but if it’s something that can be done in a reasonable time then I will do it. So I just thought it would be funny and interesting and cool to share photos this July 4th that I was modeling for on July 4th last year!
I don’t know what else I want to share right now, I’ve been kinda busy doing my own thing and also getting stuff prepared for Going Beyond the Lens with Lior and Roarie, which has been really wonderful and I’ve really loved it, and we have a lot of things that we’d like to do and ideas… I’ll put the link in the caption (CLICK HERE!) of where you can go to sign up for updates. We have another online event coming up for free on July 18th at 1pm. When you go to the link (HERE!) there’s a place to sign up for the Going Beyond the Lens mailing list and that’s where if you’re on that mailing list then you’ll be invited and get all the information on how to join that free video gathering discussion thing. I’m excited, it’s been a really fun project to work on, and I really love working with Lior and Roarie, they’re wonderful people and I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Our first event on Vulnerability in May was really excellent and I felt like we had a lot of really good conversation and dialogue with the participants which I really enjoyed, and for it being our first event we had a pretty decent turnout so I’m pretty excited about how well it went. I’m hopeful that it’ll be a really good turn out for this next one. I think this kind of community for artists where we can gather and talk to each other about art and what it means for us and the ways we go about doing things, I think it’s important and needed, I think there’s a lot of artists that have been yearning and searching for this, I know I have, so I’m really thankful to be a part of this. To help facilitate the gathering of creators and the broadening of our perspectives, I think that’s really great and I’m excited.
What else do I want to talk about? I don’t usually make a plan for what I want these videos to say, I usually just look at my plan for what I’m releasing and just make the video go from there. That’s probably why I’m always like “what am I going to talk about? I don’t know what I want to say.” I haven’t forgotten about the double exposure ebook and the reviews I’m asking for yall to do in exchange for the ebook. I’ve just had a lot on my plate so it’s something I’ve been working on a little bit at a time. I’m not sure if I want to make the ebook much longer or if I want to keep it short and sweet, but there’s at least 20-30 photos in there already, and it’s a 16 page ebook so far. I might just finish it and continue. I’ve also been working on a double exposure mini course, an ebook pdf on how to do double exposures on 35mm film, and it’ll include some links to videos I’ve made for what to do on the cameras and how to load the film and all that kinda stuff, so I’m also working on that. My fingers are in a lot of places. I’ve also like… I posted nothing on my IG in June. I made like 3 posts on June 1st and then I didn’t post anything other than stuff on my stories. So I think I’ll probably start maybe posting again hopefully. I feel like I need to have important things to say and I’ve allowed myself to think about it too much and that has kept me from actually doing it. So there’s that.
Yeah that’s all I have to say today, I hope you enjoy this photoset and these videos from my time last July 4th in Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography.
Video members:
click here and click here to view the full photosets of me at Lassen Volcanic National Park taken by From the Edge Photography
click here to view the BTS videosFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me hanging out in the back yard during quarantine
click here to view video of me playing with kittens and moving my body -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on March 25th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Antisocialdisposition and I wanted to take some photos with his new digital camera, so we took a few photos here at home but something just wasn’t clicking. Maybe it was because he hasn’t had a chance to fiddle around with his new camera much yet, maybe it was because I was really hoping to take an awesome set (or two) for you guys and we only had a short amount of time, maybe I’m too spoiled by film and how magical it is, maybe the stars just weren’t lined up right… but we just couldn’t get anything to work the way we wanted. We both got a little frustrated (mostly me) and ended the shoot pretty quickly after we started. He had more homework he could work on anyway so we said we would just try again another day. I was slightly upset that things just weren’t working out in terms of creating some photos for you guys so as a last ditch effort I thought to myself “fuck it, I’ll just take some self portraits with whatever calls my name first and if they come out, awesome, if not, oh well. I’ll try again another day.” This enormous 165 image photoset is what came out of that frustrated self portrait session. And you know what? I really love them. I guess the moral of this story is don’t force art or creativity or it just won’t happen. Put legitimate feeling and emotion into it and it’ll be amazing.
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I’ve uploaded 3 new aerial silks videos! 2 of me doing single ankle hang with a spider climb exit & one of me doing a salto dive! The spider climb exit shows you how buff I am, I literally climb the silk with just my brute lady-arm strength! Salto dive is super fun, it’s like a mini drop. =]
All members have access to this complete 165 image photoset by clicking here & aerial silks videos by clicking here.
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Tiffany Nacke
Ahh! Hello, I was walking through the tree and it was lower than I thought it was. I’m happy to be here with you again this week! I just walked through a spiderweb. So of course I want to come outside where it feels good and I can put my feet on the ground. So this week I’m sharing a photoset and behind the scenes video from a photoshoot that I did in southern… central Illinois with Tiffany Nacke. I have shot with her a couple of times before but I was actually going through the town where she lives, her home base, home town, or gonna be really close to it on my cross country road trip last summer. She was basically the first stop that I made. I basically drove from my house to Tiffany Nacke’s house in Illinois in the first day of my trip. I might have slept overnight in my car on the way there, but I think I had my first night at her place. I could look back at my calendar to make sure but… this was the very beginning of my trip. She and I took photos of each other and I did an interview with her which I will hopefully be sharing on my youtube soonish. I have so much content that I don’t know what to do with, I don’t know when to share it, I just get overwhelmed and I’m like “oh, I’m just going to hoard it all to myself” I dont know why I do that. I’m excited to share that photoset with you I think they’re great they’re in her bedroom and she has several cats and a couple of them joined us for the shoot so that was cute and fun. I’m sure you’ll like them, any cat lovers here will be excited about this photoset.
Not much is new for me right now, I’m thinking of all the cool things that I want to do with all the videos that I have, but that just involves me being on a computer doing a lot of video editing, and I haven’t taken a whole lot of time to do that yet. It is on my list of things that I want to work on because I want to get better at video editing and have more short highlight reel type videos for yall and promotional videos I can share on social media. I have so many videos! I have over 2000 videos! Probably more than that, those are just in the paid members section, I have way more that are free! Even just counting the videos that I made every day on my cross country road trip last summer, that are all free. Also if you’re new here and you didn’t know that was available, I’ll put a link in the caption so that you can see all the free stuff of all of my travel photos of all the beautiful landscapes that I saw and all of the videos that I made every day I was on my road trip, those are all available for free. (click here for the massive blog post about it and click here for the free galleries!!!) And if you’re a member and you’re watching this anyway, the photos and videos I made there that are NOT free, you’re a member here, you’ll have access to those really soon because they’re coming out in the next few weeks because I have SO MUCH! So look forward to all of that, I’m excited to share with you.
I’ve had an idea for a fundraiser but it didn’t feel quite right so I haven’t announced it yet, and now I have an even better idea for a fundraiser, like what I want to do with the funds because that’s what was not feeling quite right. I have an even better idea and I’m excited to start fleshing that out more for myself because I think it’s going to be awesome. So keep an eye out for a fundraiser, I’m going to be posting about that hopefully soon. I’m excited and I have some ideas that I would like to flesh out so I don’t want to say too much about it yet because it’s not 100% ready, but it’s on the way.
ALSO another thing that’s on the way! I’m in the process of making a mini ebook of some of my favorite double exposures I’ve taken that involve people and nature (which is most of the double exposures that I take), this is… I think I have maybe 16 pages or so in this book so far, and I think that might be all that I do, but there’s one or two images per page so that’s a lot more than just 16 photos. I’m excited to share those. That ebook will be available for purchase and I’ll be giving the money to some kind of fund, I’m not sure yet, or at least a percentage of it, but if you don’t want to purchase it I’ll have an option for if you’re a member that you can get it for free! I’m going to make a post about it soon because it’s not quite ready but just to give you a quick heads up, if you write a review for your membership through my shop, so if you go to the sale page for the membership while you’re logged in and scroll down, it has a place for you to leave a review. If you leave a review of your membership I’ll send you this mini ebook of my double exposures for free as a thank you for writing the review. So anybody who’s written a review before the ebook comes out, you’re still going to be getting the ebook in your email so even if you do it today and the ebook isn’t ready yet, you’ll get it when it’s ready. Or you can wait til I make a post about it, either way. I think reviews help people to understand the value that I bring with the memberships and it helps bring more people into this community, and it helps me know what you like that I’m doing so I can do more of that! Reviews are awesome, I super appreciate it if you do leave reviews. I’ve had Don write a couple of reviews for me and those have been great, and Doug has also done some reviews in the past too, just not in this way, but he did a write up of a review before back when I was doing patreon. So anybody that wants that double exposure e-book for free I’ll email it to you once it’s done if you’ve written a review, or I’ll have an option for you to purchase it in my store.
I think that’s all I have to say today, because not much has changed since last week. I did have a photoshoot yesterday (Wednesday) but the photos won’t be coming out on my website, they’re just for the model for their OnlyFans. That was really fun, it was actually my first shoot this year of someone else so that was really great, and I’m hoping that we can get together again so that I can take some double exposures of them because I have some film from my trip still for double exposures. I’m very excited, I hope we do it! But yeah the photos we took yesterday are exclusive to their OnlyFans. I shot with Lauren / Portraitmami, their Onlyfans link is HERE.
That’s all I have to say. Thank you so much! I love you and I’ll talk to you again next week!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Tiffany Nacke in her home in Illinois during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the medium format film photoset of Lior Allay that I assisted with
click here to view the photos/videos from my road trip with Lior Allay last fall
click here to view the video of me doing intuitive movements & yoga -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on March 17th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I’m so excited to share this set with you! I’ve been wanting to photograph someone during ritual for a while and I was finally able to with Alf Posen! He was really open to the idea of doing a ritual for our shoot so I gave him some brief instructions and then just let him do his thing! The ritual he did was a version of the new moon ritual I posed here previously. We shot the ritual set in my bedroom and boy did it smell like SO much smoke after all the sage and paper burning!! Haha, I had to diffuse the heck out of some essential oils to make the smoke smell go away. We keep the door closed all the time because I don’t want our 3 catmates to get in and fuck with all my skulls and crystals so it took a few days for the smell to completely go away. I’m really super happy with the images we got. You can see a great progression of the ritual in the complete set. After he did the ritual I took another roll of film of art nudes that I really love too. This old 1940’s house is a great place to shoot in when the cats aren’t crawling all over you. The second set we shot was in the upstairs hallway. There’s natural light from both ends of the hallway and I like to use the stair railing in the foreground to break up the image and create more depth.
I have more shoots scheduled with models in the coming months and I’m hoping to do more including rituals so stay tuned!
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Check out the videos folder for 2 fancy new videos! There’s a timelapse BTS video of me shooting Alf during ritual AND I was finally able to make that positive affirmations video! Aren’t you excited?! I know I am! I might want to do different versions of it… I’m thinking of making another one where the affirmations are the same but the video is of my butt or something haha. Then I’ll have a SFW and a NSFW version! What do you think?
All members have access to the complete 17 image ritual photoset by clicking here, the complete 31 image black and white photoset here, and the BTS video here.
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V & baby
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! Good morning! I kinda feel like just walking around a little bit today so I’m probably going to walk and do this, I hope it’s not too distracting to yall. So much has been happening, I’m excited that systemic racism is becoming very apparent to most of society because that is important because we can’t fix anything if we don’t know what’s wrong. I just keep getting very angry when I go on social media so today I’m going to focus on work because the last few days I’ve basically gotten stuck on social media for several hours at a time sometimes and that is not good for my mental health. I’m sure it’s not good for anybody’s really.
This weekend I’m sharing a photoset that I took of my friend V at her house. I’m lucky enough that she lives not too far from me, she lives less than an hour away. I took these sometime last year, it was not super long after she had her baby (there’s a squirrel all over that fence over there) so she had her baby and we took some photos and I think they’re wonderful. Since then she has had another baby and I believe I have already shared photos of her pregnant with that baby, I think? I can’t keep up. These photos are really great, I really enjoyed taking them. It’s always kinda funny to figure out how to take photos when babies are involved because they don’t understand language yet, and even if they did they’re going to be like “well, I’m going to do my own thing” because they’re babies. Wrangling babies isn’t my specialty, I’ve only done a couple of shoots that have involved children or babies, and I think most of them have been with V actually, so they’re a little bit more rare in terms of the quantity of shoots that I create with people that have babies, there aren’t very many. I can’t think of any others right now off the top of my head so I think the only ones I have are of V. (EDIT: I’ve since remembered that I’ve taken newborn photos for my aunt when one of my cousins was born) She’s always wonderful to take photos of, I love her enthusiasm and her willingness to be creative and try new things and just hang out, she’s super sweet.
What else do I want to talk about? The video that I’m sharing today (technically not today today when I’m making this video bc it’s Thursday but today when you’re seeing this video), the video I’m sharing I took in May of 2019. This was not long before I left for my cross country road trip last summer and it was during the Scorpio Full Moon. It was basically a life reset for me, I was energetically resetting my room, I moved around all of my furniture and I was redoing my altar and where all my crystals were. I have since moved again so everything’s different from where they were, but this video is just me redoing all my crystals and my altar stuff. Symbolically and energetically resetting my life during that full moon. I think it’s like 30 minutes of video or something, it’s a lot of video, but it’s just me doing that, so that’s pretty cool. I believe I was also on my period, which is… ah I am so connected to my period, I love having my period, it’s a really great release, physically energetically emotionally.
What else do I want to talk to you about today? I think last week I told you about how I had finished my backlog, which I am very excited about! Finally! It’s taken me like a year to finish it. What else… yes I am walking around in circles around the magnolia tree. The light here is really good I think I might just stay here though. Ok so I have some ideas for things that I want to do but I have to actually spend time doing them in order to get them done. I don’t want to say too much about that right now, I’m just thinking out loud. Yesterday I took some really experimental photos, yes I took photos again! Like twice in a month which is something I haven’t done in 6+ months. I got out a panoramic pinhole camera that my dad and I made out of wood and metal when I was in college so that was like 10 fucking years ago holy shit. I graduated from high school 12 years ago, time is weird! Time does not make sense. But my dad and I made this camera, it’s a panoramic pinhole camera and it takes medium format film. I had a roll of color, I think it’s color film, I don’t even know for sure honestly, it was expired, I think it was Konica film, I have no idea how expired it was, probably pretty expired. 220 format, so it’s 120 but twice as long, so it’s twice as many photos. I hope it’s color because I want to see them in color, but I shot this whole roll with my panoramic pinhole camera out here in the back yard yesterday. I have no fucking idea if any of it’s going to come out at all, for multiple reasons. I’m not even sure I loaded the film right! I’m pretty sure I did because I went back in and checked it before I started. I’m not sure I loaded the film right, the film was very expired, I was partially guessing on the exposure. I did check the exposure but this thing isn’t an exact science, it’s a pinhole, I can’t measure the aperture of a pinhole, so I think it’s around f/150 which is fucking tiny. I think it’s between f/150 – f/200. To give you an idea of how tiny that is, a lot of people shoot at an aperture of f/16, f/11, f/8, f/4, or f/2.8 so f/150 and f/200 is fucking tiny. It’s a pinhole, literally a pin hole in a piece of metal, like tiny hole. But I’m really excited, I hope they come out, I have no idea if they will and it’s ok if they don’t, it was a fun adventure if they don’t come out. I thought about it after the fact that I didn’t take any BTS video, so I don’t have any video, so I don’t have any evidence of it unless the photos come out. It was a fun creative activity anyway whether or not it comes out. I was outside naked in the back yard being creative, that was the fun that I wanted to have and I had it!
I think that’s all I have to share today. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I personally am feeling better today even though today is the start of Mercury Retrograde, I think it’s Retrograde through the 12th of July, so hopefully I don’t have any electronic problems. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling like I can’t come up with any words for this because communication is weird during Mercury Retrograde, so I’m just like… I don’t know. I hope you’re having a wonderful day. I love you, thank you so much for being here with me, and I’m excited to keep sharing… whatever I share with you. Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of V & her son
click here to view the Scorpio Full Moon life reset video from May 2019 – watch me reorganize my crystals and magickal supplies
click here to view the nude yoga video for this monthFirst Look members:
click here to view the vlog at Colorado National Monument (Live Life For You)
click here to view the vlog at Colorado National Monument (before I found the cave!) -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on March 11th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Do you ever feel like you do too many things and have too many interests? I’ve been feeling this way for a while now and I want to figure out a way to incorporate all the awesome interesting things into my life but still have a LIFE. Is this what life is, trying to fill it with as much as possible for fear of missing out? I read one of those facebook horoscope things, a link stating “Every astrological sign’s downfall” or something like that. According to this site, as a Sagittarius my downfall is fear of failure. I don’t even start things because I’m afraid of failing. This is so so so true for me. I dip my toes into a thousand different little pools and never dive into any of them. But look at that other little pool over there! All the possibilities! I have so many interests and so many things I care about and want to do but I never delve really deeply into any one thing. I can’t tell yet if this is a good thing or not. I want to say it’s beneficial, because I have some knowledge about a lot of different topics and at least some skill at several different things. But I am not a pro at any ONE thing, other than being myself. =D Maybe that’s why I wrack my brain for an interesting topic to blog about here every week. I enjoy metaphysical topics, I love aerial silks, I’m interested in so many things and it’s hard to pick and choose what I think would be fun to write about and what I hope you enjoy reading about. I feel somewhat scattered and all over the place in terms of what I share online. Well, mostly here because I don’t share very much anywhere else.
Should I focus on one topic or genre and build it up, or should I continue dipping my toes into all the different little pools and share my favorite parts of them with you? I know this is something I will figure out when I spend some time and look inside myself but I’m always open to your suggestions too! YOU are the reason I’m here, you know. <3
All members have access to this complete 61 image photoset by clicking here.