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Personal update: residencies + nerve injuries
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CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I don’t know why I didn’t sit very comfortably… actually. I do know why I didn’t sit very comfortably, because things are wet, but I wanted to be outside, so I’ll be sitting weirdly to try to not get too wet. I have some I guess news to share. It’s not really news? I have been working on an application for a residency in Virginia that would be a month in the spring. I want it so muuuuuch! So I’ve been working on it a lot this last week and I’m close to being finished with it. I’m getting some more feedback from people that I value their opinions. So taking that into consideration. I have some more edits to do but I’m really excited and I’m pretty happy with it so far. And I really, really, really, really, really, really hope that I get this residency. It would be perfect. It’s an hour from Shenandoah, so you know I would be spending a lot of time there! Yeah, so I really hope I get it! I’m really excited, working really hard on it, so hopefully that will happen.
(CLICK HERE TO SEE THE IMAGES IM SUBMITTING)
Another new thing. I had a routine STI test because you know, safe sex is hot! And the third time in my life I have a nerve injury. Yay… That’s a very sarcastic yay if you couldn’t tell. Wow, there’s a lot of mosquitoes! I’m not gonna be out here for too long. Okay, so I got my blood drawn in the usual place, you know the crook of your arm, and as soon as the needle went in I knew they nicked a nerve because I felt it like electricity down my hand, down my arm and into my hand. So it’s like the section here and then into the bottom of my thumb, is randomly has lightning strikes in it of pain and little random places of tingly and numbness.
I’m apparently prone to getting nerve injuries. If you were here in 2016, you knew about the wrist drop that I had for three months where I like, couldn’t lift my wrist like this. I couldn’t make a thumbs up and I couldn’t open, I couldn’t expand my fingers all the way. It was on my right hand, which is my dominant hand. I might link to it, if you want to see it. It’s been a really long time, but for three months, I didn’t have use of my right hand. I mean, obviously, I do now, but it was pretty scary. Nerve injuries are not fun.
(CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO OF ME WITH WRIST DROP MAY 2016)
But in 2019, the same thing happened with the blood draw. I had a blood draw and it was the same thing and I still have a little numb spot right here, from that in 2019. Luckily I don’t have the pain anymore, that part of the nerve has healed, but I still never regained the feeling in this little spot right here. So hopefully this feels and goes away quickly. It’s not fun, nerve injuries are weird.
I’m like surrounded by mosquitoes right now! Holy moly. Okay. Try to move to make them not land on me. Please don’t, I don’t want you sucking my blood! Yeah. So those are the main new things happening in my life. I’m going camping next week, I’m really excited! I get to see my friend and then I have a whole lot going on in October.
Yeah, I still have a whole bunch of self portraits that I took last year I think, or also some this year, but I have a whole bunch of self portraits that I’ve taken more recently that I haven’t had the energy to go through them because there’s so many and it’s kind of overwhelming and I want to, like, pare them down to my favorites, but I’m just overwhelmed by how many there are so I haven’t really looked at them, but I do have them and I need to look through them. It’s just very daunting to me right now at this point. Mosquitoes, goodness! I will have more self portraits for you at some point soon hopefully, I just need to take the time to look through them.
Actually, you know what might be fun? Maybe we can do a thing where you look through them with me and it’s like a co-working thing, except you just tell me which photos are your favorites. Maybe we will do that at some point. I need to like, find the time schedule that because that might actually be really fun. And y’all might like that. I don’t know, but it will definitely help me look through those photos if I had some friend accountability to do it. It’s just so… I it’s like overwhelming because there’s too many to look at and I feel like I need to do it all in one sitting. Maybe that’s my problem is I feel like I need to do it all in one sitting, why do I feel that way?
(I HAVE A SURVEY BELOW WHERE YOU CAN SHARE FEEDBACK!)
Oh my gosh mosquitoes, oh a squirrel! Okay, I’m getting it distracted now. I’ve talked about the important things. It’s already been 5 minutes. Okay. I just want to say y’all are amazing. I am thinking about you all the time. I am stressed out by computer work things, which is why I haven’t been posting that much recently. I think about you all the time and I want to figure out a way to be more consistent and like, actually share things on here that is sustainable for me. Because being on the computer for hours a day is not my favorite thing. It stresses me out a lot and it’s not enjoyable. So I need to figure out how to do things in a way that I’m still able to share with you, but it doesn’t require as much time on the computer.
So, if you have any ideas, I’m definitely open to that because I really want to share more with you and spend more time with you. Maybe I maybe instead of having Vlogs, we can just hang out live because that to me doesn’t take as much energy. That’s more fun than just like sitting at a desk. Okay, Yeah. Into feedback! I love you all so much! Thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you soon!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.
Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.
What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?
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To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.
All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.
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Thankful
Three years ago on May 22nd 2016, I had the experience of my first real shibari suspension, which in itself was really special and magickal. It put me in a headspace I had never been in, and it was a powerful way to connect with a new friend I made while at an artists retreat. The rigger who tied me was very practiced and knowledgeable and we discussed limits and safety beforehand, and even with those precautions the shibari suspension resulted in me sustaining a major injury to the radial nerve on my right arm. That nerve damage caused me to have wrist drop for 3 months. That means I had no use of my (dominant) right hand for THREE MONTHS. I was inexperienced and wasn’t cautious enough or listening to my body enough to realize I was damaging my radial nerve. I know better now, I know how to check myself periodically to make sure everything in my body is still good, and I know how to better communicate with the person tying me. Honestly, I would definitely do a shibari suspension again, even after being injured during my first experience, but I will probably never do a TK again, which was the tie my arms were in that caused the injury after being in it for too long. The nerves in my arms and wrists are just too fragile to be in that kind of tie.
I’m bringing this up because its coming up on the 3 year anniversary of this happening, and also because I just found a BUNCH more photos (200+) from that day that I’ve uploaded to an archived folder, which you can view by clicking here if you’re a photo member.
If you’re a video member, click here to watch the video I made showing how my wrist/hand was impacted by wrist drop.
I’m so thankful that I regained the use of my right hand, that it only impacted my life for a short amount of time (3 months was a long time when it was happening but in the grand scheme of things is really not that long), and that I gained a new perspective and knowledge because of it.
Be thankful for what you have because it’s not guaranteed forever.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!