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Tiffany Helms in the Ruins
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So this week the photos that I’m sharing with you are photos that I took with Tiffany Helms, you saw a photoset I think it was 2 weeks ago that I shared with you of her. We took I think it was 3 or 4 different photosets so this is another photoset from that same day. These are the photos that we took in this ruins place that we hiked to that was really cool. I don’t exactly know what it used to be, but it was this cool place on Bainbridge Island. We parked… so we drove like 5-10 mins from her house on Bainbridge Island and parked at a parking lot for a park and walked around and went to this spot and it was awesome! We took a bunch of photos there and I actually also have some photos to share with you on another date, another time, that Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters took of me and some of them Tiffany is also in. This is when I had really long hair and Tiffany also has long blonde hair so we looked very similar. We also are around the same size and height and stuff so that was pretty cool, I’ll share those with you later. These photos are photos I took of her in this ruins area. I think they’re super awesome and I love them and there’s this huge cool tree and it was just fun exploring this place so I’m excited to share those with you. There’s some BTS video and stuff too.
I think… I think this week the first look stuff that I’m sharing is a photoset that was taken by Kara Perry of Embodoe (on instagram) with a roll of my images from my trip last summer, double exposures, so I took this roll of landscapes and Kara double exposed over it with her friend Embodoe, I think her name is Emily? But her IG name is Embodoe so that’s the name I’m going to be using especially since I’m going to be tagging her in this so you can go to her page and look at all the things. I think these photos are super awesome. Embodoe was wearing lingerie that was handmade here in NC by WhiskeyDog Wares so if you need some handmade underwear things or lingerie, totally check WhiskeyDog Wares out, her stuff is amazing. There’s also a couple other photosets that Kara took with my landscape film, double exposures that she took of other models wearing WhiskeyDog Wares that I’ll be sharing with you in the future also. They’re super awesome. I love Kara, I love WhiskeyDog Wares, I’m really excited that they were using some of my film for that.
What else do I want to share with you? I’ve had a weird couple of days, the full moon on Monday… I don’t know, has me feeling kinda weird. I’ve felt very stuck this week and like I want to just sit around and not do anything. I’m going to sit down. Yeah I’ve felt stuck this week, I’ve felt like I don’t know what direction I want to go in, I don’t know what my goals are. It’s been great to slow down on the live things online so I can recalibrate and figure out where I want my time to go. Yeah I’m still figuring that out. I don’t know where I want my time to go. I’ve been working on a special secret project with Lior and Roarie this week. I don’t want to talk to much about it in case things… you know… but, enough about that. Conscious Creativity was INCREDIBLE and exceeded my expectations. That was last weekend on Saturday. If you joined us I am so thankful that you did, and I would love to hear from you on how it went for you and what your thoughts are on it, what you liked, what you didn’t like, what you’d like to see more of, anything you’d like to change. I had an incredible time, we planned it for 2 hours and it ended up being 3. I was blown away with all of the vulnerable sharing that everyone did and the discussion that we had and the valuable conversation and empathy that we had with each other. The way that we… everyone was so respectful of each other and valued each other as humans and it was so wonderful and I super loved all of the movement things we did together. I think that was a really fun way to connect online even though we’re not in person, still being in our bodies is great and it’s something that I want to continue doing.
I’m not sure what’s coming up for the future still, I probably will never know, but I’m glad that I have the time and space now to really feel into what works for me. At this point I don’t know what that is yet, but I have the time and space to figure that out. I’m thankful for yall for being here with me. If you have anything that you’d like to contribute in terms of ideas or recommendations or comments about how I run this website, about how I show up online. I’m definitely really open to that. I value your input and I value your thoughts and preferences and I definitely want to consider that in the things that I do. I really appreciate all of you for being here with me and for continuing to show up every week and for supporting me and for enjoying the work that I put out. I really don’t know what’s next, I really don’t. I definitely want to do more events, more workshops, more group things. Obviously online is accessible and offline in person is a little out of reach at the moment with the state of the world, but I would really like to in the future open it back up to in person events again, because those are so transformative and incredible and I get so much out of those and I know that the people who participate in in person events really get a lot out of them too. So yeah, if you have anything to share with me about your experience here on my website as a member, your experience as a participant in any of the events I’ve put on, I’d love to hear what you have to say. If you have any ideas that you’d love to see from me, let me know. I do plan on doing more video content, I don’t know exactly what that means yet. I think I’d really like to make some mediation and relaxation kindof videos. I have a lot of nature video content that I could use for relaxing ASMR nature meditation chill video things, which is what I’m kinda thinking about recently. Yeah I’d love to have your feedback. I love you, thank you for being on this journey with me, and I’ll talk to you next week. =]
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Tiffany Helms at an abandoned location on Bainbridge Island during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video + photosFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset of Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares taken by Kara Perry double exposed over images I took of Wyoming and NC waterfalls
click here to view the videos from a walk through the woods -
Washington Forest Riverside with Pure Rebel
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! We had a really big storm last night and it rained over 3 inches overnight, so a lot of the plants have been having a hard time and they’re all falling over. Poor plants. I think everything is still kinda moist. Okay, so this weekend I’m sharing with you a photoset, actually it’s 2 photosets from when I was creating with Kristy Jessica aka Pure Rebel last summer outside of Seattle we went to a waterfall in Washington and it was gorgeous! We hiked around to the actual waterfall part and there were too many people around and we just couldn’t find a good spot to shoot so we went back and down the river/creek area a little bit, down the path, and found a spot next to the water with these huge rocks and trees and it was gorgeous so we shot there. We didn’t even shoot at the official waterfall. I shot some photos of her and she shot some photos of me and it was awesome! I was also frustrated with myself because I didn’t realize it until we were at the place ready to shoot and had already hiked up the little mountain trail… that I left my film in my van. So instead of trekking back to my van and then back to the spot, I just shot digitals of her. This was well over a month into my trip and I was starting to… I don’t know be… I guess a little more tired and out of it or something. I was frustrated with myself that I forgot my film so… I think this is actually, with the exception of the photos I took of Ravyn that were digital just because she wanted some content to be able to share sooner than the film… this was the only photoset I took that was digital that I don’t have any film photos of her. Yeah, so I was frustrated and disappointed in myself that I forgot my film, but the digitals still came out really amazing and Kristy is an incredible model so I’m really excited that we got to do that.
I have some BTS video of her shooting me, I don’t have BTS of me shooting her because I was using my digital camera to shoot her and I can’t do both things with my camera at once. The first look people, I’m sharing some photos from Chris Widick in Nashville that he took of me with strawberries last summer before my trip. They’re awesome, I love these photos. I have a lot of cool new things to share with you.
I don’t have a lot of new things to share right now, by the time you watch this video it’ll be Saturday, and it’ll be very close to the event that Lior and Doug and Crossing Hedgerows are going to be co-hosting with me, Conscious Creativity 2020. We did CC last year outside of Detroit Michigan in person at Crossing Hedgerows Sanctuary which is a permaculture farm, but of course because of covid we aren’t able to do an in person event this year so we’re taking it online and I’m very excited. This usually posts at about 8am, there’s still time to sign up and join us because the event is at 1pm eastern, so if you see this video and you’re like “oh I didn’t know, let’s do this” you can still sign up, it’s at the link in my bio on IG, I think I posted about it last week too, I’ll put a link in the comments (CLICK HERE TO JOIN US FOR FREE). You won’t have a whole lot of time to sign up because it’s at 1pm but it’s FREE so please join us, we would love it! Also I’ve been doing some IG lives with Lior and Doug, I did an IG live with Lior on Wednesday and I’ll be doing one on Friday with Doug, and those are just to give you a little bit more of a preview of what to expect during the event so If you want more info you can go to IG and look at those.
What else do I want to share today? I’m doing this early again this week because tomorrow, which is Thursday for me right now, is usually the day that I do these but I will be helping my friend move, so I’m doing this a day early. Also I don’t know if you’ve noticed, my face is real mad at me. All the skin around my lips is real chapped, that’s because I’ve been making out a lot and my face is like “what are you doing?” Yeah my skin is so sensitive when I make out a lot it freaks out and gets real dry. But it also doesn’t help that I’m making out with somebody with a beard. Does this happen to you? Do you get like… really chapped around your face around your mouth when you make out with somebody? Because I do. If you do you’re not alone because look at my face. I feel like it looks ridiculous but I’m just.. you know, there’s nothing I can do about it I can just keep putting stuff on it to help it heal. And also I do not regret making out, because making out is fun.
Yeah I don’t have much else to share today and I want to get a lot of stuff done so this is your video for this week. I love you! Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much! One day I’ll figure out other things that I want to do with all of this but for now I’m just taking it one step at a time. I love you, thank you, I’ll talk to you next week, bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Pure Rebel taken in Washington state during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the full photoset she took of me
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset taken by Chris Widick in Nashville TN
click here to view the video interview with my parents about our unique relationship
click here to view the video interview with my parents & my aunt about their parents and how they grew up -
Washington Forest Riverside with Pure Rebel
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind these photosets with Pure Rebel taken in Washington state during my cross country road trip last summer
- 29 image complete photoset of me taken by Pure Rebel
- 75 image complete photoset I took of Pure Rebel
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18 minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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23 image complete photoset taken by Chris Widick in Nashville TN
- 17 minute video interview with my parents about our unique relationship
- 18 minute video interview with my parents & my aunt about their parents and how they grew up
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Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island from my cross country road trip last summer
- 23 image complete photoset
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5.5 minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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3 nude videos at Hidden Lake in Glacier National Park
- 3 nature videos at Moonstone Beach in California
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Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! I’m here again early. I’m doing this video early because later this week I’ll be out of town and probably without access to the internet, I don’t know. So today’s going to be short because I don’t have a whole lot of new things, just a couple updates.
This weekend I’m sharing photos from my trip across the country, this time it’s photos that I took of Tiffany Helms when I was visiting her on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. It was amazing and awesome! I think I have maybe 3 or 4 photosets to share with you from that day so this is one of the photosets. I am not going to talk too much about it because there’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff that’s awesome and you’ll get a better picture of how the shoot went by watching the BTS stuff and looking at the photos because they’re incredible. So I’m just going to leave it at that.
My update for this is I have officially decided to have the member video chats through the end of July, so that’s this week and next week. By the time you get this it will be just next week. So there’s the one that’s this Thursday the… 24th? 23rd? Time/dates are weird, coronavirus everyone’s at home, does time even matter? So this Thursday which will be before you see this video, and then the one next week which is the last week of July, those will be the last weekly member’s only video chats that I’ve been doing. I have been feeling the need to make a change and I think this is one way that I can free up my time for other endeavors that I want to invest my time and effort into in terms of the community that I want to serve and the people that I want to surround myself with. I have super enjoyed doing these video chats with yall, but I think I kinda rushed into it and didn’t really have a plan and was just like “okay lets hang out”. So in the future I’ll be doing more video hangouts, I just probably won’t have them at this frequency and this regular of a schedule like this. I do want to focus my time on teaching and healing and creating and bringing queer and trans communities together. So that’s what I’m going to be focusing my time on so I’m excited about that. That’s my main announcement thing. If you haven’t made it to any of the members video calls yet and you wanted to before it ends, after this video is released you’ll have one more chance! I think it’s the 26th or 27th, whatever the last Thursday in July is is the last one. So yeah, last chance to get in on the members only hangout before it disappears. I’ll definitely let yall know when I have more opportunities to hang out online.
I’m about to tell you about the next one I’m planning right now! August 1st is going to be an event that Lior Allay & I will be putting on together. This is a little bit separate from Going Beyond the Lens, it’s just me and Lior, we’re extending our Conscious Creativity event from last year that was in person in Detroit. Obviously we can’t really do it in person this year so we’re going to be doing it online. We’re still nailing down the time but it’s most likely going to be 1pm. I have an eventbrite page up for it already in the link in my bio on instagram, CLICK HERE to sign up for free! I just wanted to give you a heads up. We’re waiting on a couple of okays on the time from the last couple of people that are going to be participating with us before we officially start to promote it, but we’re hopefully going to have the time approved in the next day or two. By the time this video comes out it’ll probably be figured out. Today is technically Tuesday which is earlier than my usual Thursday for doing this and the Saturday that this is released. I’m excited, come join me & Lior & Crossing Hedgerows Sanctuary for Conscious Creativity 2020 online. I’m excited, it’s going to be awesome! An immersive online experience, we’re going to talk about gender and sexuality and we’re going to do embodied practices to connect to each other and ourselves. Please join, we would love to have you, it’s FREE! There is an option to donate if you would like to donate to us for future events to happen more frequently or… you know. If you want to donate to the little community we’re creating, that’s an option but for everyone, you can join for free!
That’s all the major info I have to share with you today. I love you so much! Have a great day! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island from my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the nude videos at Hidden Lake in Glacier National Park
click here to view the nature videos at Moonstone Beach in California -
Ravyn Alexa in the greenhouse
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! It’s like 9:30 this morning right now where I am home here. Let’s see… oh it cut off the top of my head… I guess I’ll just hold it. This week I’m sharing with you a photoset that I took of Ravyn Alexa in Portland Oregon, I took this when I was there last summer. It was very fun, Ravyn at the time was living with Corwin Prescott and Nicole Vaunt. If you’ve been in the art world for any amount of time you’ve probably heard those names before. I super briefly met Vaunt like, basically just saying hello, but they were doing some kind of workshop thing there so they were busy so I didn’t get to officially officially meet either of them, but Ravyn used to live with them so Ravyn and I were roaming around the yard and taking photos and it was really great. I’ve already shared some photos from that day with you and I think this is the last photoset that I have. Pretty sure, I don’t think I have any others that I took of Ravyn when I was there. You’ve probably seen the ones of Ravyn and the hydrangeas, and the flowers, and the waterfall double exposures… I’m pretty sure this is the last set that I haven’t shared with you yet, so this is Ravyn in a greenhouse!
The only other thing I really wanted to talk about today was…. I GOT SILKS! If you’ve been around for any length of time you probably know that I used to do aerial silks on a regular basis for about 3 or 4 years. Obviously since COVID it’s not a real safe thing to go to an aerial studio and be around other people. And even before that I had to stop… actually it was over a year ago when I stopped going to class because (there was a bug that was flying to me), because of my budget. It was either keep going to silks classes or get my van. So obviously you know I got my van for my road trip last year so I was taking my silks money and putting it toward the van instead of silks. After doing a bunch of thinking about it and super missing silks…. over time with all of the classes and training that I did I had already spent thousands of dollars, I think it was over $5k just in all the training that I got, and I couldn’t do anything with it because I didn’t have silks. I could do yoga stuff but it’s not the same. I mean, yoga is still wonderful but it’s not like hanging upside down from a silk. So I finally I saved up money and I bought myself a rig and silks and they are now in my bedroom!! So of course it’s super short and I can’t actually climb it or anything. The rig that I have is an adjustable height and it can go between 5-11ft so at some point I’m going to take it outside and make it real tall so I can climb it and really play on the silks. Right now I have it set up as a silk “pole” but I’m probably going to switch it to a silk hammock while it’s in my room and short, because I can do more with a hammock with it being short than I can with silks. I’m super excited, it came in yesterday, today’s Thursday and you’re going to see this Saturday, but it came in Wednesday and we set it up immediately, my dad helped me. It’s definitely a 2 person job to set up this rig because it’s heavy duty and amazing and I’m so exciteddddd!
This is going to be a short video this week because I want to spend more time on my silks! Yay! So… look for silks videos in the future because that’s a thing again now. Yay I’m so excited I’ve missed it so much. I think that’s all I have to say today. I did a lot of computer work yesterday and I know I have more computer work on my plate today but I’m hoping it wont take as long so I can spend more time playing with silks!
I love you so much, thank you for being here. I know that all of my changing is not done yet and it probably honestly will never be done, I’ll probably always be changing and growing and shifting, and I just appreciate yall being here with me through all of it and… I love you so much!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Ravyn Alexa in a greenhouse in Portland Oregon during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and attraction (nude)
click here to view the video of me talking about ecosexuality and sex (nude) -
Ravyn Alexa in the greenhouse
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this photoset of Ravyn Alexa in a greenhouse in Portland Oregon during my cross country road trip last summer
- 23 image complete photoset
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7+ minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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5.5 minute video of me talking about ecosexuality and attraction (nude)
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13 minute video of me talking about ecosexuality and sex (nude)
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Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Good morning! Happy Thursday for me, happy Saturday for you! I’m gonna set this down I think, let’s see if I can do this. Almost. I have to be really far away. Happy Saturday! Hope you can hear me! So today is July 4th, well not today that I’m making this but today when you’re going to be seeing this, and it is not really cause for celebration for me. If you know anything about the history of the United States you’re probably not a fan of July 4th either. Independence from who? Independence for who? Yeah, whatever.So today I’m sharing a photoset that was actually taken on July 4th last year when I was on my cross country road trip last summer. I was in Lassen Volcanic National Park in Northern California. When I was there I saw lots of snow, on July 4th yes, I saw a lake that was completely covered in ice. It was beautiful. I saw trees that had been burned, and it’s a very varied landscape there but it was beautiful. I met up with a photographer there named From the Edge Photography. We camped overnight and got up the next morning and took a bunch of photos in a bunch of places, mostly just hiking away from where our campsite was, into the woods, and that was great. I think he might be sending me more photos in the future but for now I’m just going to share the photos that I have and all of the videos that I have. Some of the videos I think he.. I think they’re like sideways, instead of vertical like they should be, I think they’re sideways. I may or may not be able to fix that before I share them. We’ll see if it’s extremely time consuming to fix it or not, and if it is extremely time consuming then I’m sorry they’re sideways but if it’s something that can be done in a reasonable time then I will do it. So I just thought it would be funny and interesting and cool to share photos this July 4th that I was modeling for on July 4th last year!
I don’t know what else I want to share right now, I’ve been kinda busy doing my own thing and also getting stuff prepared for Going Beyond the Lens with Lior and Roarie, which has been really wonderful and I’ve really loved it, and we have a lot of things that we’d like to do and ideas… I’ll put the link in the caption (CLICK HERE!) of where you can go to sign up for updates. We have another online event coming up for free on July 18th at 1pm. When you go to the link (HERE!) there’s a place to sign up for the Going Beyond the Lens mailing list and that’s where if you’re on that mailing list then you’ll be invited and get all the information on how to join that free video gathering discussion thing. I’m excited, it’s been a really fun project to work on, and I really love working with Lior and Roarie, they’re wonderful people and I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Our first event on Vulnerability in May was really excellent and I felt like we had a lot of really good conversation and dialogue with the participants which I really enjoyed, and for it being our first event we had a pretty decent turnout so I’m pretty excited about how well it went. I’m hopeful that it’ll be a really good turn out for this next one. I think this kind of community for artists where we can gather and talk to each other about art and what it means for us and the ways we go about doing things, I think it’s important and needed, I think there’s a lot of artists that have been yearning and searching for this, I know I have, so I’m really thankful to be a part of this. To help facilitate the gathering of creators and the broadening of our perspectives, I think that’s really great and I’m excited.
What else do I want to talk about? I don’t usually make a plan for what I want these videos to say, I usually just look at my plan for what I’m releasing and just make the video go from there. That’s probably why I’m always like “what am I going to talk about? I don’t know what I want to say.” I haven’t forgotten about the double exposure ebook and the reviews I’m asking for yall to do in exchange for the ebook. I’ve just had a lot on my plate so it’s something I’ve been working on a little bit at a time. I’m not sure if I want to make the ebook much longer or if I want to keep it short and sweet, but there’s at least 20-30 photos in there already, and it’s a 16 page ebook so far. I might just finish it and continue. I’ve also been working on a double exposure mini course, an ebook pdf on how to do double exposures on 35mm film, and it’ll include some links to videos I’ve made for what to do on the cameras and how to load the film and all that kinda stuff, so I’m also working on that. My fingers are in a lot of places. I’ve also like… I posted nothing on my IG in June. I made like 3 posts on June 1st and then I didn’t post anything other than stuff on my stories. So I think I’ll probably start maybe posting again hopefully. I feel like I need to have important things to say and I’ve allowed myself to think about it too much and that has kept me from actually doing it. So there’s that.
Yeah that’s all I have to say today, I hope you enjoy this photoset and these videos from my time last July 4th in Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography.
Video members:
click here and click here to view the full photosets of me at Lassen Volcanic National Park taken by From the Edge Photography
click here to view the BTS videosFirst Look members:
click here to view the video of me hanging out in the back yard during quarantine
click here to view video of me playing with kittens and moving my body -
Lassen Volcanic National Park with From the Edge Photography
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind these photosets of me at Lassen Volcanic National Park taken by From the Edge Photography
- 33 image complete photoset
- 16 image complete photoset
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8 BTS videos
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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6 minute video of me hanging out in the back yard during quarantine
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5 minute video of me playing with kittens and moving my body
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Amanda Jane Maternity
Video members now have access to:
- vlog with the story behind this photoset of Amanda Jane during her second pregnancy
- 25 image complete film photoset
- 9 image complete Instax photoset
- 13.5 minute body awareness meditation at sunset in Goblin Valley
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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61 image complete self portrait photoset of sunset near Canyonlands
- 28 image complete self portrait photoset of sunset on the edge near Canyonlands
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2 minutes of BTS video