CAPTION FOR VIDEO ABOVE:

Hey friends! So this week I’m releasing two small photosets, I took them on the same roll of film, they’re all double exposures. All of the background images are from a waterfall here in NC, and the photos of the models, I took all of those outside of Portland Oregon last summer. I have photos of Ravyn Alexa and Ambivalent Ann that are doubles and I super love them. I didn’t realize how… I totally forgot when I loaded the film, how many exposures were on the roll, and I thought I had shot half of the roll of Ravyn so I’d have the other half of the roll for Ambivalent Ann… but it was not a 36 exposure roll, it was a 24 exposure roll, I thought it was 36, so there’s more photos of Ravyn than there are of Ambivalent Ann. I wish I had gotten more of her but, it is what it is.

So this week, what’s going on with me… I, yesterday, which was Wednesday, today is Thursday, I pretty much always get these videos and stuff ready on Thursdays for the Saturday post. Wednesday, which was the 29th, a really massive account on instagram (@girlgaze) posted one of my menstruation memes, and it’s about menstruation and gender. Girlgaze has over 300k followers, so a whole bunch of people saw this, and I’m super excited about it because it’s a really great opportunity because more people are seeing my work which I think is amazing because I want to share the love. But also, it kinda brought out a lot of nasty comments from people, a lot of transphobic comments and period shaming comments so that was disappointing. But with an account that large I can’t expect everyone to be super positive about a post about menstruation and gender. I did for a little bit interact with people in the comments of that post yesterday, but it didn’t take very long before I was feeling really activated and didn’t have the emotional capacity to handle the comments anymore, so I’ve disengaged from that. I mean there are a lot of great comments on there about people appreciating the post and stuff, but I just don’t want to argue about my humanity and worthiness of my gender expression with people who are super transphobic and don’t give a fuck about me or my feelings or my identity or anything and they’re very stuck in their binary thinking of male and female, which… fuck all that. So that was an interesting thing yesterday!

I’ve been spending a lot of my time in the woods this week. I’ve been going to the woods back there. There’s a decent amount of woods between the back part of my neighborhood and the main road that’s over there. So it’s neighborhood, woods, a few houses, and the main road. So I’ve just been spending a bunch of time in the woods and immersing myself in the solitude of nature which is really nice and healing for me. It feels really good to just be in nature. I’m thinking a lot about ancestors and connection and where do we go from here and how I want to connect with myself more and how I want to connect with the Earth more, and how connecting to the Earth is inherently like connecting with other people because we’re all a part of the Earth, so if I can connect with myself and connect with the Earth then I can connect with other people as well in a way, energetically. I just tune in to my feelings and my love for nature and that feels really good, and that also extends to my love for everyone else and all living beings. So that’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and enjoying the connection part. Being alone, but never actually being alone.

I’m excited about, well, once this is posted it’ll technically be yesterday, but I’m excited for the 1st, because all of the photo members get to have video access now, and I’m excited to simplify my website a little more. Anybody that’s a photo member gets upgraded for free which is exciting, it’s my little present to you. I know I have more changes coming, I don’t know what that is, and that’s okay, I’m living into that liminal space of not knowing and I’m feeling more comfortable with figuring it out, not knowing, being okay with it, living my life, doing what feels best. I really want to cater myself and my work more toward ecosexuality and gender and sexuality spectrum, because I really feel like that’s kinda where my whole life is heading toward, and I think it’s really important stuff for everyone to talk about and consider. I want to be an advocate for ecosexuality and the gender and sexuality spectrum. I want to maybe.. I don’t know if I’ll post less nude content but, I want to be accessible to people, but at the same time I don’t want to censor myself just to be accessible to more people, because if they’re MY people, then they’re going to be cool with nudity, to be honest. I don’t think that there’s going to be a time in my life that I’m going to be pulling away from nudity. I want to find a way to really emphasize that nudity isn’t sexual, and have less cishetero dudes following me just because I’m a nude person on the internet with boobs and a vulva, and have more people follow me that are like ME, who aren’t adhering to gender and sexuality “norms” whatever the fuck that is.

*Looking overhead* I’m sorry I just got super distracted, there are hummingbirds! I heard them and I saw them! OMG they’re so cute! Such tiny little babies! Do you know what a hummingbird sounds like? They’re little chirps, it’s so cute. I must have scared them away with my talking, but I totally saw at least 2 hummingbirds, they were so cute, and I heard them a couple times, they were flying around between the trees here. What a great way to end this video!

Thank you for being here with me, I appreciate you so much! I’m totally open to any comments or questions or suggestions that you have. I want to be here for yall and create the kind of content that you’re interested in, while also staying true to myself and my wants and needs. I want to find that middle ground for all of us, whatever that is. I think anybody that is here purely for sexual reasons has probably weeded themselves out by now based on the stuff I’ve been posting, but I mean if you’re here just for sexual gratification by looking at naked people that’s fine, as long as you don’t bring me into that, or bring the models into that, keep it to yourself unless someone is asking you to bring your sexual desire to them, then just… don’t. Becuase that’s to me, the main thing that makes me hesitate with nudity is people nonconsensually forcing me to be a part of their sexualization of me, which I really don’t appreciate. I’m sure most of you probably don’t either, but that’s just an experience I have from being a naked person on the internet. It’s weird, I don’t really know how I got to this, but yeah I’m not here for sexual things. I mean, I am, but I’m not. It’s weird, because I’m demisexual and ecosexual, so I’m extremely picky about who I would even consider doing anything sexual with or having really intimate sexual conversations with, but in terms of broad general educational stuff about sexuality, I’m totally up for. But once it becomes an individual sexual thing, then I’m not up for it at all. So if you ever had any question about that, there’s my answer. I’m up for general questions that aren’t specific to me for the most part, or your own sexual things that involve me, I don’t want to be a part of that, but if you have general questions about like “what does this term mean?” or “how does your sexuality inform your decisions for your art?” or stuff like that, I’m totally cool with talking about that. As soon as it’s in the direction of objectifying me or bringing me into your sexuality without my consent, that’s where I draw the line. Not cool. Not for me. No thanks.

This video has gotten so long, I got distracted by hummingbirds, but that’s just my ecosexual heart expanding even more, and that’s nature showing me that it loves me back. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you being a part of this wild journey that is my life and my website. I appreciate all of you so much. I am able to pay rent because of you, I’m able to put food on my table because of you, I am able to continue creating because of you so I super appreciate it and you are an integral part of my life, my creative life, my educational learning and helping and sharing of information. I appreciate you! You mean a lot to me and I love hearing from you! I hope you have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you next week!

Ravyn Alexa

Ambivalent Ann

Video members:
click here to view the full photoset of Ravyn Alexa & click here to view the fill photoset of Ambivalent Ann
click here to view the BTS video with Ravyn Alexa & click here to view the BTS video with Ambivalent Ann
First Look members:
click here to view the photoset of Tatyana Elizabeth wearing Whiskey Dog Wares taken by Kara Perry double exposed over my images of Yellowstone National Park & click here to view the video of me nude cooking and dancing

Click here for the gallery passwords