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Desert Dusk Self Portraits in Utah
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! I just dunked myself in this little spot, there’s a really big waterfall in that direction but it’s kinda a hike that way. I’ve been hiking today because my body needed to be in nature, my spirit needed some nourishment, and I’ve barely been in my body for days and I know that being out here is one of my most favorite and surefire ways to get me back into my body. Came out here, did some Energy Medicine yoga, did some jumping around just moving, dunked myself in water, rubbed my body all over. You know, coming home. I feel like it’s been a while. This is just a tiny bit of the amazingness that I’ve seen today and I’m so glad I came out. Today I think is Tuesday, I think I want this to be the video I share this weekend though because I feel really good and I’m right here and I just want to share the love with you. I personally have been having rough emotional times for over a year now, maybe I should get into therapy again. We’ll get there when we get there. This is therapy right here. These… sometimes these videos are also to remind myself more than anyone else, that I’m human and that I actually need breaks and I need to spend time in nature and I need time to do NOTHING. NOTHING. Unless I really want to, like hiking around in NC, or anywhere, or dancing around in my underwear or naked at my house, or lounging and just watching bingeing something. I deserve rest, I need to remind myself of this, this is your reminder. Rest could also be movement, rest could be… I mean rest is what allows you to take action. It’s just as necessary. Just wanted to share this with you. There’s campsites that way, yeah looks like it’s a pretty nice place to go camping. So… also… I would love to do more nude outdoor shoots and spend more time outside so please! Maybe I should put out a casting call, maybe I should put something in my calendar, even if it’s just with myself and no one else. I’m not sure what content I’m posting this week, I’m just doing this because I feel called to do it today. I’m sure whatever I’m sharing today, when you watch this today, is going to be wonderful because I’m really proud of all the work that I’ve created. I love you all! Thank you for spending so much time with me every week, or over time in the last like, 10+ years that I’ve been doing this. Anyone who’s followed my journey for any length of time, you’re wonderful, I super value you. I’m so thankful that you’re a part of my life. I look forward to continuing to broaden my horizons which in turn will broaden yours, I’m hoping. If not, I’m going to live my life the best that I can. I hope that I can share as much love and connection with nature as I can with everyone, because yall deserve it. I LOVE YOU!
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi! Since I didn’t remember what I was posting when I made the video the other day, I’m going to make a really short video just talking about the stuff I’m posting this week. Everybody is going to have access to the self portrait set that I took, it’s called Desert Dusk I believe. A lot of the self portrait sets that I took last summer on my cross country road trip have similar names because they were taken in similar places and all within like.. well most of them were within a few days of each other. So I never really have been very good at coming up with names for stuff and I don’t think it’s all that necessary so I just like… yeah a lot of them are named very similarly. This photoset was taken in Utah outside of Canyonlands National Park. I was driving on the road to the park which is pretty bare, there’s like nothing on the way there basically. Once you get out of Moab you’re just in desert wilderness, until you get to the parks, so I just parked on the side of the road and just… meandered. I took a bunch of photos so these are some of the photos I took in Utah. I also am sharing with everybody some stuff I took at Arabia Park/Arabia Mountain outside of Atlanta. I think it was late 2018? Like fall or almost winter 2018, I think it was cold so it was probably late 2018. (EDIT: It was February 2019) I went there, I have a friend who lives in Atlanta and I went down to see her, and another one of my friends met us there, and then I met a DIFFERENT friend who I had only known from IG and we all got together and hung out at the park and walked around and it was awesome. I have some photos and videos from that, it’s just nature stuff. I’m sharing a nude yoga video for this month this weekend. First Look people, I’m sharing the photoset that I took of Eva and KH, Eva Luna & KH, from when I was in Portland last summer. So basically just get ready for me to be posting a lot of things from last summer’s road trip, because I still have a fuck ton of content to share with you from that trip, and also I haven’t really made very much new stuff other than that but I still have so much of it to go through and share with you so I don’t feel bad about not making stuff. I need a break creatively, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and I’m proud of myself for giving myself that space because I do need it. Enjoy these photos and videos and all the things. I love you so much! I’ll talk to you soon, bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset I took in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video
click here to view the photos & videos from exploring Arabia Mountain outside of Atlanta GA last year (this includes videos of me absolutely BLOWN AWAY because there was a fucking BILLBOARD with my NAME ON IT basically telling me to get a divorce lol)
click here to view the nude yoga videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset I took of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach outside of Portland Oregon
click here to view the BTS video -
Columbia River Gorge with ExhibitphotoPDX
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this photoset taken by ExhibitphotoPDX in the Columbia River Gorge outside of Portland Oregon during my cross country road trip last year
- 143 image complete photoset
- 1 short BTS video
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16 minute video – Intro to Ecosexuality (the nude version I shot before doing the clothed Youtube version)
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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144 image complete photoset of me & Eva Luna taken by KH at a nude beach outside of Portland
- 66 BTS photos I took during that shoot
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16 minutes of BTS video
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 6th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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A few weeks ago I spent a wonderful Saturday with Lilith Jenovax & Lucia Brea Quinn. They met me at my parent’s house and we had a fun & relaxed shoot. We talked a lot while we were shooting and my mom and sister hung out with us a bit too. I taught Lilith a few things about photography and cameras like aperture, ISO, and the relationship between aperture & shutter speed. She took some photos of us and even shot her first ever silhouettes!
We all (including my dad who was home too) ended up outside after Lilith, Lucia, and I took photos indoors. My sister Gemini ended up mostly nude and my mom went topless… why not?! It feels so wonderful to have the sun on your skin and your feet on the earth.
I think these photos sum up this shoot much better than my words ever could.
All members have access to this complete 30 image photoset by clicking here.
There are FOUR fancy timelapse behind the scenes videos too! Don’t forget to check those out. =]
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Tiffany Helms in the Ruins
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind this photoset of Tiffany Helms at an abandoned location on Bainbridge Island during my cross country road trip last summer
- 37 image complete photoset
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4 BTS videos
- 7 BTS photos
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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34 image complete photoset of Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares taken by Kara Perry double exposed over images I took of Wyoming and NC waterfalls
- 8 videos (49.5+ minutes total) from a walk through the woods
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Tiffany Helms in the Ruins
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! So this week the photos that I’m sharing with you are photos that I took with Tiffany Helms, you saw a photoset I think it was 2 weeks ago that I shared with you of her. We took I think it was 3 or 4 different photosets so this is another photoset from that same day. These are the photos that we took in this ruins place that we hiked to that was really cool. I don’t exactly know what it used to be, but it was this cool place on Bainbridge Island. We parked… so we drove like 5-10 mins from her house on Bainbridge Island and parked at a parking lot for a park and walked around and went to this spot and it was awesome! We took a bunch of photos there and I actually also have some photos to share with you on another date, another time, that Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters took of me and some of them Tiffany is also in. This is when I had really long hair and Tiffany also has long blonde hair so we looked very similar. We also are around the same size and height and stuff so that was pretty cool, I’ll share those with you later. These photos are photos I took of her in this ruins area. I think they’re super awesome and I love them and there’s this huge cool tree and it was just fun exploring this place so I’m excited to share those with you. There’s some BTS video and stuff too.
I think… I think this week the first look stuff that I’m sharing is a photoset that was taken by Kara Perry of Embodoe (on instagram) with a roll of my images from my trip last summer, double exposures, so I took this roll of landscapes and Kara double exposed over it with her friend Embodoe, I think her name is Emily? But her IG name is Embodoe so that’s the name I’m going to be using especially since I’m going to be tagging her in this so you can go to her page and look at all the things. I think these photos are super awesome. Embodoe was wearing lingerie that was handmade here in NC by WhiskeyDog Wares so if you need some handmade underwear things or lingerie, totally check WhiskeyDog Wares out, her stuff is amazing. There’s also a couple other photosets that Kara took with my landscape film, double exposures that she took of other models wearing WhiskeyDog Wares that I’ll be sharing with you in the future also. They’re super awesome. I love Kara, I love WhiskeyDog Wares, I’m really excited that they were using some of my film for that.
What else do I want to share with you? I’ve had a weird couple of days, the full moon on Monday… I don’t know, has me feeling kinda weird. I’ve felt very stuck this week and like I want to just sit around and not do anything. I’m going to sit down. Yeah I’ve felt stuck this week, I’ve felt like I don’t know what direction I want to go in, I don’t know what my goals are. It’s been great to slow down on the live things online so I can recalibrate and figure out where I want my time to go. Yeah I’m still figuring that out. I don’t know where I want my time to go. I’ve been working on a special secret project with Lior and Roarie this week. I don’t want to talk to much about it in case things… you know… but, enough about that. Conscious Creativity was INCREDIBLE and exceeded my expectations. That was last weekend on Saturday. If you joined us I am so thankful that you did, and I would love to hear from you on how it went for you and what your thoughts are on it, what you liked, what you didn’t like, what you’d like to see more of, anything you’d like to change. I had an incredible time, we planned it for 2 hours and it ended up being 3. I was blown away with all of the vulnerable sharing that everyone did and the discussion that we had and the valuable conversation and empathy that we had with each other. The way that we… everyone was so respectful of each other and valued each other as humans and it was so wonderful and I super loved all of the movement things we did together. I think that was a really fun way to connect online even though we’re not in person, still being in our bodies is great and it’s something that I want to continue doing.
I’m not sure what’s coming up for the future still, I probably will never know, but I’m glad that I have the time and space now to really feel into what works for me. At this point I don’t know what that is yet, but I have the time and space to figure that out. I’m thankful for yall for being here with me. If you have anything that you’d like to contribute in terms of ideas or recommendations or comments about how I run this website, about how I show up online. I’m definitely really open to that. I value your input and I value your thoughts and preferences and I definitely want to consider that in the things that I do. I really appreciate all of you for being here with me and for continuing to show up every week and for supporting me and for enjoying the work that I put out. I really don’t know what’s next, I really don’t. I definitely want to do more events, more workshops, more group things. Obviously online is accessible and offline in person is a little out of reach at the moment with the state of the world, but I would really like to in the future open it back up to in person events again, because those are so transformative and incredible and I get so much out of those and I know that the people who participate in in person events really get a lot out of them too. So yeah, if you have anything to share with me about your experience here on my website as a member, your experience as a participant in any of the events I’ve put on, I’d love to hear what you have to say. If you have any ideas that you’d love to see from me, let me know. I do plan on doing more video content, I don’t know exactly what that means yet. I think I’d really like to make some mediation and relaxation kindof videos. I have a lot of nature video content that I could use for relaxing ASMR nature meditation chill video things, which is what I’m kinda thinking about recently. Yeah I’d love to have your feedback. I love you, thank you for being on this journey with me, and I’ll talk to you next week. =]
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Tiffany Helms at an abandoned location on Bainbridge Island during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video + photosFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset of Embodoe wearing WhiskeyDog Wares taken by Kara Perry double exposed over images I took of Wyoming and NC waterfalls
click here to view the videos from a walk through the woods -
Washington Forest Riverside with Pure Rebel
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! We had a really big storm last night and it rained over 3 inches overnight, so a lot of the plants have been having a hard time and they’re all falling over. Poor plants. I think everything is still kinda moist. Okay, so this weekend I’m sharing with you a photoset, actually it’s 2 photosets from when I was creating with Kristy Jessica aka Pure Rebel last summer outside of Seattle we went to a waterfall in Washington and it was gorgeous! We hiked around to the actual waterfall part and there were too many people around and we just couldn’t find a good spot to shoot so we went back and down the river/creek area a little bit, down the path, and found a spot next to the water with these huge rocks and trees and it was gorgeous so we shot there. We didn’t even shoot at the official waterfall. I shot some photos of her and she shot some photos of me and it was awesome! I was also frustrated with myself because I didn’t realize it until we were at the place ready to shoot and had already hiked up the little mountain trail… that I left my film in my van. So instead of trekking back to my van and then back to the spot, I just shot digitals of her. This was well over a month into my trip and I was starting to… I don’t know be… I guess a little more tired and out of it or something. I was frustrated with myself that I forgot my film so… I think this is actually, with the exception of the photos I took of Ravyn that were digital just because she wanted some content to be able to share sooner than the film… this was the only photoset I took that was digital that I don’t have any film photos of her. Yeah, so I was frustrated and disappointed in myself that I forgot my film, but the digitals still came out really amazing and Kristy is an incredible model so I’m really excited that we got to do that.
I have some BTS video of her shooting me, I don’t have BTS of me shooting her because I was using my digital camera to shoot her and I can’t do both things with my camera at once. The first look people, I’m sharing some photos from Chris Widick in Nashville that he took of me with strawberries last summer before my trip. They’re awesome, I love these photos. I have a lot of cool new things to share with you.
I don’t have a lot of new things to share right now, by the time you watch this video it’ll be Saturday, and it’ll be very close to the event that Lior and Doug and Crossing Hedgerows are going to be co-hosting with me, Conscious Creativity 2020. We did CC last year outside of Detroit Michigan in person at Crossing Hedgerows Sanctuary which is a permaculture farm, but of course because of covid we aren’t able to do an in person event this year so we’re taking it online and I’m very excited. This usually posts at about 8am, there’s still time to sign up and join us because the event is at 1pm eastern, so if you see this video and you’re like “oh I didn’t know, let’s do this” you can still sign up, it’s at the link in my bio on IG, I think I posted about it last week too, I’ll put a link in the comments (CLICK HERE TO JOIN US FOR FREE). You won’t have a whole lot of time to sign up because it’s at 1pm but it’s FREE so please join us, we would love it! Also I’ve been doing some IG lives with Lior and Doug, I did an IG live with Lior on Wednesday and I’ll be doing one on Friday with Doug, and those are just to give you a little bit more of a preview of what to expect during the event so If you want more info you can go to IG and look at those.
What else do I want to share today? I’m doing this early again this week because tomorrow, which is Thursday for me right now, is usually the day that I do these but I will be helping my friend move, so I’m doing this a day early. Also I don’t know if you’ve noticed, my face is real mad at me. All the skin around my lips is real chapped, that’s because I’ve been making out a lot and my face is like “what are you doing?” Yeah my skin is so sensitive when I make out a lot it freaks out and gets real dry. But it also doesn’t help that I’m making out with somebody with a beard. Does this happen to you? Do you get like… really chapped around your face around your mouth when you make out with somebody? Because I do. If you do you’re not alone because look at my face. I feel like it looks ridiculous but I’m just.. you know, there’s nothing I can do about it I can just keep putting stuff on it to help it heal. And also I do not regret making out, because making out is fun.
Yeah I don’t have much else to share today and I want to get a lot of stuff done so this is your video for this week. I love you! Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much! One day I’ll figure out other things that I want to do with all of this but for now I’m just taking it one step at a time. I love you, thank you, I’ll talk to you next week, bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Pure Rebel taken in Washington state during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the full photoset she took of me
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset taken by Chris Widick in Nashville TN
click here to view the video interview with my parents about our unique relationship
click here to view the video interview with my parents & my aunt about their parents and how they grew up -
Washington Forest Riverside with Pure Rebel
Video members now have access to:
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vlog with the story behind these photosets with Pure Rebel taken in Washington state during my cross country road trip last summer
- 29 image complete photoset of me taken by Pure Rebel
- 75 image complete photoset I took of Pure Rebel
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18 minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
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everything above
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23 image complete photoset taken by Chris Widick in Nashville TN
- 17 minute video interview with my parents about our unique relationship
- 18 minute video interview with my parents & my aunt about their parents and how they grew up
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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*CONTENT WARNING: Health scare*
So for whatever reason I want to share my health journey over the past few years with you. I’ve never had health problems except for the occasional sickness or cold every so often, but then within the past 5 years I’ve had to see several specialists for new health issues I acquired.
It all started when I got a weird rash on my arms, torso, and legs that wouldn’t go away for several days and got worse when I was hot (outside, in a hot shower, etc). I went to a dermatologist who took a sample that he sent to a lab and had me use some creams until he got the results back. The results came back and showed that I had a positive ANA, which could indicate Lupus or something similar, so they referred me to a rheumatologist. The first rheumatologist I went to did some more labs (that were not conclusive of anything) and pretty much just told me to pay attention to my symptoms and call if anything changed. The rash had been long gone by then and I was feeling fine so I didn’t go back.
Fast forward to a year or two later, I had my annual physical and got a call about my lab results: my thyroid levels were all over the place and I was being referred to an endocrinologist. Oh, and I had protein in my urine so they referred me to a nephrologist as well. The nephrology visit was uneventful, he looked over my chart and labs and took some more labs and said I was pretty much fine but to just pay attention to symptoms and call back if anything changed. Familiar, huh? The endocrinologist visit gave me a few more answers. She diagnosed me with hyperthyroidism and had me start taking thyroid medication daily. My hair was falling out, I was tired all the time, my joints hurt, I had no motivation…. so she wanted me to see another rheumatologist. I scheduled an appointment with a different one than the one I had already seen. The new rheumatologist diagnosed me with an “unspecified connective tissue disorder” and put me on another daily medication. This medication was kinda scary because it could mess up my eyes so I had to ALSO see an ophthalmologist to make sure my sight wasn’t being affected by this new medicine.
Fast forward another 6 months to a year or so, I wasn’t feeling bad at all and I really don’t like having to take medication, especially something that could mess me up more than heal me, so I started talking to the rheumatologist to see if I could either decrease or stop taking the scary eye-messing-up medicine. He was fine with it after I told him I didn’t really feel any different on it anyway so he tapered me off. I also wanted to go off of my thyroid medication if possible so I talked to my endocrinologist who said it would depend on my labs.
Fast forward to about a year or year and a half ago, it was time for me to have my IUD replaced with a new one. The night before my appointment I saw an article online about reasons people’s hair falls out. This was the symptom that bothered me the most because my hair was already thin and it freaked me out that it was falling out so much so of course I clicked through to read the article. There were several reasons listed but the very last one jumped out at me the most: hormonal IUDs can cause your hair to fall out. My appointment to replace mine was THE NEXT DAY. I researched the IUD I currently had because it had been 3 years since I got it so I didn’t remember some of the details. It was a hormonal IUD, Skyla, the smaller version of Mirena which is for people who haven’t had children. I did more research to see if there were IUDs that are non-hormonal. There is! It’s called ParaGard and it’s made of copper. At my OBGYN appointment I had them replace my hormonal IUD with the non-hormonal ParaGard.
OH MY GOSH what a difference it made! After my body worked out all the hormones from Skyla ALL of my symptoms subsided. My hair stopped falling out, I had more energy, I didn’t hurt all the time… yay! And guess what? My thyroid labs started evening out and my endocrinologist lowered my medication dosage each time I did labwork until finally I was taken COMPLETELY off of medication and told to call her if I had any issues.
Such a simple thing that seems harmless can really wreck your body. My body does NOT like hormones and did NOT do well on a hormonal IUD. One “harmless” thing caused me to have to see a dermatologist, rheumatologist, nephrologist, and endocrinologist. That’s FOUR specialists who didn’t know that something so simple as an IUD caused all my problems.
I could go on a long rant about conventional/Western medicine but y’all probably don’t want to hear it. Haha.
I’ll share photos instead!
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These photos are from my time with Quinn Sanguine, a model from Boston who is traveling over the next several months all across the country before they move to Washington state. I had a great time hanging out and creating with them, and of course I had to incorporate some of my crystals in our photos!
All members have access to the complete 25 image film photoset by clicking here & the complete 21 image Instax photoset by clicking here.
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Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
Video members now have access to:
-
vlog with the story behind this photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island from my cross country road trip last summer
- 23 image complete photoset
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5.5 minutes of BTS video
First Look members now have access to:
-
everything above
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3 nude videos at Hidden Lake in Glacier National Park
- 3 nature videos at Moonstone Beach in California
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Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! I’m here again early. I’m doing this video early because later this week I’ll be out of town and probably without access to the internet, I don’t know. So today’s going to be short because I don’t have a whole lot of new things, just a couple updates.
This weekend I’m sharing photos from my trip across the country, this time it’s photos that I took of Tiffany Helms when I was visiting her on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. It was amazing and awesome! I think I have maybe 3 or 4 photosets to share with you from that day so this is one of the photosets. I am not going to talk too much about it because there’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff that’s awesome and you’ll get a better picture of how the shoot went by watching the BTS stuff and looking at the photos because they’re incredible. So I’m just going to leave it at that.
My update for this is I have officially decided to have the member video chats through the end of July, so that’s this week and next week. By the time you get this it will be just next week. So there’s the one that’s this Thursday the… 24th? 23rd? Time/dates are weird, coronavirus everyone’s at home, does time even matter? So this Thursday which will be before you see this video, and then the one next week which is the last week of July, those will be the last weekly member’s only video chats that I’ve been doing. I have been feeling the need to make a change and I think this is one way that I can free up my time for other endeavors that I want to invest my time and effort into in terms of the community that I want to serve and the people that I want to surround myself with. I have super enjoyed doing these video chats with yall, but I think I kinda rushed into it and didn’t really have a plan and was just like “okay lets hang out”. So in the future I’ll be doing more video hangouts, I just probably won’t have them at this frequency and this regular of a schedule like this. I do want to focus my time on teaching and healing and creating and bringing queer and trans communities together. So that’s what I’m going to be focusing my time on so I’m excited about that. That’s my main announcement thing. If you haven’t made it to any of the members video calls yet and you wanted to before it ends, after this video is released you’ll have one more chance! I think it’s the 26th or 27th, whatever the last Thursday in July is is the last one. So yeah, last chance to get in on the members only hangout before it disappears. I’ll definitely let yall know when I have more opportunities to hang out online.
I’m about to tell you about the next one I’m planning right now! August 1st is going to be an event that Lior Allay & I will be putting on together. This is a little bit separate from Going Beyond the Lens, it’s just me and Lior, we’re extending our Conscious Creativity event from last year that was in person in Detroit. Obviously we can’t really do it in person this year so we’re going to be doing it online. We’re still nailing down the time but it’s most likely going to be 1pm. I have an eventbrite page up for it already in the link in my bio on instagram, CLICK HERE to sign up for free! I just wanted to give you a heads up. We’re waiting on a couple of okays on the time from the last couple of people that are going to be participating with us before we officially start to promote it, but we’re hopefully going to have the time approved in the next day or two. By the time this video comes out it’ll probably be figured out. Today is technically Tuesday which is earlier than my usual Thursday for doing this and the Saturday that this is released. I’m excited, come join me & Lior & Crossing Hedgerows Sanctuary for Conscious Creativity 2020 online. I’m excited, it’s going to be awesome! An immersive online experience, we’re going to talk about gender and sexuality and we’re going to do embodied practices to connect to each other and ourselves. Please join, we would love to have you, it’s FREE! There is an option to donate if you would like to donate to us for future events to happen more frequently or… you know. If you want to donate to the little community we’re creating, that’s an option but for everyone, you can join for free!
That’s all the major info I have to share with you today. I love you so much! Have a great day! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island from my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the nude videos at Hidden Lake in Glacier National Park
click here to view the nature videos at Moonstone Beach in California