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Ecosexual Time Capsule ❤ self portrait edition part 2
I have so many self portraits from my cross country road trip that I felt like I needed to make a whole post just for some of my faves from that trip ❤ Massive photo post!!
2019 in Colorado
2019 in Utah
2019 in Nevada
In this last image someone was driving up + I looked at the camera right before I scrambled to grab my stuff…
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Ecosexual Time Capsule ❤ part 1
Before I started focusing on nude photography, I took a lot of photos like this:
These are from 2010-2012…. did you notice that this ^^^ is a POPLAR TREE?! ❤❤❤
My giant tattoo is a Poplar, in case you didn’t know 😍
Then once I found the nude art/traveling creator community online, I really dove into creating nude images, + started seriously sharing them in 2014.
Here’s me in a wildflower field off the side of a highway in NC, 2015!
On the side of a mountain in NC, 2016
At a trail near my apartment, 2016
In the woods near my apartment, 2016
In May of 2016 I lost the use of my right hand for 3 months, + during that time went on a road trip to Utah with Antisocialdisposition
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Ecosexual memes!!
I was sharing memes on instagram that included nude images but deleted them all when ig did their most recent update to the terms of service because I was scared of getting my account deleted AGAIN. My original account with 22.6k followers got deleted in October 2018 and I never got it back, so I really would like that to NOT happen again.
I still love the memes that I made and want to share them, so here are some of the ones that I used to have on my ig before I deleted them!
Original caption:
I first heard about ecosexuality through Charles Eisenstein’s essay “The Ecosexual Awakening” and ever since then my life has changed. I now see my entire life through an ecosexual lens. I truly believe that ecosexuality can assist in healing our society and our world.
I personally avoid saying “mother Earth” because mothers are (unfortunately, thanks to patriarchy) frequently exploited. It’s assumed that mothers are required to do all or most of the housework, cooking, childcare, etc and their work usually is unpaid and unappreciated. I have no intention of doing this to my actual mother or to the Earth.
My relationship to the Earth is one of reverence, worship, wonder, and love. I view the Earth as a best friend, teacher, partner, and lover. I strive to live my life in loving relationship to the Earth and receive such immense pleasure from simply being with and spending time with the Earth.
The Earth is sacred. We must treat it as sacred.
Photo, model + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah during my 2019 cross country road trip)
Original caption:
I personally use both ecosexual and demisexual as my primary sexual and romantic identities. Ecodemisexual maybe? Can I make that a thing? I think I will! It’s my own label so I am able to use what works best for ME.
If you consider yourself an ecosexual, you’re able to use that label in the way that works best for you. Anyone who says you SHOULD or HAVE TO use a label doesn’t have the right to do that, only you get to decide what label(s) work(s) best for you. The label(s) you use may or may not change over time, and that’s okay! Only you know what label(s) describe you best. How you identify is up to you, not anyone else.
Do you consider yourself an ecosexual? I have a feeling that more people probably are than they realize, simply because most people aren’t aware of what ecosexuality is. The understanding of labels makes it easier for us to know which ones are right for us.
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Ecosexuality as an identity/label covers a broad range of experiences and in my opinion can be used to describe many different things about someone. For example: sexual attraction to others (including the Earth) while also covering a range of sexual desires (from asexual to allosexual), the importance of ecological health and healing to an individual, and their understanding of the interconnectedness of all beings, creatures, ecosystems, and life on Earth.
For me, as an agender trans person, most sexuality labels didn’t feel like they fit me because of the gender component of a lot of LGBTQIA+ labels, some are too narrow and some are too broad. It took me a long time to find a label that fit me, that felt GOOD to use and felt TRUE to my lived experience. Ecosexuality allows me to explain my attraction to others in a way that includes the nuance of my gender, my demisexuality, and my passion and love for the Earth.
To be specific, I am ecodemi, and for me that means I am attracted to people of many gender expressions, and it’s the connection and interaction that I have with them, and the way they show up in the world, that determines my attraction to them.
Your specific definition of your ecosexuality may be similar to mine, or it may be completely different. That’s the beauty and magic of ecosexuality, as long as it includes the Earth as a lover, it can mean something different for each of us.
What’s your flavor of ecosexuality? Comment below, I’d love to hear your perspective/experience!
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
Have you ever seen a flower dripping with dew on a spring morning and marveled at its beauty and eroticism, feeling the urge to put your mouth on its delicate petals?
Have you ever felt your body come alive after jumping naked into a river, flushed with excitement and pleasure?
Have you ever become aroused while surrounded by a forest of tall thick trees, their presence changing something deep inside of you?
Do you yearn for the warmth of the sun’s rays on your skin, the cool squish of mud between your toes, the gentle breeze softly reminding you that we all exist on an Earth that offers infinite sensual pleasures?If you feel a connection to any of those questions, or a longing for these sensual experiences, you might be an ecosexual.
What is your favorite way to connect to the erotic, sensual Earth?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
I want to talk about two topics that honestly deserve their own individual posts: sex and consent.
Let’s rethink our definition of what sex is. In this cisheteropatriarchal society, we are conditioned to believe that sex is P in V penetration. This definition excludes many people from the sex conversation, including but not limited to queer and disabled folks.
I invite us to redefine sex as any consensual, meaningful, pleasurable experience. This gives ALL of us room to define what sex is to us, individually. This means that a lot of us are probably having sex much more than we ever thought we were before.
Notice that this definition of sex includes CONSENT? This is extremely important, because if you don’t have consent, then it’s not sex, it’s rape.
Consent in relationship to the Earth is just as important as consent with people. It is possible to communicate with and receive consent from the Earth, it just doesn’t include the language that we are used to (verbal consent). Consent from the Earth may come in the form of an energetic pull or a felt sense knowing. It may come in the form of a dream or a whisper in the wind. It may come in the form of a being joining you in meditation to give you a message or a sign.
Consent with the Earth isn’t always as straightforward as consent with people. We have to listen harder, feel deeper, and trust that the Earth will share their message with us when they are ready. We must not rush, or push, or pry, or force. We must be quiet, and open to receive.
Have you received consent from the Earth? What was that experience like for you?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
Original caption:
If we have learned one thing from this pandemic, it’s that we are ALL interconnected. This doesn’t only involve the interconnectedness of people, but also our connection to animals, plants, insects, bacteria, forests, oceans, deserts, rivers. We all exist together on this planet, we are all connected, and we all influence each other whether we realize it or not.
Part of my personal ecosexuality is recognizing the impact of colonization, cisheteropatriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, racism, ageism, ableism (…all the -isms). Recognizing that these systems of oppression exist and impact each other and every one of us (including the Earth). As beings existing on this planet at this time we are all a part of these systems, whether we realize it or not, whether we see the direct impact we make or not.
This also means that we each individually have the potential to make POSITIVE CHANGE in ourselves and our communities, which in turn impacts the rest of the planet. Every action and every inaction adds up for each and every one of us.
Imagine what the world would be like if we all collectively chose to live in right relationship with the Earth and each other. If we all actively put in the work to decolonize societies and the planet. If we all live from a heart-centered place, with healthy boundaries and an understanding of how powerful we are. If we all live our lives from a place of love, compassion, generosity, and empathy instead of from a place of fear and separation. This is the world I want to live in.
When did you first realize how connected you are to the rest of the world?
Photo/model/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
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MEMES! Gender, labels, + consent, oh my!
I was sharing memes on instagram that included nude images but deleted them all when ig did their most recent update to the terms of service because I was scared of getting my account deleted AGAIN. My original account with 22.6k followers got deleted in October 2018 and I never got it back, so I really would like that to NOT happen again.
I still love the memes that I made and want to share them, so here are some of the ones that I used to have on my ig before I deleted them!
Original caption:
Photo: Chip Willis
Model + meme: me, Bunny LunaI am angry today so I am channeling that anger into making my first ever meme. Hah, it’s funny that I’m choosing this as my first post since my hibernation. (TW: breach of consent) This meme is dedicated to the TWO middle aged white men who assumed it was okay to touch me without consent yesterday.
They obviously felt entitled to my body because I have a vulva and am younger than them? One rubbed my freshly cut hair on the top of my head, without asking or commenting or anything, just touched me out of nowhere. The other literally pulled me by the arm so I could pose for him in front of some photos of mine, and then proceeded to move my arm to get me to pose in a certain way. He didn’t even ASK if I wanted to take a photo. I told him my rates, and he laughed.
Original caption:
Labels are complicated, and have the potential to be both positive AND negative. As someone who has learned a lot about themself over the last year, and changed quite a bit, labels have been something I’ve honestly struggled with. It’s easy to say that labels are not important, and they don’t have to be if you don’t want them to, but for some people they’re incredibly important, especially when you’re trying to figure out who you are.
Labels are positive in that they help us figure out what space we occupy in the world, they help us describe ourselves to others, and they help us find community and people who are similar to us. Labels can be negative when people assume incorrect things about us, put is in boxes that don’t fit us, or when they refuse to see us for who we really are.
It feels awful to be labeled as something you’re not, and it feels amazing and is so affirming when someone uses the correct label(s) to describe you. No matter what, only YOU can choose what labels are right for you. There is nobody who knows you better than yourself.
Some labels that I personally use because they feel right and true for me: non binary, queer, ecosexual, non monogamous, artist, witch, demisexual, creative, sproutling (my mom came up with this to describe me to others instead of saying that I’m her adult child and I love it!)
What labels do you use that feel authentic to you?
Self portrait taken in Utah during my 69 day cross country road trip in 2019 (before I cut my hair obviously).
Original caption:
Never touch anyone without their explicit consent. Yes, this includes hugs with friends and family, asking or talking about someone’s tattoos/clothes/hair, directing a model for a photoshoot, posing with another model, kissing your crush…
The ONLY exception to this that I can think of is if that person is in immediate danger and there is literally no time to ask for consent.
Keep in mind, consent is not only for physical touch. You should also get consent when flirting with someone, commenting on someone’s body, sharing difficult or potentially triggering information, sharing a story someone told you with someone else, posting photos of people… basically if it involves someone else, you probably need their consent.
Have something to share about consent? I’d love to read your thoughts/stories in the comments!
Words: Douglas Pierce
Photo + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Utah)
I didn’t save the caption for this one, but it’s pretty self explanatory. =]
Original caption:
I am not the person I was a year ago, or last week, or yesterday. You probably aren’t either. We are all on perpetual journeys of growth and expansion. Every day we learn something about ourselves, every day we become a newer version of who we know ourselves to be.
Without change there is no innovation, no deeper understanding, no growth. You are a bottomless ocean filled with gifts unknown, until you dive in and explore your depths.
Photo + meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Colorado)
Original caption:
I recently had a really difficult conversation about my gender with a family member who is unwilling to do the work to understand and accept me for who I am. Their response to my being non binary was that I’ going through an “identity crisis” and it’s something that I’ll “grow out of” once I figure myself out.
It’s especially frustrating to me that they feel that way, because I know myself better now that I ever have. I know that I can’t make them see me for who I truly am, and that’s their work to do, not mine. It still hurts that someone I love doesn’t actually know me and instead chooses to only see me as the person they thought I was when I was younger and didn’t know myself.
I will continue to correct them when they misgender me (which is something I am constantly struggling with and tend to just stay quiet about it), because I want them to know that this is ME, not an “identity crisis” that I’ll “grow out of”
Sending lots of love to all of my trans siblings who have to deal with this every day. It’s really hard, and you deserve to be honored and acknowledged in your gender. I see you. I honor you. You are valid and important and I love you for WHO YOU ARE.
Photo/meme: me, Bunny Luna (self portrait in Colorado)
Original caption:
I moved through the first 28ish years of my life carrying the layers of expectations and assumptions of society that were thrown on top of me as a child before I knew I had any other option. Now that I know more about how the world works, I realize that I’ve been holding on to many things that are not truly mine. Parts of me buckled under that oppressive weight of binary gender, compulsory cis hetero monogamy, religion, racism, and capitalism (among others).
I am choosing to let go of the layers of anything that is not for the benefit of myself and the earth. It is a constant shedding, and it is not easy, but it is worth it. I wake every day with less of what isn’t mine so that I can understand what truly IS for me. I learn who I am by questioning.
Self portrait in Colorado
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MASS UPLOAD!!! + member’s only event scheduled
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! It’s been a while, or it feels like it has because I pre-recorded the last couple of vlogs I did on here, but HIII!! So it’s officially March, which means that the changes have been started for my website. I still have a lot of work to do in terms of redoing my website, but I’ve already done a mass upload, so everything that was in First Look is now available for everyone! Which is really exciting because it was literally a fuck ton of things. I haven’t even counted but it’s like, a LOT. I kinda wanna see if I can find how many things it is… um…. 55 photosets and let’s see how many videos… 34 video folders, which means that most of those have multiple videos in them. It’s a fuck ton of things, literally like so many things! Right now I’m only uploading the First Look stuff. I still have a backlog that’s not as much content as this but it’s still the backlog that no one has seen yet, that I’ll be uploading later this month. I just wanted to go ahead and get First Look in there for yall because it’s a whole lot and I love the content that’s in there and just excited to share it with you. It’s so much, it’s kindof overwhelming. I’m going to link the directories in this post, because I’m not going to link every single photoset and video because that would take forever and I just did that for the 34 video folders and the how many was it? 55 photosets, I’ve already done that for the directory. So I’ll link to the directories below, there’s a photo directory and a video directory, and from there you can find what you want to look at. I have everything listed, you just click it and see things like you usually do in the directory. I’m really excited, it’s so much, so much!
Let’s see, what else do I want to tell you? So this month also marks the beginning of our members only video hangout community education learning together, I don’t know what I want to call it yet, but video hangouts for us as members of my website, so excited! So I think I’ll be scheduling it for next Saturday the 13th, 1pm eastern. Very excited. It’ll be one hour of us hanging out and I think I’m going to have the topic as ecosexuality so we can have a whole conversation around that. I’ve already written down a lot of questions to ask yall that we can discuss together about ecosexuality. I’m going to go ahead and also link the zoom link invite thing down below. I’ll also resend that zoom link, I’m going to schedule a couple posts to remind yall that it’s next Saturday at 1pm and you gotta use the link to join so there’s that, I’m excited.
I’m hoping maybe I’ll be able to have my rebranding of my website, redoing my website, I’m hoping to have it done by April? Maybe? And then hopefully also in April I might start doing nude gatherings, virtual nude gatherings. Nude gatherings was what I was really gung ho set on doing and moving forward with at the end of 2019 after doing a couple in 2019 in person and then covid happened and you know the rest. So I’m excited to take nude gatherings to the virtual realm! We’re going to see how that goes. I think I might start doing those in April maybe? Hopefully? I’ll of course let you know. The virtual nude gatherings, the official ones that I don’t have any dates for yet, hoping to maybe start in April. Those will be available for the public to pay to join, and I’m also going to have a discount code that I will give to all of yall so you can get in for free. Those nude gatherings you’ll have to sign up via the eventbrite link eventually once I make the site, so that’s coming, I just wanted to give you a head’s up because I’m excited.
I do like doing these vlogs when I have things to tell you because I personally as a consumer of content really like to have a visual and audio thing to pay attention to instead of just reading so I like to offer that to yall so you have this and the transcript of this below so I’ll be doing that and uh…. *shrugs* anytime I have things to really talk to you about that are anything lengthy at all. If it’s short like “reminder! The member’s only gathering will be this day this time! Reminder!” If it’s that kind of thing I won’t do a video like this, but if it’s something like “hey let’s talk about something” I’ll probably do a video because I like to receive this kind of content so I hope that you also do.
What else do I want to say? I think that’s about it right now so… RECAP!
Lots and lots and lots of new content is now available for everyone to see, which is all of the First Look. The backlog that I have I’ll be uploading later this month, it’ll be part 2. It’s not as much as this, but this will take you a while to go through. Maybe I’ll do the backlog in April because this is just a lot. We’ll see. Either way I’ll let you know. Go enjoy the first look that is now… actually the first look folder no longer exists because it’s available for everybody now. I’ll be rebranding, redoing my website soon hopefully. I’ll start doing our members only events which will be once a month and the first one is next Saturday the 13th at 1pm eastern time and hopefully maybe April I’ll start doing virtual nude gatherings that yall will be able to access for free. So.. excited! I hope you’re excited too! I don’t know when I’ll be updating yall next, but here’s this. Yall have a LOT to look at. Okay, bye!!EDIT/ADDITION: It’s official, the member’s only event will be a VIRTUAL NUDE GATHERING (and we’ll discuss ecosexuality)!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! I’m stoked yall! In 2019 after facilitating 3 in-person nude gatherings I decided that they were the direction I wanted to go, they were the times that I LIVE for. We all know what happened in 2020. I’m so ready for the adventure + challenge of bringing these events online. So looking forward to seeing you there. <3
Enjoy these samples from the mass upload, there are 55 photosets + 34 video folders, this small sample doesn’t even scratch the surface!!!!!!
(Lior Allay double exposed with Bryce Canyon during the Backstage Pass event for GBTL)
(Leopold, Canischromatis, Anon, Anon, + me – self portrait during Creative Nude Gathering Aug 2019)
(self portrait on medium format film from the panoramic pinhole camera I made in college with my dad)
(self portrait with Mommy)
(Bainbridge Island with Jeff Waters + Tiffany Helms)
(self portrait at Quinn’s in Tacoma)
(self portrait in Joshua Tree)
(Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)
(Joshua Tree with Moss Von Faustenberg)
(Joshua Tree with Ellin Aldana)
(Kara Perry photographs Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Wyoming + NC)
(Kara Perry photographs Tatyebar wearing WhiskeyDog Wares doubled with a roll I took in Yellowstone)
(Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin double exposed with Glacier National Park)
(me photographed by Dawn Iler / Coconutdreamin)
(self portrait in Nevada)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Utah)(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Utah)
(self portrait in Colorado)
(with Lior Allay in Pittsburgh)
(self portrait with Lior Allay + Jacs Fishburne in Columbus Ohio)
(with Lior Allay photographed by Jacs Fishburne)
(Nashville Tennessee with Bashing Bagpipes)
(Nashville Tennessee with Chris Widick)
(self portrait in North Carolina)
(self portrait in North Carolina)
(with Mike Tyger in an abandoned house in North Carolina)
(self portrait from 2010!!! BABY BUNNY! I was about 20 years old)
MEMBERS ONLY NUDE GATHERING SIGN UP FREE HERE
(password: BLMBR)
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on November 18th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Roarie Yum is an incredible model and I have been lucky enough to photograph them a few times. The last time they was in town Antisocialdisposition and I hired them for a couple of hours specifically to shoot double exposures over rolls of film I already shot of inspiring landscapes. We did a very similar shoot with Kyotocat last year, you can find it in the October 2016 archive.
I had a roll of film that part of it was shot when we were in Utah summer 2016 and the other part of the roll I shot in the NC mountains. The other roll I used was one I took in Shenandoah National Park this past July. I double exposed these rolls with Roarie and got magic! Some of them lined up in ways that I couldn’t have imagined, and that’s the magic of double exposures. I love the unexpected imperfect perfection that sometimes happens, if that makes any sense at all. Haha.
Our friend Scott let us use his studio and set up the lighting for us. He took the BTS photo below. AD and I took turns photographing Roarie and got a surprising number of rolls of film shot in just a couple of hours.
I really really love double exposures. I haven’t taken as many lately as I used to so it was really nice to finally get back to doing some.
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I’ve added 3 bts videos from the shoot along with 42 bts photos for video tier patrons.
There’s also a timelapse video of me (nude) painting with my mom in the video gallery. I sent these paintings to 4 of the higher tier patrons, I hope you like them! <3
BTS photo taken by Scott!
All members have access to this complete 14 image photoset doubled with Shenandoah National Park by clicking here, the 10 image Utah & NC landscapes doubles by clicking here, the BTS photo & video by clicking here, and the nude painting with my mom by clicking here.
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Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hiii! This is the last week of these weekly posts, can you believe it? I kindof can’t to be honest, it’s here already. So this week I’m sharing a self portrait set that I took in the summer of 2019 during my cross country road trip, I have so many to share from there. This I took outside of Grand Staircase Escalante in Utah. Most of the self portrait sets that I took on my cross country road trip were in Utah because I spent all of June in Utah basically because I fucking love Utah. So I was outside of Grand Staircase Escalante and I was parked on the side of a dirt road, that I honestly don’t know where it went, I don’t know where the dirt road would have taken me to if I had driven the whole way. I was basically just parked on the side of a dirt road and taking photos behind my van, and don’t be startled please, hopefully, I hope I don’t scare you but HERE’S YOUR WARNING, in the BTS video for this photoset I think at the end of both of them, because I had to do 2 videos for it because cars kept driving by and I kept getting spooked and having to grab my phone and hide behind my van because I really thought I was alone but occasionally I wasn’t so yeah uhm I hope you’re not too startled when I grab the phone and run when I was taking these videos. To me its pretty funny, I hope you think it’s funny too. I have one of those sticker phone protector things on my cell phone and this is the same phone that I had when I was on my trip and I still have Utah dirt under some of the sticker on my phone because of this. When I was taking self portraits I took them with a digital camera because it has an interval timer and I could do self portraits way faster and take way more in a shorter amount of time than I could do with film. So I had my digital camera on a tripod a cute little mini tripod with these movable leg things where I would attach my phone on the top of the camera, so I would have like digital camera, cell phone. When I had to grab the camera, I would grab the whole camera and tripod, and when I grabbed the camera/tripod because I was trying to hide to make sure nobody saw me naked out in the middle of nowhere, my cell phone that was on top of the camera had fallen off of the camera because it wasn’t super securely attached, so I would grab my stuff and run and my phone would drop and I was like “oh shit.” I just think it’s funny, so you get to experience that in video form from the perspective of my cell phone camera, I hope you enjoy.
First look has access now to the self portrait double exposures that I took in June of 2020, this is one of the few photosets that I took. I had a roll of film that I took during my cross country road trip that was from Dead Horse Point State Park which is one of my favorite places in the world that I’ve been to, several times now because it’s incredible. That’s where the landscape part of it is from, the self portrait part was here at my house in June of 2020 in my makeshift studio, which is my black blanket draped over the couch that’s in front of the window in the living room. I had a little bit of trouble with these actually, I didn’t know until I got them developed, you’ll see when you see the photoset, a lot of them the image of me wasn’t exposed enough, it was underexposed, so you can’t really see me and it’s mostly just landscape. I think it’s because I was taking self portraits and I was doing this number where I was back here and reaching to the camera to press the camera to get it to do the self timer and then I would come back, so I think in the moving… it would assume it was taking the picture of me this close and then I would move back and the exposure needed to be different than when I was this close, so yeah so that didn’t work very well. But I still really love the photos that did show up, you’ll see what I mean when you see them. They’re still amazing landscapes so you’ll enjoy them either way hopefully. Then I also have, to make up for some of the only landscape photos, I also have some self portraits that I took in the summer of 2020, some of the very few things that I created in 2020, they’re medium format panoramic pinhole self portraits. The panoramic pinhole camera is one that I made with my dad when I was in college. Actually, if you hold on one second I’m going to get the camera and show you what it looks like because it’s really cool. Okay thank you for your patience.
This is the camera, there’s a pinhole in here, you probably can’t see because it’s really tiny, but that’s essentially the “lens” and this is my shutter, and this is the film advance. It is panoramic because it has the curved film plane, and it takes medium format film. So yeah I think it’s pretty cool. I need to re-glue this thing in here, because last time I shot with it this nut/bolt thing that came out, it’s just glued in there. There’s a photo in one of these self portraits that looks like a double exposure of me against a fence and then the sky and trees. That’s on accident because this fell off the tripod and was exposed to the sky and trees and I was like “fuck it, I’m going to still try to take a picture anyway” and then took a self portrait with that part of the film, so that’s what happened there. Some of these, not all of these, but some of these panoramic pinhole self portraits, I took during a live video chat with a few of you members. We just hung out on video chat while I was taking these photos in the back yard. Sorry I haven’t shown them to you yet, it’s been a while but uhm… here they are. So yeah if you want to know more about this camera I can talk to you more about it. It was pretty fun to make, I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again. You have to open it with a little screwdriver because this is the only way it opens, and also this is how I take the photos. I have this chart, I do a meter reading and find where it matches up. Say if it was f/8 1/60 of a second, then I would go all the way over here… so that means between 6 and 10 seconds I need to have the exposure, beacuse my aperture is tiny as fuck, it’s somewhere between f/150-f/200. So since it was between 6-10 seconds I would probably do an 8 second exposure, so that’s how I did all of those, is with this. And they turned out really well. Also if they were longer exposures, like some of them were probably around the 30 second range, yeah long exposure, you’ll see this because I did it a lot. I would go to one place and then count a third or a half of the time that I was supposed to take, and then move, so that it looked like a double exposure, but it’s really a single exposure, it’s just a long exposure and I moved. Yay photography.
This is a long video already but I want to give you a short recap of what is about to happen. This is the last weekly post like this for the foreseeable future, unless I change my mind. The things that will be happening soon: sometime in March I will be making a mass upload of all of the first look and all of my backlog content, photos and videos, so it’s a fuck ton, I’ll be doing a mass upload sometime in March. I’m also working on overhauling my whole website. I might be starting to do some of that before this comes out, we’ll see. I will be doing at least once a month members-only community gatherings online, virtual hangouts, and right now that’s the plan. I might be changing other things but right now at this point I’ll be doing the members-only events like online hangout topic let’s talk let’s learn let’s do things together. I would really like to experiment with virtual nude gatherings and focus more on creating free resources for people and talking more about queerness and gender and ecosexuality and non monogamy and… what else? I have a whole list, energy healing, movement as medicine, spirituality, plant medicine, all kinds of stuff. So more on that soon. I don’t want to give it all away.
So basically if you’re a member here you’re a sponsor of me creating things that will hopefully help everyone. I don’t want to gatekeep the information that I have that is helpful for a lot of people, whether or not they can afford it, like the queerness and ecosexuality kind of stuff. So yall will be the reason that I’m able to do that if that makes sense. Like, you’re a member to get perks, but also you’re allowing me to create things and share things that help everybody, so that means a lot, a whole lot. So that’s where I’m at right now. I will probably, my guess is I will still make some videos like this because vlogs are fun and I like to let yall know what’s going on so… it just won’t be, I won’t have a set schedule of when I’ll be posting stuff like this. I will probably make a schedule for our monthly video hangouts. Comment below or email me (OR CLICK HERE FOR A QUICK AND EASY SURVEY!) and tell me what days of the week work best for you, what times, I’m assuming nights and weekends, people probably work, let me know… I obviously probably can’t accommodate everyone’s schedule, but I’ll do my best to do the members-only virtual hangouts when the most amount of people are available. So that’s the plan right now, yay.
I can’t believe this is the last week. I love you, thank you for being here, it means so much! You are the reason that I can do any of this in the first place, so I appreciate it greatly. I love you. If you want to know more about my fancy wooden and metal panoramic pinhole camera, let me know, it might be fun to make a youtube video about it or something. Maybe we can do… maybe I can take more self portraits with it and you can be there live with me while I do it, that was pretty fun last time. Let me know if you want to do that again. Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, thank you so much, I’m excited to see where all these changes take all of us. Yeah I’m doing my overhaul of my website, some of it might already be done by the time this comes out. I’m doing some of these videos early so that I can get ahead and make sure I’m not too stressed last minute. I love you, thank you. *blows kiss* Love you! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 27 image self portrait photoset taken outside of Grand Staircase Escalante during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 2.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 38 image self portrait photoset double exposed with images from Dead Horse Point State Park in Utah
click here to view 29.5+ minutes of BTS video
click here to view the 14 image self portrait photoset taken on medium format film with the panoramic pinhole camera that my dad and I built when I was in college -
Olympia with Mandy Darling
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This is the second to last week of these weekly posts! Holy cow! It’s already like… wow February is flying. This week I’ll be sharing a photoset that’s kinda like a mixed photoset of several mediums. I think it’s digital, 35mm, medium format, and polaroid, I think? from Mandy Darling photographing me when I was in Olympia during my cross country road trip in 2019. Yeah I told you I have a whole lot from that trip I’m still posting, and this is not all of it, you’re gonna see a lot more when I do that mass upload in March. But for now, here’s a bunch of photos that Mandy Darling took of me, this was outside of her parent’s house in Olympia I believe? It was her parent’s house, it was a really beautiful place full of gardens and surrounded by woods and it was beautiful. I had a really great time so I hope you enjoy these photos. I don’t have BTS video, but the video from this week I’m sharing is actually a pretty fun video that I made in the spring of 2020. It’s multiple videos, I think it’s like 8 videos. In the spring of 2020 I took a walk in the woods that are behind my house to go to the ponds that are in my neighborhood, there’s a couple of little secret ponds hidden in the woods so it was me taking a walk in the woods and bringing you with me. Some of my favorite parts of this video are when I see little tiny frogs in the grass, there were so many tiny frogs this spring, it was so cute, I’m really excited to see them again. I think there’s a couple of moments when I’m searching for frogs and you can see how cute and tiny they are. So yeah just hanging out in the woods and taking you with me so I hope you enjoy that.
First look people, I will be sharing the double exposures that I took of Lior Allay during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens that was in December of 2020. It was so great, they were so amazing. I did doubles of them during this event and people that were at the event helped… what’s the word? helped direct Lior for some of the poses. So the last I think 6 poses of theirs that you see were directed by people that were at the event, so that was super fun and exciting, I really loved it. It was really enjoyable to create together as a group. I had never experienced anything like that and it was amazing. These doubles were taken with the photos of Bryce Canyon that I took during my cross country road trip. I hope you enjoy all of those.
If you are new here I’ll give you a recap of what is happening very soon. February I’ll do weekly posts like this through the end of February, so after this week there’s one more week of these weekly posts, and then starting in March I’ll be doing monthly members-only hangout gathering virtual live “in person” events, and you’ll also be able to get free admission to some of the paid events that I’ll be participating in or leading that are outside of just members only, they’re also for the public but they have to pay, but members will get to be in there for free. That and I will be in March also mass uploading everything from first look and my backlog which first look hasn’t even seen yet because I have so much content. I’m a little nervous about it because it’s a big change, I’ve been doing for the most part ish, weekly posts like this, since 2016 or 2017, so this is a big major change. I’m really excited about it because it’s going to allow me to have more time to create more free resources for everyone and to have more community experiences, which I’m much more interested in, where I’m in a community where we co-facilitate/cocreate an event together versus right now where I’m just like talking AT you and giving you access to stuff. That’s not as connecting for me, and I’m exited to get to know yall a little better and just…. nurture community. I think we all need community, especially during covid. If you have any questions please let me know, you can comment on this post, you can send me an email, you can contact me in another way if you want. Yeah I’m excited even though I’m scared. A lot will be changing, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going to go, because instead of talking AT you, I’ll be talking WITH you and that is more exciting to me. I’m starting off with one members-only event per month starting in March because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things because I’ll most likely be doing 2 events per month for Going Beyond the Lens.
Speaking of, I think by the time this comes out the event is already happening, I think? Oh I can’t look at my calendar because it’s on my phone and I’m recording on my phone! Oh I have a paper calendar too. Yeah so when this comes out it’s going to be on the 20th and the art share is on the 20th, so when this comes out you have a few hours left to sign up for the art share which is FREE! (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER) It’s going to happen at 1pm eastern time, so you have a little bit of time if you haven’t signed up yet, we would love to have you join us, whether or not you share your art with us. That’s through Going Beyond the Lens, I’ll put a link if you’d like more information (CLICK HERE FOR INFO), it’s the collective that I’m a cofounder of. What else? I think that’s all for this week. Change is scary but I’m excited and super thankful for you for being here with me through it. Yeah you mean so much to me and I’m so excited to have more opportunity to grow with you, so thank you. I love you! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 69 image photoset taken by Mandy Darling in Olympia Washington during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 8 videos of me taking you on a walk through the woods from spring 2020
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 38 image photoset of Lior Allay doubled with Bryce Canyon National Park during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens with Roarie Yum
click here to view 31 BTS photos/videos -
Self Portraits in Utah – Among Goblins
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Welcome to the.. what is it? Third to last week of these weekly posts like this, whaaat? So this week I’m sharing another photoset from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019 because I have to much to share from that. I’m not even going to be sharing them weekly like this. I have so many that they won’t fit into the last weeks of February so you’ll get most of them when I mass upload them in March. It’s going to be a lot, a whole lot.
So this week, are photos, I think it’s over 100 photos, self portraits that I took in Goblin Valley, very exciting, I really like them, I hope you do too. I have BTS videos for these photos also. First look is getting access to the self portrait photoset that I took at my friend Quinn Sanguine‘s house in Tacoma Washington, also during my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. These I took in Quinn’s bedroom, they had a cool setup with lights on their wall, it was really cute and I really like the orange tone in their room, so I took advantage and took a bunch of self portraits while I was there. So that’s it for what’s new this week.
To recap the changes that will be happening soon. February is the last month I’ll be doing weekly posts like this. In March I will be mass-uploading everything from my backlog and first look galleries, which is a WHOLE lot, a whole whole lot. So I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be dropping that mass upload, but that will be coming in March hopefully. Also in March start doing at least once a month members-only video hangouts so we can be together live “in person” virtually. I’m starting off with once a month because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things all the time, which is another reason why I am not pressuring myself to do these weekly posts, not pressuring myself to create work constantly because as you know, if you’ve been here for any amount of time, I created like 4 or 5 photosets in the entirety of 2020. I know that my work, it’s not conducive to pressure and the requirement of “oh I have to do this thing right now” that just means I’m going to create something that doesn’t have intention and thought and real creativity behind it if I’m stressed about it and feeling like “oh I have to make something right now” then it’s just going to be something I made because I felt like I needed to. That doesn’t do justice to me as an artist and it doesn’t do justice to you as a member of my website enjoying my art, because if it’s something I feel like I have to do that I rush through then the quality of it is diminished and it’s just not as good. I’m committed to doing things in the timing that works for me, which is not going to necessarily be consistent. So yeah I hope that you also give yourself grace in that way if you’re able to if you’re a creator.
What else is new that I’m forgetting? By the time this comes out the EcoLove Playshop will have already happened, but you still have time to sign up for the Art Share for Going Beyond the Lens which is the 3rd Saturday of every month. I’m very excited to see your art. What else? Yeah so while I’m in this transitionary phase, I’m keeping things to a simplistic, minimalistic, sense thing… just to make sure that I’m not overwhelming myself, because I want to provide yall with quality content and quality time with me. Just because it’s not weekly like it has been in the past, I know that I’m going to be doing my best and still offering yall quality art and time with me. So yeah my archive will be available for all members and will be a lot bigger than it was, very soon in March. Like there’s SO MUCH in first look alone that it’s going to take a while to do the mass upload but I’m excited because yall are going to be in for a huge treat, with all this content. It is really scary to make changes like this and to make a leap of faith with myself and make changes in what I’m doing but I feel much more excited and… what’s the word? Maybe rejuvenated by the potential of what this could be. Right now at this point it feels like I’m talking AT you and just like “here have photos, here have videos” and while I super love all my photos and videos, it doesn’t feel like we’re connecting with each other. It feels like I’m providing content and you’re consuming it, and I would really like to start being in a community space with you instead of like “here you go!” Now it will be more like “lets hang out together and get to know each other and share our art or whatever” so yeah I’m excited for these changes even though it’s scary.
Okay uhm yeah if you have any questions comments concerns ideas whatever, comment on this post or email me or however you feel like contacting me, I would love to hear from you. I wonder if doing a 2-part content drop would be better than doing it all at once. I’ll think about it. Or you can let me know what you think! Ok I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate that you are going on this journey of change and exploration and figuring shit out with me, it means a lot! I’m excited to go on this exploration with you and to get to know myself better and to get to know you better, and to have fun. I love you! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 106 image self portrait photoset Among Goblins in Utah
click here to view the 13.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 50 image self portrait photoset I took at Quinn Sanguine‘s in Tacoma Washington -
Self Portraits in Utah – Enclosed
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, okay so this week I’m sharing a photoset with you that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019. This is a self portrait set that I took, this is also… I think recently, when did I do it, at the beginning of January I shared a photoset from the same place. This photoset is a little more closer up than that one was, and it’s more of me in this little private canyon that I had basically right behind my camping area which was incredible and wonderful and I super loved it and I spent a lot of time back there when I was staying there, which wasn’t very long, but most of the time I was there I was in this little canyon. I have several other photosets from the same place that I will be sharing in the future, but for now you have this photoset and the behind the scenes video to enjoy.
First look people I have some photos to share with you and BTS video of when I was posing for my friend Dawn Iler. You probably also know of her… actually… THEY. Dawn recently started using they/them pronouns so, excuse my error, they took photos of me back… I think it was the winter? November, December of 2019. They were visiting here on their way to… I think they were going to Texas. They live in NY State and they were traveling to Texas so they stopped by and stayed with me for a couple days on their way down there. We photographed each other which was wonderful. I don’t think I shared the photos I took of them with yall yet, but these are the photos they took of me. We took them in my living room, in like a makeshift “studio”. You’ll see what I mean when you see the video because it’s basically like, the black blanket that I keep on my bed, I’m looking around because it’s right here. Underneath my butt, I’m sitting on it. My big black blanket that I keep on my bed, it’s that blanket draped over the back of the couch, which is my “studio” in front of the big window in the living room so the light’s really nice. So these are the photos Dawn took of me.
For more information about my website: I have made some decisions, not 100% done with my decisions but I have decided to continue doing these weekly like I’ve been doing for years, doing these videos and talking to you and stuff, at least through mid-February. I’m considering if I want to do through the end of February just to keep even months. Then starting in most likely March I will… I don’t know when I’ll mass-upload all of the things, but I’m probably also going to be doing away with the first look membership because I’m just gonna take everything that’s in first look, everything that’s in my backlog, and put them all available for everybody. Yeah this feels kinda scary. So I’m pretty sure that I’ll be doing that maybe early to mid March, in terms of my mass upload of my backlog. That’s going to take some time to do because it’s a lot of things. So I think I will do these weekly posts like I have been through the end of February. I have stuff planned through Feb 13th so I have a couple weeks left to plan, and then after that I’ll sometime in March do a mass upload of everything and update the directories and stuff. And then after that I will… probably not do weekly updates, because I’ll have already shared all of my backlog with you. Right now my thinking is I will do the weekly updates through the end of February. Sometime in March, depending on how long it takes me to get it done, mass upload everything from first look and my backlog so that everyone has access to all the things. Then I will not pressure myself to create things on a weekly basis because I have done that in the past and it… basically like the quality of my work is lower if I feel like “oh I have to do this. Oh it’s Friday and I want to have something for Saturday so let me just shoot something.” That to me that is not the kind of creative artistic process that brings me the ability to do good work. It’s more stressful and “oh let me do something so I have something for them” but that doesn’t feel good. So… I will create if I feel like it. Which, as you know, hasn’t been very much at all in the last like year and a half. But I literally have SO MUCH that you haven’t seen yet so it’ll be quite a while before you’ll be like “I want new things!” I’m not going to pressure myself to… sorry I’m picking a little scab that I have on my arm but it’s really annoying and I shouldn’t be doing it but… I did. So yeah this is pretty stressful and scary for me but I feel like I’m giving myself freedom by doing this. In 2020 I took like 4 or 5 photosets the whole year. So I don’t have an expectation of myself to create constantly, and I don’t want yall to have an expectation of new things from me constantly.
What I will do instead of sharing new photosets and stuff with you, I’ll be offering more online live video gathering type things when where we can hang out “in person” virtually, which I’m must more excited about than thinking about having to create more photosets. I don’t know the frequency of that yet, I’m probably going to start off with once a month to make sure that I don’t overdo myself because I’m already doing events through Going Beyond the Lens also. So basically members will have access to my archive, will be invited to members-only virtual hangouts, and I want to do more with, maybe more education kind of things, or “let’s learn things together” like I’ll tell you the kinds of things that I’m learning and you can share your personal experience with those things. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts and feelings about queerness, ecosexuality, non monogamy, gender, those kinds of things. So I’d really love to explore those more in depth. My tattoo is so itchy yall! I got my arm done recently and it’s just so itchy, it’s in the itchy stage and I’m trying really hard to not fuck with it.
So yeah, the plan is, to recap: things will continue as normal through February, and then starting in March, at some point in March, depending on how much time it takes me to do it, I will mass upload everything that’s in the backlog and in first look. This is pretty scary to think about, and then starting in March I’ll do monthly live virtual hangouts. I’ll probably have a topic for us to focus on so it’s not just like, sitting around just talking about random things. I feel better when there’s a focus, instead of just like “how was your day?” I fucking hate small talk yall, I hate it. I want to have a focus so that we can like… I feel like we’re learning together. So starting in March we’ll have virtual hangouts and uhm I’m going to try to make more free things. I don’t want to keep all of the cool and interesting things behind a paywall, so basically memberships are for people who want to help me continue to make free things for everyone, and also to have access to my archive because that’s a WHOLE LOT of photos and videos and just content in general. So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ll have it fleshed out with better plans in the future. I’m also planning on overhauling my website and making everything different than what it is currently. So also keep an eye out for that, I might do that March-ish? Maybe starting some of it in February? I don’t have a complete schedule for that yet because I’m still figuring out how I want my website to be set up.
But yeah… it’s pretty scary for me because it’s a big change. I’ve been doing basically the same thing for my website since like 2016 or 2017 so making a big change like this is scary and I’m just going to take the leap because I think I will truly be happier honestly, and less stressed, if I do it this way. I hope you’ll be along for the ride with me. I understand if you signed up for one thing and it’s changing and you no longer want to be here which I understand, no hard feelings. If you want to help support me, pay my bills, help me share queer info with other people for free, it would mean a whole lot. A whole whole lot. It already means a lot that you’re here already. Also I’m probably going to redo my art wall in my room at some point because I’m kinda tired of looking at white naked bodies all the time. Like there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not bad, I super love naked bodies. I don’t want my work to focus on like.. nude photography. To me, nude photography is super amazing and a big part of my life, but I don’t see it being quite as big of a part of my life in the future, because I want to expand into more purpose and intention and I think that by changing the way that I’m doing things will help me to create that intention and purpose. This is a super long video! Appreciate you watching and listening or reading or whatever you’re doing. Yeah I’m excited and nervous about what is coming. If you have any ideas, questions, concerns, comments, I would love to hear them, please reach out. Comment on this post or email me or whatever way you wanna contact me. Yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts. Ok. I’m done. I love you. Goodbye.
All members:
click here to view the 52 image self portrait photoset in Utah during my cross country road trip in summer 2019
click here to view the 5.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 40 image film photoset of me taken by Dawn Iler (aka coconutdreamin)
click here to view 20+ minutes of BTS video