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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 3rd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is actually ME vs what has been planted into my brain by our culture, specifically American culture. I want to challenge culture.
Ok, I guess I probably should explain. Let’s talk about everyday life and things that are “normal.” You get up in the morning, take a shower, put on your gender-appropriate clothes, and get ready for your day. You leave your house or apartment and drive or take public transportation to work or school. You see other people looking the way they “should” look ie: wearing “appropriate” clothes, women wearing makeup with their hair done, men with short hair and possibly facial hair etc. You go about your day, eat at a restaurant or get something take out or delivered for lunch, finish your day at work or school, and come home to your significant other (most likely of the opposite sex). Sounds pretty normal, right? Of course, because it’s what American culture has taught us is normal.
Well, what would your everyday life be like if you lived in a remote area as a member of a community that doesn’t have the internet or even power, who hunts and gathers and gardens for their food? Normal everyday life would probably be waking up when the sun comes up, doing your duties for the community such as hunting or gathering or gardening, eating meals with family & friends, and telling stories by a fire before you go to bed only an hour or two after sundown.
“Normal” is different for everyone depending on where and how they grew up. American culture tells us that there is a formula you have to follow in order to be “normal.” If you’re not “normal” those who are very deep into American culture don’t know what to do with you and call you a freak or beat you up or judge you or something else that’s not very nice.
WHY do we (people with American culture deeply ingrained in them) assume that anyone that’s not like us is bad or weird or stupid or in need of our help to become more like us? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same. I want to live in a DIVERSE world where there are a multitude of different cultures, ideas, and points of view.
I want to challenge culture. I want to experience things that are not “normal.” I want to do, wear, listen to, be a part of things that make me HAPPY and because I WANT TO, not because it’s expected of me or because that’s what everyone else is doing.
What do you do every day to follow culture?
What do you do every day to follow your HEART?
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This week I’ve uploaded a special acrobatic nude video of me hanging out of a tree!
I’ve also included 2 aerial silks videos from when I was first learning scorpion. One video is me doing scorpion for an entire minute. It doesn’t seem like that long until you’re hanging by your legs doing a backbend, then a minute is a long time! Haha The other is of me doing a skin the cat exit from scorpion. =]
This month I’m starting a monthly nude yoga video! I’ll be uploading that in the next week or two, look for that soon. Yay! I’m really looking forward to creating these yoga videos. I don’t have a great camera for video but I do what I can, it just limits me to videos at 10 minutes maximum length. I have a future goal of buying a nice video-capable digital camera so every pledge helps me get a little closer to higher quality videos just for you!
All members have access to this complete 31 image self portrait photoset by clicking here, the 34 image photoset by clicking here, and all the videos by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.
Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.
What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?
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To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.
All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.
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Ravyn Alexa in the greenhouse
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! It’s like 9:30 this morning right now where I am home here. Let’s see… oh it cut off the top of my head… I guess I’ll just hold it. This week I’m sharing with you a photoset that I took of Ravyn Alexa in Portland Oregon, I took this when I was there last summer. It was very fun, Ravyn at the time was living with Corwin Prescott and Nicole Vaunt. If you’ve been in the art world for any amount of time you’ve probably heard those names before. I super briefly met Vaunt like, basically just saying hello, but they were doing some kind of workshop thing there so they were busy so I didn’t get to officially officially meet either of them, but Ravyn used to live with them so Ravyn and I were roaming around the yard and taking photos and it was really great. I’ve already shared some photos from that day with you and I think this is the last photoset that I have. Pretty sure, I don’t think I have any others that I took of Ravyn when I was there. You’ve probably seen the ones of Ravyn and the hydrangeas, and the flowers, and the waterfall double exposures… I’m pretty sure this is the last set that I haven’t shared with you yet, so this is Ravyn in a greenhouse!
The only other thing I really wanted to talk about today was…. I GOT SILKS! If you’ve been around for any length of time you probably know that I used to do aerial silks on a regular basis for about 3 or 4 years. Obviously since COVID it’s not a real safe thing to go to an aerial studio and be around other people. And even before that I had to stop… actually it was over a year ago when I stopped going to class because (there was a bug that was flying to me), because of my budget. It was either keep going to silks classes or get my van. So obviously you know I got my van for my road trip last year so I was taking my silks money and putting it toward the van instead of silks. After doing a bunch of thinking about it and super missing silks…. over time with all of the classes and training that I did I had already spent thousands of dollars, I think it was over $5k just in all the training that I got, and I couldn’t do anything with it because I didn’t have silks. I could do yoga stuff but it’s not the same. I mean, yoga is still wonderful but it’s not like hanging upside down from a silk. So I finally I saved up money and I bought myself a rig and silks and they are now in my bedroom!! So of course it’s super short and I can’t actually climb it or anything. The rig that I have is an adjustable height and it can go between 5-11ft so at some point I’m going to take it outside and make it real tall so I can climb it and really play on the silks. Right now I have it set up as a silk “pole” but I’m probably going to switch it to a silk hammock while it’s in my room and short, because I can do more with a hammock with it being short than I can with silks. I’m super excited, it came in yesterday, today’s Thursday and you’re going to see this Saturday, but it came in Wednesday and we set it up immediately, my dad helped me. It’s definitely a 2 person job to set up this rig because it’s heavy duty and amazing and I’m so exciteddddd!
This is going to be a short video this week because I want to spend more time on my silks! Yay! So… look for silks videos in the future because that’s a thing again now. Yay I’m so excited I’ve missed it so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. I did a lot of computer work yesterday and I know I have more computer work on my plate today but I’m hoping it wont take as long so I can spend more time playing with silks!
I love you so much, thank you for being here. I know that all of my changing is not done yet and it probably honestly will never be done, I’ll probably always be changing and growing and shifting, and I just appreciate yall being here with me through all of it and… I love you so much!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Ravyn Alexa in a greenhouse in Portland Oregon during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and attraction (nude)
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and sex (nude) -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on March 25th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Antisocialdisposition and I wanted to take some photos with his new digital camera, so we took a few photos here at home but something just wasn’t clicking. Maybe it was because he hasn’t had a chance to fiddle around with his new camera much yet, maybe it was because I was really hoping to take an awesome set (or two) for you guys and we only had a short amount of time, maybe I’m too spoiled by film and how magical it is, maybe the stars just weren’t lined up right… but we just couldn’t get anything to work the way we wanted. We both got a little frustrated (mostly me) and ended the shoot pretty quickly after we started. He had more homework he could work on anyway so we said we would just try again another day. I was slightly upset that things just weren’t working out in terms of creating some photos for you guys so as a last ditch effort I thought to myself “fuck it, I’ll just take some self portraits with whatever calls my name first and if they come out, awesome, if not, oh well. I’ll try again another day.” This enormous 165 image photoset is what came out of that frustrated self portrait session. And you know what? I really love them. I guess the moral of this story is don’t force art or creativity or it just won’t happen. Put legitimate feeling and emotion into it and it’ll be amazing.
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I’ve uploaded 3 new aerial silks videos! 2 of me doing single ankle hang with a spider climb exit & one of me doing a salto dive! The spider climb exit shows you how buff I am, I literally climb the silk with just my brute lady-arm strength! Salto dive is super fun, it’s like a mini drop. =]
All members have access to this complete 165 image photoset by clicking here & aerial silks videos by clicking here.
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Creator Interview with Karolina Von
During this interview, Karolina and I talk about her experience as a model, circus performer, and mom, and how movement is medicine.
Where to find Karolina:
Website: karolinavon.com
Instagram: @still.karolina
Circus Group Website: nouveausud.org
Circus Group Instagram: @nouveausudclt -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on February 4th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I hope you’ve been liking my introduction to meditation, mantras, and positive affirmations posts these past couple weeks! I’m probably going to do a post about altars soon. =] I’d love to hear your feedback, please comment or message or email me! <3
So I’ve started going back to silks 2-3 times a week and I’m LOVING it! I’m nowhere near where I was before in terms of strength but it’s coming back pretty quickly and I’m really happy about it. It’s frustrating sometimes that I can’t completely do everything that I used to do before I got wrist drop at the end of May. It’s been so long since I’ve regularly done silks I can’t expect my body to still be at the same level of strength that it was. But it’s coming back! I notice myself getting stronger every time I go. Starting class again was really serendipitous, I went to a beginner class on Sunday a couple of weeks ago and the teacher for that particular class is my favorite one, Mandy. She asked me after class if I was going to be going back to the intermediate class since the next unit was starting that Tuesday. Guess which unit was starting? The one I started but was unable to finish when I was injured! It’s also the unit I am most excited about because scorpion is part of the curriculum!!! I got one class of scorpion, the thing I’ve been most pumped about learning, before I couldn’t come back because of wrist drop. If you’re new here I got wrist drop from a shibari suspension when I was at an artists vacation at the end of May. I had hardly any use of my right hand for 3 months. Anyway, the new unit was starting in just a couple of days but I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it or not since I needed to build my strength back up. Mandy suggested I at least go to a class or two to see how I felt. I’m really glad I went because I’m totally ready and intermediate is building my strength back up quicker than the beginner’s class would have. Be ready for silks videos pretty often now. =]
All members have access to this complete 51, 71, and 36 image self portrait photosets by clicking here, here, and here.
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Bruised
This self portrait post is in happy remembrance of these bruises from aerial silks. I haven’t been consistently in over a year and I’m definitely missing it. Hopefully I will be able to practice it again someday. Until then, I’ll fondly look at all the bruises I got from it in my archives.
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Doubles with Notrlygrace
Photo members now have access to:-
23 image complete photoset
Video members now have access to:-
everything above
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3 minutes of BTS video
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1 minute video of me walking nude on an abandoned road during my cross country road trip (outside of Lake Tahoe)
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12 aerial silks videos of me doing SCORPION!!! My FAVE thing to do on silks!
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7+ minute nude yoga video for this month
First Look members now have access to:-
everything above
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22 image complete digital photoset
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11 minutes of BTS video
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Doubles with Notrlygrace
I visited Nashville earlier this year and had the privilege of staying with and creating with Notrlygrace while I was there! This is the first photoset from our afternoon of creating that I’ll be sharing with you. We drove to a place called Natchez Trace which is a parkway that runs between Nashville Tennessee and Natchez Mississippi. We drove along for a bit until we found a spot to park and hike, and sneakily took some nudes at an overlook on the trail!CURRENTLY: I am a good deal of the way through moving from my sister’s house to my parents house (my childhood home, I’m so happy and excited to go back!). My official move date is TOMORROW, Sunday the 17th. I’ve been bouncing around from place to place so much lately that it feels like I have 3 homes instead of just one. How lucky am I that so many people welcome me into their homes and lives?! I’m really looking forward to getting all moved in, unpacked, and making my room my own private sanctuary. I never fully unpacked when I moved in with my sister and I’m so ready to have my natural treasures displayed again! I’ve missed my skulls, bones, feathers, shells and leaves!
Photo members: click here to view the full photoset
Video members: click here to view the BTS video, click here to view the video of me walking nude on an abandoned road during my cross country road trip (outside of Lake Tahoe), click here to view 12 aerial silks videos of me doing SCORPION!!! My FAVE thing to do on silks!, and click here to view the nude yoga video for this month
First Look members: click here to view the film photoset I took of Ravyn Alexa, click here to view the digital photoset, and click here to view the BTS video -
Archives with Stevie Macaroni
Daily Photo Blog members now have access to:
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blog post with the story behind this massive archives photoset taken by Stevie Macaroni (the image above features Melissa Troutt!)
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7 image mini set
Photo members now have access to:
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everything above
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113 image complete photoset
Video members now have access to:
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everything above
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a nude video of me at Mobius Arch in California (and a clothed video too but that’s not as exciting)
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5 aerial silks videos of me doing Salto Dive! Sooooo fun!
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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3 minute BTS video
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21 more BTS videos/clips from that day + 13 photos
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a mini video tour of my van (that I lived out of while road tripping for 2 months)
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