• 2022 Recap!

    January 9, 2023 /

    I did a 2021 recap last year and was really encouraged by it, so I’m doing another one this year! I have issues with object permanence and it’s easy for me to feel like I’ve done NOTHING, so looking back and writing up the major things that happened and the things that I accomplished is really helpful for me to realize that I did, in fact, DO THINGS!

    I created this to help myself realize that I am accomplishing things all the time even though I feel like I haven’t. I did NOT create this to make you feel like you need to compete with me or for you to compare yourself to me. The last thing I want is to make someone else feel bad about themself. Everyone’s life and journey is different, and we are ALL VALID whether or not we accomplished ANYTHING AT ALL. ♥

    This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to make a purchase using my link (at no extra cost to you!). I only recommend things I have personally used + love!

    • Journaled every day (I started this Jan 20th 2020 – almost on year 3!)
    • Energy practices (almost) every day
    • Took many walks outside + at parks
    • Spent time w friends
    • 8 tattoo appointments – so much closer to being done with this massive project!
    • Went to Floyd Yoga Jam
    • Visited a friend in Boone
    • Got covid in August for the first (and hopefully only) time
    • Visited AD in DC x2
    • Solo van camping trip to Shenandoah
    • Solo van camping in Hocking Hills
    • Got STI tested in Feb, May, + Dec
    • Went to an Art Walk in my hometown
    • Went to friends + familys bday parties
    • Went to a family reunion in VA for my dad’s side of the family
    • Got a new passport with my name change and X gender marker!
    • Volunteered at the VAPA Center
    • Dyed my pubic hair blue x2
    • Spent over $2500 on van repairs (oil changes, inspection, window motor, fuel line, tires…)
    • Mountain trip with Abe at airbnb +  mushroom experience
    • 3x mushroom trips + microdosed several times
    • Helped set up and break down Sol Harmony Fest, my first time seeing behind the scenes of how a festival comes to life!
    • Housesit for my aunt while she’s out of town x2
    • Asheville trip w Abe (surprise trip that last minute changed but was still super fun)
    • Mountainpalooza with 15 of my high school friends! (year 4 and counting!)
    • Stayed w Granny for a week to help her out after she was in the hospital w pneumonia
    • Hosted a model + her partner, first time hosting in several years – since 2017/18?
    • Van camped w friends 5 different times
    • First group van camping experience! 13 people and 4 dogs in a mountain forest
    • Went to 2 bonfires with friends
    • Abe and I made a Duct Tape Dummy of myself

    Let me know what you’d like to see from me in 2023 by responding to my survey!

    • AD tied + suspended me for the first time in years, my first suspension since my rope injury in 2016, first time at The Crucible
    • Got back into the local kink scene + started going to play parties
    • Got myself a doggie crate for my bedroom, for claustrophilia reasons, also for putting myself in time out reasons, and kink reasons lol
    • Did my first self suspension in rope
    • Went to PUSH – a fetish party in Durham
    • Went to 4 kink parties
    • Went to 5 rope labs
    • Had 3 rope mentoring sessions (so far)

    I was only able to accomplish these things because of the support from members of my patreon, thank you so much!

    • Anti-planning Workshop w Elizabeth Goddard
    • Yoni Massage Workshop w Lior Allay
    • Nude Yoga (virtual) w Lior Allay
    • Feelings 101 w Dawn Serra
    • Advanced Master Program on the Treatment of Trauma from NICABM (5 part master class)
    • How to Build Your Business Without Social Media w Becca Tracey
    • Thai Massage Workshop w Ann Marie
    • Balls + Yoga w Ann Marie
    • Glow Yoga w Meridith Young
    • Laughter Yoga w Carolyn Keller Sells
    • Plant ID Walk – Know Your Weeds w I-TAL Acres
    • Psychedelic Breathwork w Monica McGee + Kendall Selfe
    • Ecstatic Dance w Katie Wells + Beatfarm3r
    • Howdy! Partner Yoga w Shawn + Marie Nuthall
    • Energy Medicine Yoga w Nicole Lafon
    • Nature Walk – Plants, Food, + Fire w Johnny Stowe
    • Defying Gravity: Acroyoga FUNdamentals w Kaelyn Rogers
    • Intuitive Movement w Claire Nagy-Kato
    • Teas Tonics + Tinctures w Willow Luna (my mom!)
    • Psychedelic Integration w Anjali Valea
    • Chakti Yoga w Lauren Nixon
    • Rhythm + Flow Yoga w Amber + Jimi Nedoff
    • Learned a suspendable futomomo and uplines (thanks AD)
    • Found a local rope mentor + started recurring meetings to learn rope bondage
    • Aftercare is a “bad word” w Zir Oya aka @mount.saintoya via Shibari Study
    • Rope Has an Image Problem w Christian Red via Shibari Study

    Check out the organized list of HUNDREDS of books I want to read!

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  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    November 3, 2020 /

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on July 22nd 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    I’ve been saving this set for a bit because I love it so much. Sometimes I want to hold onto things a little while, I enjoy having solitary time with them before other eyes have a chance to see.

    I am close with my sister Gemini, in both age (18 months apart) and relationship (best friends). We don’t get to see each other as much since AD & I moved to a place about 45 minutes away from her and my parents. We used to be 15-20 minutes away. She has gone through a lot in her life in a way that I’ve been fortunate enough to never experience. She is strong, courageous, intuitive, genuine, complicated, unique, and oh so beautiful. I’m lucky to know her, and blessed to call her my sister. <3

    We took these self portraits together when we were in San Antonio in March. I love creating with her!

    Gemini has been considering starting her own Patreon, I’ll let you know when she has it up and running! She has a kinky side that will definitely show up on her page. You already know this if you follow her on IG, she recently posted some waxplay photos and she loves being an adorable fox (yeah, complete with ears and tail!).

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    Since this is a Gemini appreciation post, I’m sharing a video of her foxing around in two futos. It’s fun to practice shibari on her and she loves it. She’s super cute walking around on her knees, especially when she loses her balance hehehe.

    And, just because I feel like it, I’m sharing a backyard yoga timelapse video too! =D

    All members have access to this complete 90 image photoset by clicking here, the backyard yoga timelapse video by clicking here, and the videos of Gemini foxing around in futos by clicking here.

    Not a member? Click here to sign up for instant access!

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  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    August 25, 2020 /

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on May 20th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Celebrating 1 year since I got wrist drop! Well, technically the official 1 year is May 22nd but… close enough. =] If you’ve been a member for a while you probably remember this time last year when I got wrist drop from too much time and pressure on my radial nerve during a shibari suspension. I didn’t have the use of my (dominant) right hand for about 3 months and wasn’t able to go to aerial silks class for 7-8 months. Watch the video in the archives to see how bad it was… it was pretty bad. I couldn’t lift my hand from my wrist or do a “thumbs up,” it was just constantly limp.

    Honestly, I’m really thankful that it happened. It taught me a lot about myself & made me appreciate what I have. I learned that I really need physical activity in my life & that I can really lean on Antisocialdisposition. I already knew that he will do just about anything for me but for the first week or two he helped me do things that you really take for granted when you have two hands to do it with and suddenly you only have 1: wash my hair, get dressed, open jars, carry lots of things, etc. I became more ambidextrous because of this and I even became more confident in myself over time because I learned that I could still do pretty much everything for myself with just my left hand. I did definitely have several days after it happened that I freaked out about it because I wasn’t seeing ANY improvement and I was so scared that it would never get better. It did, very slowly, but it did start to get better. As soon as possible I started doing yoga at home (only simple stuff I knew wouldn’t aggravate the injury). I honestly think it would have taken much longer to heal if I wasn’t staying active, exercising it as much as possible, saying positive affirmations, and visualizing it getting and being better. I am SO SO thankful that it got better. I am also thankful that it happened. It was a challenge and a lesson. It happened for a reason: for me to learn to appreciate what I have and to learn how important being active is to me because I really didn’t know that before. It strengthened me and it strengthened my relationship with AD.

    What is something “bad” that’s happened to you that you now realize was actually beneficial in the long run?

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    To celebrate being able to do silks again, check out the 2 new silks videos I added! In one of them I somersault in the air to a single ankle hang, I mean how badass does that description sound?! It’s really fun. The other video is a crazy difficult core strengthening exercise: spinal roll down from straddle. You’re supposed to take as long as possible on the way down which is what makes it difficult and REALLY works your core.

    All members have access to this complete 59 image self portrait photoset by clicking here and the aerial silks videos by clicking here.

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  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    June 30, 2020 /

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on March 25th 2017. I no longer use Patreon and have replaced it with my website (here) but thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    Antisocialdisposition and I wanted to take some photos with his new digital camera, so we took a few photos here at home but something just wasn’t clicking. Maybe it was because he hasn’t had a chance to fiddle around with his new camera much yet, maybe it was because I was really hoping to take an awesome set (or two) for you guys and we only had a short amount of time, maybe I’m too spoiled by film and how magical it is, maybe the stars just weren’t lined up right… but we just couldn’t get anything to work the way we wanted. We both got a little frustrated (mostly me) and ended the shoot pretty quickly after we started. He had more homework he could work on anyway so we said we would just try again another day. I was slightly upset that things just weren’t working out in terms of creating some photos for you guys so as a last ditch effort I thought to myself “fuck it, I’ll just take some self portraits with whatever calls my name first and if they come out, awesome, if not, oh well. I’ll try again another day.” This enormous 165 image photoset is what came out of that frustrated self portrait session. And you know what? I really love them. I guess the moral of this story is don’t force art or creativity or it just won’t happen. Put legitimate feeling and emotion into it and it’ll be amazing.

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    I’ve uploaded 3 new aerial silks videos! 2 of me doing single ankle hang with a spider climb exit & one of me doing a salto dive! The spider climb exit shows you how buff I am, I literally climb the silk with just my brute lady-arm strength! Salto dive is super fun, it’s like a mini drop. =]

    All members have access to this complete 165 image photoset by clicking here & aerial silks videos by clicking here.

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  • FREE ARCHIVED BLOG & PHOTOSET

    August 20, 2019 /

    I originally wrote this for Patreon on June 12 2016. I’m planning on switching everything over from Patreon to my website (here) over the next few months and thought I would share some of my old blogs with you for FREE to show my appreciation for you visiting my website! <3

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    I experimented with rope again the other night and really like the results! I did a self tied body harness that I just made up, it was pretty fun. I’m practicing more with rope now, I really enjoy it. I’ve always been interested in rope and #dancingbearsvacay intensified my interest. I did a couple of harnesses on my sister Kitty (edit 8/20/19 she now goes by Gemini) yesterday too! I’ve made a new folder in the galleries where I’ll put all the photos from my rope practice on others. =]

    Antisocialdisposition and I are taking a 2 week trip to Colorado at the beginning of July!!! We’re going to Denver, Rocky Mountain National Park, Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park, Arches National Park (Utah), and Mesa Verde National Park. Lots of photos and videos and hiking and camping and edibles will be happening, I am so stoked! While we’re gone I definitely still plan on posting content on here but it will most likely be only a couple of photos at a time since I’ll be posting from my phone. I will be posting more frequently than my normal once a week since the posts will be smaller. Look for a couple of huge posts after we get back and I get all the film developed!

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    The complete sets have 49 images (with rope) and 40 images (without rope), I’m sharing 14 of my faves here with you.

    Become a photo member for instant access to both of these complete sets and my entire photo archive since 2014! <3

    Post Rope:

    Become a photo member for instant access to ALL of the photos I’ve ever released!

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  • Thankful

    March 6, 2019 /

    Three years ago on May 22nd 2016, I had the experience of my first real shibari suspension, which in itself was really special and magickal. It put me in a headspace I had never been in, and it was a powerful way to connect with a new friend I made while at an artists retreat. The rigger who tied me was very practiced and knowledgeable and we discussed limits and safety beforehand, and even with those precautions the shibari suspension resulted in me sustaining a major injury to the radial nerve on my right arm. That nerve damage caused me to have wrist drop for 3 months. That means I had no use of my (dominant) right hand for THREE MONTHS. I was inexperienced and wasn’t cautious enough or listening to my body enough to realize I was damaging my radial nerve. I know better now, I know how to check myself periodically to make sure everything in my body is still good, and I know how to better communicate with the person tying me. Honestly, I would definitely do a shibari suspension again, even after being injured during my first experience, but I will probably never do a TK again, which was the tie my arms were in that caused the injury after being in it for too long. The nerves in my arms and wrists are just too fragile to be in that kind of tie.

    I’m bringing this up because its coming up on the 3 year anniversary of this happening, and also because I just found a BUNCH more photos (200+) from that day that I’ve uploaded to an archived folder, which you can view by clicking here if you’re a photo member.

    If you’re a video member, click here to watch the video I made showing how my wrist/hand was impacted by wrist drop.

    I’m so thankful that I regained the use of my right hand, that it only impacted my life for a short amount of time (3 months was a long time when it was happening but in the grand scheme of things is really not that long), and that I gained a new perspective and knowledge because of it.

    Be thankful for what you have because it’s not guaranteed forever.

    I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

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  • trust

    January 13, 2019 /

    This photoset from an artist’s retreat weekend that involved a lot of shibari can be found in the May 2016 gallery.  Rope by Meymoon Model: Grace

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