• Self Portraits in Utah

    CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:

    *sigh* Hello friends! I was just outside to make this video but then a bunch of my neighbors decided to have big loud machines so it kinda made more sense to do it in here. This week I have a bunch more self portrait sets and BTS videos from my cross country road trip last summer, well its not even last summer anymore, summer 2019, that I’m sharing with you for both the photo/video/PWYC members and for first look members. First look gets more access to more things, as usual, but I’m excited to share these with you. I really love all the self portraits that I took last…. summer 2019. It’s kinda weird watching them and looking at them because I know it’s me, but it’s a version of me that’s no longer with us, it’s kinda like looking at a ghost in a way. It’s me but it’s not me. It’s me then, it’s not me now. It’s hard to describe. But I have those photos that I’m sharing with you.

    I want to talk about the nude yoga video, bc I’m technically sharing what I’d call a nude yoga video with you this month. I’ve been doing nude yoga videos, I think every month since 2017. They’ve increasingly become less like traditional what people would think of as yoga and more of… like energy releasing more than yoga, especially this month. I’ve felt a resistance to “traditional yoga” over the last few months and I’m not exactly sure why. I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I may not do a monthly nude yoga video in the future. I might discontinue those and change it to something else. I would like to focus more on self care and community care and healing and energy healing and energy releasing and energy in general. I think over the last couple of months I’ve stressed more about the nude yoga video like “oh when am I going to make it” and all of that stuff. It’s started to become something that I’m not really enjoying as much anymore so I thought that since there are like… over 30 that you can watch from the past that you might not necessarily miss them in the future if I don’t continue them. So I’m considering discontinuing the nude yoga video and doing something different instead, like energy healing stuff so I’d love to hear your feedback if you have any. That’s something I’ll probably start next month or December or maybe 2021. I haven’t decided yet, but I wanted to give you a heads up that’s something thats going to be changing soon.

    I want to focus more of my time creating content that I share for free with everyone. Of course the more extensive content will be for members. I think part of what I have been missing has been having things to share with people that weren’t behind a paywall, and I think that while I’m not a fan of capitalism, I still have to live within it so I do at some point need to be paid for my experience and my art and my time. At the same time, that makes my content less accessible to those who can’t afford it, even though I do have a pay what you can membership, I realize that $5 a month isn’t accessible to EVERYONE. I want to make more content that’s for everyone, and I’m considering a change of… the weekly posts that I make for yall that comes out on Saturdays, that has a handful of the images from the whole set that yall have access to. I’m considering making that blog post accessible to everyone, and, like currently, only members have access to the FULL set and the FULL video. That’s something I’ve been thinking about. I already do have a free post, I think it’s every Tueday. I have them scheduled through the end of the year… I think it’s Tuesdays. I’m feeling like I want to benefit more people and I can do that if I have more stuff that’s free.

    I’m also continuously pulling further away from doing nude art. Not because I don’t love it. I definitely extremely very much DO LOVE nude art so much. The attention that it gets me from people is not the attention that I want, so I want to make it more understood by my audience, members and non members/just people that follow me. I want to make it more understood that my nudity is not consent for you to sexualize me. What you do on your own time by yourself that I’m not involved in is up to you, that’s none of my business, but as soon as sexual comments come in my direction… like I’ve been harassed this week through people commenting in another language that I had to translate but it’s still rude as fuck, also very much sexualizing me. That further reminds me how much I am extremely uncomfortable with that and that is violating my consent. I love nude art, but it, based on people’s perception of it, that I have no control over, that brings a certain kind of attention in my direction that I don’t want. I’m going to be backing away some from making nude things and sharing nude things potentially, so that I don’t get the attention that I don’t want, and making things that are “fb & ig safe” in order to share my knowledge and experience with people without getting the kind of attention that I don’t want which is sexualization.

    I will forever have a very special place in my heart for nude art and I will probably never fully stop making it or sharing it, but it is not my focus any longer. I am much more than a naked body and I think it’s time for me to show that through the things that I’m putting out there. Just wanted to let yall know that. If you’re only here for the nudity, that’s cool, but I’m much more than a naked body, way more than that. That’s a cool thing about me, I have a body, so do you! But yeah, I have a spirit and a heart and a mind that is within that body that needs to be respected, and I believe that I will have more respect and less violation of my consent through sexualization of me if I don’t share as much nudity as I have been. So I’m going to figure out some kind of balance for that. I don’t know exactly what that means yet.

    Be prepared for potential changes such as what I’ve already mentioned: discontinuing nude videos every month and doing something different, potentially sharing these weekly vlog posts for everyone, not just members, and making it so that it’s continuing to be members that have access to the galleries and archives of my work, and posting and making less nude content in general. So head’s up there.

    I appreciate yall so much, you’re the reason I’m able to do any of this at all. Literally this is my full time job is my website and doing things for yall and making art that is constantly changing I suppose. Art that I haven’t really made this year. Yeah…. I am so grateful for yall for allowing me to have this as my full time job. I dreamed of having this as my job, for years, and that dream happened and it exists in real life now! Now I’m ready to dream of new things. I don’t exactly know what that is yet, but I’m working on it and making little steps in that direction, and we’re gonna see where that goes. Thank you for being what is making me able to do that at all. I appreciate you, I love you, I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful weekend. I’ll talk to you next week. Bye!

    Video/PWYC members:
    click here to view the full 61 image self portrait photoset near Canyonlands at sunset
    click here to view the 8.5 minute energy release and body connection video

    First Look members:
    click here to view the self portrait photoset I took in Utah (Edge of Sunset)
    click here to view the 2.5 minute BTS video

    Click here for the gallery passwords

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  • Self Portraits in Utah

    Pay What You Can & Video members now have access to:

    • vlog with the story behind these self portrait photosets I took in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
    • 61 image complete self portrait photoset near Canyonlands at sunset
    • 8.5 minute energy release and body connection video

    First Look members now have access to:

    • everything above
    • 29 image complete self portrait photoset I took in Utah (Edge of Sunset)
    • 2.5 minutes of BTS video

    Become a member to gain instant access!

    Comments Off on Self Portraits in Utah