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Self Portraits IN A CAVE!
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! It’s raining again which is why I’m not outside. This week I have some really awesome photos to share with you. I have the first photoset that I’m sharing from my time in the cave on my cross country road trip last summer. I was… if you followed all the videos I made every day last summer when I was on my cross country road trip, then you know what happened before I took these, and after, because I talked about it in the vlog. If you’re new to my website I’ll do a quick recap. I had just gotten to Colorado National Mounument and I came in through some back way somehow and didn’t realize that I was actually in Colorado National Monument. I was trying to find McInnis Canyons, and while I did find the parking lot for it, I didn’t trust my van to drive where I really wanted to be, so I gave up on McInnis Canyons and I drove around the park, which is Colorado National Monument, that I didn’t actually realize was the monument because I never went through a gate. You know how at the entrances to most national parks and monuments and stuff, they have a little house thing that has a person that works there that answers your questions and takes your fee to get in and stuff, there’s usually a gate. Apparently I went in through some back way and I never saw a gate so I didn’t realize I was actually in the park.
I ended up sleeping at a trailhead in my van, I just parked at a trailhead and slept there overnight, which I was not supposed to do. The next morning I got up and as I was driving I noticed across the canyon that there was a cave on the side of the canyon, and I wanted to see if I could find it. I parked where I assumed was close-ish to the cave, on the side of the road, there wasn’t actually a parking spot. I’m still not completely aware that I’m actually in Colorado National Monument, I just thought I found some cool ass road. Looking back I should have known, but I never saw any official signs and I didn’t know. I was just real happy about where I was so I didn’t question it. I traipsed around for a little while and I took some videos on the side of the canyon, I hadn’t really found anything yet and I was about to give up, but I was like “you know what, I’m gonna continue walking over here and see what I can find” and I FOUND THE CAVE! I found the fucking cave! So I of course completely celebrated and was super fucking happy and really excited about it. I took a couple of self portrait sets in the cave and some more videos and I’m sharing one of those self portrait sets with you today. There’s like 8 minutes of video that I’m sharing from that cave also, so you get to see me really excited about it. After I was in the cave I went back to my van and I hung out there and had lunch in the van in that space that I parked that wasn’t actually a parking spot. A park ranger parked behind me and started interrogating me and thought that I had alcohol, and thought that I had all these drugs with me and thought that I was like… since I had a mason jar of water which they assumed was moonshine which… why does liquid in a mason jar automatically equate to moonshine in most people’s minds? I don’t get it, I just drink water out of them constantly. So he saw the “moonshine” and thought that… he had seen me parked at the trailhead and he thought that I was like… trying to like (TRIGGER WARNING) commit suicide. He thought I was gonna like drink my ass off and then walk off a cliff or something. Why do all of these “safety official people” people who are cops, why do they always go to the worst possible outcome? I just don’t get it. Anyway. I lied a bunch, a lot, pretending that I didn’t sleep there overnight, because I didn’t want to get in trouble, also fuck cops.
So I was super lucky and I recognize that as a white person that’s probably why I was able to get away with it. If I had darker skin, I probably, who knows what would have happened to me. Definitely not getting away with it and not having any kind of repercussion. If I was Black that would definitely be different. I just want to say I acknowledge my EXTREME privilege and I appreciate that I didn’t get in trouble for this. But yeah that was part of that adventure. If you want to see more of my daily videos that I made when I was on my cross country road trip, I’ll put a link in the caption below (CLICK HERE TO SEE) so you can go look at all of them. Anybody can see them, I posted all over 100 videos that I made for free for anyone who wants to see. So go enjoy that, there’s a bunch of nature things there. Also good luck finding which video it is because there’s a fuck ton of videos, but enjoy your searching! Yeah so that’s what I’m sharing this week with everybody.
First look members I’m sharing a photoset that’s over 100 photos from my time in Goblin Valley. I took several different sets when I was down among the goblins. The parking lot is up above the actual Goblin Valley, then there’s a big hill and down below is this huge valley of all the goblins. It’s really cool, unique interesting rock formations that they call goblins, and it’s a whole valley full of them and it’s wild and awesome. I took all of those different sets and bunched them into one really big set, so that’s available along with BTS video for first look members. It’ll eventually be coming for everyone else. I think that’s most of what I want to share today.
Also I just wanna say my tattoo is healing very well. I’m in the itchy flaky stage, so that’s fun. I’m still washing it 2-3x/day, putting lotion on a bunch. I love it so much and I’m so happy with it! I’m excited to continue, I have 2 more appointments, I have an appt in November and an appt in December to continue. It’s gonna come up here and go here and across my back and down my arm, I’m excited!
Okay this video is getting long and I’ve already told you some stories and also there’s nothing really new in my life right now because… what’s changed since last week? Not really anything. So! Yeah just wanted to say hi and I love you, and YOU YOU are the reason I’m able to do any of this at all. I appreciate you so much. It means the world to me that you support me financially and spiritually and artistically, and friendship-ly haha. Yeah it means a lot. I’m so thankful that you’re here and that I get to continue sharing with you and… yeah. Okay. I love you! MWAH! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset I took inside a cave in Colorado during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset Among Goblins (also from my cross country road trip last summer)
click here to view the BTS video -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 11th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Part of the goal that I met recently that allowed us to go on our patreon-sponsored trip a few weeks ago was to create at least one set to share with everyone. I’m excited to say that I shot enough self portraits that I’m sharing TWO sets with you, one with 15 images and another with 11! YAY!
Click here for the bonus sets! No password required!
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Self Portraits with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello friends! I brought notes because I didn’t remember this morning what I had planned to share for this weekend so, I have notes. Hello! It’s raining here today which is why I’m inside because I’m usually outside and I prefer to be outside but…
I just got a massive tattoo started yesterday and I don’t want to walk too much because it’s like half of my left leg. I can probably show you. I’ve been wearing this skirt which is not super me but it helps me to not have tight things on my tattoo which is sore, obviously because I just got it yesterday. Yesterday which was Wednesday because today is Thursday and I always do these Thursdays, almost always, before the Saturday thing.
So… it’s massive and it’s most of my leg. I’ve got a hawk right here, it’s a Poplar tree, and I have a little froggie down there at the bottom, little frog. So it’s like basically most of my leg. It has saniderm on it and it’s bleeding a little bit and also, what’s the word I’m looking for, sweating out some of the ink still which is why it’s shiny and blurry looking because it’s some ink coming out. I just got this yesterday and I’m so happy about it! It’s so big. I love it a lot. It’s eventually going to continue up my side and go across my chest and the top of my back and then down this arm so it’s going to be like half of my body. I’m so excited! Cover me with plants! So that’s the new thing that’s happened for me recently, basically is getting this tattoo that I’ve been dreaming about for probably a year. It’s going to be quite a while in process because it’s so huge and we haven’t even finished all the outlining because there’s still a lot to go, but I’m really excited and I love it already. So I’m taking it easy for the next couple of days and not moving a lot and probably elevating my leg, and not moving and walking around too much.
Yeah so this weekend I’m sharing with you, okay so the photo and video and pay what you can people are getting access to the self portraits that I took with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn I think I took these in like 2017 or something. These are photos that I randomly found that I somehow haven’t shared with you yet, so that’s fun. It’s from several years ago but I really like them, they’re self portraits that I took of us together. For video, that I’m sharing with yall, everybody… yeah all patrons have access to all the stuff I’m talking about. For the video I’m sharing… oh yeah! There’s 11 family vacation videos from when I was in Tennessee with my dad’s side of the family in 2018 that I’m sharing. I’m excited about that, they’re cool and fun, just hanging out at the cabin that we got and we did some hikes and stuff together so you get some videos of that. I have a nude yoga video to share with you that’s not the usual nude yoga video that I’ve been doing in the past. This one is with my mom and we’re doing energy medicine yoga and I believe you can hear my mom cueing us in this video so if you want to do it with us you can. I will be doing some of this, actually, I’ve already told you about the event I’m doing this weekend, which is the Body Language event with Going Beyond the Lens. I’m going to be leading our somatic exercise, I’m going to be leading us through the Wake Up, which is an energy medicine yoga sequence. I’m excited about that and you can do that with us and you can do more because there’s more than just the wake up in this video that’s me and my mom nude in the back yard doing energy medicine yoga!
For first look patrons/members/people I have another photoset from Goblin Valley to share with you. I loved Goblin Valley it was so cool, and the BTS videos from that too. I think I still have a couple of sets from Goblin Valley to share. Yeah I just have so much, like I have plans through Halloween of the photosets I’m going to share with you. I know I still have more, I have enough to continue sharing photosets with you after that as well, that’s just all I have planned. I’ve barely created anything this year, but I think the backlog that I have is enough to get us through at least a few more months of weekly content, so you don’t have to worry about “oh Bunny won’t have anything new to share.” I still have new stuff, well it’s not really “new” but I have a tendency to hoard content for some reason. But I will have new content to share with yall for a few months at least.
My shifting in what I want to do here is going to go more towards videos and healing type of things like energy medicine and meditation and nature videos and stuff like that. It’s what I’m really called to do more lately. I haven’t really done a whole lot as of right now because I’ve got other things going on in other places, but I do have some ideas and things I’ve started for what I want to do.
I don’t know, all of this like… everything’s changing in my world and continually forever changing like always. I just really appreciate that yall are here with me and spending time with me and supporting me and allowing me to have this as my life which is such a gift. I feel like so much more free than I ever have with any other job. And I don’t know if I would even… like… I guess I would say this is my job, if someone asked me I would say I’m a self employed artist, but I don’t know… making nude content or making nature videos and stuff like that doesn’t really feel like work very much to me, it’s just stuff I enjoy doing. Yall are the reason why I get to do it, so that’s really exciting. Yeah, I know that things are going to continue to change for me, and that also means the things on my website will continue to change. I just appreciate that yall are here and I’m excited to share all the things with you, whatever it ends up being! So I hope you enjoy all the stuff I’m sharing this week and I’ll talk to you next week! Mwah!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset with Jenovax Lilith & Lucia Brea Quinn
click here to view the videos from a family vacation in Tennessee in 2018 (WHYYYYYY do I hoard content?! haha)
click here to view the nude energy medicine yoga video with my mom! She gives verbal cues so you can do it with us!First Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset in Goblin Valley (Enclosed)
click here to view the BTS video -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 10th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Thanks to you wonderful members I met the “take a mini trip with Antisocialdisposition” goal a couple months ago and we took our trip a couple weeks ago. We left home on a Friday afternoon and got to our airbnb a little after 3pm. When we arrived all the power was out in the area. Thankfully we didn’t need it at that time anyway because we left not long after we got there to get a late lunch. We are at a Caribbean style restaurant in a nearby town (which was super delicious!) and the power was back on before we got back.
I took a bunch of self portraits in the house that afternoon and that night we took advantage of the giant luxurious bathtub in our bedroom by taking a bath with the Nightshift bath bomb from bloodlilybath. Oh my goodness, it smelled like flowers and dirt (which I love) and it made my skin super soft! I’ve uploaded a video to the videos folder if you want to watch it dissolve. =]
On Saturday we woke up at 5:15am to get to our waterfall location by sunrise and before anyone else got there. We had an entire hour to ourselves before anyone else showed up! Our timing was perfect because we had just finished getting ready to leave when an older couple showed up. We wanted to go to another waterfall location but when we got there it was only an overlook and there were already people there fishing. I want to find the trail to the bottom next time we go.
We had lunch back at our airbnb and then headed out again that afternoon for more hiking. We went to a section of the Appalachian Trail on Roan Mountain and hiked for about 4 miles. There were other people hiking but we still managed to take a lot of photos right off of the trail. We can be pretty sneaky and quick so we didn’t run into any issues. There was one person who walked by while I was struggling to put my dress back on but either they didn’t notice me or they pretended not to notice me. Haha!
After our photo hike we had another relaxing evening in the bathtub, of course! We used another bloodlilybath bath bomb called Darkened Soul that turns the water black! AD took some film photos of me in the bath before he joined me.
It rained all that night so instead of getting up and hiking again on Sunday like we planned, we slept in and took our time checking out. It rained most of the day but we enjoyed our drive home. We took the scenic route down the Blue Ridge Parkway and stopped for lunch in Asheville. We are at a vegan place called The Laughing Seed and it was SO DELICIOUS! I cleaned my plate! There’s a photo of my lunch in the folder for the trip if you wanna see what I got. =]
I hope you enjoy these self portraits I took in our airbnb. I’ll be uploading the film from our hikes and the black bath in the coming weeks so stay tuned for those!
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I’ve uploaded 11 videos from our trip, check them out to see what our airbnb looked like, to watch the bath bomb video, and see me hanging out nude on the porch!
All members have access to this complete 58 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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Desert Rock Self Portraits
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello! *sigh* So if you’re into astrology you probably know that Mars Retrograde started on the 9th. It’s gonna be for 2 whole months and I’ve already been feeling it a lot. A lot of extra anxiety and my body has felt weird and weak and restless and harder to be grounded for me personally. I’ve been losing myself dissociating on social media and not being present, which I have recognized and it’s kindof an ongoing recurring thing for me. It’s not just during certain astrological transits. If I have any uncomfortable feelings at all it’s like “okay let’s distract myself from this and pretend it’s not real and ignore all my feelings” and I realize that this is not a good coping strategy. I mean it’s okay in the moment for me sometimes but usually it ends with me feeling even worse. So, I guess I’m starting this video by letting you know that I’m feeling a lot of weird complicated uncomfortable things recently, so you probably have too. I just wanted to let you know that all of our feelings are valid. This is also a reminder for me, because honestly I think that a lot of the things that I create, I really create them for myself. I have an understanding that as living beings we’re all connected, so anything I create for myself is really also for everyone else, and anything that I create for someone else is really also for me. Maybe that’s why I haven’t wanted to create hardly at all this year, I’ve felt really… disconnected from all of it. And myself. With the pandemic and being at home so much more and having so few social engagements, well basically none, except for online things. It’s really brought up a lot of past trauma things for me which hasn’t been easy. Hence, dissociating and avoiding my feelings. I just wanted to be open here with yall and let you know… not always gonna be happy, not always gonna be uplifting and creative and inspirational, you know sometimes I just need to sit in my shit, even though that’s hard to do.
*sigh* Okay, I didn’t just come here to tell you about things that are uncomfortable. I also am here to tell you about thephotosets that I’m sharing this weekend. I have a photoset, another one that I took outside of Moab in Utah that I’m sharing with everybody, including the BTS stuff, BTS video. That’ll be for everyone. I also have the first photoset that I’ll be sharing from Goblin Valley, which is also in Utah, it’s just another part of Utah, a couple hours from Moab. The first photoset that I’m sharing from Goblin Valley will be available this weekend for First Look members, and the BTS video of that too.
Yeah, so it’s kinda weird when I look back on all these self portraits from last summer. I remember experiencing them, and doing all of that, and it also feels like someone else. Because I did all of that before I really knew, uh… more of my gender identity. So it’s like, looking at a ghost almost. And I’m feeling emotional and probably gonna cry and that’s okay. I think part of why I haven’t wanted to create this year is because I have a better understanding of who I am and I have a fear of people misunderstanding my nudity as consent to be sexualized, because that’s the most uncomfortable thing for me and brings up trauma responses. And while I feel comfortable in my skin, obviously, when other people sexualize me and bring it to my attention, that’s when I have a really big problem. And for some reason when people see somebody nude on the internet it makes them think that they can send them a dick pic or expect sex from them or expect attention of any kind. No that is not the reason I exist on the internet. I’m basically here for the opposite of that, I’m here to affirm that nudity is not sexual. It could be, but that should not be the assumption. My trans identity is valid and sacred. I’m just tired of being perceived, as something that I’m not. I’m kinda just tired of being perceived in general, like please don’t perceive me. Most people’s assumptions of who I am are… wrong. And I mean it’s not my job to correct everyone and make sure that everyone knows who I am, because I value privacy and having things that are just for me. At the same time I want to be that voice and that image out in the world that affirms people like me. Cisheteromonogamy culture is so huge and their voices are so loud, that I almost feel like it’s my responsibility as someone that’s outside of that, to say that that’s not the only option, and that’s not the only valid and reasonable way to live. Also I feel like I put too much responsibility on myself, I’m just one person and I can’t open up the perspectives of everyone in the world by simply existing and sharing myself on the internet, but….. *sigh*
I want yall to know that I value and appreciate all of you so much. The fact that I continuously every week come back to make videos and share content with you is… simply because I appreciate you and I couldn’t do any of this without you. So I greatly appreciate your contribution to me being able to know more about myself, and to support myself, and to hopefully make a positive difference in the world, even if it’s not huge, as long as it’s something. Yeah things are just hard right now. I hope that you’re not taking this Mars retrograde as difficult as I’m taking it. I know that I’m just doing my best so you probably are too.
I love you and I’m thankful for you and I still feel like there’s major changes coming in terms of my website and what I offer here, but I’m still not sure what that is, but I’ll keep reminding you because change is inevitable. I’ve already changed and shifted things about my website a bunch of times already, I just don’t want to surprise you too much when things change again. But we have time because I don’t know what that is yet! Okay this video is getting long, and I don’t really have anything else to say, but I love you, thank you. <3
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset of me in the rocky desert in Utah during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the self portrait photoset of me in Goblin Valley (Between)
click here to view the BTS video -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 3rd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what is actually ME vs what has been planted into my brain by our culture, specifically American culture. I want to challenge culture.
Ok, I guess I probably should explain. Let’s talk about everyday life and things that are “normal.” You get up in the morning, take a shower, put on your gender-appropriate clothes, and get ready for your day. You leave your house or apartment and drive or take public transportation to work or school. You see other people looking the way they “should” look ie: wearing “appropriate” clothes, women wearing makeup with their hair done, men with short hair and possibly facial hair etc. You go about your day, eat at a restaurant or get something take out or delivered for lunch, finish your day at work or school, and come home to your significant other (most likely of the opposite sex). Sounds pretty normal, right? Of course, because it’s what American culture has taught us is normal.
Well, what would your everyday life be like if you lived in a remote area as a member of a community that doesn’t have the internet or even power, who hunts and gathers and gardens for their food? Normal everyday life would probably be waking up when the sun comes up, doing your duties for the community such as hunting or gathering or gardening, eating meals with family & friends, and telling stories by a fire before you go to bed only an hour or two after sundown.
“Normal” is different for everyone depending on where and how they grew up. American culture tells us that there is a formula you have to follow in order to be “normal.” If you’re not “normal” those who are very deep into American culture don’t know what to do with you and call you a freak or beat you up or judge you or something else that’s not very nice.
WHY do we (people with American culture deeply ingrained in them) assume that anyone that’s not like us is bad or weird or stupid or in need of our help to become more like us? I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same. I want to live in a DIVERSE world where there are a multitude of different cultures, ideas, and points of view.
I want to challenge culture. I want to experience things that are not “normal.” I want to do, wear, listen to, be a part of things that make me HAPPY and because I WANT TO, not because it’s expected of me or because that’s what everyone else is doing.
What do you do every day to follow culture?
What do you do every day to follow your HEART?
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This week I’ve uploaded a special acrobatic nude video of me hanging out of a tree!
I’ve also included 2 aerial silks videos from when I was first learning scorpion. One video is me doing scorpion for an entire minute. It doesn’t seem like that long until you’re hanging by your legs doing a backbend, then a minute is a long time! Haha The other is of me doing a skin the cat exit from scorpion. =]
This month I’m starting a monthly nude yoga video! I’ll be uploading that in the next week or two, look for that soon. Yay! I’m really looking forward to creating these yoga videos. I don’t have a great camera for video but I do what I can, it just limits me to videos at 10 minutes maximum length. I have a future goal of buying a nice video-capable digital camera so every pledge helps me get a little closer to higher quality videos just for you!
All members have access to this complete 31 image self portrait photoset by clicking here, the 34 image photoset by clicking here, and all the videos by clicking here.
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Doubles with Tiffany Helms
CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello good morning! Well, morning for you when you see this maybe, it’s not really morning here anymore. I’m really excited about this photoset that I’m sharing with you this week. I took it on my cross country road trip last year like most of the other sets I’ve been sharing recently and will continue to share because I took SO MUCH last year. I have a huge backlog and I’m really glad because I haven’t really made much this year at all and it’s already September.
This photoset that I took last year on my cross country road trip is of a model that I’ve worked with 2 or 3 times before, Tiffany Helms, who is super awesome. I shared a photoset with yall recently of single exposures I took of her, and these are the double exposures that I took. Of course I’m really excited about them because doubles. We took these on Bainbridge Island where she lives outside of Seattle. What all do I want to say about this set? The singles that we took, we took before we took these doubles. We took all the doubles at a second location. The first location was that really cool abandoned spot that I shared with yall recently. This other location wasn’t super far away but we did drive to get to the trailhead for it. It was pretty awesome because there were like… what were they called? There was wild… food of some kind that I’m having trouble… was it blackberries? Was it… NO it was wild cherries! There were wild cherries on the trail that we were snacking on that was so awesome and it was great. On the way to this place where we shot. I don’t exactly know what part of the island we were on? I didn’t.. I wasn’t the driver during this shoot. Tiffany’s partner Jeff Waters was the driver for us and our assistant/lookout. We went to this place that was right next to the water and there was another abandoned building that was different than the abandoned building we previously had been to. We didn’t shoot inside of it but we shot next to and around it. I was most excited about the water and the beachy area because it looked beautiful so we have a lot of photos from that place. I hope my neighbor doing their grass isn’t too loud. I’m gonna get closer so you can hear me better. So yeah it was super fun, I had a good time. Oh yay maybe they’re done! Yeah… it was super awesome. I did the doubles a little bit differently than I usually do… or recently have done. Usually I’ll shoot a whole roll (I mean I kinda did it the same way, but) rewind it, and shoot over it again. Usually the first set of images is all just background images like landscapes and the second set of images I shoot are usually with the model. For these photos I was pretty excited with what we were creating and I actually shot a whole roll of Tiffany, portrait, like closer up mostly of her face. Then I rewound the roll and shot over it all over again with further away, with her more in the landscape. I think they turned out super amazing and I’m very excited about how they look.
I usually did that kind of double where I would double the person in there twice, I usually did that with my medium format camera in the past. I’ve been having some technical issues with that camera for over a year and it’s discouraged me and I haven’t really been using it because of the technical issues. I think I really just need some new batteries, but it takes like 4 batteries. Or 8 or 6? It takes a lot of batteries so I haven’t really shot with my medium format camera in a while. These images I took with 35mm and I haven’t done doubles this way in a long time. I’m very excited and happy with how they turned out, I think they’re incredible. Tiffany is always really easy to work with, she’s a model and photographer so she basically… just tell her your idea and she runs with it. She doesn’t ever really need much direction because she’s excellent at posing, she is one of my pose inspirations. She’s really creative and bendy and I love her funky poses that she sometimes does. I’m really happy with how these turned out. I have the whole photoset to share with you and the BTS video, so look for that! All members have access to all of that.
The first look members I have another photoset that’s self portraits that I took in Utah last summer that I’m sharing with first look. I’m sure you’ll love them, I love them a lot. They were also taken outside of Moab outside of Canyonlands. I’m pretty sure that’s where this set was taken. Yeah, similar to the other sets I’ve shared recently, I took a lot of sets off the side of the road basically. Beacuse the whole place, Utah itself is just fucking gorgeous. The whole state basically, the parts that I’ve been to, Southern Utah, the WHOLE of Southern Utah is very photogenic as you can see in my photos. I’m excited to share all that with you.
In terms of personal stuff recently, I’ve been working with Lior Allay and Roarie Yum on our going behind the scenes, no, going behind the le… why am I tongue tied right now? Probably because I was just on a 4.5 hour video call. GOING BEYOND THE LENS, our project community group, we’ve been working on getting ready for our next event which is Saturday the 19th at 1pm eastern if you want to join, it’ll be about BODY LANGUAGE. I’m pretty excited about this because I think I will also incorporate a little bit of energy medicine in this because it totally relates, because it’s our body. I’m excited about that, it’s something we’re working on. The invitation email went out today, which is Thursday, so if you’re on that list you’ll have already received it by the time this video is released. We’ve been talking about future plans and goals and I’m pretty excited about the stuff we’re working on. I’m so thankful that they’re working with me, both of them, because I greatly admire them and look up to them and really super appreciate all of the things that they have to offer, and the way they move about the world. I just.. they’re both incredible people and I’m so thankful to be able to work with them. It’s been a labor of love creating this community together and figuring out what works best for us and what we need to shift and update. It comes with its own challenges but it’s been incredible and I’m so thankful for everything we’ve been able to do so far and I’m very excited for what will come in the future. We have lots of ideas and I know that time will be needed in order to get to all the things we wanna do. I’m just… we have big plans and dreams and I’m so excited to share it with yall whenever those things actually happen. For now you can join us basically every month for a free event.
Body language on Saturday the 19th! Please join us! I’ll put a link down here! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE FREE EVENT!
That’s all I have to say for today. As you can tell I’m in a better mood right now than I probably was in the last couple videos. I’ve been doing energy medicine yoga pretty much every day for over a week and it has helped tremendously with my feels, my emotions, my stress. I think your September nude yoga video, I think it’s gonna be EM yoga, energy medicine yoga, and I think my mom will join me for it. So… look for that! Coming soon! Yeah that’s all I have to say today, this is already a 10 minute video. I love you so much! Thank you for being here! Each of you are so important to the world and I know that you all have gifts to share and I’m thankful that you’re here and paying attention to me for whatever reason you felt like doing that. It means a lot to me. I love you, thank you, and I’ll see you next week! Bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full double exposure photoset of Tiffany Helms on Bainbridge Island, Washington during my cross country road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS videoFirst Look members:
click here to view the photoset self portrait photoset of me with two Mesas in Utah -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 27th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Kristy Jessica/Pure Rebel had just gotten into town an hour or two before I picked her up. I drove us to my parents house (ok, you can probably tell I love being there and creating there) and I told her my ideas for our shoot. I had already prepped a roll of film by taking flower & nature images to double expose over. I wanted to take silhouettes to show off the doubles & the great lines and shapes I knew Kristy would create. She did some wonderful and strong yoga poses! I then got some crystals together and arranged them around her for the rest of our photos. We listened to Red Hot Chili Peppers while we shot. Afterward we walked around one of the ponds in the neighborhood before I drove her home. I enjoyed talking to her, she’s a smart, talented, and compassionate person.
It was so incredibly difficult to choose which pictures to post today! There are so many amazing ones, I hope you have the time to look through them all!
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I’ve added 2 behind the scenes timelapses from our shoot so don’t forget to check the video folder!
All members have access to this complete 36 image photoset by clicking here and the videos by clicking here.
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Formations at Dusk Self Portraits
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hello, good morning. This week I’m sharing another self portrait set from Utah last summer. I have a whole lot of self portrait sets from last summer to share so this is… another one that was taken outside of Canyonlands National Park outside of Moab. It’s the road that goes to Canyonlands… it’s I mean it’s not just Canyonlands within the park that’s beautiful, it’s everything around there, so I didn’t even have to be in the park. There’s a few places to park in little parking lots on the side of the road before you get to the park. This is one of the spaces I was in, and it’s fucking gorgeous beautiful, and it was just starting to get dark so it was dusk. I have a mosquito on me, wonderful. Mosquitoes have been so bad this year. So yeah those are available for everyone to see, including the behind the scenes which is really short because I was taking all of my self portraits very quickly, you’ll see in the video, and the video is only I think 2 minutes long. And I got I think 40 or 50 self portraits in 2 minutes. I took a lot of real quick self portraits over the summer, because I didn’t know if someone was gonna find me and walk up and be like “oh there’s a naked person here” so there’s that.
I’m also sharing with everyone a video that I made last year, I think it was this time last year honestly, about reparations. If you’re a BIPOC and that is kindof triggering for you… like reparations itself I think isn’t triggering, it’s an excellent thing that we should definitely be doing. Collectively, individually, and govts and stuff, reparations need to be given out for sure, there’s no question of it in my mind. But I did discuss things that could be triggering, like the reason why we need reparations. So if that kind of thing is triggering for you, definitely use your discretion on what’s best for you and your mental health and what you want to consume or not. It will not hurt my feelings if you don’t want to watch the video. It’s basically me just talking to the camera about reparations and about this article that I read about reparations which is amazing. I’ll link it in the caption below (CLICK HERE TO READ IT) so if you want to read that article, that’s available to you. I think it’s called The Case for Reparations by… I’m probably going to butcher their name but it’s Ta-Nehisi Coates. I’m not sure if I’m saying their name right or not, but hopefully it’s close. But it’s amazing, if you need more information definitely check the article out, I’ll link to it.
Other things that I’m sharing, First Look people are getting the photos that I took of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach outside of Portland last summer. I shared some of the single exposures that I took last week with First Look, so this week they’re getting the double exposures which are super my favorite of course duh doubles are my favorite always. I’m excited for you to see those, I have BTS for that as well, I think it’s like 15 minutes of BTS, it’s a lot longer than my self portrait BTS video. I’m excited to share all that with you this week. I don’t have a lot to say personally, there’s not really been much going on for me in a little bit. I am finding a better way to schedule my days, or I’m in the process of beginning to find a better way to schedule my days, so that’s an improvement. I’m supposed to probably start my period in the next week or so, so I’m a little more emotional currently, which I’m kinda embracing a little bit, because I have a history of not really feeling my feelings, so I want to lean into feeling my feelings because I deserve to feel them. And so do you, you deserve to feel your feelings too.
This will be a short video today, I just wanted to say hi and I love you and I’m so glad you’re here. I’d love to hear what you think about all these photos I’m sharing with you, or what your thoughts on reparations are. Honestly if your thoughts on reparations are that you don’t want to do it or it’s “unnecessary” then I don’t want to hear your opinion, because I don’t think there’s a way you can convince me that we should not do reparations. I do think that reparations can come in the form of abolishing our government, and abolishing police, and abolishing ICE and taking all the money that’s in all of those things, including our fucking military, hello. All of that money could go into the community and that could be a form of reparations. Also individually taking money out of your pocket and giving it to people of color. All of those things are wonderful. Let’s be gay and do crime.
Okay I love you thank you for being here, I would love to hear what kinds of things you’re personally doing for reparations, or ways you think it could be done through the government. I’m kindof against the government I’m totally an abolitionist, but I think there’s a way to dismantle the systems that are in place and replace them with things that actually work for everyone, but it’s just going to be a process. So this video ended up being longer than I expected, but yes okay. I love you, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you next week, bye!
Video members:
click here to view the full self portrait photoset I took in Utah during my cross county road trip last summer
click here to view the BTS video
click here to view the video talking about reparations (content warning: I speak about injustice and violence toward BIPOC)First Look members:
click here to view the photoset double exposure photoset I took of Eva Luna & KH outside of Portland
click here to view the BTS video -
FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET
I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3
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Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.
Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.
What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?
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To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.
All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.