• Why I Love Menstruating as an Agender Person

    I discuss 5+ reasons why I love menstruating as an agender person. Periods don’t have to center womanhood! I’m here to make room for conversations about menstruation across the gender spectrum.

    Video thumbnail image of me during my period with my actual menstrual blood taken by Portraitmami.

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 28 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Let’s talk about mantras and positive affirmations this week! As a recap, here are the definitions:

     Merriam-Webster’s definition of mantra: a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating // a word or phrase that is repeated often or that expresses someone’s basic beliefs

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of affirmation: a solemn and often public declaration of the truth or existence of something

    I’ll start with mantras, which have been around for thousands of years (since the Vedic period, 1500-500 BC). There are many ancient mantras in Sanskrit, some of which call upon Hindu deities, and all of which assist in awareness, mindfulness, intention, and raising your level of consciousness. Chanting mantras over and over allows your mind to become quiet and focus solely on the sounds and vibrations of the mantra. Once your mind isn’t thinking you’re able to feel the space where the mind is silent, allowing you to connect to your true inner self.

    The most well-known mantra is “Om” (said like aum or ohm), which represents everything, the entire universe. It is believed to be the first sound the universe made when it was created, the original vibration. Chanting Om while meditating alters your consciousness and allows you to transcend to a higher state.

    Another well-known mantra is “Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha” which translates roughly to “Invocation to Ganesh, who is the remover of obstacles, who guards the doorway to the enlightened realms. His blessings are essential for good beginnings.” or more simply “The devotee bows/offers salutations to Ganesh/the Lord of the World.” This mantra calls upon Lord Ganesh, who is best known as the “breaker of obstacles.” This mantra assists in releasing blocked energy in your physical, mental, and emotional bodies.

    “Om Namah Shivaya” is another Sanskrit mantra which is interpreted as bowing or honoring your true highest self.

    Positive affirmations are very similar to mantras but are actually quite different. They were developed by neuroscientists in the 1970’s as a type of neuro-linguistic programming. People repeat positive affirmations in order to change their perception of their circumstances and the way they feel about themselves. Increasing positive thoughts and decreasing negative ones allows you to achieve success and happiness. For instance, someone who is very anxious and timid can say positive affirmations such as “I am brave, I am strong, and confidence comes naturally to me” to re-wire their brain to allow them to become brave, strong, and confident. Have you heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy or the law of attraction? Our beliefs influence our actions, so if you repeat to yourself every day that you are happy, creative, and loved, then you will become happy, creative, and loved!

    Some of the positive affirmations I say every day are:

    I am joyous in all that I do
    I laugh every day
    I am motivated and work toward my goals every day
    I spend quality time with quality people
    I spend quality time with myself
    I am strong of mind, body, and spirit
    I make time for yoga every day
    I am a money magnet and I attract wealth and abundance
    I am a world traveler
    I nourish my body with healthy food
    I let go of that which no longer serves me
    I make room for growth and change
    I am receptive to messages from the universe
    I learn something new every day

    Positive affirmations can be whatever you want or need in your life, just make sure it is positive and in the current tense. For instance, if you hate your job, don’t say “I hate my job so I’m finding a new one,” say “I’m attracting the perfect job for me.”

    Do you use mantras and/or positive affirmations? Do you want to? I’d love to hear about it!

    I saw these sunflowers at the store the other day and HAD to get them, sunflowers are my absolute favorite! The cats were interested in them too, look for a bunch cat-photobombed photos. I have a couple of sets by myself with the sunflowers that I’ll post soon. First I want to show you the self portraits that I took with Marianna Lane!

    Antisocialdisposition is wonderful and sometimes takes the time to model with me even when he’s swamped with electrical engineering schoolwork. There are totally butt grabs, giggles, and kisses happening in this set.

    All members have access to this complete 45 image photoset with Marianna Lane by clicking here.

    All members have access to this complete 58 image photoset with Antisocialdisposition by clicking here.

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

    ———-

    Happy weekend! From last weekend’s poll it looks like y’all are most interested in meditation, mantras, and positive affirmations. That’s exciting for me because these are some of the things I already know a lot about! Other topics (like Reiki and numerology) I am very interested in and will have to do more research and reading to learn it so that you can learn with me!

    I lumped together meditation, mantras, and positive affirmations in the poll because they can all go hand-in-hand (but don’t necessarily have to). As an introduction I’ll give you the dictionary definitions:

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of meditation:
    -to engage in contemplation or reflection
    -to engage in mental exercise (as concentration on one’s breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness
    -to focus one’s thoughts on :  reflect on or ponder over
    -to plan or project in the mind

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of mantra: a sound, word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating / a word or phrase that is repeated often or that expresses someone’s basic beliefs

    Merriam-Webster’s definition of affirmation: a solemn and often public declaration of the truth or existence of something.

    You can tell that they work well together already, can’t you? Mantras and positive affirmations can easily be integrated into meditation but can be used on their own as well. I’ll share some of my mantras and positive affirmations with you later on in another post. But first! I want to talk about meditation.

    I’ve taken meditation classes, my mom teaches meditation, and I do a type of meditation daily while I’m driving to and from work (yes, while driving safely!). I want to spend more time in deeper meditation than what I currently do but it’s hard to make the time to do it. I need to remind myself that I don’t need 30 minutes or an hour set aside every day for meditation, 5 or 10 minutes is also just as good, and is certainly better than nothing. My mom says that if you can’t find 5 minutes in a day to meditate, then you really need an hour. Meditation is cumulative, every time you do it adds to your total time in meditation and the more you do it, even if it’s just 5 minutes a day, the easier it is to get into a meditative state.

    There are hundreds and thousands and probably millions of different ways to meditate. I know that when most people think of meditation they think of the classic sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed and holding your hands just right type of meditation. Yes, that is one way to meditate, but what if you’re someone who has bad hips or knees or a bad back? That would not be comfortable at all, and if you’re in pain or uncomfortable then you’re not meditating, you’re thinking “when do I get to move so that this doesn’t hurt anymore?” Meditation can be done sitting on the floor, sitting on a chair, laying down, standing up, walking, driving, doing dishes, whatever you can do while clearing your mind or focusing your mind on only one thing. Obviously if you’re going to be meditating while driving (like I do on the way to and from work) it won’t be as deep of a meditation because you still have to pay attention to the road and all of your surroundings. There is a way to drive safely while “auto-piloting” and focusing your mind and thoughts. I want you to know that if one meditation doesn’t work for you, don’t worry, that doesn’t mean that you can’t meditate, that just means you should just try something else next time.

    Basics of meditation:

    -get comfortable (but not TOO comfortable, you don’t want to fall asleep, unless you really need sleep then go ahead and take a nap and meditate later)
    -focus on your breathing
    -clear your mind, focus on one thing
    -if a thought comes, acknowledge it and let it go

    You may have to experiment to see what works best for you. Do you like having incense? Background music? Candles? Do you like creating a crystal grid and sitting in the middle of it? Do you like meditating sitting on a cushion on the floor, sitting on a chair, or laying down? Do you meditate better in the morning, afternoon or evening? Do you like setting a timer so you don’t have to worry about what time it is or how long you’ve been meditating? Do you like movement in your meditation, such as lightly swaying back and forth, toe-tapping, or walking? Do you like the simplest meditation where you just focus on your breath, or do you prefer using a mantra, or do you do best with a guided meditation? What works well for one person might not work at all for someone else. Experiment to find what works best for YOU.

    There are some great meditation apps that have soothing music, timers, and even guided meditations. One I’ve tried and liked is “Insight Timer.”

    I will share more meditations with you in another blog post, but let’s start out with a basic meditation where you focus on your breath. Read the following paragraph and then hold the questions and suggestions in your mind while you meditate for at least five minutes.  Maybe set a timer so that you don’t have to look at the clock.

    Find a comfortable seat. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose and let it all out through your mouth with a sigh. Continue breathing deeply through your nose. Feel your breath in your lungs, your belly, your nostrils. Feel that the air is cool when you breathe it in and how it’s warmer when you breathe it out. Listen to how your breath sounds. Can you hear/feel your heartbeat? Can you make your inhales the same length as your exhales? Can you make each breath longer? Imagine the air as a color coming into your nostrils, swirling as it reaches your lungs, and imagine it dissipating as you breathe it out. If a thought comes to you, acknowledge it and let it go. Your thoughts will still be there waiting for you when you’re finished. Do you feel more calm and relaxed?

    Let me know if you’re able to try this breathing meditation, I’d love to hear how you feel about it! Have you meditated before now? Did you like it? Why or why not?

    Would you like it if I made some guided meditation videos?

    And now for some self portraits! There are also 2 new aerial silks videos! I’m honestly a little embarrassed at how weak I’ve become since I got wrist drop at the end of May (not from doing silks) and haven’t been able to go back regularly until now. BUT! I’m sure my muscle memory will help a lot and since I’ve built the muscle and strength before I know I can do it again. I’ll just not look as cool doing silks for a little while until I get back into shape. It shouldn’t take way too long though because I’m going at least twice a week again! Yay! <3

    All members have access to this complete 80 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.

  • What is Ecosexuality?

    I just finished this livestream on my YouTube channel discussing ecosexuality!

    If you’ve ever been curious about it, watch this video where I talked about what it is, what it’s not, how I express it, and why it matters, along with answering a couple of questions and talking about my own personal experience and history.

    I livestream on my YouTube channel every Monday at 6pm eastern, I’d love to have you join me next time!

    If you’d like to join an intimate and conversation-based live video gathering, I host them every Thursday at 6pm eastern for members of my website! Click here for the tentative schedule!

  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on January 1st 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

    ———-

    First post of 2017! Thanks for sticking around, it means so much to me!

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I would like to go with Patreon and what changes I can make to expand my creativity and my knowledge of the metaphysical and share as much of it as possible with you.

    I’m still mulling over some ideas but would love to hear your input! Would you be interested in different kinds of rewards? Postcard sets, sticker sets, ask me anything videos once a month, monthly one on one Skype hangouts? Please let me know your thoughts! I’m all ears. =]

     And because I love lists…  Intentions for this year:

    More traveling
    More artistic collaborations
    Learning more about everything metaphysical
    Go back to aerial silks
    Spend more time creating and less time on the computer
    Save up as much money as possible and buy a van before the end of the year (to build it into a campervan next year!)

    What are your intentions for this year?

    TODAY (April 7 2020) is a full moon, so here’s a full moon ritual I shared on my patreon back in January 2017!

    ::Full moon ritual::

    On the night of the full moon (or as close to it as you can get), think about what you would like to end, to get rid of, to let go, to release. What no longer serves you? What is weighing you down? What is in excess that you need to shake off in order to be lighter (not only physically lighter, but emotionally & spiritually)? Write down all of those things that you want to end. Make a list, write a letter, stream of consciousness, word vomit on a piece of paper, a napkin, the back of an envelope, whatever you have. Get a lighter or matches or whatever you want to use to create a fire. Take your paper/napkin/envelope and your lighter/matches outside (if there’s no fire ban in your area, please be safe, no forest fires!). Think about all those things you want to end, to let go of, to release. Light your list of all of those things and while it burns, imagine them ending, leaving, drifting away with the tiny pieces of paper that scorch and burn and disappear. Take a deep breath and let it out, all the way out. Feel yourself become lighter as those things that no longer serve you float away into the dark sky to never return.

    All members have access to this complete 104 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.

  • Gender & Sexuality – recording from live video chat

    Password: gendersexuality

    If you’ve been wondering what the heck all of this gender and sexuality stuff is all about, watch this 1hr 25min recording from the live video chat I hosted on Friday! We discussed a lot: cis, straight, transgender, non binary, intersex, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, asexual, aromantic, demisexual, ecosexual, genderfluid, masturbation, nudity…

    If you want to be emailed with the info for future live video chats, CLICK HERE to sign up!

  • Self Defense & Safety

    My sister Gemini has taken a lot of self defense classes and has compiled this list of self defense and safety info and has generously agreed to allow me to share this information with you! It is especially helpful for models who frequently travel alone.

    Let’s talk about self-defense. Let’s talk about being aware of your surroundings. Let’s talk about not being an easy target. We all know there are creeps and perverts out there. Some of us know this more intimately than others. I want to go over some things with you that I have learned in the last 6-8 months attending self-defense classes and police and public safety seminars that will help you think like an attacker. If you learn to think like they think, you will learn how to avoid getting yourself in situations where you might actually encounter an attacker.

    When you walk alone, you are vulnerable. When you look lost and confused, you are vulnerable. When you stare down at your phone and become completely distracted and unaware of your surroundings, you are vulnerable.

    Attackers look for easy targets. If you walk around looking confident, acting like you know where you are going (even if you are completely lost and freaking out on the inside) they are less likely to approach you. They can’t read your mind and know that you are lost and scared, they see a strong confident person on their way to meet friends.

    NEVER WEAR HEADPHONES IN BOTH EARS WHILE WALKING/JOGGING!!! I can’t stress this enough. It’s best not to wear them at all if you are exercising out in public alone and not in a gym. Attackers love the element of surprise that knocks their victim off their game. Music blasting in both of your ears takes away one of your senses. You can’t hear someone walk up behind you. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to an attack. Be smart!

    ALWAYS KEEP YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL: Be aware of your surroundings. Constantly keep your head on a swivel. Take note of people walking alongside you on the street, especially behind you. Check doorways or alleyways as you come up to them and walk past. Take note of parked cars along the side of the street; is anyone sitting inside the car? Is it a big van with a side door? Snatch and grabs happen easily this way. Be prepared, be aware! (I personally try to walk in the middle of the sidewalk, not too close to the cars or storefronts, especially if I’m walking alone at night.)

    PARKING: Park in a well lit area, under a street light is preferred. Before leaving the venue, get your keys ready. Keys are a great weapon! Hold a key between your middle and pointer finger so when you make a fist, the key sticks out on top. BOOM! You now have a weapon! If you stand by your car fumbling in your bag for keys, you are an easy target for an attacker; you’re distracted and out in the open with no protection. Keep your head on a swivel, check the cars around you; is anyone crouching down behind/between cars? Is there someone sitting in the car next to yours? If so, do not turn your back to this person! If you can, go back inside and wait a few minutes. Go to the bathroom (if you just went to the bathroom and feel silly going back inside asking for the bathroom again, say you forgot your lip gloss, something), do something else. It might seem silly, and odds are, the person sitting in their car is harmless, but it’s better to be safe than sorry… it’s better to be safe than kidnapped… or end up dead. Check your car, check the back seats while you unlock the door. Lock your car door immediately once you are inside (before you set your bags down and settle into your seat and adjust the mirrors).

    Make potential attackers uncomfortable: Look people in the eye in passing. Chat with them, engage in small talk. If an attacker knows that you could potentially identify them in a line-up, they are much less likely to target you. Attackers don’t want to be identified. They want get in and get out unnoticed. They don’t want to cause a scene and draw attention. Point out their rad tattoos, comment on their cool army boots, point out their shirt logo… Notice them.

    Clothing, accessories, and hairstyle choices: As models, you often lug around a lot of bags, purses, and other gear. Something to think about: the more things you have on, the more places and things someone has to grab and hold onto. Tight fitting clothes are best. Carrying less bags, or no bags at all, is best. Ponytails are easier to grab than other hairstyles and allows the attacker to take control of you. Scarves and other things around your neck can be hazardous. Heels also make you vulnerable; if you have to run, kick them off, leave them behind, and run! Your life is more important than any of your fashion accessories!

    Being Attacked- First Response: If you are attacked, your first response should be screaming, yelling “STOP” yell anything you think of. Cause a scene and put up a fight. This will deter the attacker because you are drawing attention by making loud noises. If you put up a fight, they will likely leave you alone and get away because you are not making it easy enough on them and you are drawing attention. They look for people that will be easy targets, don’t make it easy for them! Yell “FIRE”, “HELP, MY BABY”, or “MY BABY IS ON FIRE” if the attacker is successful at apprehending you. These phrases are sure to draw attention from on-lookers and passerby’s.

     

    LEARN SELF-DEFENSE!!!  I cannot tell you how important this is. Your body is a weapon. Your life is worth protecting and you have the power to protect yourself! As women, AFAB, or people assumed to be women, we are taught at a young age that we are delicate. That we should not raise our voices or do certain things on our own. Well, FUCK THAT SHIT! We can do anything! We can raise our voices, be loud, and be heard. Taking self-defense classes changed my life. I have more confidence now than I ever have in my life. I feel safe by myself. I feel more comfortable in my own skin. My severe anxiety has gone down quite drastically since I learned how to defend myself. I strongly encourage you to take a self-defense course. Find somewhere to take self-defense classes. Surprisingly, a lot of places offer free or very cheap self-defense classes to ladies. Take your friends, your family, hell, I took my co-worker with me to self-defense class a few times. It is worth your time, attention, money, and energy!

    https://lifehacker.com/5825528/basic-self-defense-moves-anyone-can-do-and-everyone-should-know

     

    PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!

    It is not enough to just watch self-defense videos online and attend a few classes. YOU MUST PRACTICE! Practice moves with a TRUSTED friend or family member. You only perfect the moves if you practice them. Some of the moves are easy, others require more skill and finesse.

    Remember: there is no such thing as a “cheap shot.” If you are threatened and someone is attacking you, do anything you can to get away. Gouge their eyes out with your keys, punch, kick, knee them in the balls, bite them, karate chop their windpipe…. If they are attacking you, they don’t deserve your compassion. Do anything you can to escape. HOWEVER, one good punch or jab does not mean they are too winded or hurt to come after you. It’s not like the movies where they take one hit and they are down for the count. Hit them until they are really hurt, until they are on the ground. Then RUN to a safe place. My self-defense instructor had one rule: I WIN. Meaning, if we encounter an attacker, we walk away the winner, no matter what!

    There is so much that I can add to this, but I will stop here for now. This is just the starting point on tips, safety precautions, and things to think about.
  • How to make a stinging nettle infusion!

    I’ve shared a bit on instagram about drinking nettle infusions every day and people have asked me to make a video about how to make it for themselves, so here you go!

    *I am not a doctor or healthcare professional, consult with them before starting any herbal remedies.*

    Stinging nettle (Urtica dioica) is good for your urinary, digestive, and immune systems, and is a natural antihistamine (so it helps with allergies!). It also contains iron, vitamins, minerals and other nutrients to support your overall health.

    I love nettle and I’ve been drinking it every day for several years (at least since 2016). I hope you like it too!

    Places I get dried nettle leaves: Mountain Rose Herbs (based in Oregon) and Red Moon Herbs (based in North Carolina).