• Sexualization + Consent

    June 11, 2022 /

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    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hello, lovely people! Okay, in my last video, I talked about how nudity is not sexual. It’s not inherently sexual, its sexual if you make it sexual based on context and consent. So in this video, I’m going to talk about sexualization and consent, because as someone who’s naked on the internet, I get a lot of unwanted sexual attention from people specifically cishet men. *cough* Who like, I don’t know why but they just… because I’m me having like my bare breasts or my bare ass on the internet does not mean I want your sexual attention. That just means I have naked pictures on the internet. That’s all that means.

    I have been sexualized without my consent more times than I can count. Honestly, it was worse when I was on social media because I would get unsolicited dick pics or like masturbation videos from people that I had no idea who the fuck they were. Those are extremely uncomfortable to receive. If you are somebody who thinks that’s a good idea, it’s not. That’s only a good idea if the other person literally asks you for it. That’s the only time it’s a good idea to send a dick pic or masturbation video. I promise you. Nobody wants to see it unless they are literally asking you for it. Okay, If I don’t want to be like “AHHHHH” this whole time but I might. 

    So I know that there are some people who will sexualize me, just because I’m naked, because that’s the only way that they understand nudity. And I’d while I don’t agree with that because nudity is not inherently sexual. I understand that to a degree because our society, especially here in the United States. Our society is so like puritanical and it hides nudity from us unless they’re trying to sell us something and then they give us a lot of nudity and a lot of like tits and ass just to be like “here buy this thing”. So like the context around nudity in general, in our culture in the United States is really dysfunctional. So I know that there are people who are going to sexualize me just because I am naked on the internet. I don’t have any control over that. And people can do what they want to do with their own free time in their own private space. Like I… whatever their life is their life. 

    Whenever they bring that sexual energy and that sexual attention into my like conscious awareness and whenever they like, push that into my, like, bubble of like my life, that’s when we have a problem because that is not consensual. I do not consent to being sexualized. If you do it and never tell me about it and like never mention it and, like, it’s not a thing that I’m aware of like whatever.

    But as soon as you’re like, “yeah I masturbated to your video last night” or “oh my god, you’re so hot. I want to fuck you.” If you like send me a DM or something like that, that is… you do not have my consent to do that. That is a breach of my consent. I… no. I don’t consent to any of that. That’s when we have a problem. When you’re sexualizing me to my face or virtually to my face. You don’t have my consent to do that. I… no, I don’t tolerate. Yeah, that’s that’s when we have a problem, a big problem. 

    I do not consent to being sexualized. I don’t. If I wanted to be sexualized by someone, I would actually tell them. I’m a very communicative person in that regard. And if I wanted to have like a sexual situation with someone, then I would make that very clear. So, if I have not, which I probably haven’t with most people, yeah, I… you don’t have my consent. 

    Yeah, I don’t want to be like “I’m really angry and I’m bitching at the internet about it” for this whole video, but that’s kind of what it is and… it’s come to that. I don’t have much patience for this kind of shit anymore. I’ve been naked on the internet since 2010 and I have gotten a fuck ton of attention that I did not want because it was sexual. And I’m done doing that. So if you come at me in a sexual way, and I don’t even fucking know you, you better bet your ass that I’m going to block you. You don’t have my consent. You’re breaking consent. Your breaching consent. It’s non-consensual, so that’s what you’re choosing to do. So then I’m choosing to get you out of my space. Because that’s my choice.

    I hope some people can relate to this. I know I have a lot of friends in the, like photography, nude modeling world, that would relate to this. But I don’t know if the average usual person would relate to this. But yeah, if you didn’t get anything else out of this video, I hope that you at least get this message that I’m saying: if you are sexualizing me, you don’t have my consent to do that. So it’s only okay to do that if you do it, when I have no fucking idea it’s happening. In your own space on your own time. Not involving me at all. I do not consent to being sexualized. Nope. I don’t. No. I don’t want to be a part of your sexual fantasy. Yes. I’m naked. That has nothing to do with sex. See my other video if you’re confused.

     

    Watch my video: nudity is not inherently sexual

    I don’t consent to being sexualized. So don’t do it and especially don’t do it and bring my attention to it. I don’t want to fucking know, that’s none of my business. And my sexuality is not your business. I’m naked. Yes, but that has nothing to do with sex. Okay, the end.

    Yeah. Okay. I hope this video wasn’t too harsh for you. Maybe I did need to push some buttons. Maybe I did need to be harsh to get my point across but I yeah, I’m just fucking tired of getting unsolicited dick pics and unsolicited sexual attention. None of those are consensual. So yeah. Not cool. Not cool at all.

    Okay, if you have any information about things that you would like to see me share, I’m going to put a survey below and you can let me know what you want to see for me. Otherwise, thank you for being here on my website. I love you so much. I might sound angry from earlier. But yeah, I’ve allowed to be angry. I’ve been… my consent has been breached a lot of times. So it’s about time for me to be upset about it. Okay. I love you. I hope every great day and I’ll talk to you soon! 

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  • Desert Rock Self Portraits

    September 12, 2020 /

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    Hello! *sigh* So if you’re into astrology you probably know that Mars Retrograde started on the 9th. It’s gonna be for 2 whole months and I’ve already been feeling it a lot. A lot of extra anxiety and my body has felt weird and weak and restless and harder to be grounded for me personally. I’ve been losing myself dissociating on social media and not being present, which I have recognized and it’s kindof an ongoing recurring thing for me. It’s not just during certain astrological transits. If I have any uncomfortable feelings at all it’s like “okay let’s distract myself from this and pretend it’s not real and ignore all my feelings” and I realize that this is not a good coping strategy. I mean it’s okay in the moment for me sometimes but usually it ends with me feeling even worse. So, I guess I’m starting this video by letting you know that I’m feeling a lot of weird complicated uncomfortable things recently, so you probably have too. I just wanted to let you know that all of our feelings are valid. This is also a reminder for me, because honestly I think that a lot of the things that I create, I really create them for myself. I have an understanding that as living beings we’re all connected, so anything I create for myself is really also for everyone else, and anything that I create for someone else is really also for me. Maybe that’s why I haven’t wanted to create hardly at all this year, I’ve felt really… disconnected from all of it. And myself. With the pandemic and being at home so much more and having so few social engagements, well basically none, except for online things. It’s really brought up a lot of past trauma things for me which hasn’t been easy. Hence, dissociating and avoiding my feelings. I just wanted to be open here with yall and let you know… not always gonna be happy, not always gonna be uplifting and creative and inspirational, you know sometimes I just need to sit in my shit, even though that’s hard to do.

    *sigh* Okay, I didn’t just come here to tell you about things that are uncomfortable. I also am here to tell you about thephotosets that I’m sharing this weekend. I have a photoset, another one that I took outside of Moab in Utah that I’m sharing with everybody, including the BTS stuff, BTS video. That’ll be for everyone. I also have the first photoset that I’ll be sharing from Goblin Valley, which is also in Utah, it’s just another part of Utah, a couple hours from Moab. The first photoset that I’m sharing from Goblin Valley will be available this weekend for First Look members, and the BTS video of that too.

    Yeah, so it’s kinda weird when I look back on all these self portraits from last summer. I remember experiencing them, and doing all of that, and it also feels like someone else. Because I did all of that before I really knew, uh… more of my gender identity. So it’s like, looking at a ghost almost. And I’m feeling emotional and probably gonna cry and that’s okay. I think part of why I haven’t wanted to create this year is because I have a better understanding of who I am and I have a fear of people misunderstanding my nudity as consent to be sexualized, because that’s the most uncomfortable thing for me and brings up trauma responses. And while I feel comfortable in my skin, obviously, when other people sexualize me and bring it to my attention, that’s when I have a really big problem. And for some reason when people see somebody nude on the internet it makes them think that they can send them a dick pic or expect sex from them or expect attention of any kind. No that is not the reason I exist on the internet. I’m basically here for the opposite of that, I’m here to affirm that nudity is not sexual. It could be, but that should not be the assumption. My trans identity is valid and sacred. I’m just tired of being perceived, as something that I’m not. I’m kinda just tired of being perceived in general, like please don’t perceive me. Most people’s assumptions of who I am are… wrong. And I mean it’s not my job to correct everyone and make sure that everyone knows who I am, because I value privacy and having things that are just for me. At the same time I want to be that voice and that image out in the world that affirms people like me. Cisheteromonogamy culture is so huge and their voices are so loud, that I almost feel like it’s my responsibility as someone that’s outside of that, to say that that’s not the only option, and that’s not the only valid and reasonable way to live. Also I feel like I put too much responsibility on myself, I’m just one person and I can’t open up the perspectives of everyone in the world by simply existing and sharing myself on the internet, but….. *sigh*

    I want yall to know that I value and appreciate all of you so much. The fact that I continuously every week come back to make videos and share content with you is… simply because I appreciate you and I couldn’t do any of this without you. So I greatly appreciate your contribution to me being able to know more about myself, and to support myself, and to hopefully make a positive difference in the world, even if it’s not huge, as long as it’s something. Yeah things are just hard right now. I hope that you’re not taking this Mars retrograde as difficult as I’m taking it. I know that I’m just doing my best so you probably are too.

    I love you and I’m thankful for you and I still feel like there’s major changes coming in terms of my website and what I offer here, but I’m still not sure what that is, but I’ll keep reminding you because change is inevitable. I’ve already changed and shifted things about my website a bunch of times already, I just don’t want to surprise you too much when things change again. But we have time because I don’t know what that is yet! Okay this video is getting long, and I don’t really have anything else to say, but I love you, thank you. <3

    Video members:
    click here to view the full self portrait photoset of me in the rocky desert in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
    click here to view the BTS video

    First Look members:
    click here to view the self portrait photoset of me in Goblin Valley (Between)
    click here to view the BTS video

    Click here for the gallery passwords

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