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Butt changes
Last chance to see my butt the way it is! I’m getting it tattooed today and adding more to it, plus color, and I am EXCITED!
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Vlog about my experience filming for Nudism.TV!
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning! Well, it’s morning for me, I don’t know if it’s morning for you. I was just walking in my backyard and it’s chilly. I don’t have shoes on and I stopped just in time because there’s a big spider right over here and a spider web, but I almost walked straight into and I didn’t. I’m glad that I didn’t. Hi spider!
I wanted to talk to y’all about my trip I just came home from. Let’s see if I can get this to stay where it is. Yeah, I just came home yesterday. We drove all day home from Cleveland or filming for Nudism.TV with my family. Me, my mom, my dad, my sister. We shot for four days. Yeah, it was four straight days of filming, and it was really super fun. I had a great time. We filmed a whole lot of different segments. I did self-portraiture, I did one like gender and sexuality 101, my dad’s a segment on Bourbon. My sister did two segments on floral arrangements. My mom did a segment on cooking and energy healing, and several of them we like, some or all of us are part of each other segments for a lot of them. We did as a whole family, we did our family haircut, we did a segment on that. And I mean, I’ve already like talked to y’all about all the segments, because I did a little blog post on here already, but just wanted to speak it to you and talk about it. It was so fun.
The people there were super nice. Pasha is the person who’s like kind of the head of all of it. He actually, his wife had a baby while we were there, so that was cool. Cool for him. We didn’t get to spend much time with him because obviously he was like spending time with his wife and the new baby. Marisa is one of the people who helps get everything set up and she’s super sweet. She was there the whole time. She also helps like behind the camera with getting all the production stuff completed and she’s really nice. There’s Todd there, Todd was the like main camera person and getting everything like setup for all of the segments of shoots and everything.
They have a whole like a whole team of people working on this and it’s a whole big production and they’re shooting almost 5 days a week. Right now, today’s Halloween when I’m filming this… right now they have people booked through the end of December. So they’re like booked out through the rest of the year. They’re going to have quite a library once they actually release everything to, you know, on the website. Right now, the website is like, come visit us. Come be a part of it.
The official like… what do they call it? I will think of it but all the official stuff will go live sometime in 2022. So they’re building up their library right now. They’re gonna have quite a lot because even just with my family over four days, we filmed a fuck ton of different segments. The interview we did, it was broadcast live on their YouTube channel. I linked to it before but I’ll link it again in case you missed it. I’ll link it in the caption below if you want to watch our interviews from the first day.
(CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE INTERVIEWS ON YOUTUBE)
Yeah, it was super fun, I had a really great time. I did not realize how much shooting and like filming would exhaust me. It was so much fun, but it is very tiring to be in front of a camera like basically from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. four days a week.Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve been in front of a camera naked if it’s not my camera. But it’s a different kind of camera instead of a photo camera it’s a video camera. So I felt super awkward a lot. Like I sometimes struggle with my words in the first place and then being in front of a camera and feeling like I have to get it right, makes me feel even more awkward. So I hope that everything turned out well. I feel like I said “um” a lot, which I probably did and I did like, kinda struggle with figuring out what to say. And how to articulate things. Yeah, I hear myself saying “um” a lot in this too. I think it’s just if I’m going to be on camera and talking “um” is gonna happen. It was really super fun.
It’s kind of early morning. I just woke up maybe an hour ago. I just wanted to be outside even though it’s cold. So here I am outside my kigurumi, me naked underneath it kinda just staying warm. Maybe it’ll help if I got in the sunshine. But yeah, it’s I had a really great week. I am thankful for the opportunity to be a part of that. I’m really excited to see where it goes and how everyone else likes it once everything’s live. I think it was a really great opportunity and I’m really glad that there are people that are doing this because I think it’s really important to bring nudity to the world at a non-sexual way and to like destigmatize it because a lot of people think nudity and then automatically assume sex and that’s not the case. And also like you can have sex with a whole thing of clothes on. So nudity and sex are not like interrelated all the time. They can sometimes, but that’s not the whole thing. Like, nudity is just the state of dress or undress and has nothing to do with whether you’re having sex or not. So, yeah, I think it’s really important what they’re doing and I’m really glad that they’re doing it, and I got to be part of it.
So if you like to be naked and have hobbies and interests that you would like to share with Nudism.TV get in touch with me, send me an email. I can get you in touch with them. They’re super wonderful and I love what they’re doing. And I highly recommend. It was a great opportunity, a great experience for me, and my family, they all said that they had a great week and really enjoyed it and Nudism.TV, takes care of us. They covered our expenses. They got us a really nice airbnb. They paid us for our time. They fed us really well. It was a really great experience. They respect the people that they have working for them. So that’s really good. It’s not like they’re expecting people to do this for free. Yeah, it’s they’re… it’s great. It was a wonderful experience all around and I highly recommend it. So if you want to be a part of it, also, let me know. I can get you in touch with them. It will probably be some time in 2022 if you get to film because they’re already booked through the end of the year, but they do have plans of expanding their space, which is also really exciting because that means, maybe more people can be there at one time. And that means more like group naked things, which is like my favorite obviously because I love doing the nude gatherings. I’m hoping maybe one day I can do a nude gathering there like problem film like on camera filming like video. It would be really fun. I kind of talked to them a little bit about that and I’d like to talk to them more about that. Right now I just need to rest. I’m tired and I have some computer stuff to catch up on. So I didn’t even take my laptop. Yeah.
Thank you for being here. I love you so much. I’m really excited to continue being naked and doing all kinds of fun, creative, nude things. I’m sad that it’s getting cold. So that means I can’t be outside naked as much because it’s obviously not comfortable, it’s too cold. But yeah, I am so thankful that I have the life that I do and I’m doing what I’m doing and that you’re a part of it. So, thank you so much! I love you! MWAH
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I grew up around nudity / How AWESOME my family is
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I’m making this video immediately after the video I made for last week because I’m going to be out of town a lot this month and I wanted to make sure that I still had lots of things to share with you. So I’m preparing early. In this video I’m going to share the story of like how my family is cool with nudity. So, all the way back to the beginning, when I was I think it was before Elementary School even, me and my sister and my mom and my dad, we used to all have like family showers because everybody has a body and everybody needs to shower sometimes and like, why not do it together? And then once my sister and I got old enough to start going to school my dad stopped doing nude things with us because he was concerned of Child Protective Services being called on them or something, even though nothing like nefarious was going on. If me or my sister mentioned that we’ve seen our dads penis, somebody would have had like red flags and be like, what? So he didn’t want to risk it, which is understandable, but also sad, I guess that’s the world we live in. Rape culture is real. So even though it was totally innocent in our family, my dad just he didn’t want to risk it.
So growing up, my mom would like use the bathroom and not close the door. I knew early what periods were because she had a period And I like, me and my sister learned what that was early on before we even started our periods. Yeah, like nudity has never been that big of a deal in my house, in my family. We have always had really open discussions with my parents. They’ve always been of the mind of like, if you want to know something, then ask us and make sure you actually want to know the answer because we are going to answer. And if we don’t know the answer, we’re going to do our best to find the answer for you. But if it’s something you don’t really want to know the answer to, then don’t ask the question because we will answer it honestly.
I think that was a really big part of why nudity is really not a big deal for me and also why I find communication to be so important in relationships, which, I mean, even if I didn’t have that experience growing up, I still probably would think communication is very important, but I think that laid a foundation… I think I just saw a frog hop off of a leaf and onto another one! So cute! Okay, I’m gonna try not to be too distracted. I think that that foundation of communication and honesty in my family really set the foundation for my ability to communicate openly and honestly with people even about things that are difficult and complicated, I’m kind of the mind, I would rather over-communicate than under-communicate. I’d rather talk about something like five times than not talk about it at all. I want to be on the same page, or at least as at least in the same book, close to the same page.
So I started taking nude self portraits, probably before I was 18. I don’t have… I don’t have I have not shared any self portraits from before I was 18 on here. Don’t worry. You have not seen underage Bunny. The youngest I was in any of the photos that I’ve shared here I think, was either 18 or 20, so not to worry about that. I would not share those… actually I don’t, I would have to search to find the stuff from when I was younger. Yeah. I just started taking nude self portraits really early on when I got a camera. I was like taking photos of my friends nude. I’ve taken photos of my parents nude. I’ve taken photos of my sister nude. What else…
Once my sister and I got older like over 18, there was no more worry of child protective services, so my dad kind of stopped being super cautious about his nudity around us. So a regular occurrence here in this household is we will have haircut day. It’s usually on Sundays where we’ll get naked because who wants like tiny hairs all over their clothes? So we’ll get naked and we’ll, my mom will cut our hair. That’s where I get my nice haircut. My mom does it, I get the same hair cut my dad, he just gets more because he gets like his beard trimmed and stuff. So have haircut days and we’ll just like hang out naked in the kitchen and talk and chat and get out hair cut and then of course, like rinse off after because tiny little hairs, all over are very itchy and tickly.
And, Yeah, it’s no big deal to like…. I’m naked around the house all the time, like most days I either don’t get dressed at all or I will put clothes on like halfway through the day when I’ll have to go outside or something. Yeah, nudity is just not been a big deal. Like nudity for me is not attached necessarily to sexuality. You can be nude and not sexual and you can be sexual and clothed, so nudity and sexuality are not the same thing!!! And that was made clear to me through my upbringing. I’ve had a lot of experiences being naked around other people that were not sexual. And I think that, I think that that a lot of people have only been nude in sexual experiences and that’s why a lot of people associate nudity and sexuality the way that they do, but I don’t. They’re very different things and I hope that more people start to learn and believe that too.
Because, yeah, like I want nudity to not be this taboo, weird thing. It doesn’t need to be. Everybody has a body, like we’re all born naked. We all like, we all exist in these bodies that don’t have clothes on them until you put clothes on. So, yeah, I think nudity is wonderful. For me, It’s such a wonderful way to be in my body. I feel like I’m more connected to myself when I’m nude. I feel like I’m more able to connect to my surroundings and the earth when I nude. I’m more able to realize that I have a body when I’m nude because a lot of times I’m like in my head and don’t even… like I’m just like a floating brain and sometimes I need to be reminded that like, oh, hey, I also have a body and I also can feel things with this body, and I also need to take care of this body and it’s easier for me to realize that I have a body when I’m nude. It’s like moving around…. Oh, I feel my arms on my torso or like, wow. Okay. I feel my thighs rubbing together. I have a body! Remember? So yeah, I feel like I take better care of myself when I’m nude. I feel like I’m able to enjoy my body more when I’m nude.
So, yeah, that’s my nude story. Also, the week that I’m sharing this video, I will be in Cleveland, Ohio with my parents and my sister shooting for Nudism.TV, which I think is going to come out next year. So we’re going to be on TV naked as a family and I’m so excited!!! It’s gonna be so fun! I’m really excited to see how it turns out and have this experience with my family. I feel like there probably aren’t very many people that can say that they are naked with their family in general, and then I feel like of the people that can say that there might be even less that can say that they are going to be on TV naked with their family. So I feel really special and honored that we have this opportunity. I’m so excited! I think it’s gonna be really fun. Okay, I think that’s all I have to say to share right now.
So, I think that was probably also why it was pretty easy for me to get into the nude photography and modeling world, because nudity was already not this, like, scary thing for me, it was just like another part of life. So, I hope that if you have considered being naked around other people, I hope this encourages you to be able to do that. And if that’s too scary, don’t force yourself to do something that you’re not ready for. If you do want to have more nude existence in your life, it’s totally cool to start doing that just by yourself like in your room, sleep naked, dance naked, hang out, and do normal things, like eat breakfast, naked. It doesn’t have to be this big deal. It can just be a part of your life. If you want it to be. Also, if you prefer having clothes on, that’s super awesome too, everybody’s different. Everybody has different wants and needs and I hope that you do what is best for you. Yeah, okay. I love you! Have a great day! Thanks for being here! I’ll see you later. Bye!
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Day 4 filming for Nudism.TV
Last day on set for Nudism.TV! Today Mama, Gemini and I did a cooking segment, then we did a segment where Mama cut my hair and Daddy’s hair. The last segment we did was a charades type game 😊
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Day 3 filming for Nudism.TV
Today my whole family (Mama, Daddy, my sister Gemini + I) did a segment on meditation, then Mama, Gemini + I did a segment on energy healing. Daddy did a solo segment about bourbon, + then all 4 of us did a segment of activities + games 😊
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Day 2 filming for Nudism.TV
Today I did a segment about gender + sexuality with my mom. I’m glad she was there to ask some questions and give her perspective. After that segment, I did a quick how-to on self portraiture including a demonstration. 😊
My sister Gemini filmed a segment on floral design for bouquets and a segment on creating flower crowns, with me + mommy there to ask questions. Afterward Gemini and I did a segment on consent + negotiations for a rope bondage session.
It was a full day and lots of fun! Now I’m ready to relaxxxxx and do nothing.
Watch our livestreamed interviews from yesterday on Nudism.TV‘s YouTube channel by clicking here!
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Day 1 filming for Nudism.TV
My family and I are in Cleveland Ohio to be a part of Nudism.TV‘s programming that’s coming out in 2022. It’s been really great so far! They’ve put us up in a really nice airbnb 5 minutes from the studio and we’ve been doing interviews since 9am. Everyone here is so nice and personable and they fed us delicious vegan food for lunch. We’re here filming through Friday!
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My Queer/Coming Out Story!
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So, recently, I think it was the 10th or 11th it was National Coming Out day, so I thought I would share my queer story with you! So if you’re new here and don’t know much about me, I am queer, I’m trans, I’m agender, I’m ecosexual, I’m, I guess I would also say bisexual… labels don’t quite fit me properly, so I’ve found that queer and ecosexual fit me the best. So usually it’s just easier for me to be like, I’m queer. I’m trans. I’m non-binary. I’m queer. Yeah, so like, I like labels to help people understand me better, but also I find labels to be limiting sometimes because as soon as you put a label on something, then there’s usually a lot of assumptions that come along with that. So yeah, that’s like a short synopsis of my thoughts on labels, but for coming out day, which was recently… this month. Yeah. I want to share my like queer story with you!
If I knew more about queerness, and if I had more queer friends that were out when I was younger, even though I did have some out queer friends when I was in high school. If I had more education before the time that I did, I probably would have come out sooner or like actually realize things about myself sooner, because the hardest part of coming out is coming out to yourself and like realizing that you’re queer in the first place, so I didn’t really realize or come out until I was 29 years old, which was two years ago in 2019.
I could have maybe connected the dots way years before, but I think my being married to a man a cis man for over five years and a relationship with him for over 10 years kind of, I don’t want to say prevented me from realizing my queerness, but I think it I think it encouraged my…. How do I put this? I think it encouraged my not knowing for a while, like it was easy to just be like yeah, I’m straight and I’m a woman because I married the man and I’m happy in this relationship. If you’re new here, also, I’m divorced. Officially divorced in 2020. We’re still friends. But it took really, it took me being on my cross country road trip by myself in 2019 to really have the time and space to be with myself and really start to understand myself on a deeper level before I realized that I was queer. Looking back… looking back there were a lot of signs that I was queer way before then.
I just didn’t put it together and I was like, I’m a tomboy. So before I realized I was queer, I always wanted a penis. Ideally a retractable one so it was there when I wanted, but I would like disappear when I didn’t want it. Still dreaming! Still hoping maybe one day I’ll have it. Yeah, even as a kid, I would like pretend I had a penis. And like put spoons in my pants to like make them poke out so it seemed like I had a penis. My sister reminded me of this because I totally had forgotten. I always really loved shopping in the boys section of stores. I definitely had, queer friends. I was a very opinionated and loud ally to queer people for like forever. I had a Love Is Love shirt in like high school that I made myself. So, I mean there were signs and of course like everyone’s… everyone’s life is different. So maybe you have done the same things and you’re like straight and cis, and that’s totally cool too, like everyone is different. Only you can know if you’re queer or not, but for me, those were signs.
So, okay, in March of 2019, we had, me and my now ex-husband had the, let’s get a divorce conversation and he moved out of state in May, mid-May of 2019, and at the end of May of 2019 I started my two month solo cross country road trip and then mid-August after I came home it was like maybe a week after I got home. No mosquito not here for you. I at that point, my hair was to my elbows and I was fucking sick of it. For my whole life I had long or long ish hair, and I kind of overly identified with it. But by the time, like I was living in a van and being in the desert mostly for two months.
Squirrel! Did you see? I just got fucking sick of my hair. So I came home and I asked my mom to shave my head. And she didn’t really want to because she was scared that I wouldn’t like it, but she did it anyway because I wanted it and I asked her to and she was like, okay, who am I to say that you can’t have a shaved head? And so she shaved it for me. There’s a video of that whole… the whole thing. The whole experience of me getting my head shaved for the first time ever. I have that video, I’ll have to find it and link it for y’all, but there’s a whole video, it’s like 20 minutes long. I have a short version too that’s like two minutes, but it’s really special. That was like, I’m very big moment in my queer awakening. So my mom shaved my head here in the backyard. We were naked and it was wonderful. And at the end, I was like, oh shit. I look like a little boy. And I was super happy.
(CLICK HERE FOR THE 20 MINUTE HAIRCUT VIDEO)
(CLICK HERE FOR THE 2 MINUTE SHORT VERSION OF THE HAIRCUT VIDEO)
And then within like, a couple of days of that, I was walking at the park with my sister and I like confessed to her my gender feelings and she totally affirmed that for me and reminded me of some of the signs of my queerness when I was a kid that I didn’t even remember, and she’s like, yeah that I mean, it totally makes sense that you’re not binary because like you kind of have always been like that and she’s like, of course. So that was really amazing and I’m so thankful for her for being immediately supportive of me. So that evening, I texted a bunch of my family, like, hey, I realized I’m non binary. Can you please use they/them pronouns for me? And after that, I came out on social media and Yeah, been like that ever since. Yeah, so that’s the shortish version of my Queer Journey.
Yeah. I’m just happy thinking about it because I feel so much more myself and I have the vocabulary and the knowledge to be able to be like, okay, I know myself better than I ever did at this point and that feels really good. My parents are really wonderful. My mom, like she came up with this word that I love because she was like, if I can’t call you my daughter anymore, how do I… How do I introduce you to friends and stuff? Like, I don’t want to say my child because you’re an adult. She like what? How do I describe you? I was like, I donno, you’re heir? Child of your womb? Your adult child? I don’t know. And she came up with the word sproutling, which I love and my sister also likes it too. So we’re just, we’re their Sproutlings. So, that makes me super happy. Like even if there isn’t a word for what you’re trying to say, you can make one up!
So if you’re in the closet or if you’re out of the closet, or if you’re questioning your gender or your sexuality or your identity in any way, I’m proud of you and I hope that you do it in your own time. There’s no rush and you can always change. People change their labels all the time. Like we’re not static, like human beings are always changing and we’re always growing and learning and to expect someone to always be the same is to not fully know them. And it’s to not like hold them in their complexity and their wholeness. So yeah, you are worthy, whether you have a label for yourself or not. You are amazing and wonderful and you are loved. Okay. Thank you for being here. I just want to share that story with you. I know some of you who’ve been here for a while, probably have already heard it, but I figured I’d share because National Coming Out day was recently and it was fitting. I love you!
Photos my sister Gemini took during the life changing haircut:
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Why Self Portraits Are Important To Me
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I thought that since I have the self portrait workshop coming up at The Light Factory on October 23rd here in Charlotte, in person. So this will be my first in-person Workshop in a few years, I’m very excited! But since I have that coming up, I wanted to talk about self portraits and why I take them and why they’re important to me.
So to give you a little back story, if you’re new. Wow, these mosquitoes are coming after me right now. If you’re new here, I’ve been taking self-portraits since 2010, maybe a little bit before. Actually, definitely before since I got a camera when I was 16, so that was in what? 2006? 2007? 2006… 2006. So even though I was probably taking naked self portraits before I was 18 that I will not share because I was underage and that’s really creepy for other people to see.
Self portraits have been really important to me. At first, when I was younger, when I first started taking photos at first, it was just, I was the easiest subject to find for my photos. I didn’t have to have another person with me to take photos of them. I could just take photos of me to practice and learn my camera. But as time went on, I learned that I somehow felt more connected to myself when I took self portraits. I feel like I could learn more about myself and experience my emotions in a deeper way through self portraiture.
And I think that’s because a lot of times when I’m feeling something and experiencing something I don’t have a mirror or camera in front of me, so it’s all kind of abstract like in my head and in my mind and in my body with like the way that I was feeling… but once I started taking self-portraits, the way that I felt became something that I could see and seeing it helped me experience it more.
I don’t know if you have heard of aphantasia, but I have aphantasia, which is where you don’t have a Mind’s Eye. So I can imagine things, but I can’t see anything when I’m thinking about it. Like I can’t see anything in my head, I can’t visualize. I can like, remember what things are like, because I’ve seen them before and I like, remember it, but I don’t actually see anything in my head. I can’t like, oh, I’m going to imagine a unicorn with rainbow hair and sparkles and it’s going to be prancing across on a rainbow.
Like, I can think about those things, but I can’t see them in my head. And it took me a while to realize that that’s not a normal thing… or well, okay, maybe I don’t want to say that. It took me a while to realize that people could actually see things in their head and I couldn’t. Self portraiture, since I don’t visualize self portraiture helps me actually like make the things that I think about or the ways that I feel more tangible and more real, because I can see them because a lot of times things don’t quite feel real if I’m just thinking about them. But once it’s something that’s visible and tangible than it becomes a lot more real to me.
And I, I got into a much deeper relationship with myself through self portraiture when I was on my cross country road trip in 2019. I was going through a lot like, personally, emotionally, romantically. Yeah, mentally, like life things were pretty wild. That was during my Saturn return. If you’re into astrology, at all, you know that a Saturn Return usually like turns your life upside down, or it can.. and it definitely turned mine upside down. So, I was processing a lot of feelings and a lot of like, Unknown. And I was able to process in a much deeper way because I took so many self portraits on that road trip.
And I learned so much about myself. I mean, if you’ve been around since then, you know that I realized I was non binary like right after I came home from that trip. It really helped me get to know myself and understand myself on a deeper level, through actually being in my body and allowing myself to feel all my feelings while I was taking self portraits and then looking through them later, realizing oh wow, I’m a real person, I have real feelings, and I can see that, and I can like experience that all over again when I look at the photos. So self portraits mean a lot to me. They have allowed me to connect to myself in a deeper way than I ever have been able to before.
And I took a bunch of self-portraits either at the end of 2020 or early 2021 that I haven’t gone through yet, that I’ve talked about already, that I have a members only like webinar hangout thing where we’re gonna go through them together. I’ve already scheduled it, you’ll get a post about it when it’s coming up, I have like notifications that I’ll come onto the website to remind you like hey, this is happening soon! So that’ll be in like mid-November (the 18th at 6pm EST!).
But those self portraits took that we’ll be looking through are really emotional and really personal to me and I’m feeling emotional thinking about them. Yeah, I really let myself feel all of my feelings when I was taking those photos and it was kind of scary and it was definitely vulnerable and I’m kind of nervous to share them with you, especially in their raw form where I haven’t done anything to them and can see all of them. But I’m also kind of excited, because I don’t really want to hide myself from y’all, like you’re supporting me so much by being here, so the least I can do is not hide myself from you.
So, I hope you join me in November (the 18th at 6pm EST!) when we go through those photos together because it’s going to be scary, but it’s gonna be awesome! They’re pretty dark, and I definitely cried when I was taking them, and yeah, it’s gonna be a lot but it’s going to be great.
To give you a little tiny bit more information about them before I end this video. I took them in my sister’s house after she moved out, and it was empty, before she sold it. And that’s where I was living when a lot of not-so-great things happened to me, and I had some not so great experiences there, so it was like my Releasing that house and the feelings that I felt in that house through feeling my feelings and taking self portraits in the house once it was empty. So it was a great release for me. And yeah, I’m laughing because I’m like trying to hold back tears.
Yeah, so I feel like self portraits are really important for me personally, in order to more fully embody how I feel and to more fully experience my life through creating them. So I hope you have enjoyed this video of me being kind of emotional and talking about self portraits. Yeah.
I think that’s all I have to say right now. I really appreciate that you’re here. It means the world to me. I couldn’t do any of this without you, so I appreciate you and I hope you enjoy what I share. I love you!
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Thoughts on Creativity + Inspiration
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends, I don’t have any very big news or anything to tell you this week, so I just thought I would talk about creativity and inspiration. I know that the poll that I’ve put on here a couple of times, like the survey thing, a lot of you have answered, the most common answer has been in terms of what you’re interested in seeing from me is creativity and inspiration and art, photography + self-portraiture. That kind of thing, so, I just wanted to talk about what creativity means to me and how I find inspiration, if you’re interested.
So for me, creativity is something that all humans have inside of them. I also would argue that most living beings like, human and non-human can be creative. There’s a bug. I think this is a kind of ladybug, maybe like the larva or whatever… maybe, let’s see if it’ll like I don’t want to get too distracted, put it on the leaf. Okay, so I believe that humans and non-humans have the capacity to be creative.
I know, it’s probably easy for you to imagine humans being creative so my argument for non-humans being creative is… have you ever seen a spider web? Have you ever seen a plant that has grown around things that maybe it shouldn’t even be able to grow in that place at all? Have you ever seen a bird’s nest? Have you ever seen a flower? I feel like maybe creativity is our ability to, build and create things. Whether they’re useful to us, or not, whether it’s for a purpose, or just because we felt like it.
I feel like, we are all so capable of creating a number, you know, any number of wonderful things. Maybe it’s capitalism and white supremacy and colonialism and imperialism and patriarchy and all of those things that has like, infiltrated some of our minds and hearts and made us feel like we’re not creative or we’re not worthy of creating something or we don’t have time to create something or what we create isn’t good enough. And I’m here to say that that’s a lot of fucking bullshit! Like life has existed for… I don’t even fucking know how long. Thousands, ten thousands, millions of years. Like the first single-celled organisms that ever existed when there wasn’t even land here is was just like all water. Their like breath their breathing, their like, their ability to sustain themselves, like stay alive, is why there’s so much oxygen in the atmosphere right now, the reason that we are able to be alive, like It’s kind of mind-blowing.
When you really think about everything that it took for us to be here in the first place. Like a whole lot of things had to happen first, a lot, like a fuck ton, like millions of years of things had to happen in order for us to be here right now. And if that isn’t creative, then I don’t know what is. I feel like life, like the existence of life itself is creative. So if you ever feel like you’re not creative or you can’t create something or what you create isn’t good enough, please watch this video and let me tell you that you are creative.
Your work is good enough. What you create is important, whether you share it with other people or not. That part doesn’t matter. Social media makes us think that we have to share everything with everybody, but social media hasn’t been around for that long and artists have been around since…. forever. People were drawing on cave walls before we were even like living in houses. We are creative. We are alive. Therefore we are creative. So, I hope you remember that.
And I also wanted to talk about inspiration, so if that little talk isn’t enough for inspiration for you, I invite you to go outside and just sit under a tree somewhere, and listen and see what you notice… either inside of yourself or outside of yourself. Whatever is available to you. Use all of your senses. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you smell, you taste, what can you touch?
And how do those things move you? How do you feel when you experience those things? What do those things make you want to share with other people, or what do those things make you want to remember in yourself for yourself?
I feel like inspiration can be anywhere. It can be the physical world around us. It can be our emotions and the things that are inside of us. It can be an experience that we have with a friend. It can be an experience that we have with a non-human friend.
Yeah, I really feel like creativity is everywhere, so inspiration is also everywhere, and honestly, I don’t always have inspiration when I create. Sometimes it comes as I’m creating, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes it’s the act of like, getting my camera out, setting stuff up, figuring out. You know, where do I even want to point the camera? What I want to take a picture of? Do I want to be in the picture? If I do, how do I want to feel or look, or pose, or what things do I want to have around me when I’m in the picture? Sometimes, like the act of starting to create brings the inspiration to me or the inspiration maybe reveals itself to me as I’m in the process.
So you don’t necessarily have to have an inspiration before you start. I don’t think, my opinion. I’ve been doing this for over… over 11 years. Yeah, there doesn’t always have to be purpose. It can be just because you are bored and want to do something that’s not staring at a screen and like mindlessly scrolling, which is sometimes why I take photos. Maybe you just want to allow yourself to feel and sometimes the only way to do that is to be in front of a camera, and capture it… that’s definitely something that I experience. Sometimes you want to remember how you felt or how you looked for who you were with, and those are wonderful reasons to create.
Yeah, I hope if you have felt like you are not creative or like you don’t have inspiration, I hope this video helped, even though it’s very vague. But also like kind of specific at the same time. Yeah, that’s just, that’s how I feel about creativity and inspiration. I feel like they’re always around us all the time and we are able to tap into them simply by our existence, so I hope this helped you. I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you soon.