CAPTION FOR THE ABOVE VIDEO:

Hello! So this week I am sharing (oh, it’s very muddy in my yard) I’m sharing a couple of photosets that are self portraits that I took, probably a couple years ago honestly, it’s been a little bit, from when I was traveling by myself in the mountains of North Carolina. It was probably 2018 or 2019. I got a spiderweb on my phone! Also I just got this fancy stabilizer for my cell phone which is why it looks so good and I’m not bouncing you around everywhere! Yeah so, these photosets, I really like them, it’s just me spending time out near waterfalls in NC which is one of my favorite things to do! I’m rolling up my pants so I don’t get them wet, we’ve had a lot of rain here and the ground is still pretty wet.

For the First Look members I’m sharing the double exposure photoset that I took of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island outside of Seattle Washington from my trip last summer. Let’s see what else? I’ve been doing a little bit more computer work the last couple of days which I’m kindof excited about because I’m getting closer to doing things that I want to do. Today I just posted (today is Thursday, I usually do these on Thursdays) I posted Energy Medicine/Energy Healing 101 to my instagram story and I saved it as a highlight so if you go to my instagram you can still find it even if it’s gone from my story. I think it’s pretty cool, I’m excited about doing these educational video things, well actually that wasn’t a video but, I have a lot of knowledge, I know a bunch of different things, I’ve been learning a lot of various healing things over the years and I’m excited to share them with more people. The healing things I’m probably most excited about, but I love photography and that kind of thing too, and witchy stuff. I’m looking forward to sharing a bunch of my knowledge with people and I feel like sharing that information for free through my instagram and youtube channel is beneficial to everyone so I’m looking forward to doing more of that. I feel like I’m starting to get kindof a plan of the things I want to do. The next thing I’m gonna go over is witchy things and rituals and stuff, after that I’m going over gender, and after that I’m going over ecosexuality more, even though I already have June and July every Monday on my youtube channel I’ll be going over ecosexuality and another topic, looking at the topic through the lens of ecosexuality such as sex, gender, attraction, consent, money, spirituality, so I have a bunch of those coming up in June and July on my youtube channel for my lives on Mondays. I’m really excited about those because I’m so obsessed with ecosexuality and I want to share it with everyone! I think that’s going to be a really good way to spread information about ecosexuality is through youtube.

So I feel like I’m starting to have a little bit more of a plan of things I want to do so that feels good. A lot of what I want to do is share information freely with people without having a paywall between them and the information that I have. But I also at the same time do need to make money so that I can live. Literally the money I make from my website is how I pay my bills. I really enjoy spending time with yall on Thursdays and I think that’s a big benefit to being a patron/member, is you get to support me and we get to hang out every week! Which, I really love that. I’ve been enjoying that. I feel like the last several weeks I’ve just had us hang out and talk and not had a topic or  thing to do or activity. I might start having planned activities or specific topics to talk about so it’s not just chit chatting the whole time. I don’t know, I really like hanging out and talking to yall so I might just stick to that, but I don’t know if yall are maybe getting not necessarily bored, but you might want more out of those Thursday hangouts than what we’re doing so far. I know we talked several weeks ago or more like a month or so ago, about different things that I could do for the Thursday chats and I do really like the idea of planning out what I’m going to do but at the same time I don’t want to hold myself to this really rigid schedule either. Especially since it’s with yall and you might not always want to talk about the topic that I have or whatever. I like that they’ve been really organic and whatever comes up we talk about, but I’m also open to having more structure at the same time.

I just noticed that there’s a Magnolia flower starting to bloom on the Magnolia tree and that makes me really excited and happy. It’s really muggy and hot out here, it’s been raining for about a week and a half, just about every day, it’s not raining today which is why I’m outside and I’m very excited about it but I expect that it’s going to be raining some more over the next couple of days because that’s what the forecast has said. Maybe that tropical storm is still at the coast of NC, I don’t know, I know that it’s been there for a while but I don’t know how fast it’s moving.

So, if you have any topics of conversation that you want to discuss on Thursdays let me know. I probably might do a self portrait session during one of them at some point. I’m not sure if I’m quite ready for self portraits again yet, just because maybe I’ve stressed myself out about it enough that I haven’t been doing it, and like oohh I need to do it.

Not this weekend but next weekend I’m taking the whole weekend to myself, the 5-7th, the first weekend of June. It’s kinda a big weekend for me emotionally so I’m being extra gentle with myself. Plus I think there’s a full moon eclipse that Friday, I’m pretty sure, I need to look it up again but I think that Friday is a full moon eclipse. So I feel like energetically and emotionally it’s going to be a big deal for me and I’m looking forward to not doing any work and just focusing on self care and doing things that feel good to me. I also have planned to do a bunch of mushrooms! Because I fucking love mushrooms and I learn more about myself every time and I feel like I get a deeper connection with myself and the universe and the Earth and nature and my understanding of the world every time I do them and I just… fucking love mushrooms. I’ve never taken a really big dose, I’ve always just microdosed, which has worked really well for me. I’ve had, every single trip I’ve had has been really good spiritually, emotionally, and physically enlightening and positive for me. My sister however has had more bad trips than good trips but I think she’s had bigger doses than I have and that might have contributed. The worst I’ve ever felt when I’ve taken mushrooms was a little bit of a belly ache because sometimes the psilocybin in the mushrooms doesn’t do super well in your stomach, but for me that hasn’t been anything really negative at all. The benefits very far outweigh the negatives for me. Yeah I love mushrooms! I might make some content when I’m doing that self care weekend, I haven’t decided yet. Just depends on how I feel, I don’t want to pressure myself. I don’t do well with expectations or pressure so I don’t want to do that to myself, it’s not nice. That’s another reason why I super appreciate the people in my life that don’t put expectations or pressure on me because they know how much I despise it and how much it makes me want to do the opposite of whatever it is I’m “supposed to do” so I really appreciate everyone who doesn’t put expectations or assumptions on me because that’s like the worst thing ever for me.

So how do you like this smooth video? I really love this stabilizer so far. It is a little heavy to hold, but I won’t be doing 30 minute videos with it or anything. Plus it came with a mini tripod, it’s really adorable, so I could just put it on a tripod. Since I have this stabilizer I’ll be making more dynamic videos and more videos that aren’t just static and are actually moving around and stuff. Combining videos to make more artistic short videos that have some movement and some static video in it. I’m not really looking forward to the computer work that it will require, but I think once I finish my backlog of videos, I think I only have 4 or 5 left, then I wont be as stressed about making video content because it’ll be like well I just made this one thing and it’s the only thing I have to edit instead of I made this thing that is piling on top of all of the other things that I already still have to edit.

This is a long video already and I want to get started on prepping the post for this weekend and I’ve said basically all the things I want to say. I love you so much, thank you for being here. I appreciate that you support me even when I don’t know what I’m doing. It means a whole lot to me that you’re along for the ride. I love you so much! I’ll talk to you next week!

Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset in the NC mountains (Shadowed Falls)
click here to view the full self portrait photoset in the NC mountains (Bright Waterfall)
click here to view the Earth connection meditation video
click here to watch the 13 random videos

First Look members:
click here to view the double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
click here to view the BTS video

Click here for the gallery passwords