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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on August 5th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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When I was planning my trip to Philadelphia I reached out to several models I know that live there, and it worked out perfectly that they were all available on the same day! So of COURSE we had to all get together for an epic group shoot! Tiffany Helms, Vex Voir, Caitlin Michele, Luna Dahlia, Jeff Waters and I all met up at Fairmout Park after roaming around trying to find each other for a little while. The place is huge! Once we all converged in the same spot all 6 of us squished into my 5 seat hatchback (yeah it was pretty tightly packed in the backseat haha) and drove to a parking area near some trails. We didn’t have a solid plan for where we were going to shoot so we just started walking, knowing we would find a place. After stopping a couple of times considering different parts of the trail as a background, we stumbled upon a large open field surrounded by trees and on the far side of the field was a graffitied abandoned building! We KNEW this was the place, it was perfect! We crossed the field and explored inside. Vex brought a portable speaker and played some music while we smoked and chatted and I put film in my cameras. I took photos of all 4 models together, and then Jeff and I took turns shooting everyone individually. We weren’t interrupted the entire time we were there, which was several hours, but we did have a small scare when a couple of people walked into the field next to the building. I think they were just looking for a smoking spot and they didn’t come near or bother us at all before they went along their way. At the end of the shoot Jeff took photos of all 5 of us, some with my camera and some with his. I’ve included the photos he took with my camera in this set along with the photos I took of the group. =]
I had so much fun that day and I’m glad I have photos and a couple of videos to look back on and reminisce.
I’ll share the individual shots I took of them in the next few weeks, so look out for those soon!
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I’ve added 2 behind the scenes location videos from this shoot to the video folder for your viewing pleasure. The videos really help you get a sense of the space!
And just because, I’ve also included 17 cheeky fun boomerangs of me in various stages of undress. =]
All members have access to this complete 18 image photoset by clicking here, the 12 image instax photoset by clicking here, the BTS videos by clicking here, and the boomerangs by clicking here.
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Three totally different photosets
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Um so this week I have a bunch of random things to share with you to be honest. I have 3 different small photosets that I’m sharing. One is me modeling for a photographer, Muzse Photography at a studio from like several years ago. Another photoset is me posing with my friend Hannah Elizabeth for Antisocialdisposition, that’s a small photoset and it’s also from a few years ago, and then I have a 3 image photoset also that I took of my friends Marianna Lane and Lauren. This was also taken several years ago. I have other photos of Marianna Lane and Lauren separately, but these are the photos where they pose together so it’s a very small set. I’m sharing a video of me hanging out naked cooking and dancing, because why not? First Look people, I have 2 photosets from Joshua Tree that are self portrait sets that I took, that I’ll be sharing with first look, and that’s what I’m sharing this week.
When this goes live it will be Halloween and it will be a full moon, the second full moon of the month, we had a full moon at the beginning of the month and we have another full moon on Halloween which is going to be the day this comes out. The energy right now that exists in the world that is in this time, for me anyway, is heavier and more difficult and I’m doing my best. I hope you are too. I hear my mom making popcorn in the background.
This morning here it’s been really windy and rainy, but the sun just came out and I guess it’s done being rainy for the day, maybe? I don’t have much to share this week because I don’t have much new going on other than personal stuff that I want to keep personal. I keep feeling unsure of what I want to do with my website, like I want my website to be a place where people can get inspiration, where people can feel like they’re not alone, where people can maybe learn something or help heal themselves in some way, that’s what I want my website to be. At this point I don’t quite feel like that’s how it exists yet, and I want to make shifts to move in that direction, I’m just not exactly sure what that is yet. I am continually figuring it out, you know, that’s all I can really do.
So yeah um… I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for being here. Everybody that is a member of my website is like…. yall are my heroes and I wouldn’t be able to do it without you and I appreciate you so much and I’m very excited to continue sharing… something with you, whatever that is. I hope you have a good day, a good week. I hope we all survive this full moon, I think we will, it’s going to be hard I think, but I think we’ll survive it. We’ve survived everything that’s happened so far. I love you, bye <3
me and Hannah Elizabeth taken by Antisocialdisposition
Marianna Lane & Lauren
All members:
click here to view the 21 image complete photoset taken by Muzse Photography
click here to view the 7 image complete photoset of me and Hannah Elizabeth taken by Antisocialdisposition
click here to view the 3 image complete photoset of Marianna Lane & Lauren
click here to view a 20 minute video of me nude cooking and dancing
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 31 image self portrait photoset of me by the pool in Joshua Tree during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 20 image complete self portrait photoset of me at sunset in Joshua Tree -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 8th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I’ve been up and down emotionally a lot lately (probably because I’m coming up on my period) so the other day I took a bath for some self care time and to release negativity. Anything you do for yourself and for your happiness is always wonderful, but when you can include ritual that’s even better (in my opinion)! I wanted to share this with you guys because it helps me feel 1000x better after a really shitty day.
Self care bathtime ritual:
- Set aside at least 30 minutes to an hour for yourself when you won’t be disturbed
- Gather anything you would like with you while you’re in the bath: candles, incense, crystals, soft meditative music, a glass of water/tea, a good book
- Draw your bath. If you have them, put some some epsom salts and essential oils in (lavender is great for relaxation!), or a bath bomb, flower petals, or bubble bath
- If applicable, light your candles and/or incense, arrange your crystals, place your glass of water/tea and book within arms reach of where you’ll be in the tub
- Get in and relax for at least 10-15 minutes either doing nothing, leisurely reading, or meditating. For meditating, I like to lay all the way in the water so that everything but my face is submerged and listen to my heartbeat underwater. I take deep breaths in rhythm with my heartbeat, keeping each inhale and exhale the same number of beats and trying to lengthen my breaths. Inhaling counting 5 heartbeats, exhaling counting 5 heartbeats. Inhaling counting 6 or 7 (or more) heartbeats, exhaling counting the same number of heartbeats. If I want to meditate with my crystals I pick one up and look at every part of it, noticing the colors, textures, the way it feels in my hand, the weight of it, if it reflects anything, or seeing if there are any rainbows inside. I’ll do this with each one in turn, seeing how they make me feel and letting my mind become quiet as I focus on my senses of vision and touch.
- Once you’re in a calm relaxed state, either happy and content (or at least neutral), think of things you would like to release and let go of. What would you like to cleanse from your life?
- Cup your hands together so they create a bowl shape and use your hands to bring water to your face. Run your hands from your face, up past your temples, up over and down the back of your head, down your shoulders, chest, and thighs.
- Say to yourself either out loud or in your mind (I prefer to say it out loud because it’s more powerful) “I release *insert that which you would like to let go of* from my life. I allow this water to cleanse me of that which no longer serves me.”
- Cleanse yourself this way as many times as you want or need to, or for however many things you’d like to release. Examples of things I cleanse myself of: negativity, self-doubt, comparing myself to others
- I suggest meditating after cleansing yourself, a lovingkindness meditation would be a wonderful meditation to start with.
- When you are ready to get out, unplug the drain but stay in the bath. As the water drains, visualize all of that which you want to release and let go of going down the drain with the water. Watch as all negativity, self-doubt, and comparison disappear down the drain.
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I’ve added 2 videos showing a couple of the crystal grids I’ve used for bathtime rituals. I’ve also added 17 fun boomerangs I took after a recent bath… lots of booty boomerangs! Make sure to check those out. =]
All members have access to this complete 27 image film photoset by clicking here, the 20 image digital photoset by clicking here, the 22 image Instax nudes set from an NC mountain trip by clicking here, bathtime crystal grids videos by clicking here, and post bath boomerangs by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 1st 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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When I learned that Liv Sage & Nova Amour would be here at that same time I knew I had to see if the 3 of us could all get together to create! We hosted Liv while she was in town and Nova met us at my house to shoot. Random fun fact: all 3 of us were on our period at the same time! We talked probably over half of the time we were shooting, about all kinds of things like crystals, astrology, and who our favorite people to create with are. Liv took some photos of Nova & me, and I took photos of the two of them. We were chasing the light in my house so we started downstairs and ended up going upstairs by the end of the shoot. I forgot and only took a couple of Instax! I usually like to take at least a pack (10 photos) but only ended up taking 3. Oops. I was just having too much fun. =D Afterwards we went out for dinner and hung out for a while before Nova went back to her airbnb and we went to bed.
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I’ve uploaded 2 behind the scenes timelapse videos so you can watch the whole shoot! One video is from when I photographed them and the other is from when Liv photographed Nova & me!
All members have access to this complete 21 image photoset by clicking here, the 3 instax by clicking here, and the videos by clicking here.
Not a member? Click here to join for instant access and other member perks!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 24th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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The new moon supermoon in Cancer is today/tomorrow and oh gosh its bringing about a lot of change for me. It’s both scary and exciting, and I’m ready for it. I don’t think I’ve told you much about my “real” life outside of photography and modeling and want to share some of it with you. Since art doesn’t currently pay the bills and antisocialdisposition is a full time electrical engineering student, it has been essential for me to have a steady income. I’ve been working full time at a major healthcare system for nearly 5 years to support myself and my husband until he finishes his degree.
Well, working in healthcare kinda started killing my soul a little. Slowly.
The first 3 years I was working the front desk at a family practice. I loved my work family, (most of) our patients were so sweet, and the benefits were amazing.
The 4th year I was promoted to the referral coordinator position which was great because it was over a dollar more an hour, but I had to do the work of 2 people. That’s when things started to change for me, I started to not really enjoy coming to work every day like I used to. I was tasked with the job of cleaning up the mess that was made before I was promoted. Trying to condense as much of the story as possible, essentially there was nobody doing referrals for 2 offices for a couple of months before I started, and I had to not only essentially teach myself referrals, I had to catch up with the backlog AND work on the new referrals being added every day. It is so disheartening to know that you’re not doing the best job you could be doing because you have SO MUCH work to do it’s not possible to do it all right. I am not the kind of person that does things half-heartedly. If I do something I want to do it 100%.
I was a referral coordinator for 1 year. In that year I taught myself how to do referrals, I cleaned up the backlog (over 500 referrals between the 2 offices down to about 40 which is doable in a couple of days), and I created cheat sheets for other referral coordinators to use to help them with their work. I felt trapped, underappreciated, and underpaid. That’s why I was fine with moving over an hour away from work. It was a good excuse to look for a job closer to home.
I wanted and got a job in the billing department for the same healthcare system that was about 20 minutes away from our new place. It was NOT the job for me. It’s an extremely monotonous job: printing out EOBs and entering them into the computer. all. day. long. I was there for about 5 months.
Today was my last day working in healthcare. I put my notice in a couple weeks ago after stressing and crying and thinking so much about it. I feel so much better already to not be in a field that I have a lot of problems with. The healthcare system in our country is dismal, and I know first hand how terrible it can be for both patients and those who take care of them. Healthcare needs an overhaul but I wouldn’t even know where to start.
I will be unemployed for 2 weeks, and on July 10th I start my new full time job at the only camera store in town that still develops black and white film in-house. I am so much happier with the direction of my life already and I haven’t even started my new job yet. Obviously photography and modeling are what I’m passionate about and I am so excited for it to be what sustains me monetarily! I am going to learn so much working there and my new knowledge will only enhance the quality of my art. I am so looking forward to it!!! Change can be so so good.
I create as much as I can whenever I can, and your support here on patreon has allowed me to allocate more time to creating than I would be able to otherwise. One day with your help I aspire to support myself full time from my art income. I yearn to travel all over the country to find the most beautiful places and photograph the nude there. My goal for after AD finishes his degree: buy a giant work van, custom build it into a mini home, and create in every national and state park I can find. And you know I’ll be sharing it all here with you. <3
(EDIT 2020: My dreams all came true last year!!! I became full time self employed (via THIS WEBSITE RIGHT HERE, because of the support of members!) in April 2019, and lived out of my minivan for 69 days during a cross country road trip last summer!)
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I am so excited to share these sets with you! This is the film from our member-sponsored (thank you!!! <3 ) mountain trip last month! I really love how these came out, the locations were so beautiful.
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Go explore the videos folder, I’ve just added 9 bts videos from between shooting these sets. You can really see how beautiful these locations are. There’s a video of me collecting water from the waterfall…. I almost slipped and fell in! Haha
All members have access to this complete 22 image waterfall photoset by clicking here, the 16 image App Trail photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
Not a member? Click here to join for instant access and other member perks!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 17th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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This shoot is thanks to you, my lovely members who helped me reach my last goal. Because of you I was able to hire a model and begin donating $25/month to the National Park Foundation! <3 <3 <3 You probably remember a couple months ago when I worked with Quinn Sanguine for the first time. They came back through NC one more time before making a 3 month road trip/tour ending in Tacoma Washington, their new home. I knew I probably wouldn’t see them again for a while since they’re on the road for so long and then will be on the other side of the country. I’m really grateful that they came back through and y’all made it possible for me to hire them for a shoot. Thank you!!
We met in the evening at my parent’s place. What can I say, I shoot there all the time but I love it there and they get such good light through the giant window in their living room onto their beautiful wood floor! I previously prepared a roll of film for doubles and had the nature backgrounds ready to go on some 35mm for this shoot. We took dual self portraits! You can see the cord for my cable release in some of the photos. I’ve only taken film self portraits either by myself or with Antisocialdisposition so it was really wonderful to experiment with another model. I had this other idea using blue thread to represent the connection between everyone but as you can see in the BTS timelapse, it was such a huge tangled mess so we didn’t use it for that many photos. I’ll have to cut some of the knots out of it and experiment with it again. After we shot the dual self portraits we took some Instax and boomerangs out in the back yard.
We went out for dinner afterward and talked for a couple hours at a pizza place a couple minutes from the house. They have great insight, experience, and advice about polyam relationships, which is very much something that has been on my (and AD’s) mind a lot lately. I’m sure sure if I’m ready to share a lot about this here yet but I’ll just say that it feels like everything happens for a reason and I’m really glad we had the time to talk after our shoot because they gave me a lot to think about, in a good way.
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Check out the videos folder for a behind the scenes timelapse of our shoot AND 16 fun boomerangs that we made together!
ALSO! Brand new this month, I’m doing a monthly nude yoga video and have just uploaded June’s nude yoga video (almost 9 minutes long!)!
All members have access to this complete 17 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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Doubles with Tiffany Helms
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! Well, morning for you when you see this maybe, it’s not really morning here anymore. I’m really excited about this photoset that I’m sharing with you this week. I took it on my cross country road trip last year like most of the other sets I’ve been sharing recently and will continue to share because I took SO MUCH last year. I have a huge backlog and I’m really glad because I haven’t really made much this year at all and it’s already September.
This photoset that I took last year on my cross country road trip is of a model that I’ve worked with 2 or 3 times before, Tiffany Helms, who is super awesome. I shared a photoset with yall recently of single exposures I took of her, and these are the double exposures that I took. Of course I’m really excited about them because doubles. We took these on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. What all do I want to say about this set? The singles that we took, we took before we took these doubles. We took all the doubles at a second location. The first location was that really cool abandoned spot that I shared with yall recently. This other location wasn’t super far away but we did drive to get to the trailhead for it. It was pretty awesome because there were like… what were they called? There was wild… food of some kind that I’m having trouble… was it blackberries? Was it… NO it was wild cherries! There were wild cherries on the trail that we were snacking on that was so awesome and it was great. On the way to this place where we shot. I don’t exactly know what part of the island we were on? I didn’t.. I wasn’t the driver during this shoot. Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters was the driver for us and our assistant/lookout. We went to this place that was right next to the water and there was another abandoned building that was different than the abandoned building we previously had been to. We didn’t shoot inside of it but we shot next to and around it. I was most excited about the water and the beachy area because it looked beautiful so we have a lot of photos from that place. I hope my neighbor doing their grass isn’t too loud. I’m gonna get closer so you can hear me better. So yeah it was super fun, I had a good time. Oh yay maybe they’re done! Yeah… it was super awesome. I did the doubles a little bit differently than I usually do… or recently have done. Usually I’ll shoot a whole roll (I mean I kinda did it the same way, but) rewind it, and shoot over it again. Usually the first set of images is all just background images like landscapes and the second set of images I shoot are usually with the model. For these photos I was pretty excited with what we were creating and I actually shot a whole roll of Tiffany, portrait, like closer up mostly of her face. Then I rewound the roll and shot over it all over again with further away, with her more in the landscape. I think they turned out super amazing and I’m very excited about how they look.
I usually did that kind of double where I would double the person in there twice, I usually did that with my medium format camera in the past. I’ve been having some technical issues with that camera for over a year and it’s discouraged me and I haven’t really been using it because of the technical issues. I think I really just need some new batteries, but it takes like 4 batteries. Or 8 or 6? It takes a lot of batteries so I haven’t really shot with my medium format camera in a while. These images I took with 35mm and I haven’t done doubles this way in a long time. I’m very excited and happy with how they turned out, I think they’re incredible. Tiffany is always really easy to work with, she’s a model and photographer so she basically… just tell her your idea and she runs with it. She doesn’t ever really need much direction because she’s excellent at posing, she is one of my pose inspirations. She’s really creative and bendy and I love her funky poses that she sometimes does. I’m really happy with how these turned out. I have the whole photoset to share with you and the BTS video, so look for that! All members have access to all of that.
The first look members I have another photoset that’s self portraits that I took in Utah last summer that I’m sharing with first look. I’m sure you’ll love them, I love them a lot. They were also taken outside of Moab outside of Canyonlands. I’m pretty sure that’s where this set was taken. Yeah, similar to the other sets I’ve shared recently, I took a lot of sets off the side of the road basically. Beacuse the whole place, Utah itself is just fucking gorgeous. The whole state basically, the parts that I’ve been to, Southern Utah, the WHOLE of Southern Utah is very photogenic as you can see in my photos. I’m excited to share all that with you.
In terms of personal stuff recently, I’ve been working with Lior Allay and Roarie Yum on our going behind the scenes, no, going behind the le… why am I tongue tied right now? Probably because I was just on a 4.5 hour video call. GOING BEYOND THE LENS, our project community group, we’ve been working on getting ready for our next event which is Saturday the 19th at 1pm eastern if you want to join, it’ll be about BODY LANGUAGE. I’m pretty excited about this because I think I will also incorporate a little bit of energy medicine in this because it totally relates, because it’s our body. I’m excited about that, it’s something we’re working on. The invitation email went out today, which is Thursday, so if you’re on that list you’ll have already received it by the time this video is released. We’ve been talking about future plans and goals and I’m pretty excited about the stuff we’re working on. I’m so thankful that they’re working with me, both of them, because I greatly admire them and look up to them and really super appreciate all of the things that they have to offer, and the way they move about the world. I just.. they’re both incredible people and I’m so thankful to be able to work with them. It’s been a labor of love creating this community together and figuring out what works best for us and what we need to shift and update. It comes with its own challenges but it’s been incredible and I’m so thankful for everything we’ve been able to do so far and I’m very excited for what will come in the future. We have lots of ideas and I know that time will be needed in order to get to all the things we wanna do. I’m just… we have big plans and dreams and I’m so excited to share it with yall whenever those things actually happen. For now you can join us basically every month for a free event.
Body language on Saturday the 19th! Please join us! I’ll put a link down here! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE FREE EVENT!
That’s all I have to say for today. As you can tell I’m in a better mood right now than I probably was in the last couple videos. I’ve been doing energy medicine yoga pretty much every day for over a week and it has helped tremendously with my feels, my emotions, my stress. I think your September nude yoga video, I think it’s gonna be EM yoga, energy medicine yoga, and I think my mom will join me for it. So… look for that! Coming soon! Yeah that’s all I have to say today, this is already a 10 minute video. I love you so much! Thank you for being here! Each of you are so important to the world and I know that you all have gifts to share and I’m thankful that you’re here and paying attention to me for whatever reason you felt like doing that. It means a lot to me. I love you, thank you, and I’ll see you next week! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island, Washington during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset self portrait photoset of me with two Mesas in Utah -
Doubles with Tiffany Helms
Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island, Washington during my cross country road trip last summer
- 25 image complete photoset
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15.5 minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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29 image complete self portrait photoset of me with two Mesas in Utah
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 27th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Kristy Jessica/Pure Rebel had just gotten into town an hour or two before I picked her up. I drove us to my parents house (ok, you can probably tell I love being there and creating there) and I told her my ideas for our shoot. I had already prepped a roll of film by taking flower & nature images to double expose over. I wanted to take silhouettes to show off the doubles & the great lines and shapes I knew Kristy would create. She did some wonderful and strong yoga poses! I then got some crystals together and arranged them around her for the rest of our photos. We listened to Red Hot Chili Peppers while we shot. Afterward we walked around one of the ponds in the neighborhood before I drove her home. I enjoyed talking to her, she’s a smart, talented, and compassionate person.
It was so incredibly difficult to choose which pictures to post today! There are so many amazing ones, I hope you have the time to look through them all!
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I’ve added 2 behind the scenes timelapses from our shoot so don’t forget to check the video folder!
All members have access to this complete 36 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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Formations at Dusk Self Portraits
Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this self portrait photoset I took in Utah during my cross county road trip last summer
- 37 image complete photoset
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2 minutes of BTS video
- 19 minute video talking about reparations (content warning: I speak about injustice and violence toward BIPOC)
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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36 image complete double exposure photoset I took of Eva Luna & KH outside of Portland
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15.5 minutes of BTS video
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