photo access
-
Olympia with Mandy Darling
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This is the second to last week of these weekly posts! Holy cow! It’s already like… wow February is flying. This week I’ll be sharing a photoset that’s kinda like a mixed photoset of several mediums. I think it’s digital, 35mm, medium format, and polaroid, I think? from Mandy Darling photographing me when I was in Olympia during my cross country road trip in 2019. Yeah I told you I have a whole lot from that trip I’m still posting, and this is not all of it, you’re gonna see a lot more when I do that mass upload in March. But for now, here’s a bunch of photos that Mandy Darling took of me, this was outside of her parent’s house in Olympia I believe? It was her parent’s house, it was a really beautiful place full of gardens and surrounded by woods and it was beautiful. I had a really great time so I hope you enjoy these photos. I don’t have BTS video, but the video from this week I’m sharing is actually a pretty fun video that I made in the spring of 2020. It’s multiple videos, I think it’s like 8 videos. In the spring of 2020 I took a walk in the woods that are behind my house to go to the ponds that are in my neighborhood, there’s a couple of little secret ponds hidden in the woods so it was me taking a walk in the woods and bringing you with me. Some of my favorite parts of this video are when I see little tiny frogs in the grass, there were so many tiny frogs this spring, it was so cute, I’m really excited to see them again. I think there’s a couple of moments when I’m searching for frogs and you can see how cute and tiny they are. So yeah just hanging out in the woods and taking you with me so I hope you enjoy that.
First look people, I will be sharing the double exposures that I took of Lior Allay during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens that was in December of 2020. It was so great, they were so amazing. I did doubles of them during this event and people that were at the event helped… what’s the word? helped direct Lior for some of the poses. So the last I think 6 poses of theirs that you see were directed by people that were at the event, so that was super fun and exciting, I really loved it. It was really enjoyable to create together as a group. I had never experienced anything like that and it was amazing. These doubles were taken with the photos of Bryce Canyon that I took during my cross country road trip. I hope you enjoy all of those.
If you are new here I’ll give you a recap of what is happening very soon. February I’ll do weekly posts like this through the end of February, so after this week there’s one more week of these weekly posts, and then starting in March I’ll be doing monthly members-only hangout gathering virtual live “in person” events, and you’ll also be able to get free admission to some of the paid events that I’ll be participating in or leading that are outside of just members only, they’re also for the public but they have to pay, but members will get to be in there for free. That and I will be in March also mass uploading everything from first look and my backlog which first look hasn’t even seen yet because I have so much content. I’m a little nervous about it because it’s a big change, I’ve been doing for the most part ish, weekly posts like this, since 2016 or 2017, so this is a big major change. I’m really excited about it because it’s going to allow me to have more time to create more free resources for everyone and to have more community experiences, which I’m much more interested in, where I’m in a community where we co-facilitate/cocreate an event together versus right now where I’m just like talking AT you and giving you access to stuff. That’s not as connecting for me, and I’m exited to get to know yall a little better and just…. nurture community. I think we all need community, especially during covid. If you have any questions please let me know, you can comment on this post, you can send me an email, you can contact me in another way if you want. Yeah I’m excited even though I’m scared. A lot will be changing, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this is going to go, because instead of talking AT you, I’ll be talking WITH you and that is more exciting to me. I’m starting off with one members-only event per month starting in March because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things because I’ll most likely be doing 2 events per month for Going Beyond the Lens.
Speaking of, I think by the time this comes out the event is already happening, I think? Oh I can’t look at my calendar because it’s on my phone and I’m recording on my phone! Oh I have a paper calendar too. Yeah so when this comes out it’s going to be on the 20th and the art share is on the 20th, so when this comes out you have a few hours left to sign up for the art share which is FREE! (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER) It’s going to happen at 1pm eastern time, so you have a little bit of time if you haven’t signed up yet, we would love to have you join us, whether or not you share your art with us. That’s through Going Beyond the Lens, I’ll put a link if you’d like more information (CLICK HERE FOR INFO), it’s the collective that I’m a cofounder of. What else? I think that’s all for this week. Change is scary but I’m excited and super thankful for you for being here with me through it. Yeah you mean so much to me and I’m so excited to have more opportunity to grow with you, so thank you. I love you! *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 69 image photoset taken by Mandy Darling in Olympia Washington during my cross country road trip summer 2019
click here to view the 8 videos of me taking you on a walk through the woods from spring 2020
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 38 image photoset of Lior Allay doubled with Bryce Canyon National Park during the Backstage Pass event for Going Beyond the Lens with Roarie Yum
click here to view 31 BTS photos/videos -
Members-only events!
YAYYYYY it’s official, I’m going to be hosting members-only events again starting in March!
I plan on one members-only event per month to start off with with the potential to include more in the future.
I want to do them a little differently than I did before by having a topic to focus on and expand on together. I also want to make sure I’m offering the events on days/times that the most people are available, so I’ve created a survey as an easy way for yall to let me know when works best for you and what topics you’re most interested in. I obviously can’t cater to everyone’s needs, but I will do my best.
To help make all of our members-only event dreams come true, please answer this quick 5 question survey below!
CLICK HERE FOR SURVEY (or fill out below)
-
Self Portraits in Utah – Among Goblins
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Welcome to the.. what is it? Third to last week of these weekly posts like this, whaaat? So this week I’m sharing another photoset from my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019 because I have to much to share from that. I’m not even going to be sharing them weekly like this. I have so many that they won’t fit into the last weeks of February so you’ll get most of them when I mass upload them in March. It’s going to be a lot, a whole lot.
So this week, are photos, I think it’s over 100 photos, self portraits that I took in Goblin Valley, very exciting, I really like them, I hope you do too. I have BTS videos for these photos also. First look is getting access to the self portrait photoset that I took at my friend Quinn Sanguine‘s house in Tacoma Washington, also during my cross country road trip in the summer of 2019. These I took in Quinn’s bedroom, they had a cool setup with lights on their wall, it was really cute and I really like the orange tone in their room, so I took advantage and took a bunch of self portraits while I was there. So that’s it for what’s new this week.
To recap the changes that will be happening soon. February is the last month I’ll be doing weekly posts like this. In March I will be mass-uploading everything from my backlog and first look galleries, which is a WHOLE lot, a whole whole lot. So I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be dropping that mass upload, but that will be coming in March hopefully. Also in March start doing at least once a month members-only video hangouts so we can be together live “in person” virtually. I’m starting off with once a month because I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many things all the time, which is another reason why I am not pressuring myself to do these weekly posts, not pressuring myself to create work constantly because as you know, if you’ve been here for any amount of time, I created like 4 or 5 photosets in the entirety of 2020. I know that my work, it’s not conducive to pressure and the requirement of “oh I have to do this thing right now” that just means I’m going to create something that doesn’t have intention and thought and real creativity behind it if I’m stressed about it and feeling like “oh I have to make something right now” then it’s just going to be something I made because I felt like I needed to. That doesn’t do justice to me as an artist and it doesn’t do justice to you as a member of my website enjoying my art, because if it’s something I feel like I have to do that I rush through then the quality of it is diminished and it’s just not as good. I’m committed to doing things in the timing that works for me, which is not going to necessarily be consistent. So yeah I hope that you also give yourself grace in that way if you’re able to if you’re a creator.
What else is new that I’m forgetting? By the time this comes out the EcoLove Playshop will have already happened, but you still have time to sign up for the Art Share for Going Beyond the Lens which is the 3rd Saturday of every month. I’m very excited to see your art. What else? Yeah so while I’m in this transitionary phase, I’m keeping things to a simplistic, minimalistic, sense thing… just to make sure that I’m not overwhelming myself, because I want to provide yall with quality content and quality time with me. Just because it’s not weekly like it has been in the past, I know that I’m going to be doing my best and still offering yall quality art and time with me. So yeah my archive will be available for all members and will be a lot bigger than it was, very soon in March. Like there’s SO MUCH in first look alone that it’s going to take a while to do the mass upload but I’m excited because yall are going to be in for a huge treat, with all this content. It is really scary to make changes like this and to make a leap of faith with myself and make changes in what I’m doing but I feel much more excited and… what’s the word? Maybe rejuvenated by the potential of what this could be. Right now at this point it feels like I’m talking AT you and just like “here have photos, here have videos” and while I super love all my photos and videos, it doesn’t feel like we’re connecting with each other. It feels like I’m providing content and you’re consuming it, and I would really like to start being in a community space with you instead of like “here you go!” Now it will be more like “lets hang out together and get to know each other and share our art or whatever” so yeah I’m excited for these changes even though it’s scary.
Okay uhm yeah if you have any questions comments concerns ideas whatever, comment on this post or email me or however you feel like contacting me, I would love to hear from you. I wonder if doing a 2-part content drop would be better than doing it all at once. I’ll think about it. Or you can let me know what you think! Ok I love you, thank you for being here, I appreciate that you are going on this journey of change and exploration and figuring shit out with me, it means a lot! I’m excited to go on this exploration with you and to get to know myself better and to get to know you better, and to have fun. I love you! Bye!
All members:
click here to view the 106 image self portrait photoset Among Goblins in Utah
click here to view the 13.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 50 image self portrait photoset I took at Quinn Sanguine‘s in Tacoma Washington -
Doubles with Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! Ok so I am excited because I feel better since I have more of a plan for what I want to do with my website. We are officially into February which means it’s our last month of the weekly things like this. I’m excited so here we go!
This week I’m sharing double exposures that I took of Eva Luna & KH from my cross country road trip in 2019 at that nude beach that I’ve already told yall about a couple of times because I’ve shared.. I think this is the last thing I have to share from that day with them. These are the double exposures that I took of them. The landscapes are from Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks from earlier in that same trip when I was in California. I think they’re super beautiful, I really love how they came out. There’s also behind the scenes video for this photoset, so yay!
And then first look folks, I’m sharing the double exposures… this is a whole double exposure week. I’m sharing the double exposures that I took of Dawn, also known as coconutdreamin in the past. They’re so dreamy. The doubles…. I think it was last week, I shared me posing for Dawn, and this week it’s Dawn posing for me for the doubles so it was in the same place. I have BTS of this as well. The doubles, the landscape part of the doubles is from Glacier National Park in Montana from my cross country road trip, and the photos of Dawn I took in my house in NC, in… I’m pretty sure it was November or December of 2019. Dawn cut their hair also recently, so this before Dawn cut their hair, but Dawn has short hair now also, pretty exciting. Yeah so I don’t want to make this super long because my plan is to make some of these videos early so that I can get ahead so I can plan more exciting things for yall, and also so that I can get a head start on the mass upload of everything once March rolls around, so excited for that.
If you’re new here and you haven’t seen the past blogs that I’ve done in the last month, I’m doing an overhaul of my website and February is the last month of these weekly posts like this. In March I’ll be mass uploading everything from my backlog and all the things from First Look will be available for everybody. I’m also I think going to make one membership tier and it’s just going to be sliding scale, that’s what I’m thinking about doing because I feel like, just makes the most sense, it’s the most simple, and it also means that everything is accessible to everybody and you pay what you’re able to pay. I’ll have more information on that soon, I’ll be rebuilding my membership page, rebuilding my whole website yay! Not really excited about that because also how do I brand?! So yeah that’s something I’m thinking about a lot is like, do I wanna do branding for my website? How do I do that? What do I want my colors to be? What do I want my fonts to be? What do I want to emphasize? So right now I’m really focusing on I think… you might be excited for this, because I think most people that come to my website are most intrigued by nude gatherings, which… I am excited to tell you… I don’t have any official plans yet but my plan is to make a plan for virtual nude gatherings! So yay! That’s really exciting to me. So yeah I want to focus on virtual hangout things, nude and non nude, like educational opportunities where I share the knowledge that I have and you also share the knowledge that you have because I’m not a guru that knows everything. I know a little bit about a lot of things so I want to share knowledge, not just dispense it. I want to.. what’s the word. I want to circulate it around, I want to facilitate the sharing of knowledge, not like “I hold all of it and you have to be a certain way in order for me to share it with you” no. So I’m excited about all of that, the potential for all of these changes is pretty exciting, while it’s also scary at the same time. You know, life changes are scary but also exciting.
So yeah…. I’m going to do a quick recap of my plans, even though I’ve kinda been doing a recap of my plans here already. Weekly posts will continue as they have been through February and then will be no more. I will hopefully in March mass upload all of my backlog and first look into the galleries for everyone. I’ll be redoing my website, restructuring my memberships. If you’re already a member this won’t affect you, because everything will stay the same for you basically, you’ll just be most likely having more access to more content because it’s in my backlog right now that you’ll be getting in March, hopefully. March is the plan. Starting hopefully in March I’ll be doing at least one monthly members-only video virtual hangout community gathering thing. I probably will have themes or topics for us to talk about. I would like to have some kind of structure around it but I don’t want to just be talking AT you the whole time, I want to have a conversation between us.
I will be, OH! I haven’t told yall this yet. Or… I might post about it before this comes out. On February 12th, it’s a Friday, I will be… what’s the word… a special guest maybe? I will be helping with a, they’re calling it a playshop, which is exciting. I’ll be a part of a playshop called EcoLove Playshop that is hosted by Lior Allay & Jenna Citrus. I’m very excited because it’s centered around loving ourselves and loving the earth and coming together as a community to do those things, so I’m really excited about that. I’ll put the link in the caption below so you can sign up. (SIGN UP HERE!) If you’re not a member of my website it’s $11 to register, but as a member, you get to join for free! So I’ll share with you the code to get in for free instead of having to pay for it, so yay, another perk to being a member, is events like that that are pay to register, you’ll get to register for free! (EDIT: You must be a member of mine, Lior’s, and Jenna’s sites to receive a free ticket.) I’m really excited, I think it’s going to be really beautiful. I’ve already sent Lior my two cents to share in the slideshow, and I’ll lead a short energy practice for us. I believe I’ll be at the beginning of the playshop, so I’m excited to do a little thing at the beginning and then experience it with you, yay.
What else? On the third Saturday of every month is going to be the Art Share through Going Beyond the Lens. That’s going to continually happen. Those are free, whether you’re a member or not those are free for everybody. I’m excited about that. If you have art you’d like to share with us, I’ll share the signup info below also! (REGISTER HERE!) There’s a recurring eventbrite for that through May I believe, is what we have it scheduled through, so far. The plan is to do it every month, we have the recurring event go through May for now. Yeah! I’m excited! I hope you are too.
It means a WHOLE lot that you’re here in the first place, at all. I really appreciate that you’re here through these changes and updates and… me trying to figure out what I’m doing. It means a lot, so thank you. Yeah… I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy these double exposures, I really love them and I hope you do too. *blows kiss*
All members:
click here to view the 36 image double exposure photoset of Eva Luna & KH with Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks
click here to view the 15.5 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 37 image double exposure photoset of Dawn Iler aka coconutdreamin with Glacier National Park
click here to view 16.5 minutes of BTS video -
Self Portraits in Utah – Enclosed
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, okay so this week I’m sharing a photoset with you that I took in Utah in the summer of 2019. This is a self portrait set that I took, this is also… I think recently, when did I do it, at the beginning of January I shared a photoset from the same place. This photoset is a little more closer up than that one was, and it’s more of me in this little private canyon that I had basically right behind my camping area which was incredible and wonderful and I super loved it and I spent a lot of time back there when I was staying there, which wasn’t very long, but most of the time I was there I was in this little canyon. I have several other photosets from the same place that I will be sharing in the future, but for now you have this photoset and the behind the scenes video to enjoy.
First look people I have some photos to share with you and BTS video of when I was posing for my friend Dawn Iler. You probably also know of her… actually… THEY. Dawn recently started using they/them pronouns so, excuse my error, they took photos of me back… I think it was the winter? November, December of 2019. They were visiting here on their way to… I think they were going to Texas. They live in NY State and they were traveling to Texas so they stopped by and stayed with me for a couple days on their way down there. We photographed each other which was wonderful. I don’t think I shared the photos I took of them with yall yet, but these are the photos they took of me. We took them in my living room, in like a makeshift “studio”. You’ll see what I mean when you see the video because it’s basically like, the black blanket that I keep on my bed, I’m looking around because it’s right here. Underneath my butt, I’m sitting on it. My big black blanket that I keep on my bed, it’s that blanket draped over the back of the couch, which is my “studio” in front of the big window in the living room so the light’s really nice. So these are the photos Dawn took of me.
For more information about my website: I have made some decisions, not 100% done with my decisions but I have decided to continue doing these weekly like I’ve been doing for years, doing these videos and talking to you and stuff, at least through mid-February. I’m considering if I want to do through the end of February just to keep even months. Then starting in most likely March I will… I don’t know when I’ll mass-upload all of the things, but I’m probably also going to be doing away with the first look membership because I’m just gonna take everything that’s in first look, everything that’s in my backlog, and put them all available for everybody. Yeah this feels kinda scary. So I’m pretty sure that I’ll be doing that maybe early to mid March, in terms of my mass upload of my backlog. That’s going to take some time to do because it’s a lot of things. So I think I will do these weekly posts like I have been through the end of February. I have stuff planned through Feb 13th so I have a couple weeks left to plan, and then after that I’ll sometime in March do a mass upload of everything and update the directories and stuff. And then after that I will… probably not do weekly updates, because I’ll have already shared all of my backlog with you. Right now my thinking is I will do the weekly updates through the end of February. Sometime in March, depending on how long it takes me to get it done, mass upload everything from first look and my backlog so that everyone has access to all the things. Then I will not pressure myself to create things on a weekly basis because I have done that in the past and it… basically like the quality of my work is lower if I feel like “oh I have to do this. Oh it’s Friday and I want to have something for Saturday so let me just shoot something.” That to me that is not the kind of creative artistic process that brings me the ability to do good work. It’s more stressful and “oh let me do something so I have something for them” but that doesn’t feel good. So… I will create if I feel like it. Which, as you know, hasn’t been very much at all in the last like year and a half. But I literally have SO MUCH that you haven’t seen yet so it’ll be quite a while before you’ll be like “I want new things!” I’m not going to pressure myself to… sorry I’m picking a little scab that I have on my arm but it’s really annoying and I shouldn’t be doing it but… I did. So yeah this is pretty stressful and scary for me but I feel like I’m giving myself freedom by doing this. In 2020 I took like 4 or 5 photosets the whole year. So I don’t have an expectation of myself to create constantly, and I don’t want yall to have an expectation of new things from me constantly.
What I will do instead of sharing new photosets and stuff with you, I’ll be offering more online live video gathering type things when where we can hang out “in person” virtually, which I’m must more excited about than thinking about having to create more photosets. I don’t know the frequency of that yet, I’m probably going to start off with once a month to make sure that I don’t overdo myself because I’m already doing events through Going Beyond the Lens also. So basically members will have access to my archive, will be invited to members-only virtual hangouts, and I want to do more with, maybe more education kind of things, or “let’s learn things together” like I’ll tell you the kinds of things that I’m learning and you can share your personal experience with those things. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts and feelings about queerness, ecosexuality, non monogamy, gender, those kinds of things. So I’d really love to explore those more in depth. My tattoo is so itchy yall! I got my arm done recently and it’s just so itchy, it’s in the itchy stage and I’m trying really hard to not fuck with it.
So yeah, the plan is, to recap: things will continue as normal through February, and then starting in March, at some point in March, depending on how much time it takes me to do it, I will mass upload everything that’s in the backlog and in first look. This is pretty scary to think about, and then starting in March I’ll do monthly live virtual hangouts. I’ll probably have a topic for us to focus on so it’s not just like, sitting around just talking about random things. I feel better when there’s a focus, instead of just like “how was your day?” I fucking hate small talk yall, I hate it. I want to have a focus so that we can like… I feel like we’re learning together. So starting in March we’ll have virtual hangouts and uhm I’m going to try to make more free things. I don’t want to keep all of the cool and interesting things behind a paywall, so basically memberships are for people who want to help me continue to make free things for everyone, and also to have access to my archive because that’s a WHOLE LOT of photos and videos and just content in general. So that’s where I’m at right now. I’ll have it fleshed out with better plans in the future. I’m also planning on overhauling my website and making everything different than what it is currently. So also keep an eye out for that, I might do that March-ish? Maybe starting some of it in February? I don’t have a complete schedule for that yet because I’m still figuring out how I want my website to be set up.
But yeah… it’s pretty scary for me because it’s a big change. I’ve been doing basically the same thing for my website since like 2016 or 2017 so making a big change like this is scary and I’m just going to take the leap because I think I will truly be happier honestly, and less stressed, if I do it this way. I hope you’ll be along for the ride with me. I understand if you signed up for one thing and it’s changing and you no longer want to be here which I understand, no hard feelings. If you want to help support me, pay my bills, help me share queer info with other people for free, it would mean a whole lot. A whole whole lot. It already means a lot that you’re here already. Also I’m probably going to redo my art wall in my room at some point because I’m kinda tired of looking at white naked bodies all the time. Like there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not bad, I super love naked bodies. I don’t want my work to focus on like.. nude photography. To me, nude photography is super amazing and a big part of my life, but I don’t see it being quite as big of a part of my life in the future, because I want to expand into more purpose and intention and I think that by changing the way that I’m doing things will help me to create that intention and purpose. This is a super long video! Appreciate you watching and listening or reading or whatever you’re doing. Yeah I’m excited and nervous about what is coming. If you have any ideas, questions, concerns, comments, I would love to hear them, please reach out. Comment on this post or email me or whatever way you wanna contact me. Yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts. Ok. I’m done. I love you. Goodbye.
All members:
click here to view the 52 image self portrait photoset in Utah during my cross country road trip in summer 2019
click here to view the 5.5 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 40 image film photoset of me taken by Dawn Iler (aka coconutdreamin)
click here to view 20+ minutes of BTS video -
Sept 2019 Road Trip with Lior Allay + getting closer to big changes for bunnyluna.com
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends! Welcome to another week of… wildness I guess. Today is the 20th, I’m doing this a little early because tomorrow I’m getting more tattoo done and Thursday is usually my day to prep these, so I’m doing it Wednesday since Thursday I’m getting tattooed.
This week I’m sharing a photoset that I created with Lior Allay in New York State when we were there in the fall of 2019. I have the photoset that I took of Lior with their camera, it was just a collaborative fun like… we woke up in the morning and went out to this field and just.. did our thing. I’m also sharing a bunch of photos and videos from that trip, so it’s a bunch of random things from that trip. Some of it is in the same place as the photos that we took and some of it was just from our travels, so enjoy this variety scramble of content from me.
First look members I’m sharing the photos and videos from the other people who were taking photos and videos during the nude gathering here at my house last… not even last year, in 2019 in the fall. They are photos that were taken by an anonymous person who was a participant and photographer there, and also photos that were taken by Nova Amour who is a model and also a photographer, her photography name is Foremost Imagery. I have their stuff to share with you for first look.
I have plans for what I’m going to share with you through mid-February, I may or may not go with the plan that I have right now which is to just continue doing what I’ve been doing. I’m really considering dropping all of my backlog at once into the galleries so that yall can enjoy that and so that I can maybe take a break for a month or two in the weekly things… so that I can recalibrate and figure out what I want to do to change my website. That option is kinda scary to me at the moment because I know a lot of you really like having consistent weekly updates, and I’ve been… I think it’s been since 2014, or 2015 or maybe 2016… so it’s been like 5 years of me posting every week on whatever my site is because it used to be Patreon and now it’s my website. I’ve been consistently posting every week for like 5 years and if I do this shift, then that means it’ll be the first time in 5 years that I’ll change what I’m doing in a really major way, and that’s scary but also kindof exciting. I continue to notice that I’m not really excited to do computer work things, well I’m never really excited to do computer work things because I get really drained by looking at screens. I always much prefer the act and the experience of creating than like the, organization, categorization, posting, sharing part of art. I much prefer the act of doing it than any of the stuff afterwards. Like the photos are a really great… memory to share and a really great physical or digital representation of the time that I had either with my self or with other people when I was creating. All of the stuff that I do after the actual creation part is my least favorite part, to be honest. It’s a part of it, because if you take photos, it’s probably smart to have them organized on your computer so you know where to find them, but all of the after-creation stuff isn’t my favorite and it’s actually the creation part that I enjoy doing. So I feel like maybe I’ll… take a month or two or three off from consistent posting on here and kindof recalibrate and figure out… what do I want to create now? What am I excited about creating? How can I do it in a way that doesn’t burn me out? How can I do it in a way that benefits the people that are coming here? And also… do it in a way that it’s something that I really enjoy doing. So… yeah I’m still feeling that out, I haven’t made a solid decision yet, but I’m getting closer to deciding, and I’m really leaning towards taking a month or two or three off. Even though that’s scary because I’m afraid of losing support, I feel like if I’m able to be fully embracing of the things that I need and want, and the things that I really want to put out in the world, which is kindof different than what it has been in the past. I really feel like, if I’m being myself and being authentic and honest then the right people will show up for me, and the people who were only here for the things that aren’t as exciting to me will fall away and that’s okay. Like, I have no hard feelings if you’re only here to see nude stuff every week, I understand if you no longer want to do that, because that’s what you’re here for and if I’m not going to be doing that then it makes sense. That being said, I probably will never completely stop doing nude things because nudity is a major part of my life. Yeah I just.. I told you before, I’ve taken, I’ve done… like 3 or 4 shoots in the entirety of 2020. I just haven’t… I haven’t been feeling creative, I haven’t felt motivation or inspiration to create something of my own in a while. I’m kindof much more interested now in celebrating queerness and non monogamy, asexuality, ecosexuality, transness… meditation, healing, energy, all of those kinds of things are what I’d like to share about, which is kindof different but also kindof the same as what I’ve been doing for a long time. The road that I’ve been traveling has mostly been the same, I’m just taking a different way than I used to, if that makes sense.
So yeah I’ll give you a head’s up once I fully decide, hopefully I’ll fully decide soon. I do have a plan for weekly posts through February 13th that’s already planned and ready to go. So maybe that’ll be my last post like this? Then maybe after that I’ll mass upload all of the backlog that I have? So I don’t know, that’s kindof what I’m feeling like, so get ready. If you’re here for the nudes, they’ll still be available. I’m kindof feeling like maybe in the future if I’m changing things after I take a break, when I come back I’ll probably still have my archive and gallery still available, but it won’t be a primary thing that I’m adding to consistently. I want to focus more on community like I mentioned last week, and having online experiences where we can be together “in person” virtually. So I think that would be my focus, is more community and more… free resource kindof things, let’s explore stuff and learn things together kindof…. things. Still figuring it out, but yeah this is your head’s up. Most likely will continue the regular posting posting through mid-February and then after that things will probably change and be different.
I’ll post an official announcement whenever I officially decide what I’m doing, which I’m still figuring that out, but you have at least an idea now of what direction I’m going so that you can decide what works best for you. I would super incredibly much appreciate your continued support, because you’re the reason that I can pay rent, and also it’s really wonderful to know that there are people here who support me even though I’m shifting and changing. And ALSO if it’s best for you to no longer support me, I totally understand and there are no hard feelings. I would just very appreciate if you stay, because I know that even if I do take a break, which I’m very leaning towards, yes I’m going to take a break for 1-3 months, but if I do take a break I’m excited to see what that opens up for me, and see what I’m drawn to creating during that, if anything, and lean further into community and learning, education, resource stuff. So yeah that’s where I’m at! Okay I think that’s all I have to say today. Yeah I’ll give you more precise information when I have it when I’ve figured that out for myself. I think I’m just scared of change because it is scary and I don’t know what will happen. I love you, thank you for being here, you mean so much to me! Yeah I love you, I hope you have a good day, and I’ll talk to you soon, bye! <3
All members:
click here to view the 7 image slide film photoset of Lior Allay
click here to view the 148 BTS photos/videos from our trip
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 42 image photoset taken by Anonymous during the nude gathering I facilitated at my home here in Charlotte (with Leopold model, Canischromatis, Nova Amour, & anonymous)
click here to view the 26 image photoset taken by Nova Amour aka Foremost Imagery
click here to view 42.5 minutes of BTS video -
KH photographs Eva Luna & me at a nude beach
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! This week I’m sharing a photoset that was taken by KH of me & Eva Luna when we were all in Portland in the summer of 2019. I also have BTS video and BTS pictures to share with you, so all of that is now in the galleries. This is the same place as the photoset I shared with you of them recently, the nude beach, which is awesome. I highly recommend going to nude beaches as much as possible for anyone, because they’re fun and also I love to be naked outside. It feels really safe to be at a place where they expect you to be nude. So that’s my favorite thing, is being in places where I don’t have to sneak around and be nude and I can just do it because it’s a normal thing. Hence probably why I’m at home a lot because I can be nude in my back yard with no negative repercussions or whatever.
First look people… I’m sharing the photos I took, and I think I have video too, from when I had the last nude gathering that I was able to have before covid hit. This was in.. I think it was August or September of 2019. I didn’t know that this was going to be my last nude gathering, but this one I did at my house, here, in the living room, that way. We had people over and we took a bunch of pictures and these are the things that I created, but I also have photosets to share with you in the future that were taken by the participants. Two… yeah two or three of the people that participated also took some pictures, so I’ll share those with yall at a later week. But yeah so… I hope you enjoy them. You probably, I mean you most likely have already seen *points behind me* this picture, because I love it and it’s all over the place and I’ve posted it in a lot of places and I have a big print of it in my house next to my bed in my room *points behind me*, that’s from the nude gathering here in the summer of 2019. Yeah so… more from where that came from for first look.
I don’t want to make this too long because I have other things I’d like to do today, but I also realize that I kindof haven’t been putting a lot of effort into these weekly posts as of… recently. Probably because I feel like I’m kindof just like… following the template that I created months ago and it’s not really fun and exciting. There isn’t really much of a purpose behind it other than like “here I’m sharing photos with you. Here I’m sharing videos with you.” I think that’s part of why I want to make changes to my website overall because it’s not um…. there’s nothing wrong with paying me money so you can see nude photos, but it doesn’t really feel very fulfilling to me anymore, and also I’m barely creating any nude work anymore. While nude work will probably be in my future forever at some point, it probably will not be as frequent as it was in the past and I want to focus on other things like building community and actually spending time live with people, doing online events. Which I’ve started doing some of those with Going Beyond the Lens. I want to do some more that are just me and whoever wants to join, through my website and also do free ones for people. I’m still figuring out what all that means and how I want to incorporate memberships and what do I want to do for free, what do I want to have behind a paywall…. because I do have bills that I have to pay and I can’t do everything for free. I also really want to have my content, whatever it ends up being, I want it to be accessible to people, and money is definitely a barrier for a lot of people, so I want to find a good balance where I can still live and sustain myself but I’m also able to offer a lot of free or discounted things for people. So yeah I’m still figuring out what I want to do, I’ve been talking about this for months. I think I’m getting a little closer to figuring out what I want to do. I do have a backlog still, there’s still probably still at least maybe 2 or 3, maybe more months of content that I haven’t shared with yall that are still in my backlog that I could continue sharing on a weekly basis. I’m also kinda considering taking all of it and dumping all of it into the galleries and being like “here it is, enjoy” and maybe making some kind of different, like I don’t know, memes, or some kind of different video, not just a vlog but “this is something I’ve learned and maybe you’d like to know about it too” or “here’s a day in the life” or… I don’t know, what do yall wanna see from me?
I’m thinking of maybe doing something along the lines of a weekly video or a monthly online hangout focused on some kind of topic that we can discuss, or like “lets meditate together, let’s do some energy together, let’s move our bodies together”. Also I know the nude gatherings have been something that people have been really drawn to, even though I’ve basically cancelled all of them for the foreseeable future because of covid, but I’m considering maybe doing them online in some fashion? So that might be something that I offer for members? I’m not sure, because I feel like, currently, the way I have my website set up, it’s mostly like cishet dudes that are here to see me naked, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just not really like, what I want anymore. I’m hoping to make a… build a community, build a space for community for queer folks and trans folks and people who are questioning and people who want to connect to themselves more, people who maybe want to learn some coping skills for like, how to not be depressed all the time. I mean, I might not be the best person to talk about this because I’m definitely depressed. I think part of it is my feeling like I don’t have a purpose. Part of it is probably also feeling like I’ve already met a lot of goals that I used to have and I don’t know what goals I want to have for the future, so I feel like that’s part of my purposelessness feeling? These are just some thoughts, I’m rambling now, but giving you kindof an idea of the things I’m thinking about in terms of changing my website. I want to do a complete overhaul, like I want to redo my whole website, like change the banner, change the menu, change the things I have available for you to look at on my website, change what I’m offering, change the types of things that I’m selling, change the way that I interact on here, because right now it’s just like “pay me money, see my nudes” and I want more than that. I want community, I want queer people, I want a space for me to learn and grow and yall learn and grow with me. I want to not be seen as the expert, I want to be seen as someone who’s on a journey with you, of exploration and curiosity. I don’t want to be like “the boss” or the leader all the time, maybe I can facilitate the space, but I’m not the only person who has interesting things to say. I’m not the only person who has ideas of ways that the world could be better. I’m sure all of you have ideas also and have important interesting things to say. So I’m… maybe getting closer to figuring things out, but I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and that’s okay. You gotta be in a place of not knowing before you can be in a place of knowing, right? Yeah okay this has been almost 11 minutes now and I think I’ve said everything. I love you, thank you for being here and I’ll talk to you next week!
All members:
click here to view the 144 image photoset of me & Eva Luna taken by KH at a nude beach
click here to view the 66 BTS photos I took that day
click here to view the 16 minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 56 image digital photoset I took during the nude gathering I facilitated at my home here in Charlotte (with Leopold model, Canischromatis, Nova Amour, & 2 anonymous models)
click here to view the 37 image double exposure photoset
click here to view 45 minutes of BTS video -
Self portraits in Utah – Between
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hey friends, I have been having a rough week and I assume many of you probably have been too with all of the bullshit that’s going on in the world right now, so I’m going to try to keep this short.
This week I’m sharing a self portrait set that I took in Utah summer of 2019. I still have a lot of self portrait sets from that trip to share with you so continue to look for that in the future, I have a lot still. This photoset I took, it was actually basically behind where my camping space was. I had a campsite and behind it was this little mini canyon that was totally private to my campsite, so that was incredible and of course I took advantage of that and took a bunch of self portraits back in that little canyon, so this is one of the self portraits sets from that. I’m also sharing behind the scenes video from this self portrait set.
First look people, I’m sharing some photos that were taken with Tiffany Helms and her partner Jeff Waters. We went to this abandoned place on Bainbridge Island and it was very cool and took some photos there and it was super fun, so that’s going to First Look this week. I think there’s photos and videos.
Uhm.. anybody that’s new, if you haven’t been here very long on my website. If you scroll back to past vlogs, like every Saturday I come out with this. If you scroll back to past ones you’ll see that I have been working towards shifting to something different with my website, and I’m still figuring out exactly what that is but I feel like I’m getting closer. I know I want to focus more on community building and live online virtual hangout type things, and have less of a focus on photography, so yeah still figuring that out. I am open to any requests, questions, comments, things like that, so if you have something to say in regards to that please comment, I would love to hear it.
Yeah, I’m gonna keep this short and sweet, I hope you enjoy these photos, I love you so much, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you next week.
All members:
click here to view the 37 image self portrait photoset in Utah
click here to view the 2.5 minute BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 11 image photoset of me (+ some with Tiffany Helms) taken by Jeff Waters
click here to view 18.5 minutes of BTS video -
Eva Luna & KH
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends! I am doing this video a week in advance and prepping this week’s content a week in advance also because when this will be happening, when I usually would have been recording this and sharing it I will be in Durham with Lior and Roarie for Going Beyond the Lens. I wanted to do this early so that I could really focus on being present with Lior and Roarie while we’re in person together in Durham. I’m so excited. By the time this video comes out the event will already have happened, but if you missed it and didn’t get to sign up for the Backstage Pass event, I’m going to link below to all the information about it, because if you missed it, I’m not sure how, but just in case I’m going to put the link below. (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) If you missed the event, because this is going to be coming out on January 2nd and the event is December 30th. If you missed the event and you didn’t sign up and you’re like “oh nooo I really wanted to watch yall create together and I really wanted to see what questions you answered and I wanted to be a part of that and I totally forgot!” or whatever, you can donate $11 or more to me or Lior or Roarie or I can link our bigcartel shop below which is where you can donate, there’s a lot of different amounts you can donate, but if you donate $11 or more we will send you the recording! (CLICK HERE TO DONATE) So if you missed it and you’re kicking yourself for it, email me or something and I can get you set up. So yeah $11 or more and you can get the recording, yay!
Okay now back to website things. This week I’m sharing a photoset that I took in the summer of 2019 with Eva Luna and KH and this was outside of Portland Oregon. We went to a nude beach, which was amazing and probably my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland. There’s a lot of places I went and I can’t say that I had one particular favorite over the whole trip, actually maybe I can I have a couple of favorites, but… In terms of my time in Portland, my favorite place that I went when I was in Portland was this nude beach. I just love being places where it’s expected for you to be naked, who would have known haha. Places where it’s okay to be naked out in nature to me are super important and super my kind of places so yeah this was a very fun shoot. I met up with Eva and KH and we drove together to this nude beach and we hung out for a few hours and took a bunch of pictures and it was super fun. I did have an upsetting thing happen while we were there. So earlier in my road trip when I was in Joshua Tree I posed for Moss Von Faustenberg and he took several polaroids and he gave me 3 or 4 of them which I was super excited about because I love having tangible things and also the photos were really amazing. So these polaroids I had in my camera bag and when we were shooting we didn’t want to lug all of our stuff all around the beach the whole time, so we found a nice spot just in the woods right off of the beach. There was this little clearing and we put all our stuff there and kept an eye on it as much as we could. We didn’t keep an eye on our stuff well enough because someone went through our stuff and I…. guess, I don’t know, they must not have cared much about stealing cameras or phones or credit cards. They just moved our stuff around and the only thing they stole from me, they stole those polaroids, and I was very sad. But I was also very thankful that it wasn’t like my whole camera bag or my phone or keys or credit card or ID or all the things, I could have been so screwed. All they stole was… I had this tin, it was like a tin that chocolate came in from Switzerland, it was like swiss chocolate, used to be swiss chocolate, it was a tin that had swiss chocolate in it, it was the perfect size to keep polaroids in. I had the polaroids in it and this like crinkley rainbowey holographicy shiny clearish paper plasticky stuff that was really fun to put in front of the lens to get cool light and color and stuff. That film paper stuff and the polaroids were in that tin and that tin is the only thing that got stolen. I guess they really liked the nude polaroids and didn’t care about my camera and credit card? I’m very thankful that that’s all they stole but also I’m really sad because the only evidence I have of those polaroids is a really short video that I took of the polaroids. If you’re in the first look tier, the Nov 28th post that I did when I shared the like fuck ton of stuff that I was a part of in Joshua Tree, you can see that really short video that includes the polaroids in it, in that content. So that’s the only evidence of those polaroids that I have. I was supposed to have the physical polaroids that I was bringing home, but they didn’t make it. Somebody stole them when I was in Portland. I was really sad about that, but I was also very thankful that it wasn’t anything more crucial that they stole from me because I could have been really screwed. Those photos, these are the single exposures that I took of Eva and KH and also I’m sharing the BTS video from that shoot. I think they’re amazing photos I’m so excited.
For First look this week I’m sharing a self portrait photoset that I took with my mom and some behind the scenes video from that. The self portraits that I took with my mom we took them in this room, my bedroom. This was before I moved in here again so this room was empty and we took advantage of that space. I’m gonna turn this… just took photos in front of my curtain. Uh yeah so self portraits with my mom in here when there was nothing here and yay.
That’s my story for this week. I love you! Thank you so much for being here! It is because of you that I’m able to do any of this and that means the world to me that you enjoy my content and you care what I have to say in some capacity, that you support me in this adventure that is my self employment as an artist, even when I barely create anything anymore. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there are major changes coming to my website soon, I don’t exactly know what that is yet but I know more and more that that is coming up. Head’s up, things are changing, I don’t know what or when but it’s gonna happen at some point because I’m not totally happy with the way things are done on my website right now. Like, I have a system in place that works but it’s not as fulfilling and exciting and fun as I would like it to be, so I want to shift things around and I don’t know exactly what that is yet. You’ll know when I know.
I love you so much! Thank you for being here, it means so much to me and literally means that I can pay my bills so that means a lot, in this capitalist bullshit existence. Well the existence isn’t bullshit, it’s the capitalist stuff that’s bullshit but you know, I’m trying to live outside of capitalism in any way that I can, which is very hard, but we’re doing what we can here. I love you. *blows kiss* bye!
All members:
click here to view the 36 image photoset of Eva Luna & KH at a nude beach in Oregon summer 2019
click here to view the 30.5+ minutes of BTS video
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 41 image self portrait photoset with Mommy at home soon before I moved back in (2019)
click here to view 21.5 minutes of BTS video -
Waterfall Introspection
CAPTION FOR THE VIDEO ABOVE:
Hi friends, welcome to another week of… my website. So this week I have a self portrait set that I took in 2018 on that first solo road trip that I went on, I talked about it… 2 weeks ago in the other waterfall self portrait set that I shared. I visited a whole bunch of waterfalls on this trip, it was like a long weekend, so this is a different waterfall and somehow after I took the photos and uploaded them to my smugmug, I forgot about this whole trip of self portraits that I took, somehow? So that’s why I’m sharing them now because I like somehow lost them / forgot about them after I took them and just never shared them. These photos I took I don’t even remember the name of the place that I was hiking. I probably could find it if I saw a map and looked back through some stuff. I hiked, this was in the mountains because that’s like my favorite place to be, I was hiking in the mountains near some waterfalls and I came upon this area that was a whole bunch of bare rock next to the river that had a little waterfall on it further up the river. I just hung out there for a long time and nobody really showed up for a long time so I was like “okay I feel safe being naked here” so I took some self portraits and then I got dressed and I think I was pulling oracle cards and journaling, and then a small family, like 2 or 3 person little group of adult and little children came by, and so I was like “okay so that’s perfect that I wasn’t naked when they showed up” because usually its people with kids that get annoyed or angry when people don’t have clothes on. So yeah that’s the photoset I’m sharing this week.
I have a video that has nothing to do with this photoset that I’m also sharing. This video I took.. I believe it was 2019, I’m not sure if it was before or after my cross country trip (EDIT: it was after). This was me when I lived at my sister’s house, hanging out in the living room in my sister’s house and listening to music and like, dancing and moving around and playing with the kittens… I call them shittens. Playing with shittens back when the cats that my sister has were actually kittens. They were so friggin cute. So this video is me just playing and dancing around and moving my body and playing with little kittens, so me and shittens, and dancing kindof, yoga ish, movement video.
First look people, I’m sharing more photos from Columbus Ohio. These are photos that Jacs Fishburne took of me and Lior Allay when we were traveling there, so these are I believe… all of the photos I am sharing with me and Lior and Jacs, which there are 3 photosets. I shared one of them last week, that was Lior’s photos of me and Jacs, this week it’s Jacs photos of me and Lior, and then next week I’ll be sharing… no I already shared those. The ones of Lior and Jacs that I took were the week before that. Next week I’ll be sharing something different. But yeah, so these are all from the same day and it was very fun. So first look is getting the photos and BTS videos of Jacs photographing me and Lior.
Speaking of Lior… if you didn’t already see it, I am going to be in Durham at the end of the month and I just got tested, I am negative, I got my result yesterday, covid negative, yay! I’m meeting up in person with Lior and Roarie and we are going to be brainstorming and dreaming up the future possibilities for Going Beyond the Lens and we are offering an event while we’re all together. We’re calling it Backstage Pass because you get a backstage pass to our shoot, we’re going to create together, the 3 of us, and the first half of the backstage pass event is gonna be the 3 of us answering all of your questions about shooting and how to communicate with the people you’re creating with, how to make sure everybody feels safe, how to make sure there’s consent, how to bounce ideas off of each other, all of these things, so I’m really excited because I have created with both of them, Lior and Roarie, but they have actually never met each other in person so this is going to be the first time that they’re creating together period, and this is the first time that we’re going to be all 3 creating together. I’m very excited because they’re both amazing people and they know each other now through all of the things we’ve been doing together, I just think that like, when you only know someone through the internet it’s different than when you actually get to meet them in person, so I’m very excited that we’re all going to be in person together and yeah I think I’m just super excited in general to be in person with them because it’s been a long time. We’re all getting tested, all self quarantining, being extra careful so that we make sure we’re not going to accidentally spread covid. Like I said I just got my covid test result back yesterday and I am covid negative, and I’m going to continue to like not leave my house until I go there basically. So yeah I’m excited.
Yeah I think that’s all I have to say today. Come and join us to be a part of the Backstage Pass event. I’ll put a link in the caption below. (CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!) This is a fundraising event for Going Beyond the Lens because we would really like to maybe create a website or some kind of community forum or something. We need to change the way we’re doing things online a little bit, because right now we have stuff in a google drive and it’s almost full already. We need to make some plans in terms of infrastructure, and so we are fundraising through this event. Tickets are $11 and we also have an option if you’d like to donate an additional amount of money that is available also, which is also super really appreciated. We have a lot of really exciting dreams and plans for what we would really love to do with Going Beyond the Lens so we’re hoping that this event will help get us a little bit of the money that we need in order to make some of these exciting plans and updates and changes so that we can better serve the GBTL community. So if you’d like to watch us create together live, please join us, I’ll put the link below (CLICK HERE!!!!) It’s only $11, this is a once in a lifetime thing, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do this again for a while. I don’t want to say once in a lifetime because I assume we’ll be able to do something like this again at some point, but I have no idea when something like this will happen again. Also if you can’t make it, the event is on December 30th, it’s a Wednesday I believe, and it’s from 10am-1pm eastern time. If you cannot make it, every single person who signs up will be getting a recording of the whole event so if you can’t make it there’s no worries because you can watch it whenever. Yeah I’m just really excited, its going to be really fun, and it’ll basically be the first time I’ve created in months.
Okay, I love you, thank you for being here, and I’ll talk to you soon! Mwah!
All members:
click here to view the 54 image self portrait photoset of me at an NC waterfall in 2018
click here to view the 5 minute video of me playing with kittens & moving my body
Click here for access to my archive of 12,500+ photos & 2,000+ videos
Click here for the passwords, they change the 1st of every monthFirst Look/All Access members:
click here to view the 42 image photoset of me & Lior Allay taken by Jacs Fishburne in Columbus OH fall 2019
click here to view 13 minutes of BTS video