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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 17th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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This shoot is thanks to you, my lovely members who helped me reach my last goal. Because of you I was able to hire a model and begin donating $25/month to the National Park Foundation! <3 <3 <3 You probably remember a couple months ago when I worked with Quinn Sanguine for the first time. They came back through NC one more time before making a 3 month road trip/tour ending in Tacoma Washington, their new home. I knew I probably wouldn’t see them again for a while since they’re on the road for so long and then will be on the other side of the country. I’m really grateful that they came back through and y’all made it possible for me to hire them for a shoot. Thank you!!
We met in the evening at my parent’s place. What can I say, I shoot there all the time but I love it there and they get such good light through the giant window in their living room onto their beautiful wood floor! I previously prepared a roll of film for doubles and had the nature backgrounds ready to go on some 35mm for this shoot. We took dual self portraits! You can see the cord for my cable release in some of the photos. I’ve only taken film self portraits either by myself or with Antisocialdisposition so it was really wonderful to experiment with another model. I had this other idea using blue thread to represent the connection between everyone but as you can see in the BTS timelapse, it was such a huge tangled mess so we didn’t use it for that many photos. I’ll have to cut some of the knots out of it and experiment with it again. After we shot the dual self portraits we took some Instax and boomerangs out in the back yard.
We went out for dinner afterward and talked for a couple hours at a pizza place a couple minutes from the house. They have great insight, experience, and advice about polyam relationships, which is very much something that has been on my (and AD’s) mind a lot lately. I’m sure sure if I’m ready to share a lot about this here yet but I’ll just say that it feels like everything happens for a reason and I’m really glad we had the time to talk after our shoot because they gave me a lot to think about, in a good way.
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Check out the videos folder for a behind the scenes timelapse of our shoot AND 16 fun boomerangs that we made together!
ALSO! Brand new this month, I’m doing a monthly nude yoga video and have just uploaded June’s nude yoga video (almost 9 minutes long!)!
All members have access to this complete 17 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 11th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Part of the goal that I met recently that allowed us to go on our patreon-sponsored trip a few weeks ago was to create at least one set to share with everyone. I’m excited to say that I shot enough self portraits that I’m sharing TWO sets with you, one with 15 images and another with 11! YAY!
Click here for the bonus sets! No password required!
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 10th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Thanks to you wonderful members I met the “take a mini trip with Antisocialdisposition” goal a couple months ago and we took our trip a couple weeks ago. We left home on a Friday afternoon and got to our airbnb a little after 3pm. When we arrived all the power was out in the area. Thankfully we didn’t need it at that time anyway because we left not long after we got there to get a late lunch. We are at a Caribbean style restaurant in a nearby town (which was super delicious!) and the power was back on before we got back.
I took a bunch of self portraits in the house that afternoon and that night we took advantage of the giant luxurious bathtub in our bedroom by taking a bath with the Nightshift bath bomb from bloodlilybath. Oh my goodness, it smelled like flowers and dirt (which I love) and it made my skin super soft! I’ve uploaded a video to the videos folder if you want to watch it dissolve. =]
On Saturday we woke up at 5:15am to get to our waterfall location by sunrise and before anyone else got there. We had an entire hour to ourselves before anyone else showed up! Our timing was perfect because we had just finished getting ready to leave when an older couple showed up. We wanted to go to another waterfall location but when we got there it was only an overlook and there were already people there fishing. I want to find the trail to the bottom next time we go.
We had lunch back at our airbnb and then headed out again that afternoon for more hiking. We went to a section of the Appalachian Trail on Roan Mountain and hiked for about 4 miles. There were other people hiking but we still managed to take a lot of photos right off of the trail. We can be pretty sneaky and quick so we didn’t run into any issues. There was one person who walked by while I was struggling to put my dress back on but either they didn’t notice me or they pretended not to notice me. Haha!
After our photo hike we had another relaxing evening in the bathtub, of course! We used another bloodlilybath bath bomb called Darkened Soul that turns the water black! AD took some film photos of me in the bath before he joined me.
It rained all that night so instead of getting up and hiking again on Sunday like we planned, we slept in and took our time checking out. It rained most of the day but we enjoyed our drive home. We took the scenic route down the Blue Ridge Parkway and stopped for lunch in Asheville. We are at a vegan place called The Laughing Seed and it was SO DELICIOUS! I cleaned my plate! There’s a photo of my lunch in the folder for the trip if you wanna see what I got. =]
I hope you enjoy these self portraits I took in our airbnb. I’ll be uploading the film from our hikes and the black bath in the coming weeks so stay tuned for those!
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I’ve uploaded 11 videos from our trip, check them out to see what our airbnb looked like, to watch the bath bomb video, and see me hanging out nude on the porch!
All members have access to this complete 58 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 3rd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is actually ME vs what has been planted into my brain by our culture, specifically American culture. I want to challenge culture.
Ok, I guess I probably should explain. Let’s talk about everyday life and things that are “normal.” You get up in the morning, take a shower, put on your gender-appropriate clothes, and get ready for your day. You leave your house or apartment and drive or take public transportation to work or school. You see other people looking the way they “should” look ie: wearing “appropriate” clothes, women wearing makeup with their hair done, men with short hair and possibly facial hair etc. You go about your day, eat at a restaurant or get something take out or delivered for lunch, finish your day at work or school, and come home to your significant other (most likely of the opposite sex). Sounds pretty normal, right? Of course, because it’s what American culture has taught us is normal.
Well, what would your everyday life be like if you lived in a remote area as a member of a community that doesn’t have the internet or even power, who hunts and gathers and gardens for their food? Normal everyday life would probably be waking up when the sun comes up, doing your duties for the community such as hunting or gathering or gardening, eating meals with family & friends, and telling stories by a fire before you go to bed only an hour or two after sundown.
“Normal” is different for everyone depending on where and how they grew up. American culture tells us that there is a formula you have to follow in order to be “normal.” If you’re not “normal” those who are very deep into American culture don’t know what to do with you and call you a freak or beat you up or judge you or something else that’s not very nice.
WHY do we (people with American culture deeply ingrained in them) assume that anyone that’s not like us is bad or weird or stupid or in need of our help to become more like us? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same. I want to live in a DIVERSE world where there are a multitude of different cultures, ideas, and points of view.
I want to challenge culture. I want to experience things that are not “normal.” I want to do, wear, listen to, be a part of things that make me HAPPY and because I WANT TO, not because it’s expected of me or because that’s what everyone else is doing.
What do you do every day to follow culture?
What do you do every day to follow your HEART?
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This week I’ve uploaded a special acrobatic nude video of me hanging out of a tree!
I’ve also included 2 aerial silks videos from when I was first learning scorpion. One video is me doing scorpion for an entire minute. It doesn’t seem like that long until you’re hanging by your legs doing a backbend, then a minute is a long time! Haha The other is of me doing a skin the cat exit from scorpion. =]
This month I’m starting a monthly nude yoga video! I’ll be uploading that in the next week or two, look for that soon. Yay! I’m really looking forward to creating these yoga videos. I don’t have a great camera for video but I do what I can, it just limits me to videos at 10 minutes maximum length. I have a future goal of buying a nice video-capable digital camera so every pledge helps me get a little closer to higher quality videos just for you!
All members have access to this complete 31 image self portrait photoset by clicking here, the 34 image photoset by clicking here, and all the videos by clicking here.
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Doubles with Tiffany Helms
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! Well, morning for you when you see this maybe, it’s not really morning here anymore. I’m really excited about this photoset that I’m sharing with you this week. I took it on my cross country road trip last year like most of the other sets I’ve been sharing recently and will continue to share because I took SO MUCH last year. I have a huge backlog and I’m really glad because I haven’t really made much this year at all and it’s already September.
This photoset that I took last year on my cross country road trip is of a model that I’ve worked with 2 or 3 times before, Tiffany Helms, who is super awesome. I shared a photoset with yall recently of single exposures I took of her, and these are the double exposures that I took. Of course I’m really excited about them because doubles. We took these on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. What all do I want to say about this set? The singles that we took, we took before we took these doubles. We took all the doubles at a second location. The first location was that really cool abandoned spot that I shared with yall recently. This other location wasn’t super far away but we did drive to get to the trailhead for it. It was pretty awesome because there were like… what were they called? There was wild… food of some kind that I’m having trouble… was it blackberries? Was it… NO it was wild cherries! There were wild cherries on the trail that we were snacking on that was so awesome and it was great. On the way to this place where we shot. I don’t exactly know what part of the island we were on? I didn’t.. I wasn’t the driver during this shoot. Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters was the driver for us and our assistant/lookout. We went to this place that was right next to the water and there was another abandoned building that was different than the abandoned building we previously had been to. We didn’t shoot inside of it but we shot next to and around it. I was most excited about the water and the beachy area because it looked beautiful so we have a lot of photos from that place. I hope my neighbor doing their grass isn’t too loud. I’m gonna get closer so you can hear me better. So yeah it was super fun, I had a good time. Oh yay maybe they’re done! Yeah… it was super awesome. I did the doubles a little bit differently than I usually do… or recently have done. Usually I’ll shoot a whole roll (I mean I kinda did it the same way, but) rewind it, and shoot over it again. Usually the first set of images is all just background images like landscapes and the second set of images I shoot are usually with the model. For these photos I was pretty excited with what we were creating and I actually shot a whole roll of Tiffany, portrait, like closer up mostly of her face. Then I rewound the roll and shot over it all over again with further away, with her more in the landscape. I think they turned out super amazing and I’m very excited about how they look.
I usually did that kind of double where I would double the person in there twice, I usually did that with my medium format camera in the past. I’ve been having some technical issues with that camera for over a year and it’s discouraged me and I haven’t really been using it because of the technical issues. I think I really just need some new batteries, but it takes like 4 batteries. Or 8 or 6? It takes a lot of batteries so I haven’t really shot with my medium format camera in a while. These images I took with 35mm and I haven’t done doubles this way in a long time. I’m very excited and happy with how they turned out, I think they’re incredible. Tiffany is always really easy to work with, she’s a model and photographer so she basically… just tell her your idea and she runs with it. She doesn’t ever really need much direction because she’s excellent at posing, she is one of my pose inspirations. She’s really creative and bendy and I love her funky poses that she sometimes does. I’m really happy with how these turned out. I have the whole photoset to share with you and the BTS video, so look for that! All members have access to all of that.
The first look members I have another photoset that’s self portraits that I took in Utah last summer that I’m sharing with first look. I’m sure you’ll love them, I love them a lot. They were also taken outside of Moab outside of Canyonlands. I’m pretty sure that’s where this set was taken. Yeah, similar to the other sets I’ve shared recently, I took a lot of sets off the side of the road basically. Beacuse the whole place, Utah itself is just fucking gorgeous. The whole state basically, the parts that I’ve been to, Southern Utah, the WHOLE of Southern Utah is very photogenic as you can see in my photos. I’m excited to share all that with you.
In terms of personal stuff recently, I’ve been working with Lior Allay and Roarie Yum on our going behind the scenes, no, going behind the le… why am I tongue tied right now? Probably because I was just on a 4.5 hour video call. GOING BEYOND THE LENS, our project community group, we’ve been working on getting ready for our next event which is Saturday the 19th at 1pm eastern if you want to join, it’ll be about BODY LANGUAGE. I’m pretty excited about this because I think I will also incorporate a little bit of energy medicine in this because it totally relates, because it’s our body. I’m excited about that, it’s something we’re working on. The invitation email went out today, which is Thursday, so if you’re on that list you’ll have already received it by the time this video is released. We’ve been talking about future plans and goals and I’m pretty excited about the stuff we’re working on. I’m so thankful that they’re working with me, both of them, because I greatly admire them and look up to them and really super appreciate all of the things that they have to offer, and the way they move about the world. I just.. they’re both incredible people and I’m so thankful to be able to work with them. It’s been a labor of love creating this community together and figuring out what works best for us and what we need to shift and update. It comes with its own challenges but it’s been incredible and I’m so thankful for everything we’ve been able to do so far and I’m very excited for what will come in the future. We have lots of ideas and I know that time will be needed in order to get to all the things we wanna do. I’m just… we have big plans and dreams and I’m so excited to share it with yall whenever those things actually happen. For now you can join us basically every month for a free event.
Body language on Saturday the 19th! Please join us! I’ll put a link down here! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE FREE EVENT!
That’s all I have to say for today. As you can tell I’m in a better mood right now than I probably was in the last couple videos. I’ve been doing energy medicine yoga pretty much every day for over a week and it has helped tremendously with my feels, my emotions, my stress. I think your September nude yoga video, I think it’s gonna be EM yoga, energy medicine yoga, and I think my mom will join me for it. So… look for that! Coming soon! Yeah that’s all I have to say today, this is already a 10 minute video. I love you so much! Thank you for being here! Each of you are so important to the world and I know that you all have gifts to share and I’m thankful that you’re here and paying attention to me for whatever reason you felt like doing that. It means a lot to me. I love you, thank you, and I’ll see you next week! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island, Washington during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset self portrait photoset of me with two Mesas in Utah -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 27th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Kristy Jessica/Pure Rebel had just gotten into town an hour or two before I picked her up. I drove us to my parents house (ok, you can probably tell I love being there and creating there) and I told her my ideas for our shoot. I had already prepped a roll of film by taking flower & nature images to double expose over. I wanted to take silhouettes to show off the doubles & the great lines and shapes I knew Kristy would create. She did some wonderful and strong yoga poses! I then got some crystals together and arranged them around her for the rest of our photos. We listened to Red Hot Chili Peppers while we shot. Afterward we walked around one of the ponds in the neighborhood before I drove her home. I enjoyed talking to her, she’s a smart, talented, and compassionate person.
It was so incredibly difficult to choose which pictures to post today! There are so many amazing ones, I hope you have the time to look through them all!
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I’ve added 2 behind the scenes timelapses from our shoot so don’t forget to check the video folder!
All members have access to this complete 36 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.
Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.
What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?
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To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.
All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.
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HAPPINESS / FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 13th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I know this is kind of obvious but honestly it’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself sometimes. I need to remind myself occasionally, which is partly why I’m even writing this.
The first thing you do in the morning after waking up, the first thing after getting home from work, and last thing you do before you go to bed should be something for YOU and your happiness. Or if that schedule doesn’t work for you, then choose at least 3 times throughout your day that work. Start off with those 3 times daily and add more whenever you can! It doesn’t have to be something big/major/elaborate.
Part of my morning ritual is to pull 2 oracle cards for the day and pick out 5-7 small(ish) crystals to carry with me all day. It takes only a minute or 2 but starts my day off right and on a positive note. It’s something I can easily do every morning that’s just for me. I have a bad habit of getting home from work and immediately starting dishes or laundry or some other kind of housework. (EDIT 2020: I have since realized that house care like dishes and laundry are honestly self care too.) I’ll be working on doing things for myself after work along with you! Something that might count for me is driving home with the windows down. It makes me so happy to have the wind in my face and hair and to hear the wind and nothing else. See? These things can be very simple, but anything that makes you smile, laugh, or lifts your spirit is worth doing as often as possible (as long as you’re not harming anyone else, of course).
My end of the day happiness/thing I do for me is shuffle my oracle cards and put away my crystals. It’s a nice mindless and almost meditative activity to do right before bed and helps me pick the cards and crystals quickly in the mornings. At night I also like to read or spend time with AD if he’s home. (EDIT 2020: My current rituals are very different than my rituals from 3 years ago. Everything shifts and changes over time, and that’s wonderful! Experimentation and novelty is nourishing for our hearts. I hope your rituals have the space to morph and grow too <3 )
What is something simple you can do for yourself every day?
What makes you happy that you can incorporate into your everyday life and routine?
Your happiness is SO important! Make it a priority and your whole life will change. <3
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Check out the videos folder for 3 hula hooping videos! The weekend I took these I was in such a wonderful mood the entire time and I was spending it with my family. My dad even hooped with me and my sister Gemini in one of the videos! =D He made these GIANT hoops that are as tall as I am.
All members have access to this complete 49 image self portrait photoset by clicking here.
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 6th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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A few weeks ago I spent a wonderful Saturday with Lilith Jenovax & Lucia Brea Quinn. They met me at my parent’s house and we had a fun & relaxed shoot. We talked a lot while we were shooting and my mom and sister hung out with us a bit too. I taught Lilith a few things about photography and cameras like aperture, ISO, and the relationship between aperture & shutter speed. She took some photos of us and even shot her first ever silhouettes!
We all (including my dad who was home too) ended up outside after Lilith, Lucia, and I took photos indoors. My sister Gemini ended up mostly nude and my mom went topless… why not?! It feels so wonderful to have the sun on your skin and your feet on the earth.
I think these photos sum up this shoot much better than my words ever could.
All members have access to this complete 30 image photoset by clicking here.
There are FOUR fancy timelapse behind the scenes videos too! Don’t forget to check those out. =]
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FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on April 29th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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This week I just want to share a ton of positive affirmations with you. <3
I awaken each morning with happiness and gratitude.
I find joy in everything that I do.
I love to share laughter with others.
By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
Happiness is my natural state of being.
I am able to be completely myself in my relationship.
I communicate my desires and needs clearly and confidently.
I know exactly what I need to do to achieve success.
I am capable of anything I set my mind to.
I never lose, I either learn or I win.
I easily find solutions to challenges and move past them quickly.
I live in the present and am confident in the future.
I love change and easily adjust myself to new situations.
I always see the good in others.
I attract positive confident people.
I love myself deeply and completely.
I know that I am worthy of the best things in life.
I fill my mind with positive and nourishing thoughts.
I trust myself and know that my inner wisdom is my best guide.
I nourish my body with healthy food.
Every cell in my body vibrates with energy and good health.
Every inhale brings in positive energy, every exhale expels negativity.
I surround myself with peaceful, loving people.
I release past anger and hurt and attract peace, love, and joy.
I am grateful for this moment and find joy in it.
I am here now.
I am fully present in all of my relationships.
I release the past and live fully in the present.
All is well in my world.
I love you, you’re the absolute best. <3 Enjoy these self portraits with my sister Gemini.
All members have access to the complete 51 image photoset by clicking here & the complete 38 image photoset by clicking here.